Outside Shrine Auditorium, 4:32 pm

Sometimes I don’t think there is anything in the world more annoying than red carpets. Sure, it’s kind of an ego booster, but all the lights, all the screams, all the reporters, its all annoying. Hell it shouldn’t take anyone more than a minute to walk down a couple hundred feet, but it always takes more like 15 or 20 when you’re ‘famous’. At least I’m half way done. And at least the interviews have been decent. Most of the questions have been pretty generic about my album and when it’s coming out and stuff like that. I’ve only had two people ask me about my love life and I was able to skirt around the question with one and the other I just said “yes” when they asked if I was dating Meredith.

I guess it doesn’t really matter. I mean we agreed not to hide anything if we were specifically asked. Back home, when we had our meeting about touring, well it was really a phone conference consisting of us sitting on the couch making out and me teasing her while Johnny and Angie were on the speaker phone. Now that was kinky. We had to stop after a while because they got pretty heavy into business stuff about the tour and about press releases.

Meredith arrived here a bit earlier than I did because she’s performing tonight. She sent me a text message and said, “here goes nothing, luv ya” about twenty minutes before I arrived. I assume that meant she was about to take the carpet. I can’t wait to see what she’s wearing. All she told me was that it was red and short. I hope she does awesome with her performance, hell I know she will. She’s been practicing her ass off this past week during all her promotion in New York. Her album comes out in like a week. I hope that our vacation in Tennessee got her rested up and ready. She’s seemed really happy when I’ve talked to her on the phone, but I haven’t seen her in a week. A damn week.

I talked to her last night for fucking three hours on the phone while she was in New York, and I’m not one of these people that really enjoys phone conversations. I’d much rather talk to someone in person. We talked about a lot of stuff. It started off about how her day had been and what she had been up to and then we got on the subject of touring and she had some ideas to tell me about. We reminisced a little bit about our time there when we first hooked up. That was fun, being in New York together, just starting out. I can’t wait to go back there with her. Then she started telling me how strange Courtney had been ever since they left my house in Millington, how fast her moods have changed. I can’t really say that it seems surprising but Mere was suspicious. She said she was snapping a lot at her, which isn’t cool and I’m going to confront the bitch about that if she keeps it up. Mere said that she had been messing up, too. I knew it was only a matter of time before that bitch realized she didn’t know what the hell she was doing.

At home she was weirder than normal, quieter, more shy. I know my mom didn’t like her. She kept asking me questions like where she was from, and how Meredith found her as an assistant. And one time I was going into the office to put something up for mom and I found the damn girl up there snooping. She claimed she was trying to find a place she could hook up to the internet.

Yeah. Right.

I tried to get Meredith to tell me more about what was going on with Courtney so maybe I could figure some shit out and confront her and get her to change her damn attitude or get lost.

But then Meredith made this moan.

And I was like oh shit.

She claimed she was getting into the bathtub. I made fun of her and told her she better not drop her phone and electrocute herself. It was a cover up so she couldn’t know how bad I wanted to be with her again. And she teased the hell out of me, too. We didn’t have phone sex. I asked her to and she said she was too tired, but she still teased me, and I still fucking masturbated like a pervert while she was talking to me. I think she knew it, too. She kept giggling. I didn’t finish though, I thought that might be rude to make her listen to me jack off while she was trying to have a conversation with me, telling me about how kick ass and sexy her performance was gonna be tonight. I couldn’t help doing a little something though. I had to do something. I think I’m addicted to her.

We had sex twice that first night, once in the bed, the second time in the shower. The first time, well it really meant something to both of us. It’s like sometimes you can just have sex and it’s all fun and feels great, but this was that and more. I really felt like I was inside of her, ya know? I guess that’s kind of a stupid and cheesy thing to say, but I did. I felt connected, I felt loved and I know she did, too. I can’t remember being that happy in, in a long, long…pretty long time. But then we decided to get in the shower. And that was fucking hot. We were seriously just going to take a shower, get clean and go to bed. And I was standing behind her watching her as she was getting all wet and slippery and hot in the water. I couldn’t help myself so I held her, pushing her back into my front. I just wanted to hold her, I didn’t expect anything more. She asked me how I could get a hard-on again so easily, but it had been a while since we had finished. I was going to explain, thinking she was mad at me but then she turned her head and started to kiss me, still standing in front of me. I let her do it and then felt her hand reach behind her and grab me and touch me and start stroking. I started to suck on her neck and I touched her in between her legs, making her gasp and grab onto my head with her other free hand, holding it so my lips couldn’t move from her neck. Before I could think she had her hands against the wall of my shower, her body bent forward in front of me, towards the wall. She was moaning, fucking moaning my damn name and I was holding her hips, doing her all slow from behind as the water came down on her lower back and slid all around us.

Shit, I gotta stop this. I can’t think about this. I can’t get hard during interviews.

We had sex two nights later. It was the night before she left and that was weird but not bad. My parents were home and even though I didn’t care and was pretty confident that my parents weren’t going to barge in or sneak at the door to try and listen, she wanted it to be quiet. And it was so hot watching her face, seeing her try her best not to let any sound come out, trying to be quiet and panting and whispering my name.

I swear. Sex with her is better than I had fantasized about it all those months.

So much better.

Her body is amazing.

She’s amazing.

Last time I saw her amazing body she was pulling out of my driveway in Millington, dramatically blowing kisses at me and waving like she was Miss America. I know it was a front. I know she was really sad that she was gonna be away for a week. So was I. I wanted her to stay with me that extra day in Tennessee before I flew back to LA, but she couldn’t. I think my grandma wanted her to stay an extra day too. Grandma wanted to teach her how to make fudge.

Tennessee…damn, that was like the best fucking trip home ever and not just because she let me have sex with her, but I don’t know. Something about having her there with my family and really being home, it felt perfect. Everyone loved her, too. The only damper in the trip was the business with the tour shit. I mean, we’re gonna do it and it’s probably gonna be really awesome, but I can’t say I’m not nervous as hell about it.

When we talked on the phone last night, Mere had some ideas about us singing together on stage and what not. She was telling me all her ideas for her songs. She played me her album while we were at home and there’s really only one or two songs that are a glimpse of what she was being molded into on her past record. She’s really come a long way and I think this album is gonna get her to that point where people are talking about her songs and her voice and not just the fact that she’s got a name in the tabloids.

I actually let her hear the finished product of my album. She’s one of the few people that have. We listened to it together in Tennessee and she loved it and squealed when she heard our songs. They are pretty damn good. One she’s really just the co-writer and a backup singer. It’s a pretty standard ballad but it’s got good vocals, if that’s not cocky to say about myself and the lyrics are pretty deep. It’s called “Stand Alone.” She’s a good writer, especially if that’s really the first time she’s done it. Then there’s this other song we wrote that’s pretty sexy. In fact, looking back on it I can’t believe we were writing that and singing that in the studio and were able to keep our hands off each other. It’s a dance track, but it’s pretty fucking hot. I don’t know what we’ll do on stage for that one, but we are planning on performing the three songs we did together on stage together.

I just hope that nothing happens like us getting in a fight and her not wanting to come out on stage and perform with me. I don’t think she would be that petty, but I don’t know. What if I fuck up again? I don’t want to, I don’t plan on it. But I’m not perfect. Like, what if something happens between us? I’m not saying I’m gonna break up with her, I don’t want to, god she’s perfect for me. And…and I love her, I really do. I mean, we’re in love and shit, but still. I’ve never toured with someone I’ve been dating. Sure they’ve come on the road with me, but this is different. This is her performing every night and then me coming out and us doing some song together and then me finishing the concert. This is like what married artists do who have kids, like Tim McGraw and Faith Hill.

Mere and I just started out. And my tour is different, it’s clubs, it’s no frills, just the music and I know she can pull it off, but she’s never done that before. She always has backup dancers and I don’t know if she’s ever really performed with a live band, one that she really interacts with.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m really looking forward to it and I really think it’ll give her some more credibility. Maybe people will stop seeing her as just another female pop act and see the amazing amount of talent she has. But I’m still nervous. And it’s been hard because I can’t really say that to her because I don’t wanna hurt her feelings and make her think that I’m doubting her or us.

I actually have more faith in her than, than I think she realizes. I wish I had a way to show her that, really show her.

I haven’t felt this way in a long, long time. Sometimes I catch myself thinking about her and I have to wonder if I’ve ever felt this way before. I was so immature in my previous relationships. I tried to pretend that I wasn’t, I tried to act like I knew everything and its not to say those relationships weren’t serious, ‘cause dammit they were, but its just so different now.

And Meredith, well at times I still think she has a lot of growing up to do. A lot of times I think she’s just too optimistic, too trusting, too blind to how the world really is. But she’s not stupid and she’s not naïve.

She’s special.

And she’s mine.

I smile, blink and focus on the guy in front of me and slide my hand into his.

“Thanks for the chat, Justin!”

I shake his hand and nod. “No problem.”

I walk away from that part of the press line, hearing other reporters shout my name, camera men and fans are screaming it to. I just walk right over to Trace who was behind me standing a few feet away and say, “’Who’s next?”

He guides me further along the carpet and I’m thankful that we are almost done. I really do hate this shit. “Access Hollywood, then MTV and then wave and smile and then we’re done.” I do what he says and wave and smile to some of the fans there. Shit, those girls look like they might fall out of their seats and over that damn wall. That would suck.

“Thank god.”

I look over where Trace is walking and follow him over to where Access Hollywood has stationed themselves. Ya know, I think something’s going on with Trace. And he hasn’t told me yet and I haven’t pushed cause I know that he’ll tell me eventually. But I think something happened with him in Tennessee and I’m not really sure what. He’s been quieter than normal, and he’s been spending a hell of a lot of time on his phone, which is normal, but he’s been getting these calls and keeps like leaving the room, and that’s not abnormal, but he does it like every time the damn thing rings. Maybe Elisha’s been calling again.

Mere has told me her theory, but I refuse to believe he’s sleeping with Courtney until I hear it from his own damn mouth.

I shake my head and wave some more and walk right over to Billy who’s standing there with a microphone talking to his camera man. He spots me and waves me over with his microphone, saying my name. I see the camera lights are on so this is going to go straight into interview. Sometimes you get a small prep time but I guess not today.

“Hey Justin.”

“Hey, long time no see.” I say and I shake his hand. I’ve done lots of interviews with Billy Bush. He’s a pretty cool guy. Kind of looks weird to me, but whatever. He’s never that annoying, asks the normal stuff and will sometimes throw in a different question which can be fun to answer. ‘Cause these red carpet things, shit, you’d think people could be a little more original in their questions. I guess it’s a challenge for me to try to answer the same questions in different ways.

“Saying that to me?” He laughs. “What about you! Acting seems to have taken up all your time. How does it feel to be here at the movie awards now that you’ve starred in a couple?”

I put on my charming interview smile and nod. “Definitely have much more respect for what goes on in the movie business, but the great thing about the MTV awards is they’re always fun, never take themselves too seriously.”

“Speaking of serious, we’ve got some news this week that your album date is September 12th, correct.”

I nod again and smile. “Yes.”

“And you are going to be going on tour in a few weeks…”

I think I know where Billy’s headed. I’m surprised more people didn’t ask tonight. Very surprised it, well she, didn’t take over all my interviews. But I know where he’s going with these questions and I just smile and go along with it. “Yes, we just got all that planned out and the dates and everything and we start rehearsals next week.”

He smiles at me and says, “Rumor has it that a special someone is going to be tagging along for the tour.” Then he pushes the microphone in my face.

“Billy, I never thought you listened to rumors.” I just try and play it off. I’m sure he’s talked to her already tonight and I know it’s going to be huge news tonight or tomorrow or whenever they air this interview and its headlines that me and Mere are official. Whatever.

“Actually these rumors are true. It came out today that Meredith Craven is going to be touring with you. She’s performing tonight as well.”

“Yes.” Ok, this is getting a little awkward. It’s kind of weird talking about her with someone else, someone in the press. I guess I should get use to it since we agreed not to hide it. He hasn’t even asked me if I’m dating her, yet.

“And you two worked together on both your albums and now you’re going on tour together.” I nod and this new look comes over his face, a new little mischievous look that I don’t really know if I like. I’ve never had a problem with Billy, but I’m starting to get nervous. “So what do you have to say about the rumors that you two are dating?”

I laugh, and forget the fact that my stomach is starting to ache. “Who says that they are rumors?”

“Well…” Billy laughs. “In fact, she does.”

I blink.

What did he just say?

“We just talked to her a few minutes ago and she said you guys were just good friends and didn’t have time for relationships right now.”

I just stare at him. I know I have this weird, curious, little stupid grin on my face. I’m in shock.

She denied me. Fucking told the world we weren’t together. But…but we discussed this.

We had a fucking meeting with Angie and Johnny.

We agreed. What…what the hell?

“Justin?”

I can hear my heart beat in my ears and snap out of my weird daze when Billy Bush says my name and I smile and laugh it off, doing what I’ve been trained to do for the past ten years when questions like this happen: bull shit. “Well you know how some girls are, they always like to play hard to get. But I’m sure she’s gonna bring down the house tonight and our tour together is gonna be unstoppable. So you guys be on the look out for the dates to come out in just a few days.”

I think Billy takes the hint, plus he knows he only gets a certain amount of time with me. He nods and puts his hand out for me to shake again. “Alright. Sounds great. As always, it’s a pleasure Mr. Timberlake. Enjoy your night.”

“Thanks Billy.” I smile tightly and whip around and march over to Trace, mumbling through my teeth, “What the fuck was that?”

“I don’t know. I thought you guys planned not to lie.”

“We did…” I sigh and look at him, pleading with him. Shit, I don’t know what to do. I feel like my world just got blown up a little bit. Ok that’s pretty dramatic thinking, but shit. I can see it now: “Timberlake says Yes, Craven says No,” “Is Meredith really playing hard to get or is Justin delusional?”

Fuck, maybe I am delusional.

This has to be a bad dream. Wake up Justin. WAKE UP!

Shit, I’m still here. “What the hell Trace? I talked to her about this two hours ago on the phone to confirm everything.”

He takes a deep breath and blows it out, “Calm down, we’ll handle it in a second, you still got interviews to do.”

Fuck. Why did I wear this fucking sweater? I push up the sleeves and wave and smile and bull shit my life some more. It’s hot as fuck. We walk slowly down the carpet some more. I wanna run. I wanna find her and figure out what the hell she was thinking. Is she pissed at me? Is this some joke?

‘Cause its not fucking funny!

“Shit. I even told another reporter we were dating. Now there’s gonna be all this conflicting shit all over the press.”

“Like I said, calm down. Smile and wave and go over and do MTV and we’ll figure it out.” He literally pushes on my back toward the raised MTV platform and the next few minutes blur by.

I don’t even know what the hell I say to the reporter. I have no idea. I just go, I do my normal shit and thankfully she doesn’t ask me a damn thing about Meredith. Everything blurs but it doesn’t happen fast.

It seems to take a long time until I’m really conscious of what’s happening around me. The next thing I really remember is being in my seat in the auditorium, glancing around, trying not to look too suspicious, trying to find out where the hell she’s sitting so maybe I can go figure out what the hell her little brain is thinking. Trace is talking to me, acting like we’re in this deep discussion but I know he’s just covering for me, just so that other people don’t start talking to me and asking me questions. I pull my hat off my head and run my hand over my hair.

“Where the hell is she, Trace?”

“I don’t know, she’s probably already in her dressing room.”

That gives me an idea and I slide out my Sidekick from my slacks pocket and log onto the internet so maybe I can IM her if she’s on, it’s too noisy to call and I might leave her a text but I’ll try this first.

Thankfully when I sign on I see her name there in the list thing and immediately send her a message.

ButtMonkey81: Where are you?

I wait like a minute and it feels like it’s taking forever. Trace is laughing at me. I know I’m blowing this up, but my mind is running the worst case scenario. Like maybe she hates me now, maybe something happened and she was just fucking with me this whole time and now she’s gonna ruin me in front of everyone just to get me back for being an asshole that one time.

But she wouldn’t do that. I…I have more faith in her than that.

More faith in us.

I just don’t understand what the fuck she was thinking. Is her fucking memory short term or something? Does she not remember me calling her an hour or two ago confirming that she wanted to tell everyone? She said yes and said she wanted the world to know that I was her man and that she couldn’t wait to get drunk with me tonight and party.

I sigh and glance down, thankful she finally responded.

NoYouMayNot: dressing room

NoYouMayNot: i’m next to christina’s room. there’s a bathroom right outside of it. come see me ;)

I sign off and slide my phone back in my pocket and stand up. “Come on…”

“Whoa, hold up…”

I look down at Trace and shrug, “I’m going to find Meredith. You wanna stay here, then stay here.”

He sighs and pushes himself out of the chair and I just turn and start to walk, trying to figure out where the fuck I’m supposed to go. It’s like the longer I don’t know what’s going on and the longer that I’m completely in the dark about why she said what she said, the more angry I get. And it’s not really that I’m angry at her, I just…

I hate being confused like this. I hate looking like a fucking fool.

“I’m sure she’s not pissed or anything.”

“Well I am.”

I don’t look at him and push myself into the backstage area, ignoring the waves and the random “hey Justin’s” from people that I kind of know.

It doesn’t take that long to find her room and I stand there in front of her door. It’s halfway open and I push it open a little bit and everyone looks up. Courtney’s there, and Shanda is too, working on Meredith’s make up. There are some other girls in there as well, about three of them. I don’t know them but they look like they might be some of her dancers.

“Hey guys…” She smiles at me, brightly and it’s genuine and I’m completely confused. Either she’s a really good actress or she has no idea what she just did out there on the red carpet. Is she really that dumb?

Maybe...maybe Billy got his info mixed up. No, no that’s impossible.

I don’t move my eyes from her and the shadowy makeup she has on. I notice that her smile drops and she sits up a little bit in her chair. “Can I talk to you alone?”

She opens her mouth to speak but instead Shanda speaks up for her. “No, I gotta get her ready.”

I cross my arms over my chest and come in the small room after pushing the door all the way open. Everyone’s staring at me and I glance at Courtney, expecting to get some accusatory judging stare, but she’s not looking at me. I roll my eyes, “Then everyone else can leave.”

“What’s wrong…” Her voice is a whisper.

“I need to talk to you.” I know I sound like an asshole but I feel I have a good reason to act this way.

The next thing I know Courtney is standing up and pushing the other people in the room past me. “Come on girls, you guys need to get your outfits on anyway.”

They leave and it’s just me, Shanda and Meredith. I don’t even know where the hell Trace is. It doesn’t matter right now. All that matters is figuring out what the fuck is going on.

She shakes her head, her hair is pulled back in a slick ponytail and it bounces as her head moves. She narrows her eyes at me, glaring. “What the hell?”

It sets me off and I know it shouldn’t but I can’t help it and I go flying. I throwing my fucking hat on the small bench they have on the other side of the room and stare at her. “I should be asking YOU that! What the fuck were you thinking?”

“Um, excuse me…” She brushes Shanda’s hands away and sits up in her chair. “What are you talking about?”

“The red carpet.” I try to pace but I can’t cause the room is so small and I find myself biting at my nails. I force them into my pockets to make me stop and glare at her. She’s glaring back at me and I don’t understand it. This is her fucking fault.

I think.

“I thought we agreed that we weren’t going to lie about being together and you fucking lied, unless of course you don’t want to be with me or something…”

Suddenly the color drains in her face and she falls back against her chair and uncrosses her legs, making her white robe slip open a little bit. “What…” She licks her lips nervously and taps her thumb on the arm of the chair. Finally she moves so she’s standing up and pacing in front of me. “I- I was told right before I got out of the limo that the plan had changed, that your management wouldn’t let us.”

“What? My management?” I laugh bitterly. Is she serious? My management wouldn’t fuck something up like that. They haven’t since I’ve been in this fucking business. Why would they start now? “Are you fucking serious?”

“Whoa, you two calm down just a second…” I feel a hand on my shoulder and look over at the girl that’s standing kind of in between us, her hands on each of our shoulders. She looks at me and then at Meredith. “I’m gonna go out for a few minutes but I’ll be right back. Try not to kill each other.”

I just put my arms over my chest and the door clicks shut.

She takes a breath and looks at me, looks…shit, looks at me like she’s about to cry.

I think I’m starting to get it now. She doesn’t know what the hell is going on. And neither do I.

“Justin…I’m serious. What’s going on?”

I take in a deep breath and unfold my arms. “I had an interview with Access Hollywood and they asked me about you and I told them we were together, or at least hinted at it and then the fucking guy told me that you told him we were just friends and too busy or some shit for a relationship. He said you denied it, right after I pretty much confirmed that we were together.”

She puts her hand on her forehead and goes to sit down again. “Courtney told me to say that…”

What.

What?

I knew it. I fucking knew it.

“Courtney?” I say, my voice is hoarse. I know I wasn’t screaming just now. It better not be this way when I have to take the stage to present an award.

“Justin…” She sighs and holds her head in her hands. “Angie called her like an hour and half ago and said she talked to Johnny and everything and that we weren’t supposed to say anything. I was just doing what they told me to.”

“What happened to not letting people tell you what to do?”

Ok, I know I shouldn’t have said that. That…that was out of line. But I’m having a hard time controlling my emotions. What does she expect? I’ve been thrown for a loop here, and that normally doesn’t happen. I’ve actually never had this happen in an interview in a situation where I couldn’t just walk out. I’ve had people be asses to me, and I have walked out of interviews before, but I’ve never had a situation like this, where the interviewer was just doing his job, wasn’t being mean, maybe a little sneaky but not talking shit.

He was telling me the truth, at least the truth that he thought.

Why…why the hell would Courtney or whoever tell her to change her mind? I sure as hell know that Johnny didn’t change his!

“Justin!” She stands up again and shakes her head at me. “Dammit I don’t need this. I have to perform in fucking 15 minutes.”

“Shit.” I turn around from her and kick the bench there just a little bit, not hard. “Shit shit shit.” My hat falls on the floor.

It’s quiet and I take a few calming breaths, just staring at my damned hat on the ground. How could a night I was kind of actually looking forward to turn into this utter shit?

I feel a hand on my back and I turn and she’s right there in front of me. Her robes opened in the front now and I can see her black underwear underneath. It’s funny. I don’t even think I could think about sex right now if I wanted to. I look her in the eyes and she’s looking up at me, pleading at me to believe her. And I do. Dammit I do. I just don’t understand how this could get so fucked up. “I thought you were gonna deny it, too. I didn’t know. I swear.”

She reaches for my torso and hugs me tightly and I just sigh and put a hand on her back. “I told people we were together Mere and then they are gonna see you denying it and it’s gonna be blown up and…”

She pulls away a little bit and smiles up at me. It calms me a little, but not a lot. “Stop being paranoid. We’ll just tell them that it was a joke or something.”

“A joke?” Is she serious?

“Ya know.” She shakes her head and pulls away from me, the happy look she just had fading from her face. “I haven’t seen you in a fucking week and this is the welcome I get…”

I watch her walk over and plop down in her chair. She turns it so she’s not facing my way and fumbles with her phone, not looking at me, ignoring me.

“Mere…” She doesn’t say anything and I go over and turn her chair back to me and look at her in her eyes, leaning down towards her. I fucked up ok? I admit it. I was a bit of an asshole to her, but she has to understand why. I’m sure she would flip out on me crying and shit if Billy fucking Bush told her I denied having a relationship with her.

“Meredith…”

She shakes her head and looks away from me. “Just get out.”

“I’m sorry, ok?”

She sits up and stares at me. Shit. When I was an ass to her in Miami she looked hurt. She looked betrayed and lost. But not now.

No she looks like she’s livid.

She’s pissed. At me. Shit.

“I got a hell of a lot more important stuff to think about right now than you being pissed at me for doing what I was told.”

“Well then you don’t be pissed at me, ok?”

She stands up and it forces me to take a step back. Shit, for a second there I thought she was going to smack me or something. “Then you don’t be fucking pissed at me! Five minutes ago I was in the best fucking mood ‘cause I was about to perform and I knew you were coming to see me and now you’re…you’re…”

“I’m sorry!” I yell at her. God, now she’s making me feel like shit. And I know I was an ass but none of this is my fault. She’s got to understand me. She knows I hate it when I’m not in control and when shit blows up like this. She knows that.

At least I thought she did.

She just closes her eyes and sits back down in the chair.

There’s a knock and then the door opens and I watch Shanda slip in and close the door behind her. “I gotta finish you up girl, sorry…”

Meredith shrugs and then stares at me. “You’re welcome to stay here, but I do not want you in here if you’re gonna be making me feel like shit.”

“I won’t, I promise.” I go sit down on the bench and pick up my hat and stare at the back of her head as Shanda starts doing more to her face. “I’m sorry I busted in here and put you in a bad mood.”

“You should be.”

“Meredith…” I sigh, and I try to think of something to change the mood, something sweet that’ll make her happy. I know I just fucked up. I shouldn’t have gotten her all messed up and angry before her performance. I’ll admit that was wrong of me. But, I can’t help it. I’m an intense person and I get emotional easily and she knows that.

“When I’m done performing and after you present, we’re leaving.”

“What?” I lick my lips and narrow my eyes at the back of her head. She’s still pissed at me. Her voice still has that bitter tone.

I see her look at me through the mirror and she stares. “You said earlier today you didn’t want to stay late anyway, so we’re leaving and we’re gonna go home and talk about this.”

“What else do we have to talk about?” I sigh. Dammit I’m tired of this conversation. Her people fucked up. Big time. And that’s that. And I don’t wanna discuss it. I just wanna get over this and get home. It’s been a fucking week since I’ve been with her and now our first moments together are all ruined. And…and I know I was the one to ruin them and well, shit. I don’t wanna admit that. My pride won’t let me. I’m sorry for yelling at her, but I’m not gonna apologize for this situation ‘cause it wasn’t my fault. She might have been doing what she was told on the red carpet but so was I, dammit.

So was I.

Shanda turns her in her chair and I get to look at her face to face. She laughs at me, fucking laughs at me. “Are you serious right now?”

“Look, I’m just a little confused how it all could just blow up like this.”

She starts to smile an angry smile, and then she shakes her head, rolling her eyes too. “Maybe because you’re the one that blew it up.”

I bite my tongue. I need to get out of here before I fuck up more. I push myself off the bench and nod at her. “I’m gonna leave. Good luck on your performance.”

“Yeah…” She rolls her eyes at me again and I decide to just leave the room and get out of here and give her some space.

Shit. This is not good.

Trace is leaning against the opposite wall, yawning.

I look at him for a moment and he notices me and nods. I just cross my arms over my chest, look down one way of the hallway and then the next and then stare at him again.

“Where’s Courtney?”

“I don’t know…” He shrugs.

He’s lying and I glare at him. “Find her.”

That bitch is going to hear it from me.

‘Cause I know this was her doings. I knew from the fucking moment I met her that she was planning something. And even if she wasn’t planning this, she probably got her information wrong and now Meredith and I are fighting and there’s gonna be a big tabloid story. And even if she was doing what someone told her, I wanna know every god damn word that was said. I was working out with Jason this past week and he brought along one of his friends. We were just talking and he said he worked for this photography company that did a lot of celebrity shoots. The name of the company sounded familiar. I racked my brain trying to remember where it was from and it was from when Angie and I were talking at the Look Your Way shoot. We were talking about Courtney, I was asking her where she found her.

And she told me. It was the same place Jason’s friend worked at. So I asked him if he knew her.

He knew her. But this friend of Jason’s knew something else too.

“What’s…”

I shake my head at him, grit my teeth and cut him off.