Off Old Riverview Road, 3:53 p.m.

I turn off the main road at the dented, rusty mailbox there where Riverview makes a sharp left turn. The tires spin a moment on the gravel and the car bumps and dips as we make our way down the familiar road. I look over at the girl in the passenger seat. She’s got her arms over her chest, and she’s glaring, staring out of the window at the woods, avoiding me and doing her best to act like she hates me. I bite my lip and try not to laugh. She’s looking hot as fuck today, this little white button down shirt and this knee length black skirt. The scowl on her face makes her look so sexy. She was the one that bitched when I told her instead of errands we were gonna go visit my grandpa. She pitched a fit and claimed she never agreed to meet my family, that she didn’t want me showing her off like she was my date.

I held my tongue and didn’t say anything about the fact that she was the one dressed up, she was the one that was looking sexy and fine, looking like a fucking “date.” All I had told her was that I wanted to get her out of Justin’s house and show her around Millington and maybe grab a bite to eat before we went into Memphis to do some shit I needed to do. I told her we could go shopping if she wanted. And I hate shopping.

But then my mom bitched me out, told me to take her car to get the oil changed and to go see grandpa. So here I am, driving down five miles of dirt road with Courtney. And I guess a part of me does want to show her off. I plan on making her meet my grandpa and then after that I’m gonna go by my mom’s place to drop her car off and get mine and that way she’ll have to meet my mom. It’s not like she’s my girlfriend or that I even want her to be that. But if my mom thinks I’m dating someone, oh lord will she be thrilled and maybe get off my back just a smidge.

So I guess I’m kind of using Courtney, but she’ll get over it.

Mom’s been on my case since I’ve gotten home. She told me that I don’t come home enough, and that my brother and sister need me around more, that Grandpa’s health is getting worse and I need to be around or I’ll regret it. My dad just laughed at her and passed me a beer and told me to stay out of trouble. He always does that. He’s always so relaxed and chilled. I don’t know. I love my mom but damn, I guess part of my wanting to go to Memphis today was to get out of that damn house. I needed some freedom. Normally I’d just retreat to Justin’s and we’d just shit around, play basketball or X-box, but he’s got his girl. And well…shit.

It wasn’t Justin who called me up and asked me if I could take Courtney out today so they could be alone. It was Meredith. I know what this means. Meredith was nervous on the phone and shy. She kept giggling. Which means she’s gonna fuck his brains out and I’m going to hear about it all tomorrow when I go golfing with him and Randy. Of course, I’ll probably get jealous and it’ll fuck up my game and then I’ll be more pissed off.

I wish I could fuck Courtney.

Ugh, I need to stop being an ass.

She’s really getting hotter. Like every time I look at her she just gets sexier. She doesn’t really wear khakis as much anymore and I’ve seen her in skirts and jeans, but she’s always looking classy. Like Mere will bum around in shorts and a tank top and I guess its hot cause she’s always showing her legs off and shit, but Courtney, that girl leaves it to the imagination. She makes you think. She makes you wonder if she’s got on lacy panties underneath, or if she’s got on any…

Anyway, I can see her legs today and they’re long…and smooth. At least, they look that way.

I gotta stop this. This girl is clouding my mind and I’m just not ready for this shit. I’m still fucked up. Hell, like half a year ago I was engaged. I’m just not ready and she’s confusing the hell out of me. Like last night. Last night I went and hung out at Justin’s. His parents went out of town and we kind of had a little party with the home town gang, well, the few that were still around. And I left kind of early because my brother called and wanted to know if I could come pick him up at one of his friends.

She followed me to the car.

And she was drunk. Ok, she wasn’t as drunk as some other girls there, but she was tipsy.

She grabbed me from behind and told me not to leave and made out with me in the driveway. And it’s weird. Ever since we made up at the video shoot, it’s been weird between us, weirder than it was before. Before I thought she hated me, but now that I know she doesn’t, man, I don’t know. It’s like I’m just sitting around waiting for something to happen. And we’ve hung out. A couple nights after the shoot I took her out and it was nice. We talked about all sorts of shit. I always pegged her for an only child but nope, she’s got an older brother. Apparently her parents had her kind of late and they’re both in their mid 60s. They live in Florida and she doesn’t see them much.

And her brother is married and lives in Texas. She doesn’t get to see much of her family.

But I guess that don’t really matter, what matters is that afterwards I brought her back to the guest house at Justin’s where I pretty much live. She was acting a little nervous so I talked to her about it and we had another conversation about what was going on with us and she told me that she didn’t want me to think that she was ready to have sex with me. She said she wasn’t. She said she didn’t want to.

Then we made out on my couch.

But I was careful not to push and we didn’t do much, just the normal shit, kissing and hands over clothes. But damn did I wanna get underneath.

A few nights later, she was at Mere’s and I came over. Justin was doing rehearsals with Marty and I bounced ‘cause I was bored as hell. Meredith called me and told me to come over. Little girl is playing match maker with me and Courtney and its cute but she’s gonna have her hopes crushed. ‘Cause we’re not gonna date or fall in love like I think she wants us to. We’re just playing around until she gets tired of me or until I find a girl worth it.

Not to say that Courtney’s not worth it. I just can’t see us in a relationship. It just wouldn’t work. We’d fight and rip our heads off and then we’d be bloody and dead and that’s no fun.

Don’t think it’s been all fun though the past week. We’ve argued, too. She told me I was taking too much liberty with her, trying to make her into something she wasn’t, which was a fuck buddy. Again I tried to ask her what would be so bad about that and she just scoffed and rolled her eyes and said something about me probably having a STD. I don’t. But it made me laugh cause of that time that Justin thought he had one like five years ago.

It was hilarious.

He says he’s clean, something about it just being dry skin. I got grossed out and told him just to shut up and not ever talk to me about dry skin again. But sometimes I call him ‘herpwerp’ just to piss him off.

“Fuckin’ great.”

I shake my head. I guess she’s referring to that fact that it’s starting to rain. It’s not even that heavy, it’s just rain. Maybe she’s getting her period. I know that’s such a typical guy thing to say, but really, maybe she is. ‘Cause she’s been bitchy ever since the moment I told her our plans had changed. She seems kind of paranoid of that. Of changing things without her consent. “I asked God to do that, ya know, to start raining just to piss you off. So go ahead and blame it on me like I know you want.”

“Asshole.” I laugh but she just rolls her eyes and stares straight in front of us. Shit, mom needs to get her wiper blades redone. Maybe I’ll just go get a whole service done after we see gramps. Tires rotated, new wipers, oil change, engine check, etc.

“How the hell am I an asshole?” I ask as the road starts to turn. There’s a pretty big puddle and we splash through it. God, ma. I should have taken dad’s pick up, not her Taurus. Yeah, I admit it. I’m driving a Taurus. I’ve tried to buy her a Benz or a Beemer, but she doesn’t want it. She doesn’t like fancy things. Makes her nervous or something.

“Because you just are.”

I know I got her in a corner when she makes horrible comebacks. It means she’s angry with me for no reason. She’s just trying to distance herself from me because she feels like she’s getting too close. It’s amazing how I can just pick her brain and know what she’s thinking sometimes. “You weren’t saying that last night.” Other times I don’t know what the hell she’s thinking about.

She gives me this tone, this really chiding tone like I’m some stupid teenager. “I had a few too many beers and thought that you were Jared Leto.”

Oh thanks bitch for making me feel better. “You’re pathetic.”

“Oh, am I really?”

I grin and figure I’ll throw her for a loop. I reach over and touch her knee and move it up her thigh a bit. Yup, her legs are real smooth. “Pathetic, but hot as hell.”

She takes my hand and throws it to me and smacks my shoulder. “Oh shut up! Don’t touch me!”

“Come on, you know you’re glad to be out of that house and away from those two.”

She makes some little noise to show me how disgusted she is to be here with me. God, if I wasn’t so attracted to her I wouldn’t put up with this childish bull shit. “No I’d rather be with them right now.”

“What with Justin’s bad attitude and Meredith’s constant groping of him? Sure. You know you feel like the third wheel with them. Don’t deny it.” I know she does because I’ve felt it. They’re just getting worse. Maybe it’ll calm down once they fuck, but damn, they’re like fifteen year olds in heat who just found out that its fun to touch each other. They’re always, always up on each other. You should have seen them last night at the party.

It was actually pretty funny ‘cause some of the hometown girls, like Jen and Katie who still think they have a chance with him, were all pissed off and rolled their eyes. They’re nice girls but I tell you one thing, if Justin wasn’t famous, they’d make fun of him like they do the rest of us guys and not give a shit. They’d talk about how there’s no guy worth it in Millington and sip on their beer and talk about how much they want to move.

But they’ll never move.

It’s true though. If he wasn’t famous they wouldn’t give a shit. And I’m not trying to say anything bad about him ‘cause, ya know, he’s like my brother, my best friend, and I love him. But he really isn’t as cool as he seems. I know I’m not cool, hell, I know I’m a fucking freak half the time. But he’s more of a freak than I am. He’s a loser. He knows it, too. He actually gets a kick out of it when people call him cool. He usually just looks at me and makes his weird face, ‘cause he knows I know its bull shit.

“I’d rather be there, than in the rain on some dirt road with you!”

I laugh at her again. “Oh, so you’d rather hear Justin’s orgasm noises than go meet a very hilarious old man? How nice.”

“I’d rather do that than hang-” There’s this loud popping sound and at first I think its just really close lightening. Then I realize what it is. The dirt road is pretty smooth and packed down at this part and we’re hobbling along in the car bouncing like hell. “What was that!”

“Shit…” I press the break and put the car in park. I know what just happened and it sucks ‘cause it’s raining and its still two miles to my grandpas and three miles back to the main road. And my grandpa’s old and I hate to have him come out here in the rain to help me put on the spare.

“What…” It’s a pissed off voice, but this time I don’t think she’s pissed at me. I really wish she’d have a better attitude. I mean as much as it’s all sexy and hot when she’s angry, it can get on my last damn nerve.

“Just hang on…” I open up the door, take the keys out and suddenly it’s like the nice late spring rain turns into a late summer soaking. There’s nothing I can do. I don’t have a hat or a coat or an umbrella, so I just suck it up and look at the front tire. It’s not just flat, it’s busted. Fucking blown out. Shit. I sigh, I know I’m not going to be able to change this by myself and I hope she can stand to get a little wet.

‘Cause I’ll be damned if she doesn’t help me. I’ll fuckin’ drag her out of the car if I have to. I come around to her side of the car, open the door just a smidge and wipe the water off my face. My clothes are sticking to me, my shorts, my shirt, my shoes…oh shit my shoes are ruined. And Justin and I just bought these suckers.

“We had a blow out. Can you come help me with the spare?”

“Are you serious?”

I glare at her and her fake surprised expression. “No, it’s ok. I’ll just ask my little imaginary friend to do it with me. Come on, cut the attitude and help me out.”

She makes another one of her disgusted noises, blows the hair out of her face and pulls her hair back a bit and lets it fall down again by her face. She rolls her eyes and I move when I see she’s getting out of the car. I feel kind of bad, though. I mean I’m just in a shirt and shorts. Yeah my shoes are ruined but I’ll get another pair. She looks nice and I bet her makeup and shit is gonna be ruined. And its muddy and she’s just in these cute expensive looking flip floppy heels. Oh well, I’ll buy her a new outfit or something.

I run around to the back and open the trunk. There’s this flap thing at the bottom of the trunk bed and I open it to find the spare and the jack and shit there underneath. This actually might be kind of entertaining to have her help me change a tire. I wonder if she’s ever done it before. I look at her, and she’s not smiling.

She hits the tire with her hand and shakes her head, yelling at me. “You idiot! It’s a fucking flat, too!”

I reach in and touch the rubber of the tire. It’s flat, real flat. Shit, my mom is so clueless sometimes. Well damn this just sucks ass. “It’s not my fault. My mom sometimes…” I sigh and look at her again. She’s pissed, I think if I didn’t know any better her head might explode. “…forgets things.”

She turns to me after stomping around on the dirty gravel for a moment. I’d laugh, but I’m afraid she might kill me. She spreads her arms out and yells at me. “Like an umbrella. I always keep an umbrella in the car just in case. Your mom needs a reality check!”

That pisses me off. She doesn’t have the right to say that shit. She’s just making up excuses to be mad now. And its kind of ridiculous cause she’s looking…looking really good out in the rain, all wet, her hair all limp now and soaked. Her eye makeup is smudging a bit and her white button down…..well, its not really white anymore. It’s...transparent.

I can see her bra. Shit, I can see her bra.

“Don’t be talking shit about my mom!” I slam the trunk down and glare at her, mainly because I wanna stare at her boobs but also because I don’t want her thinking I’m just sitting here getting lusty when really I am pissed off that she said that about my mom. “She cleaned it out ‘cause I was taking it to the shop and she always cleans her car before she does that.”

She rolls her eyes and stomps over to me and leans against the car. “So what do we do? Just sit here and wait for Davie Crockett to come save us?”

“I’ll call my grandpa.” I shrug. I guess I’ll have to now. I could call a towing company. I could call Justin. Shit, this sucks. I wish she’d be a little more reasonable.

“And what will he do? I thought you said he was old and sick.”

I lash out and step up at her. She’s fucking ridiculous. An insane bitch. “Just shut up, ok?!”

“No! I won’t.” She pretty much spits at me. Like not literally, but she’s flaming pissed. And I can’t help but look at her breasts that are all stuck with her shirt. “Because of your sorry ass HAVING to go see your little feeble grandpa who happens to live in bumfuck redneck, USA. And I get, of course, I get fucking dragged along.” She looks down at her feet and I guess they are a little muddy, little flecks of dirt stuck to her ankles and toes. Her toes are cute and painted this pink color. I would never have picked her as a pink kind of girl. Red’s her color, not like hooker red, but deep red, burgundy red. Sexy red. “And now my shoes are getting ruined, and it’s fucking muddy and I’m soaked and I’d rather go home!”

I laugh in her face and narrow my eyes. She’s just yelling for no reason and it’s ridiculous. But it’s hot. “Why are you being a bitch?”

Then she slaps me.

She fucking slaps me on my cheek and it burns and stings and I look at her, completely shocked. She seems just as shocked as I am. I guess a part of me needed that to smack some sense into me and stop staring at her breasts. But dammit that hurt and she had no fucking right to do that to me.

And…and actually she looks hot, with the rain all over her lips, her trying to lick it off. Maybe that slap wasn’t a good thing. Cause it was a touch, painful and aggressive but really strangely sexy.

Suddenly, I can’t control myself and I grab her wrists and turn her until her back is against the car. She tries to break free of me but I have too good of a grip. “Stop it,” I say in a low voice.

I want her to know what she did was wrong. Hitting me like that was stupid. Like I probably shouldn’t have called her a bitch, but dammit she was acting like one. You can’t blame me there ‘cause she really was acting ridiculous.

“Let me go.” Her voice isn’t pissed off anymore. It’s not angry and it’s not upset. It’s quiet, a little timid maybe, maybe scared, but not like super fearful.

Her eyes are big and she’s staring at me.

“No…” I say calmly and step closer to her so she can’t get away. She struggles for a moment but then sighs and relaxes. “Don’t you put your hands on me again.” She licks her lips and I can’t help it. I can’t control myself. I just can’t. It’s like she possesses me. I push myself against her just a little bit, just a smidge and I smile at her. “Unless…”

“Stop it.” Her voice is breathy. Either she’s about to knee me in the balls or kiss me.

Or both. I wouldn’t put it past her.

I smile and tilt my head and kiss her cheek real quickly. This is what I like, the subdued Courtney. Not that I’m trying to be some oppressive man that wants women to be passive and shit. I don’t. I like when women are in control, but 2 seconds ago she wasn’t. She was out of control. And it’s weird ‘cause I think she was going nuts and being out of control in an attempt to gain control of herself around me. Kind of some deep mental stuff going on there. If she can just put on this front of being angry she won’t fall, she won’t wanna kiss me and she won’t actually like being with me.

I think she likes being with me. “Stop what…” I say. I could kiss her right now.

I should kiss her. But I don’t.

I just push myself against her a little bit more so she can feel me. “That…” Fucking girl is almost panting.

Shit, so am I.

“Why…” I dip in and kiss her neck, just lightly, like I did her cheek. I just press my lips there and pull away.

“Don’t do this, not here…”

I can’t help it. I want this girl bad. Real bad. God, she has her eyes closed and her head’s leaning back against the car, like…like she likes this. “I’m not doing anything.”

“Tr-trace…”

God, I didn’t even realize I was kissing up her neck. I mean I did. I knew I was doing it, it’s not like my mind just went blank, but it’s just now hitting me that, that this is happening. I pull back. I’m so close to her. She breaks away from me for a moment and her hands slide up over my chest to my neck. God, I hope she doesn’t push me away again. “Yes?”

She licks her bottom lip, bites it and pulls on my neck with her hands. She…she pulls me towards her. “Don’t stop.”

I surge into her. I fucking swallow that girl, my hands against the car, her’s gripping against my back, pulling me so close that it almost hurts. The metal of the car is cold and slippery but her body is warm, wet. One of my hands presses against the roof of the car and my other works greedily at the buttons on her shirt. I can’t stop kissing her, I couldn’t if there was a gun to my head or if the world was ending or some shit like that. She tastes good and her tongue is soft and her teeth tug at my lips.

And she’s moaning. Moaning my name, begging me not to stop, telling me if feels so good.

It feels so good.

My hands get to her skin underneath her shirt and I let my fingers skim up her stomach over her breasts, feeling her hard nipples against my palms. I push my dick into her through my sticking wet shorts. She grabs at my sides, pushing her fingers up underneath my t-shirt and undershirt to touch my skin. Shit, her hands against my skin feel good. I kiss her neck hard, and she grabs my sides and I hear her say, “hold on.”

I blink, pull away and she’s opening the car door to the back seat and backing into it. I follow her and we manage to cramp ourselves against the seat long ways and get the door shut. She pulls me into a kiss and I feel her hands at my shirt. It’s over my head in no time and I pull her shirt over her shoulders but it gets stuck at her elbows ‘cause its so wet, but its ok. I move my hands over the straps of her bra, its this pale pink colored mesh thing, and I can see her nipples through it and I lean down and kiss across her collar and then down to her cleavage and in between. And then I suck on one of her nipples.

She moans my name and I look up at her and her heads all titled back. I suck her other one and she puts her hand against my head, trying to grab onto my hair, but it’s buzzed. Her teeth are gritted and she looks sexy as fuck. She takes in a deep breath, her breasts rising as her chest expands. Her legs are spread, her skirt hiked up against her thighs and I’m pushing my crotch against the leather of the seats wishing it was her body.

Wishing I could get inside.

“Get me my purse…”

I blink and look up at her. She’s just staring at me. “What?”

She shakes her head and licks her lips. “Just get it.”

I scramble and climb in between the front two seats and snatch her purse from the floor of the front seat. I sit back down and hand it to her.

I think for a moment that maybe I’ve fucked up somewhere. I think she’s gonna call the cops on me or something and tell me this is a mistake. But she doesn’t. She searches through it like a fucking mad woman, looking for her wedding ring or a homeless man looking for a dollar. She throws out her phone and her small thing of mace, her check book and finally pulls out her wallet, flipping clumsily through all the compartments until finally she sighs in relief, laughs a bit and keeps something fisted in her hand. She then pushes herself back against the seat and gives me the look. It’s that look Justin always talks about and obsesses over in girls.

It’s the ‘fuck me’ look.

She licks her lips again and I move back to where I was.

She’s still breathing heavily and she lifts up, her arms around my shoulders, pulling me into a sloppy kiss.

Oh fuck, her hands are touching my dick. She grabs it for a second and then moves and I feel her fingers at the fly of my shorts. I almost laugh ‘cause I realize, my shorts are khakis. Kind of ironic or something, I guess. The thought fades away and I kiss her some more and move down to help her out cause it’s taking her too damn long to get my shorts undone.

But when I go to help I realizes she’s pushed down the front of my boxers and she’s pulling me out from my shorts. I look up at her. And…and she’s ripping open a condom package with her free hand and her teeth. Suddenly the world starts to slow down and yet strangely speed up. Like I’m in some freakish twilight zone.

But this ain’t scary and this ain’t creepy. This is fucking heaven.

It seems like a second ago we were out in the rain, yelling at each other. And now I’m here and she’s…she’s putting a condom down on me and…and…

And it stops. I can hear my heart thumping in my ears. I feel dizzy and I wonder, I wonder if I should do this.

I wonder if this is going to fuck with things. I wonder if this is going to make me go down a path I’m not ready for.

And I wonder why just a few days ago she was telling me she wasn’t ready to have sex with me, telling me she didn’t want to. And…and now she’s carrying condoms in her purse.

And now she’s lying before me, spreading her legs so I can see her black lacey panties, making her skirt bunch against her waist.

But then it starts up again. And it doesn’t stop. I can’t think and I can’t rationalize this. My brain shuts off. All I know is that I’m on top of a gorgeous woman who’s moaning my name and begging me ‘please’ and gripping me tight. I kiss her and feel her hand leave me for a moment, but she’s back quickly. She pulls at me again, pulls at me from there and I feel skin. Warm, wet skin against me, that certain type of skin, that feel that I’ve been craving.

I pull up a bit, completely out of breath and look down. She’s got her panties pulled aside and I’m against her, sliding and rubbing against her. She pulls her hands away from where she’s holding back her underwear and just holds me in her hand and pulls on my shoulders, pulls me back up against her. Her legs hike up on either of my sides and…and it happens.

And it doesn’t fuckin’ stop.

I slide into her and I can’t help myself and I’m here, I’m here having sex with her, pulling at her hips to try and get her closer. I’m staring at her mouth and her breasts and her eyes and moving in to kiss her lips hungrily and then moving down to her nipples so I can kiss her through her bra. Her nails pierce into my shoulders and I speed up, unable to control myself.

I can only hear her breathing my name, fuckin’ groaning my name, over and over and over again. And I can feel her around me, all fucking around me, squeezing me, pulling me into her, her body pulling me in, her hands gripping me and pulling me down. And I can’t stop.

I fuck her and I fuck her. She gets tighter and tighter and it doesn’t take long before her fists are hitting against my shoulders and she’s holding on. Shit I’m holding too, holding on to dear life, gripping her leg, her hip, her breasts, her neck, the seat, the car door, the front seat, anything, any damn thing that’ll keep me stable, keep me sane.

But there’s no hope, I’ve lost it and I’m falling down into completely utter madness. And I love it. Fuckin’ love it.

I feel her come. Shit, I hear her come. She screams and she’s loud and I think she cuts my shoulders with her nails. She pulls me so hard against her and her pussy squeezes me so fucking tight that I feel like she might just squeeze me off. But she doesn’t and she starts to breathe hard and starts to make this almost, hell I don’t know, purring sound. And I keep going, keep pumping into her until I let go, staring at her body in front of me. I fall against her, bucking for a few moments until I finish.

I blow out a big breath and lie on top of her and stare at this very, very small freckle she has on her neck.

It stops. Everything stops.

I blink.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

I can feel her underneath me, breathing hard, her heart thumping.

I back up suddenly and pull out of her and she lays there for a moment. I sit there, stupefied against the back seat, with my dick all hanging out. I just stare at her. I just fucked her. I really did. She doesn’t look at me, but she stares at the ceiling of the car, and then slowly, very slowly, moves back to a sitting position, resituating her underwear and pulling down her skirt. She starts to button up her shirt.

I suck in a breath as she starts to throw all the stuff she threw out of her purse back into it and I do my best to pull off the used condom without making a mess. This was a very impractical idea, a damn good idea—shit, my ears are still ringing-- but a weird one. I look around me. I can’t really throw this thing out at gramps and leaving a dirty condom in my mom’s car is just…

I open the door and throw it out.

The cool air and the bit of rain, which seems to be slackening off, jolts me for a second. It’s refreshing and calms me down a bit and makes my heart stop pumping so hard. I shut the door and zip up my shorts and get everything straight. I’m still soaking wet with the rain but now I’m kind of sweaty too. I could go for a nice shower right now.

I rub my hand over my face.

Shit, that was incredible. I feel dazed, or drugged or something. And I blink a few more times and shake my head. God, I haven’t come like that in forever.

I look over at Courtney and now she’s just sitting there, her purse in her lap, looking out the window. I smile.

Miss Courtney Dawson just let me bang her. She let me inside and let me have sex with her. I really didn’t expect this and really didn’t think it would ever happen. And it was good, damn good. Maybe a little rushed and quick and I guess it’s a little awkward, but it doesn’t matter. None of that shit matters. I slide over on the seat a little closer and put my arm over the back of the seat, but I don’t touch her.

I lean in and say close to her ear. “Hey…”

She’s silent. She doesn’t even turn to look at me.

Uh oh…

I suck in a breath and pull my arm back and sit there with my hands in my lap. I look down at my knees for a moment and click my tongue against my mouth. Yeah... Ok… I mean, it’s awkward but it doesn’t have to be this awkward. I don’t really understand how she can go from screaming my name in ecstasy to being all quiet and contemplative and not looking at me. Maybe she’s just weird after sex. Hmm…

I sigh and stretch my arms by trying to put them over my head, but this car isn’t all that big so I get stuck half way and I yawn. Shit, I could use a nap. Wow that took it out of me.

“I guess I should call my grandpa.”

“Oh…” She starts to laugh. Um, why isn’t it a happy laugh? She still isn’t looking at me, just stares out the window that’s beaded with rain drops and starting to fog a bit. “Oh nice…real nice.”

“What?” She turns and stares at me. There’s no emotion there and I don’t know what’s going on. Oh shit, was I supposed to like hold her and kiss her afterwards? She wasn’t doing anything so I just backed off to give her some space ‘cause it was crowded as hell back here the way we were laying. I try to make up for it and slide right next to her and put my arm around her and kiss her cheek. “We can’t just sit here all day…unless…”

She pushes me away and opens the car door fast. Too fast. “Fuck off asshole! Call your fucking grandfather and don’t talk to me.”

I just stare at her.

Here enters drama. Drama I don’t want, drama I don’t need, and drama I surely didn’t ask for.

I don’t even know what to say. This…this is different than when she’s pushed me away before. Before she was upset at me and confused, but now… I don’t know it’s like she’s really, truly pissed off. This…this isn’t some front she’s put on.

“But…”

She stumbles out of the car and screams, like really screams, like one of those high pitched straining your vocal chords screams. “Just…just shut up!”

The car door slams in my face. And I watch her through the half fogged windows. She stalks around the front of the car to the passenger seat and she gets in and sits down. She doesn’t turn to look at me and she doesn’t say anything.

I have no idea what just happened. All I know was that she was kissing me and begging me and so I did it and…and it was a trick. It must have been. And I don’t understand it. I wanna be mad at her, I wanna yell at her and kick her out of my car and tell her she’s a bitch and she needs to grow up and if she wasn’t ready to have sex with me then she should have stopped herself.

But I don’t. I just sit there in my backseat for a few minutes and I stare at her and I hope she’ll turn to me and talk to me. But she never does. So I pull my phone out of my pocket and I call my grandfather. And when I’m done with that I see the rain has stopped and I go outside and I ring out my shirt the best I can, then I put it back on. I reach in the front seat and pull out my cigarettes.

I smoke two as I pace outside. It calms me down a bit but it doesn’t change anything. She’s still sitting in the car, not looking at me.

It’s then when I almost storm over to her and I almost yell at her. I grit my teeth and start to move to her door so I can yank it open and figure out what the hell is going on with us. And then I realize. Nothing’s going on with us. We had sex and she can’t handle it. I realize that I just fucked a girl who has no idea what she wants.