Chapter 23

Meredith’s bedroom, 7:35 p.m.

“So, he’s not.” I smile at Megan who’s sprawled out on Meredith’s bed, her legs kicked up, her fingers flipping through some magazine. She doesn’t pay attention to me, just flips a page violently and starts to smile.

“Well, he certainly isn’t any more.”

This girl’s hilarious. I haven’t really hung out with her a whole lot until today and yesterday. I talked to her quite a bit at the party last night and introduced her to a lot of people because Meredith was busy most of the night. In fact, I only really got to see her a couple times. When I first arrived, she ran over, kissed me quickly, hugged Megan and Trace and then scampered off. She talked to both of us for about ten minutes a little later and then near the latter part of the night she plopped down beside me, leaned her head against my shoulder, complained of a champagne headache and sore feet and told me she was ready to go home.

Heels click in the bathroom that I can’t see into and I hear Meredith yell, “Meg, stop being a slut face!”

Megan looks up to her left and narrows her eyes. “Shut up and get ready! I’m hungry.”

“We still gotta wait for them to come pick us up, darling.” Heels click again and I hear the sink running for a moment. I want to go in there and see her and kiss her, but I don’t. I just sit here and roll up my sleeves like a good boy and don’t bother her. I’ve been in the dog house for a week now. It sucks. Sure we’ve kissed and made out pretty heavily, but she hasn’t let me get naked with her in a week, no two weeks ‘cause the last time we did shit was in Tennessee. And we’re all going out tonight to celebrate her album release on a much quieter and smaller scale than last night and I know she’s gonna be looking hot and teasing the shit out of me.

“I’m trying to have a conversation here…” Megan rolls her eyes, throws the magazine off the bed and moves to sit up, looking at me. “Anyway so he told me he lied about being a virgin ‘cause he thought I was one and didn’t want to scare me.”

I laugh and say, “I thought Meredith might have been one when I first met her.”

Megan laughs, “I can see that. She can play the shy card, but me…hello, I’m about as blunt as they come.”

Heels click some more and my girl comes into view and I smile at her. She’s got one hand on her hip, wearing sexy, tight jeans and a cute little sleeveless top. Shit, she looks good. She waves her makeup brush in between me and Megan, “Should I be worried that my boyfriend is so interested that my best friend is having sex with her own boyfriend.”

“Mere you don’t understand,” I say, trying to get her to come over here and give me a kiss. I bite my lip like I know she likes and smile at her. “You don’t find many twenty something year old guys who are virgins and who are attractive.”

It doesn’t work and for a moment I feel like an idiot when she bends over in laughter. “Oh my god, you found him attractive!”

“Shut up, I’m confident enough in myself to be able to say that.”

She rolls her eyes at me. “Confident, don’t you mean arrogant?”

It doesn’t really hurt my feelings, but she’s taken the fact that she’s “mad” at me a little farther than I like. It’s not like she’s mean to me, but she picks on me a lot more and I know if I was picking on her right now she’d really get mad at me and probably get a bit of an attitude. I don’t know, I guess that’s unfair. I guess I deserve it. I guess she’s trying to teach me a lesson or something since she didn’t like that I blew up at her and her assistant. But damn, I’m not in school any more. I don’t need a fucking teacher. “Hush.”

She waves me away and walks back into the bathroom. “You shouldn’t have said that. Now she’s gonna want you to have a threesome.”

I raise an eyebrow at Megan. “Really now?”

“Nah, she’d tease the hell out of you about it but never go through with it.”

“Megan!” I can’t help but laugh at her voice coming through the bathroom again. “Stop telling all my secrets and come in here in the good light and tell me if my eye makeup looks ok.”

“Well damn…” Megan says, pushing herself up off the bed and walking into the bathroom. “Hurry it up because they should be here any minute.”

The door shuts and I wonder why. It’s not like I’m going to spill their secrets. I guess they’re probably talking about me.

Stop being conceded Justin, they’re probably talking about something totally different. Probably about some hot guy or some girl thing that I wouldn’t understand. She does that with Courtney sometimes, too and that really annoys me. Megan doesn’t bother me. I know they are best friends and have secrets and shit. I don’t know. I guess I’ve been kind of weirded out ever since I walked in on Trace and her. It just doesn’t make sense to me. He’s never in his life gone for someone like her. He told me I didn’t know her enough to be able to make that judgment. Hell, I’ve been around her quite a bit the past few months. I think I know her pretty damn well.

And I still don’t trust her.

Especially after he said she just walked out on him and wouldn’t understand or couldn’t handle that he didn’t want a relationship. He told me that he told her he just wanted like a fuck buddy. I mean, if you can’t handle it don’t get in that situation, ya know? And clearly she can’t. I tried to be a good friend to Trace and listen to him but when he told me he had sex with her I was a little shocked. I mean, he hasn’t really been with anyone since Elisha. Maybe that’s the meaning of all this. He got so fucked up with her he doesn’t even realize what he’s doing, who he’s doing.

Meredith says I’m being unfair. She says I should give Courtney a chance. I don’t really understand why I should. I’m not obligated to be friends with her. I try to stay out of her way and she stays out of mine and that’s cool. But she’s still always fucking staring at me or staring at Meredith and I can’t stand that shit. It’s one thing if it’s a fan or just a by passer but shit, this girl is supposed to be professional. She’s got a job to do and it’s not to stare at me, taking notes or ripping me apart or trying to figure me out or whatever the hell it is she is trying to do. And it makes sense now all those times Meredith said she was moody or messed up or whatever. She and Trace had fought the night before or something. If she can’t keep her personal shit from messing up her work, then she’s not meant to be a personal assistant.

Trace hit me with the bomb, though. He told me he might care about her.

What in the hell? Have sex with the girl all you want, but if you start caring about her then yes, shit like this is gonna happen and she’s gonna run off and be pissed at you and take it all out on someone else and be a bitch about everything. I barely even saw her last night or him. I think he was trying to make it up to her at the party. He shouldn’t even bother. He should let me set him up with someone, like Bev who was here the other day. She’s a nice girl, dumb as fuck, but she’s like the perfect rebound chick. She’ll just stick around long enough, doesn’t give a shit if all you wanna do is have sex or just sit around and watch ESPN with a hot girl beside you. And she’s fuckin’ fine.

He should have started to date her or fuck around with her, really, ‘cause for some reason, me inviting Bev to rehearsals really got me in trouble with Mere. She kept wanting to know how I knew her, and how good of friends we use to be. I swore to her I’ve never fucked her, and I haven’t. I mean yeah, we might have fooled around once or twice, but that was like fuckin’ years ago. It was the first real time I’ve seen Mere jealous. Like when I was being an ass in Miami she wasn’t really jealous of those girls in the studio, just pissed at me and frustrated and hurt that I treated her the way I did, and she had every right to feel that way.

But Bev? I mean come on. I got Mere, why the hell would I want some other girl who’s not nearly as hot and who’s dumb as a brick?

I think I really fucked up at the awards when I blew up. After our fight in Miami, Mere latched onto me, decided to put all that behind us and move forward, but then she saw that I’m not perfect and I think it’s kind of jaded her. She’s been really cautious with me lately. Sure we’ve stayed over with each other at night, but she’s not as physical with me and not as happy. At least she doesn’t seem that way. I feel like I’m always doing something wrong. I don’t know what I gotta do but I gotta do something to make her realize that I’m not purposefully trying to be an ass. I fucked up, I’m gonna fuck up.

She keeps saying that she knows that and that she knows I’m not perfect, but I don’t know.

Sometimes I wonder. And with us going on tour in a little more than a week, we gotta get this mess figured out.

I know I overreacted about the interview mix up, it wasn’t that big of a deal but it was all over the tabloids and Access Hollywood did do a story on it. Of course they asked all our reps and they confirmed that we were together so it was all cleared up but still, they made it seem like she was an idiot for saying “no” when we were really together. I seemed to get off the hook pretty easily. She didn’t seem that upset about it, but I was. I’m still not really sure how it all got mixed up. Angie seemed to pretty much clean Courtney’s name, said that it was her fault and her mix up, but I don’t know. I guess what bothered me the most is that it didn’t even seem to phase Meredith. I guess that’s good that all this press shit doesn’t bother her that much but it’s like she’s completely numb to it, it’s like all she cares about is me and that’s, that’s ok I guess.

I guess it’s just weird. Before I thought the way she just dove right into me and was all in love was kind of naïve and blind, but then I don’t know. Maybe, maybe she’s actually more mature. She’s not cautious and she’s not got this box around her protecting her. She’s strong and she wants to be in love and so she let herself fall for me not caring about the consequences. I think she feels like she can deal with me and her feelings and I know she has faith in me. And maybe the awards made her remember Miami and made her lose some of that faith.

Shit.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think she’s gonna break up with me or anything. I just feel like I’ve dug myself in this hole and I’m trying so hard to get out of it. But I’m afraid after I get out there’s just gonna be another hole. And sometimes I wonder if she really understands me.

I know she does. I know she gets me and understands how I think about things, but at the same time she…she challenges me. She makes me not…not think about myself so much. She makes me feel sometimes like...like I need to change. Do I need to change? I just don’t know if this stuff is good or bad. Like, sometimes I think she wants more from me than I can give.

I want to be in love, I want to be in love with her. I want to be a couple and be exclusive and all that great stuff, but…but sometimes I think she wants more. And I see myself with her, I really do, for a long, long time. But I don’t know if it’s as long as she sees us together.

I’m not even thirty.

Shit. Why am I even thinking like this? We’ve been together like a month and a half and here I am freaking out because I think she wants me to marry her or something. I take a deep breath. I just need to calm down. I’m over analyzing this. I just need to be with her and be happy because she’s right for me and she feels right for me.

And I feel right when I’m with her.

Sometimes I wish I could just shut off my mind. It always seems to be wandering to places and making assumptions that it has no reason to.

The door opens again and I sit up a bit, hoping that it’s her, hoping I can get a smile and some reassurance, but it’s only Megan. She closes the door behind her, laughs and goes up onto the bed again and looks around for something. “Beware, she’s starting to plug up a curling iron.”

“I should be worried?”

Megan makes some dramatic face and widens her eyes. “Yeah, Meredith is great when she has Shanda doing her makeup and hair or if she’s just going for a normal everyday look. But when she’s doing her own stuff for a night on the town she gets excited and takes…”

I roll my eyes but smile. I’ve noticed that. Normally she doesn’t try to get too dolled up, and she’s breathtaking even in the mornings when she has nothing on. There’s been a few times when I’ve wanted to take her out and it seemed like it was taking her a century in that bathroom, doing whatever it is she does. “Forever.”

The smile on Megan’s face is gone when I look at her again and she’s staring me down with an eyebrow raised. “Are you annoyed?”

“Um no, not really.” I take a deep breath trying to loose the feeling that I’m on a damn witness stand. “Why?”

“Good.” She moves her eyes and sighs. “’Cause she’s been that way ever since I’ve known her and she’s not going to change.”

I feel like this conversation is starting to go to a place that I don’t want it to, so I quickly try my best to stop it from turning into some deep thing about how I don’t deserve her and need to treat her right and etcetera etcetera. “I’m glad she has you Megan.”

“Me too. She needs someone to keep her grounded when she starts getting all gushy over you.”

She doesn’t look at me, just leans off the bed and picks up the remote that was on the ground and looks at it curiously. Great, now I’m going to have to dig further which is gonna get her preaching to me about being a good boyfriend, but my curiosity won’t just let me shut up and sit here and be quiet. I mean, I know Mere gets kind of excited sometimes, but that’s not really a bad thing is it?

“What?”

Her eyes stare directly into mine, “Please, you’ve been around her enough. You know how she gets. She’s all in love and obsessed and happy to be with you, and I’m glad for that, I really am. But I just don’t want her getting too far from reality. You fucked up in Miami, you guys got in that fight last week apparently, and you seem to be kind of, non-uber excited about the tour which is stressing her out.”

“Wait. Just hold on.” I sit up in the cushiony chair that I’m in and lean forward, my elbows on my knees. I hate this shit. I hate that I feel like I have to prove myself to Megan. She’s a great girl and a lot of fun and I’m glad my girl has someone like her in her life, but shit, this big sister act is getting damn old. “Miami, we’re past that ok? I know I fucked up but we’re trying to move on. And the awards thing, well we’ve talked about it a lot since then. Yeah I over reacted, but I think I had reason to. I think she knows that now. I was an ass that night and believe me, she’s punishing me for it. But she knows I was upset and she knows I had a right to be upset and we’re getting past that. Now, about the tour…”

She cuts me off. “About the tour, I’m glad you aren’t in a dream world about it like she is. I’m glad you’re being cautious. I’m just trying to get her to be a little more like that and think things through a little more. But don’t think that she’s being naïve or dumb. It’s not that at all. She knows something could fuck up, but she has faith that it’s not going to. Maybe a little too much. She’s never fell this hard before, and she trusts you. And I know you are aware that if you break that trust, you’re gonna have to deal with me, but what’s even worse, you’re gonna have to deal with her…and that’s scary.”

I rub my forehead with my hand. I had a pretty bad hangover this morning. Last night after her release party we went back to my place and most of us kept drinking and got completely trashed. I kind of passed out after a while and woke up this morning with me shirtless, but still in my pants and Meredith laying half on top of me still in her dress, laying on the comforter of my bed. I had the worst hangover and I think it’s starting to come back. “Megan, when can we stop with the big sister act and just hang out?”

“I promise I won’t lecture any more…” She grins at me. “At least not anymore tonight.”

I nod at her in thanks but I don’t really feel grateful, “I appreciate that.”

I sit back in my chair and just stare at my hands, thinking about how I wish they could be on my girl, anywhere. This morning she threw up and I held her hair back for her and it was so smooth and soft. She got mad at me and told me just to hold her hair and stop toying with it while she was puking. The click of the TV takes my thoughts off my hands and her body and this morning and how I hope maybe tomorrow morning I can wake up with her again and start it over without me having to hold back her hair, but with me running my hand over her back under the covers and kissing her shoulders to wake her up. Megan starts to laugh and I look up but not because of her laughter but because the door to the bathroom squeaks open, “God, you guys only watch the damn food network.”

I smile at my girl as she leans against the doorway, “Mere has some strange fetish with it.”

“Oh my god, I do not.” She throws a small hand towel at me in protest, but I catch it and laugh at her. “Shut up, you like it too.”

I look her up and down, she’s got her hair wavy but kind of pulled back and her body looks smoking. I reach out my hand, put the towel on the floor and motion for her to come over. “You look good.”

She smiles at me, saunters over and sits down on my knee. Her body leans into mine and she kisses me softly. She pulls back with a smile and I lick my lips. Her lip gloss tastes like something, I don’t know what it is but it’s sweet. I kiss her again, opening my mouth just a little and I hear her sigh. Fuck, I want to make her sigh my name and I want her naked with me.

It’s been too damn long.

“Need me to leave so you guys can make babies?”

I pull away and laugh, but I stop when she hops off of me and pats my head. “Nope, no making babies for Justin.”

I look at Megan and sigh, “I’ve been in the dog house for a fucking week.”

She laughs at me. “Told ya, you don’t wanna mess with her.”

“Clearly.”

Meredith smiles and turns to me, “Have they called?”

I narrow my eyes at her and reach up to pinch her side. My hand gets slapped. I feel the phone start to vibrate in my pocket and pull it to my ear and press the button saying, “psychic” to Meredith and passing her a look so that she knows how much I want her.

“Huh?”

I laugh at the confused voice over the phone. “Nothing, you here?”

“Like a minute away, we’ll beep the horn. Someone’s being impatient and says there’s no time to get out and visit and all that shit.”

I roll my eyes. I don’t know why he picked her up. I thought she was driving here separate. I bet this is Mere’s doings. I bet she called up Trace and told him to go pick Courtney up on his way. She needs to stop meddling in their business so much. It’s going to get her in trouble.

“Right, see ya in a sec.” I pull the phone down and stand up so I can slide it into my front pocket. I touch Mere’s neck and shoulder, squeezing gently as she rolls her head back and closes her eyes. “Y’all ready?”

“Yeah…” Megan yawns, clicks off the TV and says, “Lemme go get my purse.”

She walks out of the room and Mere goes to turn the light off in the bathroom. When she turns back around I make a point of being right there. I put my arms around her and hold her against me, smiling down at her.

“You look good girl.” I lean in and kiss her nose. She always gets this little cute smile when I do it.

“I better.”

I lean down again and this time I press my lips against her neck, softly. Damn, does she smell good. “You always look good.”

She pulls back from me before I can kiss her neck a little more seductively. She just smiles up at me, a perfect white smile that makes me melt. This girl has made me fall bad. It’s like I just need her. And the more I get the more I want and the less I get the more eager and desperate I get to have her. I know sometimes I try to hide it so I don’t look like a complete fool, but if she saw inside my mind and how much I craved her and wanted her, she’d see how bad I got it. I got it just as bad as she does, if not more so. Mere’s just a little more comfortable showing her feelings than I am. I know that’s a problem of mine, I know I need to work on it. But shit, changing is hard, especially when you’re trying to change for someone else and not yourself.

“You’re trying so hard to get off probation, aren’t you?”

“Mere…” Feeling her body against me is making me weak, and smelling her sweet perfume and seeing her bright smile. Shit, this girl knows I got it bad and she likes seeing it. I start begging her, and I hardly ever beg. “Please, it’s been like two fucking weeks since I’ve-“

She leans in and says slowly against my lips, “You should be able to wait for me.” Then kisses me, touching her tongue against my bottom lip and pulling away with a sexy look in her eyes.

I turn up my nose and whine at her, pulling away and putting my arms over my chest. I know I sound ridiculous but I’d give anything to connect with her like that again. “You’re never gonna have sex with me again, are you?”

She laughs, pats my arm and starts to walk away from me. “Aww, you sound so pitiful.”

“You’re mean.” I shuffle after her out into the hallway but she turns and stops and puts her arms around my neck, smiling at me.

“You like being teased, ‘cause you know once we do have sex it’s gonna be fucking phenomenal.”

I don’t touch her and when she leans in to kiss me I don’t kiss her back, but instead try my best to give her the most pathetic and sad look I can muster up. “Yeah if we ever have sex….”

“That’s true.” She just laughs and pulls away from me. “We might not ever again…” She looks over her shoulder, walking down towards the den area, winking at me, “Then what will you do….”

Damn that woman. She’s too hot and she knows it.

“Guys, they’re here…” I hear Megan call and I narrow my eyes at her.

“I really hate you.”

She laughs again and snatches up a small purse that was laying on her couch. I follow her to the door and stare at her ass as she presses a few buttons in the alarm system keypad. I wonder what she’s got on under there. I hold the door open for her as we go and she turns to say to me, “Are we coming back here tonight or going to…”

But I don’t pay attention because she stops mid sentence. I look up and the head lights of Trace’s Beemer are highlighting her closed garage. I hear a car door open, but I don’t see it, I don’t see anything but the two single lights that are bobbing and nearing us, coming from the street. It’s chilly outside and the wind seems to have picked up.

I blink.

This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening, not…not here.

Meredith’s hand is in mine immediately, holding on tight. I feel her holding onto me, standing behind me. We’re down the couple of front steps and I just stare. I feel the blood rush from my face.

I blink again, hoping this is a dream, hoping this is going away, hating every minute.

But when I open my eyes again the two lights are still there, closer now, not bobbing, and Megan is there with her hands on her hips, attitude in her voice, “Um, who the fuck are you?”

There’s a deep laugh, a sniff and one of the guys there holding the video camera, moves it from his face, smiling through his bushy beard and bringing a lit cigarette up to his lips, “Hi Justin, Meredith, having a good night?” He blows the smoke towards us.

I grip Meredith’s hand harder. She’s stiff, I can feel it and her nails are digging into the skin of my palm a little bit. I bite my lip and step forward, glaring at these two guys. Who the fuck do they think they are? “Are you serious right now, man?” I say to the one who’s blowing smoke at us. Asshole.

I’m seriously wondering if they realize what they are doing. This is private property, not just Meredith’s house, the whole fucking neighborhood. I don’t know how the hell they got through the front gate to the neighborhood. Hell, the security guard gave me a hard time a few weeks ago because I didn’t know Mere’s number address. These guys are trespassing and they’re gonna have a hell of a fun time in jail.

Idiots.

Just calm down Justin, just get in the car and get out of here and call Johnny and have him deal with it.

“Oh…that’s your friend, right Meredith?” One of them says, pushing their camera up in Megan’s face.

She puts her hand up on the lens to block it and they pull back a little bit. I hear Trace’s voice say, “Hey, back off ok, you guys find something better to do.” Another car door slams.

“Pays the bills right here.” One of them says and laughs.

The guy with the video camera looks up at me and smiles, sickening. I see his eyes shift to the right of me a little bit and then back into my own. “You’re girlfriend is looking hot tonight.” He starts to say and I can literally feel my blood start to pump and boil. I fist my hands and feel Meredith’s hand in mine, still holding on like she’s dangling off a cliff and I’m the only thing that’s got her. Yeah, it sucks and these assholes are breaking the law, but she’s not saying anything. I...I hope she’s not freaking out on me. I know she’s use to paparazzi, but it’s never cool when they are at your house.

“You think maybe she and her friend will let you take some kinky pictures of them like they’ve done before?”

“Justin…” She says softly and pulls on my hand and arm, pulling me back. Immediately Trace is blocking me, trying to get me to look at him, trying to calm me down. I don’t even know what I was doing, but I’m staring that asshole with the fucking beard down, ready to punch is fucking face in. It’s over now. That dude just fucked himself over.

I stare that son of a bitch right in the face and try to step forward, past Trace. I try to let go of Meredith but now she’s got her other hand on my side, almost around me, pulling me back. “You wanna rile me up? Go ahead, rile me up as far as you want! I promise you won’t get very fucking far.”

“Hey, no need to get rude. We’re just making a conversation and getting some pictures. Ya know you’ve always liked whores, so we just wanted to docu-”

I rip away from Meredith and almost push past Trace but he puts his hands on my shoulders and won’t let go. I still don’t look at him. “No, no no…stop it. Calm down.”

“You wanna fucking call my girl a whore again?” I say.

“You wouldn’t do a damn thing, pussy.”

I move, trying to get so I can punch this fucker’s face in. Who the hell does he think he is?

But I feel hands behind me, small hands pulling me back, her voice calling me, saying desperately in a whisper, “Justin, stop it.”

I take a breath and turn to her, trying my best to calm down. She looks like she might cry. I know she’s not going to, I know probably no one else notices. But I see her lip trembling a little bit, the confident look that’s normally in her eyes is gone and she’s pleading with me, silently. I look at her, “Get inside.”

“Please…” She whispers, glancing at the paparazzi for a moment. God, how the FUCK did they get in here?

I grit my teeth and say to her slowly, “Just go inside, now.”

I see Courtney come over out of the corner of my eye and she nods at me, and hooks her arm in between Meredith’s and tries her best to pull her from me. She does, and says softly, “Come on, Mere…”

“Justin he’s fucking with you…” I hear Trace say in a quiet voice as I watch the girls go inside. Meredith looks back at me and she looks fucking defeated or something. “Just calm down, maybe you should go inside, too. We’ll call the cops and they’ll-”

I pivot around and step forward, getting close to the guy with the beard’s face, the other guy looks like he’s only 20 and has a skinny face and sunken eyes like he’s been on drugs or something. He looks harmless though. I bet I could snap him in half. “You know you’re fucking trespassing! You can get your ass in jail for that and you’re harassing me? How stupid can you be? Don’t think I haven’t been through enough of this shit before.”

The guy with the beard laughs and puts the camera back in my face, the bright light blinding me for a second. “Oh I know, you like to make a big scene for the cameras and then act like its all sad and depressing that people are taking your picture and you want the cops to stop us. They won’t do shit. It’s not illegal to take a picture. You’re just a pussy with a slutty girlfriend.”

Trace is in front of me faster than I can do anything and he’s trying his best to talk to this guy civilly, but that’s not gonna work ‘cause these fuckers are animals and they don’t give a fucking shit. “Man, you need to chill the fuck down. That’s out of line and you know it.”

“Who’s this? Your little bitch lover?”

He laughs and turns around to me, rolling his eyes. “Oh right, like I’ve never heard that before.” He tells me to come with him and we get closer to the car. I look back, surprised the paps aren’t following us, their talking to each other and I can’t hear what they are saying. Trace’s trying to calm me down but it’s not working. I just stare at these assholes, glaring, wishing I knew what they were saying. I can’t believe this. They fucking ruined my damn good night. I was gonna have fun with my girl and our friends and here they gotta show up and fuck up every damn thing. And now I’m gonna have to fucking deal with this drama all fucking night. Maybe Trace is right, I should just go inside.

Courtney comes back outside from where she took Mere and Megan in and waves her cell phone in the air, smiling at the assholes. “You guys are welcome to stick around. I called security and the PD so you are welcome to stay around if you’d like to be arrested.”

The skinny guy points to me with his digital camera. Fuck, I should just rip the thing from his grimy ass fingers. “You might want to give him his rabies shot. He’s starting to foam at the mouth.”

“You guys are pathetic and lame, just leave,” Courtney says. I’m just leaning against the car with my arms crossed, waiting, waiting for them to fuck up again.

“Why?”

I glare and push myself off the car, “‘Cause I’ll have your fucking ass arrested, that’s why.”

One of those assholes tries to fucking mock me in a high pitched voice. How pathetic. “My fucking ass arrested? Oh dear...”

I look at Trace and point to the fuckers, “Did he seriously just mock me?”

“Justin he’s a tool. Just forget about it and get in the house and me and Courtney will handle it.”

I sigh and think maybe he’s right. I probably should just go inside and calm down and sit down and think for a second. Think how I’m going to deal with this. They’re not gonna fuck around with Courtney and Trace, all they want is me or Mere to make some scene. I sigh and try to shake off this horrible feeling.

My head snaps up at that word, at the word I know I just heard that asshole say. He just said my girl was being a shy little cunt. I stare at him and push myself off the car.

Oh, fuck no.

I pull away from where Trace is trying to hold me back and go right up into the guys face. I should just punch him, I shouldn’t even try to say anything, “What did you just say?” The fucker just laughs, just laughs and blows smoke in my face.

I hear and feel both Courtney and Trace pulling me back. “Justin…” They say and I try my best to pull away from them.

“Let go of me!”

“No…calm down, ok?” Courtney says to me. I can’t look her in the face right now. I can’t look anyone in the face. They don’t know, they don’t understand. This is her god damn house! This isn’t a restaurant or a club, this is her fucking HOUSE and even if we were at a restaurant, if one of these fuckers called my girl that, they wouldn’t have time to think. “You’re giving him everything he wants.”

I pull away. They’re right. I am. I’m doing exactly what those fuckers want, but I can’t just let someone bash my girl and get away from it. I pace a little bit and point to the guys who are now looking off into the distance. “He just called Meredith a cunt.”

“They’re three year olds calling people names, just-” I breathe thank God when I hear a low siren in the distance.

“Shit dude…” The skinny guy says and takes off running. The bearded guy takes off as well, throwing his cigarette down, just as the flashing lights come into view. I think it’s just the neighborhood security though and not the cops. At least it’s someone.

“Not part of the plan!” One of them shouts. I want to run after them and as they run to the right of Meredith’s house through the bushes that separates her property from her neighbors.

“See, just pathetic losers who run away at anything,” Trace says and I rip away and pace some more. I want to follow them but I know that won’t do any good. We have their descriptions, if the photo or video comes up the cops will be able to trace it back, hell, examine that damn cigarette butt and get some DNA. I rub my forehead. Breathe, they didn’t murder anyone, just breathe.

They’ll get found out, those trespassing son of a bitches. I can’t believe they just walked right up here and starting saying that shit.

I don’t care who you are, you don’t have a fucking right to do that.

“’How the fuck did they get in here Trace? This is a private community.”

“I don’t know, but we’ll find out when we talk to this guy, ok?” He replies, nodding at the guard stepping out of his car. “And if you wanna press charges we will.”

Courtney sighs and calls back to us as she walks towards the guard, “Mere will have to do that. It’s her property that was trespassed.”

I stare after her. I’ll still fucking press for harassment. You watch me. And Meredith will press charges, I guarantee that shit. Trace is in front of me again, “Go inside. I do not want you talking to this guy when you’re pissed off.”

“Way to fucking ruin a perfect night.”

“Why are you letting this get to you?”

I shake my head. Why doesn’t he understand? They called my girl a cunt on her own property. It just doesn’t make sense. Why would they be that stupid? Why would anyone be that stupid? Paparazzi are usually smart or at least clever, and these guys…I don’t know. Maybe they are just idiots, but then how did they know where to find her. And how the FUCK did they get past that front gate? I look at him. “It’s one thing at a restaurant or a club or out shopping, but this is her fucking house Trace. That’s not right. And why the hell would they just come up like that?”

“To get a reaction out of you.”

“That’s sick,” I say.

“Yeah, but it’s how it works. You know that.”

“I just...” I sigh and run my hands over my head. I have a migraine and I could really use my punching bag right around now. “Usually if they get someone’s house they keep all secretive and shit. This…this just doesn’t make logical sense.” I shake my head and say to him, “Call Teddy and Tiny. I want them to search the area.”

“Justin, you’re freaking out.”

I glare at him. What the hell? “Don’t you think I have a right to? God Dammit Trace, this is her fucking house and they just walked right up and started saying shit.”

“Ok, ok…look, I get it.” He says. “I’d be pissed, too. Hell, I am pissed. Those guys were royal assholes.” He shakes his head and points to Mere’s front door. “But you need to hide that right now and go in there and make sure she’s ok and calm yourself down. Let me handle this. Looking like you want to hit something isn’t going to do damn thing.”

“I hate when you’re right about everything.”

“I know…” He pushes on my shoulder and says, “Go inside.” He turns to walk towards the security guard there. I know he’ll want to talk to me and Meredith and Megan, but I just, I need to be alone right now. I just need to get alone and let this shit calm down. ‘Cause…’cause right now I’m about to blow up.

I’m not supposed to let shit like this bother me. I’m supposed to be a pro at this. Yeah, it always pisses me off, but usually I can just let it go by ignoring them, not smiling or flipping them off. It’s one thing for them to completely be idiots and trespass, but…but why were they trying so hard to piss me off? Why were they saying shit about her? Why couldn’t they just get their footage and get out and get paid? Now they have more shit to worry with. Now they’re fucking running around in the bushes trying to escape the fucking police.

I just have this feeling that something’s not right about this situation. It’s always awkward when people are taking pictures of you, but something about this just, it just doesn’t feel right. I think that’s why I’m so upset. Something…something is just not right. I wish I could explain it better. It’s like this was planned or orchestrated. It’s like someone was really trying to get to me. It just doesn’t make sense.