On Sunset, 8:31 p.m.

It’s silent in the car.

The awkward type of silence but I guess I’m thankful for it because it’s a change from the screaming match that took place, oh about 30 seconds ago. After Justin talked to Meredith he went rabid trying to find Courtney, but she seemed to disappear and I was glad. He kept mumbling shit about everything being her fault. He’s letting stress get to him and he’s getting in his paranoid mode. It happened when he started promo before he released Justified. Justin’s normally a cool guy, but every now and then he gets in his place where he’s so paranoid about everything. He’s been this way since I’ve known him, but now that he’s in the spotlight so much his paranoia is a little more extreme at times. It’s not that he’s unstable or needs mental help or something. He can just get a little panicky when things start going wrong.

Still doesn’t excuse him from yelling at Courtney a few seconds ago. When we couldn’t find her at the awards we just sat down in our seats and watched the show. Meredith’s performance was really good and Justin seemed to relax a bit and enjoy it. Then he had to go up and present. As soon as he finished and walked back to the backstage area, she was there with a water bottle in her hand, talking to Shanda. Courtney was there too, and she asked us if we wanted to go ahead and leave with them.

Justin said, “gladly” in this sarcastic, smart ass tone.

I tried to pull her aside and warn her that I thought Justin might go off on her, but Justin kept talking to me, distracting me. We made our way outside and got in the limo Meredith came in. She was acting weird, too. She’s not said a word since we got in this damn thing, just sat in the corner, looking out the window, ignoring everything and everyone, especially Justin. She’s even got her legs crossed and her body turned away from him since he’s sitting beside her. Courtney’s sitting across from me on the seat against the side of the limo. Justin told me he and his girl argued before, and he better start begging for forgiveness ‘cause she looks pissed.

And the one person that really should be pissed right now, isn’t angry, at least she doesn’t look that way. No she’s just sitting back here, looking down in her lap, trying not to cry. She’s upset and I know that’s soon going to be turned against her and she might blow up.

And then he’ll blow up, too. Shit, this isn’t fun.

‘Cause Justin can be an asshole and not give a shit about making other people feel horrible when he’s pissed.

I’m still unsure what all happened tonight, what mixed up. But so far what I’ve figured out is that Angie called Courtney right before Meredith was going to take the red carpet and was panicking and saying that Justin’s management and her decided that they need to still keep it under wraps and they would do an official statement through their reps later in the week. All Courtney had time to tell Meredith was that she needed to say no to any question about her love life. But it’s not really Courtney’s fault. She was just doing what she was told. I just don’t know how someone’s management could get so confused about all this. I called Johnny and he confirmed that they did talk about doing an official statement later in the week, but he wasn’t sure how Angie got the idea for them to deny their relationship.

“Do you understand that your story makes no sense?”

Shit. Justin, why do you have to start this back up? I’d say it to his face but I know I’d get nothing more than a cold stare.

“I told you what happened!” She yells at him and smacks the leather on both sides of her. “What more do you want from me?”

Here we go again.

Justin crosses his arms over his chest and glares at her. “You know I don’t trust you, so this just makes me question a lot of things.”

“Well it doesn’t matter if you trust me, it matters if Meredith trusts me and she does.” I notice Meredith rolling her eyes. I don’t blame her. Some people say it’s bad to keep things bottled up, but I think she’s being pretty damn smart. I know she wants to go off on Justin and she’s waiting, waiting until they are at home so she doesn’t embarrass him. She’s a private person and she knows he is too. I’d almost pay to see her tell Justin off. I bet it would be funny. I bet he’d start getting defensive and be pleading and begging for forgiveness and she’d just blow him off.

Justin, though, decided to have no tact tonight. He’s trying to embarrass Courtney and it’s not cool. I’d tell him to stop, but I don’t know. Then he’d just be pissed at me.

“Do you, Mere?”

She shrugs Justin’s hand off her shoulder and glares at him. “I’m not a part of this conversation.”

He gives her this unbelieving look and I glance at Courtney. She’s just huffing and rolling her eyes at them. Shit, I wonder if they have liquor in this damn car. Maybe that’ll make everyone else lighten up. I hate it when people are all pissy and fighting like this. “You have to. It deals with you. You can’t just sit there.”

“Watch me.” She glares at Justin and pushes herself off the seat and comes over to plop down on the other side of me. She curls up away from me, too and starts to take off her shoes, setting the spiky heels in her lap.

I hear Courtney laugh and look up to see her staring Justin down. “You’ve pissed her off, so don’t expect her to be all over you.”

“Just shut up!” He bites out at her. “I mean really Courtney, whose fucking management is stupid enough to call right before someone takes the carpet? And then why didn’t someone call me and tell me? It just makes no sense. I think you’re lying.”

“Yes, ‘cause you think I’ve lied about everything since you met me Justin. I don’t know what it is about me that you hate, but this fight right here is just an excuse for you to bitch at me ‘cause you don’t like me. And it’s pathetic and childish.”

He laughs all bitter and I run a hand over my head. This is just great. Now I’m starting to get a migraine. “Childish? You’re calling me childish?”

“‘Cause you are. You’re a fucking asshole and you know it. You think you’re god’s fucking gift to humanity and I really don’t understand how everyone is so stupid and thinks you’re the coolest person in the world. You’re a son of bitch and you know it.”

He shakes his head and I lean my neck back against the cushion and close my eyes, slouching in the seat, wishing I could tone them out. “You call me ‘childish’ and yet, here you are calling me names.”

I need a vacation again. Like not going home to Tennessee, but on a beach with a beer doing nothing for days. Yeah, so we got back from Miami a few weeks ago, but still. I need peace and quiet, away from Justin and Courtney and even poor Meredith and all their drama.

“But it’s the truth! I told Meredith the next time you were an asshole to her I wasn’t just going to stand by and watch you treat her like shit, so I’m not.”

“This doesn’t have anything to do with her! This is about you fucking up!”

God, Justin really is an idiot sometimes. He just walked right into that one. It proves to me that he really doesn’t even know why he’s yelling. He’s just worked himself up and can’t get over his pride. If Justin has a good reason to be mad at someone they won’t be able to win the argument. He’ll get the last laugh and they’ll realize they were wrong and beg for forgiveness.

But right now he’s the one that’s in the wrong, not Courtney, and he’s fumbling, trying to deal with it.

I just sigh and listen as Courtney calls him out on it. “I thought you said a few minutes ago that this had everything to do with Meredith and that’s why you were trying to drag her into the argument.”

I like that about her. She doesn’t take any shit. Of course she’s as messed up as Justin about these arguments that don’t really have any foundation, but whatever. I’m not going to point out all her similarities that she has with him, that’d probably just make her kick me in the balls or something.

“Stop trying to analyze what I say.”

I open my eyes and glance at him. He’s got his arms over his chest and is staring out of the window, trying not to pout and look like a little kid. It’s kind of funny. I glance over at Courtney and she has this little angry, victorious smile on her face. She’s gone from her head bent and her hands in her lap, to angry, pissed off Courtney.

A woman shouldn’t look this sexy when she’s angry. It’s just not fair.

She laughs at him. “What’s there to analyze when you never say anything of value?”

It’s quiet for a moment and I close my eyes again, thinking maybe she’s finally put him in his place and we’ll all get home and everything will just die down and be normal again tomorrow morning.

“How much value is this then?” My eyes pop open and I stare at him. What the hell is he going to say? He has his cocky grin on his face and is smiling all smug at her. Fuck. “Why’d you get fired?”

Her eyes dart in her lap and she shrugs, trying to act like she doesn’t know what he’s saying. What is he saying? “What are you talking about?” she asks.

He licks his lips and stretches his legs out in front of him. “At Whitham or whatever it’s called.”

I stare at her. Her face is red, she looks like she might explode, but she doesn’t. Her voice is quiet and timid. “Wh-what are you talking about?”

“I was hoping you could explain that to me.” He shrugs.

I glance back over at Courtney. She was fired? How did she get fired? I thought she said she was just tired of it and wanted to get into doing PA stuff. “I don’t know what you are talking about and neither do you.”

“Nice cover, bitch.”

He laughs at her and I know I should hit him for using that word with her, but I don’t. I just stare as Courtney leans forward towards him and narrows her eyes. “Look-”

“Just both of you shut the fuck up, God!”

I blink and slowly turn my head to my left. Meredith is glaring at Justin and then moves her glare to Courtney. She’s got her hand against her forehead and I don’t think I’ve ever seen the girl this pissed off. I’ve seen her upset a couple times, but shit. She’s livid.

Justin starts to speak. “I’m-”

“No!” She screams and then takes a breath and leans forward. “Just shut up.”

The next thing I know she’s turned the radio onto the local Top 40 station and turned it up so loud so that none of us can really think about anything else. It’s a good idea. I pass her a sympathetic look. Poor girl, she knows what happened tonight was a mess up, but she’s probably the one being the most mature right now. I’m with her and don’t blame her for screaming at them. Justin and Courtney are both being a little immature.

I mean I feel sorry for both of them and know they both think they are in the right. But they really should just cool off before they start ripping each other apart.

Thankfully, we aren’t far from Justin’s place. After about two songs and some commercials on the radio we end up at Justin’s. The poor limo driver doesn’t even have time to get out of the car and open the door for us before Meredith bolts out. Damn, what did Justin and her argue about? She seems really pissed off.

We all file out after her and she marches straight to Justin’s front door barefooted. He’s trying his best to catch up to her.

“Meredith, we got that photo shoot around lunch time tomorrow…” Courtney says. Meredith just waves her off and glares at Justin and he gets his door open. “Meredith!” Courtney calls after her, but the door is shut and we’re left in the driveway, alone with the limo driver.

“Just let her go,” I say, putting my hands on her shoulders and squeezing them gently.

She twists away from me and glares. “Don’t touch me.”

She looks like she’s about to break down. Shit, she’s gonna break down. I gotta fix this. I don’t want her to start crying and stuff.

“What?”

She ignores me and walks over to the driver who’s standing there. Poor guy, he probably thinks we’re a bunch of freaks. I guess we kind of are. “Thank you for driving Jake. Do you think you could take me back to my-”

I cut her off and shake the guy’s hand. “She’s staying here, thanks man.”

I grab her arm and start to pull her towards my house. She doesn’t protest at first, but finally pushes me off her once we get closer to my home and whispers to me, “Are you serious? Get off me.” I don’t know why she’s whispering now.

“Courtney, stop it.” I look her in the eyes and grab her upper arms and force her to look back at me. “You look like you’re about to cry. Just come in and talk to me. I’ll take you home in a second. Just cool off a bit first.”

She frowns and breaks away from me, walking to my house. “I hate you.”

I just smile and follow her, pulling out my keys. We end up in my house and she drops herself onto my couch. I walk past her and into the kitchen, opening up the fridge. “You want a drink?”

“I want to go home.”

I look up and she’s got her face in her hands and she’s leaning forward. I hear her sniff.

I shut the fridge and come right over to her and sit down. Shit! I…I didn’t know she was going to cry. God, I hope she stops. “Are…are you crying?”

I try to rub her back but she jumps away like I’m poisonous or something. She hisses out at me, “Don’t touch me.” And then wipes at her face.

Shit.

“Courtney…”

“I don’t understand it, what did I do?” She shakes her head. God, she’s a fucking mess. I didn’t know Justin got to her this bad.

Oh God. Don’t tell me she has some sort of….thing for him.

I suck in a breath and press my back into the couch staring straight in front of me. “Look I don’t know what’s-“

She cuts me off and is glaring at me. “How can you be friends with him?”

I don’t say anything for a while because I’m trying to think about how to explain this to her. I admit Justin can get in these horrible moods and can come off as a complete asshole. But he’s not a bad guy. I just don’t know how I’m gonna try and explain to Courtney why he is the way he is. I sigh and turn to her on the couch, speaking slowly to make sure I word everything right. The last thing I need is to say something wrong and then have her take it the wrong way and go blab to Justin and have him put me on his chopping block.

“Justin is just, he’s closed off. He doesn’t trust people easily, at all. I know he’s going to regret what he said to you and he’ll probably apologize tomorrow. He’s getting stressed ‘cause of all the album stuff and unfortunately he’s taking it out on you. And that’s not fair at all, I agree. It’s not that Justin cares about bad press. Bad press is going to happen and he knows that. It’s just made up shit. But this wasn’t. This was something he thought he had under control. When his control is taken away from him suddenly and unexpected he freaks out.” I lick my lips and dare myself to say it even though I know I might not have any genitalia left after I do. “You do it, too. You’re more alike than you think. Remember Tennessee, remember after we-”

She cuts me off with a harsh voice before I can say anymore. “Stop it. I don’t want to talk about that.”

I lean down to try and get her to look at me. “Maybe we should, Courtney. I haven’t really gotten a chance to talk to you since that night I came over to Justin’s.”

She shakes her head and grins just slightly, “And you hit my window with a stick.”

I start to smile and put my arm around her and squeeze her a bit. “See…it’s not…”

She pulls away and cuts me off, again. “Why didn’t you stick up for me on the drive back?”

I open my mouth to speak but then shut it, realizing I don’t know how to respond. Finally I say, “What?”

She crosses her arms over her chest and narrows her eyes at me, challenging me. “You agree Justin was overreacting, right?”

“Yeah, but…”

“Then why are you so ashamed to stick up for me?”

Great. I can’t win. I just can’t win. Either I piss off my best friend or I piss off the girl I’m…the girl I…

I don’t even know what she is to me. Shit.

She continues. “Why did you have to hide the fact that we were having a conversation that night at Justin’s? Why are you so scared he’s gonna find out that we had sex?” She rolls her eyes. “You’re not dating him, its not cheating.”

I sigh and rub my forehead. That migraine is starting to come back and I should probably just get some Advil and go lay down and let her do her thing. “You just don’t understand. I normally tell Justin everything, but I haven’t told him this ‘cause I know he won’t approve.”

She laughs bitterly and stands up off the couch. “Oh…nice. Thanks.”

Like I said, I just can’t win.

“Courtney…”

She turns and stares down at me, her hands waving in the air. “You know how pathetic you sound right now. You let him walk over you, too. Dammit, what is with you people! He’s not all that great!”

I stand up and shake my head at her, trying to remain calm. If I let myself get upset and angry then this is going to blow up and neither of us need that right now. “Why are you so defensive?”

She grits her teeth and grabs at her hair. “Because he hates me Trace! He fucking hates me and no one sticks up for me and says to him that he’s wrong or that he has no right or reason to. Not Meredith, not you. Hell you’re fucking ashamed to even tell him that, that we’re…”

I get closer to her and stare at her. “That we’re what?”

She looks down at the floor and shrugs, breathing heavily. “I don’t even know ‘cause I don’t even know what the hell we are.”

I sigh and pull her against me and hug her. I think she needs it. I think she needs someone to force her to just take a moment and breathe. “Calm down, ok?”

I feel her hug me back and lean her head against my shoulder. This, this is much better and I’m glad she’s not pushing me away. I’m no where near ready to get into some sort of romantic relationship with her, but I’ll admit that I like her, I do. When she’s not freaking out about everything.

“I am, I’m fucking calm.”

I laugh a little bit, “No you’re not.” I run my hand over her back and then pull away and look at her. “If you want me to tell him, I will. I just don’t know what good it’s going to do.”

She stares at me. “I just don’t see why we have to be sneaky.”

I look away from her. “We’re not dating Courtney.”

“I know that.” She pulls away and sits back down on the couch, looking up at me as I walk over to her and sit down again. “But sleeping together isn’t…wasn’t a crime. It happened. And I don’t regret it, either. I just don’t understand why you didn’t even stick up for me in the car when you knew he was in the wrong.”

“‘Cause I choose not to deal with Justin when he’s irrational like that. I’ll talk to him tomorrow, ok? I swear I will.”

She takes a breath and nods but doesn’t say anything else to me. It’s quiet so I get up and go to the kitchen to try and look busy, but before I can try and open the fridge or start loading the dishwasher she speaks up. “You should probably take me home.”

I shrug and stare at her. “You can stay.”

“Right.” She shakes her head at me.

I come back out and sit down in one of the barstools by the counter near my kitchen. “Courtney, I’m serious. Stay with me tonight.”

She folds her arms over her chest and stares at me. “So all this being nice to me right now is so you can get some ass?”

I can’t believe that. I actually hadn’t even thought about it that much tonight. Sure, when I saw her for the first time when Justin went to Mere’s dressing room I thought about how cute she looked and how I wished I could treat her right, like, really spend time with her and show her I cared about her more than just a fast fuck in the backseat of a car. But I didn’t get the chance and I was so occupied with Justin’s freak out that I didn’t really have time to think about her in a sexual way.

“Did I mention sex?”

“No.”

It’s all she says and she just remains staring at my floor, looking miserable. Maybe she hates me now. Maybe this situation is just so fucked up I should just leave her alone and get her out of my sight. ‘Cause dammit, now she brought it up, so now I am fucking thinking about it. She’s got her hair down and she’s got on this purple v-neck shirt that’s all showing off her boobs. And her ass looks damn good in her black pants.

Now I am thinking about how soft her skin is and how hot and wet she was when I was fucking her. I grab my keys from where I put them on the counter and slide off the barstool. “So you want me to take you home.”

“No…” She sighs, “No…” and goes and sits back on my couch, looking up at me. “I…I’ll stay here.”

I stare at her. “Change your mind real fast or something?”

She doesn’t look at me and just shrugs. “I guess I don’t wanna go home…”

Oh, I get it now. Hell, I thought I was lonely but the more I realize it, the more I think Courtney, as much as she tries to play it off like she loves being independent and that her best friend is her work and herself, she hates being alone. “And be by yourself?”

She swallows hard and looks up at me. “Yeah.”

I nod at her and turn to the kitchen to figure out something for us to eat. I don’t know if she’s had dinner yet, but I sure haven’t. I pull out some beers for us and grab some chips. While I’m doing that, I hear the TV come on and glance over to see that she’s taken off her shoes and curled up in one corner of the couch with the remote in her hand. She is really pretty. Like, I think when I first saw her, that first time in New York I was shocked. I tried to play it off like I didn’t like her but that’s bull shit. She’s pretty, she’s hot. And I think from that moment I wanted her and was attracted to her. I tried to push it away ‘cause I was still so fucked up over Elisha.

I guess in a way I still am, but I don’t know. Courtney’s been a distraction. I just don’t know if it’s just a distraction or if I’m really ya know, moving on. I hope I am.

But damn is she looking hot tonight. I gotta control myself, though. Even if she asks for it and pushes me up against the couch like she did against the car in the rain, I can’t. I don’t want her yelling at me and crying and getting upset and blaming me. Part of me wants to sleep with her again. Another part of me is terrified to. After that night of me sneaking around and tapping on her window and shit, after that conversation, that was it for us. I mean sure I came over and hung out with Justin and Mere and she was there. But she was so fucking reclusive and awkward. Meredith was trying her best to include her into things, but she was always tired or had work to do. What the fuck kind of work did she have to do?

This…this is the first time we’ve really been by ourselves since that day, that day I tapped on her window, that day I fucked her in the backseat of my mom’s car.

I almost laugh. I fucked someone in the backseat of my mom’s car.

I’m a slut.

I set the food down on the coffee table and get comfortable next to her, but I keep a good distance so that she won’t think I’m trying to make the moves on her. I guess I’ll sleep on the couch tonight and she can take my bed. I wouldn’t mind sharing a bed with her. I’d offer but I don’t want her assuming I’m trying to get in her pants.

Like I know she will.

There’s absolutely nothing on TV, not even on HBO. We end up watching some rerun of The Apprentice or something. I’m not really a fan, but she sets the remote down when it lands on it. We don’t talk, we just drink our damn beers and eat and watch.

It’s awkward, but I don’t complain because she’s calm and not yelling or crying or freaking out.

But I can’t help it. The silence is freaking me out, so I go and make up some bull shit question to ask her, “You want something to sleep in?”

She looks at her watch and laughs. “It’s not even nine, Trace.”

“Oh…well we can just watch TV or something.” I’m an idiot. I really act like an idiot when I like a girl. Shit, I’m not supposed to like Courtney. I mean of course I like her, but not….not in that way. Maybe in a couple months, after some time has past and I’m sure I’m over Elisha and know Court better. I’ve spent a bit of time with her, but I still feel like I don’t know her that well. Like I know nothing about her past and it’s not like it’s some secret she just, hasn’t reveled it. And in a way I kind of think she’s done it on purpose.

The Trump fires someone and she laughs at the fuss they make and I just watch her and think about what Justin brought up in the car. I try to stop myself, my brain thinks it then tells my mouth to shut up, but before my mouth tries to stop itself, it just comes out. “Were you really fired?”

And she turns slowly to me and stares. Great, hold onto your balls kid ‘cause she’s about to rip them off you.

She sucks in a breath and lets it out slowly and I wait in agony, about to grab myself. Finally, after a moment she says, “I was let go, it happens to a lot of people. I don’t know how Justin knows that, but it doesn’t matter to me. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Oh…”

I don’t know how Justin found out about that, and I guess I should probably ask him about it sometime. I don’t think he’d be obsessive and paranoid enough to go through some massive background check on Courtney. That’s just ridiculous. And it was shit for him to pull it out like that and talk about it in front of everyone.

I should let him know that, too. I think I’ll talk to him tomorrow. I think I owe her that.

We finish watching the episode and when it’s done she promptly picks up the remote and shuts the TV off. I don’t know what that means. I mean, does she want to talk? Or just sit here?

I stare at her and she just looks at her beer bottle and then…shit, then she starts peeling off the label.

I should tell her to stop, tell her that it’s bad luck.

She tips it up and finishes it off. I stare at her lips around the narrow end of the bottle. I gulp and try to force my mind not to think what it’s thinking. But it’s too damn late. I wanna be that fucking bottle. She pulls it away and licks her lips, then puts the crumbled label and the bottle on the coffee table and sighs.

Then she turns to me and stares at me. I don’t know what to do and try to act like I don’t notice, looking around my small house, trying to think of something to talk about. But nothing comes to my mind. I just think about her and wonder what she’s doing and think about how her breasts look so good in her shirt and how pretty her hair is down against her shoulders.

I feel the couch shift and assume she’s going to get up, but then, shit, then I feel her lips against my neck and her hand against my stomach.

I…I wasn’t expecting this.

I feel her smile against my skin and she kisses me lightly against my neck and I feel her hand move down… Shit. I take in a sharp breath and turn to her. “Courtney…”

She stares at me, her eyes huge. She smiles. “Are you sure about this? I don’t want you to…”

Her hand touches my face and she leans in and kisses me lightly. “I’m not going to blow up.” She looks into my eyes and then down for a moment and then back up, whispering, “I…I want it.”

Oh God, I hope she’s right cause if I had any restraint in the world it just flew out the window. I let her kiss me again, harder this time. I even let her push me back on the couch and lay on top of me. I should push her away and I should tell her she’s not in the right mind, that she’s just looking for comfort and she doesn’t really want this.

But maybe she does really want this and if she’s looking for comfort, that’s not a crime.

I just let her use me. I know that’s such a bad thing to say, but I don’t mind it. Really I don’t. I just lay there and enjoy it, I let her kiss me. I kiss her back. I let her touch me and I touch her back, but I make a point not to be aggressive. I don’t want her to regret this. And I don’t want her to freak out and think I’m forcing her or that this doesn’t mean anything to me.

‘Cause it does. Shit, I think it means more than I realize. It…it makes me happy when I calm her down and ease her worries. And right now, with her on top of me, her head against my chest, laying there in just her underwear, that makes me feel good.

It’s the little moments like this that make me wonder if maybe I got it wrong. Maybe…maybe I am ready. Maybe I do like her more than I admit to.

But I can’t give in, not yet. I can’t just go for it with her ‘cause I don’t know her and I don’t know if these mini freak outs she has, the wall she has built up, her addiction to being in control, I don’t know what that means, and it’s rude and it’s selfish but I really don’t want to get involved with a girl that’s unstable or that isn’t really ready to be committed. I can’t have her dragging me down.

I can’t have some girl make me fall for her and then drag me down. I won’t let it happen again.

She starts kissing my chest and I can’t help myself. I pull her up against me and kiss her mouth hungrily. I want her. Fuck, I want her so bad.

She lets me have her, not there on the couch but we make it to the bedroom. And as she finishes taking off her clothes and lies down next to me on my bed I start to wonder who the real Courtney is. Is she really some angry bitch who doesn’t give a shit about anyone else? Is she really some broken little girl that doesn’t know what she’s doing? Or is she a mixture of them both?

Or maybe she’s who she is right now, laying beside me, kissing me, calm, relaxed, dare I say happy, maybe this is who she wants to be. Maybe she’s begging to be like this all the time.

And maybe she just can’t. Maybe she’s just too scared to go down that path and to let someone else take over.

I think that’s what I’m afraid of too and as she lets me get on top of her and as she lets me inside of her I know, I know I gotta be careful, too.

I gotta be damn careful or she’s going to take over me and I’m going to fall in love with her.