Lot 14 outside of Studio B, 2:22 p.m.

I don’t want to kiss him. I don’t want to at all. And I won’t, I swear I won’t do this. It’s wrong and I don’t feel comfortable and it’s...it’s not right. I look at Shanda and she rubs my shoulder for a moment before teasing my hair some more. It’s huge. Poofy and frizzy and I don’t really like it, but it’ll look good for the crazy dance number I have to do. I’ll do the dance, I’ll hold his hand, I’ll even grind with him in the club scene and I’ll get close to him. But I’m not going to kiss him. I…I can’t. A month ago it wouldn’t have been a problem but now it’s not just me anymore.

And no matter how attractive Victor is I’m not going to kiss him. I don’t care if he is super hot and has a cute Russian accent. And I don’t care if it’s good for the single, good for my career, good for the rumors. It’s cheating and I’m not going to have Justin walk on set and see me making out with another guy. Even if it is just “work.”

“Ya know, you’re being ridiculous.”

I look through the mirror, trying not to stare at myself and the ridiculous hairdo that Shanda is giving me. I have my first sequence coming up for the shoot today, but this hair is just horrendous when I’m forced to stare at myself in the mirror. I wish Megan was here, she’d laugh at me and keep my mind off things. I look at Courtney. She’s sitting on the couch behind the chair I’m in, looking at her palm pilot, trying to pretend that she’s not paying attention.

But she’s hanging on every word. I know it. And I wish she could help me right now.

The woman that’s standing near her, staring at me with a scowl through the mirror is my manager. She was the first person in the business to believe in me. She helped to discover me and she’s pulled me through my career to this point. But she’s also been one of the ones to tell me what to do, where to go, how to act and while I know I need to sell records I also need to be myself and stick up for the things that matter to me. It’s weird, too. I’ve never seen her this distraught and upset.

“How so!”

“This is nothing Meredith. If you’re gonna throw a tantrum about this, then what’s gonna happen later on when something more major than kissing some man in your video is thrown your way. I can’t believe you sometimes.”

And while I guess I am being ridiculous and throwing a tantrum, I don’t care. I’m not kissing this guy. And she can’t make me. I’m not a five year old! I’m almost twenty-four and I know what I want and I know what I don’t want. I don’t care if it’ll be great for the video and if it’s what everyone had planned, why can’t I change this one little detail. I really don’t see what the huge deal is. And the fact that she’s blowing it up, makes me blow up.

“And you’re not my mother! And you’re not my boss! It’s about time I start making some of my own damn decisions!”

She glares at me. “I’m your manager.”

I wave Shanda’s hands away from my hair and hear her sigh. I know I’m pissing her off and I’m truly sorry about that. She’s just doing her job and my fight with Angie is not letting her do that. She’s never had a lot of patience with Angie and hasn’t seemed too impressed with Courtney, but me and her click, we get along and I hate it when I’m the one doing something to make her angry. But I have to deal with this now, or it’ll never get resolved.

I swirl around in the chair and point at the woman standing there in nice dress slacks and a pink blouse. “So how would you, manager, feel if you had to kiss some guy for work and Eric walked in and you were like, ‘oh honey its just for work.’”

She rolls her eyes and throws her hands up. “You can’t even make that comparison. It’s not my job to do this music video. It’s not my job to sell a product, to sell myself, Meredith.” She reaches over and picks up the one of the five magazines she had brought with her and stacked on the end table by the small, lumpy green couch. It’s Star and it has a picture of Justin and I walking with each other into that breakfast café in the keys. We’re not even holding hands, and he’s a little in front of me, and I happen to look like I’m frowning and covering up my stomach and the words “Baby Season” are written above my head. I kind of find it funny. “I brought you this stack of magazines so you can see what this kind of relationship is gonna do to you and your reputation. Pictures of you guys in Miami taking a walk, you guys out and about in LA eating lunch. It’s all over the place, can you handle that? Really? Honestly Meredith. Can you handle stuff like this,” She opens one of the magazines and flips for a second and then shows a spread that seems to have tracked Justin and I’s previous relationships. “‘Is that a baby bump or is she just gaining weight,’” she reads.

I lean back in the chair and cross my arms over my chest. “It’s shit Angie. I know that. And most Americans know that tabloids are shit. You think I haven’t been through enough crappy press to be able to handle this!”

My stomach hurts. I don’t know if its nerves or anxiety or that cereal I had this morning. Maybe Justin’s milk was bad or something. Maybe it’s because I’ve never been in this situation before. Before there was nothing that I had to hide or block. If they wanted me to do something I was usually ok with it. They never pushed me into a photo shoot I felt completely uncomfortable with or any other situation. Nervous maybe, but not uncomfortable. I might have not liked some of the stuff I did but I didn’t complain. But now, now it’s not just me. There’s him and yeah, so what if we’ve only been dating for a few weeks! And I don’t care if that’s not technically long enough to matter, to make me wanna change. But I’ve wanted to change for a while. Shit, there’s been shoots I didn’t want to do because the photographer was creepy or the idea was stupid. Like that one with me blowing bubbles and licking ice cream like a fucking eight year old that I had to do about six months ago. I hated that, but I did it anyway. And I didn’t complain.

But now I wanna make my own decisions. And kissing Victor, nice and cute guy that he is, is something I know in my heart I don’t want to do. I know Justin will say he doesn’t care, that it’s just the business. But I know he won’t like it. So I don’t see why I have to. I’ll do everything else they ask, just not that.

“Kissing him will make this die down.” She doesn’t have to explain what she means. I’ve been lectured this whole day, ever since she showed up on the set three hours ago as a surprise. I know what “this” is. I know why she wants “this” to die down. And I know that she’s not happy with “this.” Well she’s going to have to get over it,’ cause “this” is going to be showing up soon. “I shouldn’t have agreed to the labels request of having him be in this video with you, but they told me his people were already excited about it and that it’d be great for the single.”

“And it will be.”

“It’ll be tabloid headlines.”

I shake my head. She’s normally cooler than this. Sure, ever since the shit came out in US Weekly with me and Megan it’s been weird for her. She’s been stressed out, restless, and little things tick her off. But that’s because she’s had to pull in overtime at work just for me, just to fix all my mess. Suddenly she had to start making up explanations for everything I did. I appreciate everything Angie does for me, but yelling at me for having a boyfriend is pathetic and immature and it’s not worth her time. “It’ll be something we can work on together. Please Angie, why are you being so cold about all this?”

“Because I’m worried about you Meredith.”

I scoff and smack my hands down on the arm of the chair. That pisses me off! Courtney jumps and stares at me. I don’t pay attention to her. She’s been weird all morning, jumpy. Maybe she’s getting her period again. “What’s to worry about!?”

“You’re losing your focus!”

“Oh really?” I laugh. I can’t believe some of the shit she’s saying to me. When she called me in New York, all pissed at Courtney, I fucking told her Justin and I were going to start seeing each other. She didn’t say much, just ‘oh ok’ and then hung up soon after. What the hell is going on with her? Is she jealous ‘cause my boyfriend is hot and hers has a busted face?! Probably.

Ok, I admit that’s kind of a pathetic thing to think.

“He’s pulling you away from where you need to be most right now.”

But not as pathetic as the bull shit she’s saying to me.

“This is shit!” I stand up and clench my fist. I hate getting this angry and I try not to let stuff like this bother me, but today I just can’t fucking handle it. I turn to Courtney, “Isn’t it, Court?” She just widens her eyes and stares at me. “Never mind…” I don’t need to drag her into this. That’s the last thing I need. Angie already blessed her out this morning for being a little late to the shoot. It was my fault and I told Angie that, but she somehow blamed it on Courtney. And Courtney got my coffee wrong this morning too when she picked me up from Justin’s. In the almost month that I’ve known her she’s never once got that wrong. I don’t really care, I can drink it black. I don’t need creamer though I prefer that, but…it’s just not like her to mess up little things like that. And she’s been quiet and staring off into space.

I wanted to ask her what was wrong. But I haven’t had the chance with Angie lecturing me.

“What do you need?”

I shake my head at her and wave my hand. Yeah, I think my assistant might need a day off, but damn she’s been off for the past four days. Weird. “Nothing, sorry…”

“Guys, let’s all take a breath.” I look at Shanda and she’s moving her eyes between all of us and waving a hair brush around. She turns the chair towards me and I step over to it and plop down. Yeah, so I’m pouting. “Marc is gonna be back soon wanting to know an answer and ya’ll need to come to some agreement.” She’s right, as always and I look at her and silently tell her thanks for being the voice of reason in all of this. Marc, the director, will be back and he’ll need to know what I want to do.

I even told him I didn’t want to kiss Victor and he said that was cool with him, but then Angie stepped her foot in. He said he had no problem as long as I didn’t have a problem giving a tease at the end and leaning in like I was going to kiss him. I like Marc, I’ve worked with him before and he’s an awesome and very easy going guy. And I don’t see why if he doesn’t have a problem with it, since he came up with the video idea, that it should be this big fight that it’s become.

“I’m not doing a damn thing until he gets here.” I glare at Angie. And I’m not. I’m gonna wait and I’m going to let him decide for us ‘cause I know he’ll fucking take my side over hers. She’s being absolutely, horribly unreasonable.

“You’re impossible, you know that!”

I stare at her and she stares back at me. So I guess we’re acting like we’re in high school and I just found out she has the same prom dress as me. But I’m serious here. I don’t see why she can’t just listen to me instead of bossing me around. I continue to stare at her and say, “Courtney, when are they scheduled-“

“Three.” She cuts me off and I laugh a little and purse my lips.

“Then I guess we’ll have to wait.” ‘Cause I tell you, I don’t care how long that is. I’m waiting ‘til Justin gets here, and I’m talking to him about this before I make any other decisions. That’s only fair and she has to grant me that.

“What the hell has he done to you? You use to not be this stubborn.”

I’m not gonna cry. ‘Cause that’s just stupid, but she’s making me really upset. What has he done to me? I’ll tell you what he’s done to me. He’s made me feel incredible, made me feel special, like I’m worth something, like I’m more than just an ok singer that happens to be a little famous. He makes me feel like I mean something. He makes me happy. He’s made me a little more confident, a little more sure of my self and a little more secure. That’s what he’s done.

Wow, what a fucking crime.

“I use to let you guys tell me what to do, where to stand, how to act, when to smile. Dammit, Angie! I wanna do this myself this time. I wanna make some fucking decisions myself! I’m not your fucking little puppet!”

It started out calm but by the time I finish I realize I’m yelling and I feel Shanda’s hands on my shoulders, rubbing a little and whistling under her breath a little. Angie just stares at me. I take a breath and cross my arms over my chest and look away. Ok, so maybe I’m going to cry now. Shit, don’t fucking cry, don’t pull out this girly weak shit Meredith.

“Excuse me, ladies…” I gasp and look up over to the door, sunlight streams in and I see Trace leaning in with his sunglasses over his eyes and a weird expression on his face. “Are you guys, ok?”

I take in a breath and then I see the door swing open and smack against the wall of the trailer. I let out the breath slowly and smile as Trace steps out of the way and I see him, him there, moving his sunglasses on top of his head, the sunlight now being blocked by whoever is behind him, I think its Tiny.

His presence is like some policeman just busted up in here to save me. He stares at me and then at everyone else in the room before licking his lips and saying in a low, pissed off tone, “What the hell is going on in here?”

I push myself off the chair and whisper, “You’re here,” before running to him. Yes, I admit it, I run to him. I run and I put my arms around him and hug him tightly. I close my eyes and breathe in deep. He smells good and his t-shirt is so soft and he’s so strong and solid and he makes me immediately feel like I’m at home, like I’m at ease.

I look up at him for a moment and he looks down at me, concern in his deep eyes, worry all over his face. “What’s going on?” His voice is still low, but soft this time. He rubs my back and brushes under my eye with his thumb.

I pull Justin back from the door and keep holding onto him. I see his bodyguard there and smile, “Hey Tiny, Teddy went to make a phone call…” I take a breath. What I’m about to say is bold and gonna piss off some people but I need to be alone with my man, and it won’t happen unless someone makes them leave. “Will you kick them all out?” I laugh a little trying to calm myself.

Shanda laughs, pushes past me and smacks on her pack of Camels. She mumbles something that sounds like ‘good luck’ to me.

“Meredith don’t you dare…” I whip around and glare at Angie.

“Angie dammit, please! I’m begging you right now, just give me a few minutes.”

“What is with you today?”

“Just…go!” I see Tiny standing there, holding the door and ushering them out. Courtney doesn’t look at me or Justin or Trace and they all leave. Angie is cussing under her breath as she passes me but soon Tiny has the door closed and it’s quiet and it’s just us, me and him, alone, like it’s supposed to be.

I hold onto the front of his shirt and just hang onto him as he holds me. He holds me tightly for a moment and then pulls back, grabbing onto my shoulders and bending down to look at me in the eyes.

“What the hell, baby? I could hear you guys all the way outside. There was a bit of a crowd.”

“Shit…” I didn’t realize we were being that loud. And now I can see it, tabloid reports that I’m horrible and a diva and evil and just great. This is the last thing I need today. Now the crew is going to all hate me and say stuff. “Shit shit shit!” I pull at my teased hair and walk further into the trailer, pacing to the end and turning back around.

“Meredith…”

I don’t look at him but walk back towards him as I pace. “They want me to kiss him.”

“What?”

I sigh and turn back and pace back again. “That model guy. You know how you were just gonna sit in the club and sing your part? Well they have this whole story line where I’m like with this one guy who’s bad and then I see this model guy they got named Victor and he’s so nice and so sweet, but they want me to like make out with him. Angie says it’s just a kiss, but it’s not Justin. Not to me. If I was single, I’d be fine with it. But I’m with you and it’s not fair!”

“Come here…” He walks past me and sits down on the couch there. It’s low to the ground and insanely uncomfortable and for a moment he looks too lanky and big for it. I just keep walking, though. I have to do something, I just can’t sit there and expect everything to be better. I…I just have to keep moving. I walk back and he reaches and grabs my wrist and then my hips and pulls me down. “Mere, come here.” It shocks me and pisses me off for just a moment but when I realize he’s holding me all the anger I’ve felt that day washes away. He pulls me into him and moves so he’s laying on the couch and I’m there lying on him. He kisses my forehead and then my lips for a moment. “Calm down.”

I do immediately and lean my head against his chest. He’s amazing. He’s like a drug that just soothes and cleanses and makes everything better. No, not a drug, he’s like a day at the spa! That’s what I need. Maybe Courtney and I will go in the next few days. I think she could use a spa day and maybe I’ll get the chance to talk about what’s been up with her. The past week has been fantastic for me and Justin. We’ve spent almost every day together and almost every night. We fit, ya know. We just click. I can tell he feels at ease with me and I feel the same with him. We’re comfortable around each other. I don’t feel like I’m with ‘Justin Timberlake’. I feel like I’m just with this great guy that makes me feel wonderful who I happen to be in love with.

It’s true. I’m in love with him now. There’s no going back. Last night proved that.

I sit up for a moment and resituate myself because his belt buckle is hurting my hip. I’m just in little gym shorts and a tee cause I know most of the clothes I wear for today will be horribly uncomfortable. I lie back down and look into his eyes. “I didn’t know Angie was going to be here today. She’s a good manager, but she makes me nervous ‘cause I feel like I have to be on point with her and I was so sleepy this morning.”

He frowns for a moment and runs his hand down my arm. “I kept you up too late last night.”

I shake my head. Never should he regret that. Last night, last night was something, beautiful I would call it. I was being a tease like normal and persuaded him to get in the pool with me. We had made out so much that week and fooled around a bit that I didn’t have a problem taking off my bra in front of him and he clearly didn’t have a problem either. We ended up naked, swimming around together at dusk. I don’t know. I guess it’s a little silly for me to get all worked up over seeing him naked and him getting to see me that way. He does have a nice body though. God, more than nice, like perfect and everything. It was a big step for us and, well it was nice and in my mind, so fucking romantic. It wasn’t like we were humping on the cement by the pool or furiously trying to get the other one off. In fact, we didn’t even try to do that. We just swam around and he let me hold onto his back and float around with him. We got in a splash war but I dunked him a little too fast and he got water in his nose so we stopped and I sat in front of him in the shallow in by the steps and we kissed. And then we got out.

We wrapped ourselves up in these huge towels he has and sat out on the deck and talked. He didn’t push, he didn’t ask for anything more than just my company. Something about that made me feel so good. I mean, I want to have sex with him badly, but it’s still a little hard for me to read him at times. And up until last night I was still a little unsure if all this was just a front he was putting on to get in my pants. But now I know where he stands. He wants me more than just for sex or because he thinks I look hot next to him. He actually likes me and likes talking to me and spending time with me. We talked about our families, about our pasts, about what we want in the future. We talked until three in the morning about how long we want to stay in the spotlight, if we want a family, if we want another type of career, what we want out of this relationship. I could tell he wasn’t sure if he loved me, or that if he was he was a little scared to tell me. But he did say he saw a future, a long one and, and he said that I’m the best thing that’s come his way in a long, long time.

We kissed, a lot. I know it wasn’t more than an hour but it seemed like longer. We kissed each other and we were naked except for the towel. He held on to my body. It was romantic and it was sexy and it was intimate. And, and I honestly can say that I haven’t ever really experienced that type of feeling, that type of intensity without having, ya know, sex. I don’t know, maybe that’s stupid. Maybe I’m getting too over my head. We slept beside each other naked and he didn’t push. Actually I think he was too tired to ask for anything more and so was I.

But last night was special. It made me realize how far I’d gone, how much I was in love.

And that’s why today has been such a pain. ‘Cause I’m not ready to put that love in question, not for anyone.

“No…I don’t regret that at all.” I kiss him. I kiss him deeply and pull away, happy that it makes him smile. “And Courtney was a mess this morning. I’ve never seen her so disorganized. Pretty much my damn hairdresser, Shanda, she’s kept everything together.”

He’s quiet for a moment and looks deep in thought. He licks his lips, sucks in a breath and says quietly, “You can kiss the guy. I mean I won’t like it, but I understand. It’s not gonna make us fight.”

I sigh and shake my head. I wish he could be the guy I kiss in the video. “But I don’t want to, Justin. I want to kiss you.”

His grin is lopsided and he pats my butt for a moment. “I’m right here.”

I laugh and shake my head at him. “On camera.”

“Kinky.” He wiggles his eyebrows and it makes me laugh. It’s amazing how five minutes ago I was stressed out, my heart was pumping and I was on the verge of screaming, and now I’m calm, relaxed, thinking about how taking a nap with him would be wonderful.

“No, I mean…we worked on this song together, it’s our little project and now we’re together and it just fits so right. It just seems wrong for me to be in a video making out with some random dude while you just sit on the sidelines. I just don’t see why I have to even kiss anyone, ya know? Why can’t I just dance?” He smiles at me and nods and I lean up to kiss him for a moment. I’m glad he understands. I was honestly afraid that he’d tell me it wasn’t a big deal, that I should just kiss the guy and stop pissing everyone off. But he didn’t say that, he seems to stand by me.

He’s staring at me, or rather staring off just a bit from my face. He reaches a hand up and he pats my head. He laughs, “What the hell is up with your hair?”

I pout and put my head down against his shoulder trying to pull the mess away from him. It’s kind of sticky from the gel and crap she put in it and it’s huge. Good thing my hair is pretty long already or instead of just having big hair I’d look like I have an afro. “I don’t know. I feel like a lion.”

“You look cute.”

“That’s the outfit I’m gonna wear.” I point to this thing hanging up on the rack in the corner. The trailer is small and thin, but it goes back a pretty far way. The outfit is this sequin scarf strap thing with tight hot pants. It’s skanky, but it’ll look hot in the video during my dance part. I need to go talk to Darrell about that one dance move and see if I should change it to the newer one we were talking about a few days ago when we met up for practice. He’s probably getting some hot extra’s number right now. Player.

“Damn.” He pushes himself up a bit and breathes out the word, staring at the cloth.

“I know. Isn’t it enough that I’m wearing practically just a scarf glued to certain parts of my body? They shouldn’t need a kiss. And I know I sound like a ten year old Justin with me whining about kissing some boy. But it’s not really just about that. It’s about for my whole damn career everyone has told me what to do. Told me to go to this interview, do this video this way, make this song this way. I mean I wrote a little on my new album but it was mainly just other people.”

He pulls me up against his body as he sits up now and says to me, “You wrote with me.”

I blush a little and say to him, “I never told you this, but that was the first time I ever wrote music. Like besides just little verses and melodies in my head or at home on the piano. I had never written it down or made something of it.”

“Really?”

I shrug. “I thought I sucked. And I think everyone else does, too. They just see a pretty face and a decent voice.”

“You’re voice is more than decent. And you’re beautiful.”

I stick my tongue out at him, “You have to say that, you’re my boyfriend.” He laughs and rolls his eyes at me. I sigh and move a little off him and he does the same, moving to sit up on the couch. His belt is really uncomfortable today. I’d ask him to take it off, but that might seem awkward if someone comes in. I put my legs in his lap and he runs his hands over them. “I’m just tired of doing what everyone else tells me to. I know they know more than me and know what’ll sell most. But, just this once I wanna step my foot down.”

“But you gotta be careful doing that, ok? I want you to branch out. I know you got talent, Mere. You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t. But these people do know what they are doing, and you step your foot down too much and they might not like it and they might turn their back.”

“I don’t wanna be controlled Justin.” I sigh and lean in and put my arms around his neck again. It just feels go good to do that. “I wanna be like you and just do whatever the hell I want.”

“Oh girl, they tell me what to do.” He laughs and I pull away and stick out my tongue.

“You just don’t listen.”

A grin forms on his lips. “Sometimes my ears get stopped up.”

I shake my head and touch his face. He didn’t shave this morning, lazy bum. His face is rough to the surface but he looks damn sexy. His sunglasses are still on his head and I pull them off and sit them down on top of the magazines there. I’m glad he hasn’t noticed them yet. “You make it all better.”

I kiss him deeply and he pulls away after a moment, laughing.

“Your hair is tripping me out.”

“Shut up!” I smack his shoulder.

A moment passes while I just watch him. He’s thinking and I pull away just a bit and give him a weird look. “I got an idea…” He says quickly and then sighs. “But I’m gonna have to run it by my people first.”

“You have people?”

He pinches my side lightly and smiles. “Yeah, oompa loompas.”

“I want one!”

“What if you kissed me?”

I smile at him, I don’t know what he means but I like the way his eyes are looking at me. “Right now?”

He sucks in a breath and whispers, “Yes…” I kiss him hard. Yeah, I’m trying to turn him on ‘cause Justin, well, he’s sexy all the time but when you get it in his brain and make him a little excited he’s…deadly. But he pulls away quickly, laughing a bit and he pushes himself up a smidge. “…and then what if you kissed me in your video. What if I was the good guy?”

I stare at him. He’s serious about this. He’s serious about being in my video, like not just a little bonus cameo. “I love it.” I sigh. “But what about Victor?”

He bites his lip and then says, “Can he play the bad guy? Who was the bad guy to begin with?”

“Well they weren’t really gonna show him. It’s just this big man in a suit. I seriously think they pulled one of the security cops around this lot into the shoot. They weren’t gonna show his face much. It was only gonna be one clip and then me and hottie Russian boy were supposed to dance and then run through this hallway and stairwell all hot and heavy and then make out at the end. I don’t remember it all. I blocked out after they said, “then you two make out.”

He grins at me again and slides down a bit so that I’m hovering above him. He runs his hands over my sides and to my hips. “Would you mind kissing me on camera?”

I pout at him and lean my body against him in all the right places just to see what he’d do. “You wanna make a sex tape and sell it, don’t you?”

“You weren’t supposed to know!” He moves his hands down to my ass and pushes me into him, kissing me strongly. These are different from the kisses from last night. Last night they were slow and gentle. He’s fucking swallowing me now and I see that he’s got himself a little worked up with all this kissing and camera talk. Little pervert, little fucking sexy pervert.

“Mere, I’m sorry…” I hear and pull back quickly and look to the door. Damn, we always get interrupted. I laugh, though. Shanda’s got her head peeped in the door but a hand is covering her eyes. “We gotta come back in, Marc wants to talk. So put on your clothes and put away all the toys.”

I laugh and tell her to come in after I pull myself off Justin. He wipes at his mouth and readjusts his jeans and tries to play everything off with a yawn. Silly boy. I grin at Shanda when she finally walks in and she rolls her eyes at me.

“Are you ok? I’m hearing rumors…”

I look to the door and see that Shanda wasn’t the only one coming in but now there’s a convoy of people. All I can really see is Teddy, in front of me, a little out of breath. “Don’t believe them Teddy. They’re all lies.”

He blows a deep breath, making his lips vibrate and then he narrows his eyes at me with a smile. “Like the one about you and horses?”

“Oh no, that one’s true.”

“You two…” I roll my eyes, I didn’t realize Angie had come in. She can’t stand it when Teddy and I joke.

But even she gets interrupted by another voice and Teddy moves out of the way and towards the door. I see Marc approaching. He has a bit of a worried look about him and takes a seat in my make up chair and leans forward. “We gotta make a decision here, Meredith. I don’t have a lot of time to waste. I only have so many shots I can do without you.”

“Well what if we changed up the idea a bit,” I say. He opens his mouth to speak but Justin leans forward. It’s amazing to watch him change from the simple quiet guy that I love to this: business man in charge, knowing he can change anyone’s mind to get what he wants.

Fuck, it’s sexy.

“What if I’m the hero guy, what do you think about that idea? Wouldn’t that cause a stir? And Victor…that’s his name, right? He can be the bad guy and maybe that can give the bad character more of a presence…”

“Oh…” Marc thinks for a moment and leans back, nodding and then he looks at us, smiles and waves his hand. “See I thought you two were trying to play it off all cool like you weren’t really together.” He winks.

“That’s what everyone would expect, right?” I smile when Justin says that. Yay, I’m doing something crazy in my career that’s gonna ‘cause heads to turn but it’s not fake and its not in a magazine! It’s my actual work. This is exciting and I love Justin for pulling this together for me and making me excited to work today. “Plus…” Justin winks at him. “Who said we’re together?”

“I love it.” Marc laughs, “If you guys think its cool that’s fine. I’ll have to run it by some of the crew and talk to Victor and make sure he’s cool with it but I think it’ll be great. I love it.”

“Well I don’t love it.”

I groan and see she’s still there, leaning against the counter with her arms over her chest. “It’s not your decision, Angie.”

“Can I talk to you alone?”

It’s silent in the trailer and then Teddy starts to go, “oooo…” Justin laughs and does the same then Shanda chimes in and I narrow my eyes and storm over to her and past her. “Are you gonna put me in detention?”

I storm out of the trailer being flooded by sunlight. A few people look at me and I just roll my eyes and turn when I go down the steps in between the other trailer that is close to mine. I stand there and cross my arms and wait for Angie to come bitch me out. “Come here…” I look over and see her standing there. She has a sad look on her face. I just glare at her. “Look…” She sighs and runs a hand through her hair. “Shit Mere, you know I don’t wanna do this. I hate fighting with you. But I’ve known you too long and I really don’t want you messing this up.”

“What would I mess up?”

She steps forward slowly and comes over to lean against the trailer across from me. “Don’t let him take over. Don’t let him make decisions for you and pull you away from where you need to be.”

“Well then who’s gonna make decision for me? Clearly I can’t make them myself.”

She runs a hand over her face. I get a good look at her and for a moment I feel bad. She does look like hell, like she’s had more work to do and no time to do it. “I’m not trying to be a slave driver.”

“I know, I know you’re just doing your job.” I suck in a breath and realize I need to be a big girl about all this. “I’m sorry I yelled earlier. I’m just tired and stressed out and…Angie...” I whine for a moment and move so that I’m leaning right beside her. This is what I need. I need the manager who’s more like a friend. “Like I have a boyfriend, now. I know it’s the worst thing ever for a career besides a baby, but…it’s life. I’m sorry. I’m not just a robot. I can’t just shut myself off and go into auto-pilot.”

She puts her arm around my shoulders and says, “You know I’m happy for you, right?”

I nod. She’s been with me for three years. She’s put up with all my drama, all my shit and she knows me very well. I don’t get to see her as much as I use to. She’s not around as much and even though she sometimes makes my nerves frayed, I am glad she’s here to make everything run smoothly. “Angie, I’m not mad at you.”

“And I’m not mad at you.” She shakes her head and laughs. “In fact the label will just eat this up, you two together in this video. And I’ll just change my voicemail to say no comment to any question about you because I’ll be getting calls from everyone I’m sure. I’ve already been getting calls from every magazine under the sun.” She rolls her eyes and I smile at her.

“And you don’t have to say anything else.”

“Have you guys discussed this? Like the press part.”

I nod. It’s one of the things we talked about last night about how we want to handle the press. I guess being in a video together all hot and heavy kind of goes back on some of the stuff we said about keeping our life and work separate, but I think if we consider this just a business collaboration then it’ll be fine. What the hell am I talking about? I’m going on that set and I’m gonna get to dance and kiss with my boyfriend, fuck the media, fuck what people think. It’s what I wanna do.

“We’re not gonna discuss each other except on a professional level.”

“Like that’ll last.” She says sarcastically and rolls her eyes.

“I don’t have another interview until the MTV awards, that’s like two or three weeks away. So I won’t have to worry about it until then, ok?”

She pauses for a moment and stares at me. “Does he treat you ok?”

“He’s fucking wonderful.”

“Why’d it have to be Justin Timberlake?” I laugh, I know what she means. If it had just been anyone else off the street or some other minor celebrity it wouldn’t be a big deal, but hooking up with Justin isn’t just hooking up with him. It’s hooking up with all the fame and the press and hype and everything else that surrounds his image. But I’m ready for that, I don’t care. I’ll deal with that and much more if it means I get to be with him. “Have you been with him all this time?”

“Just since I went to New York.”

“But not since you recorded?”

I shake my head. It’s the truth, but in a way it’s a bit of a fib ‘cause my mind’s been with him since then and so has my heart. I guess it’s a little pathetic and girly and cheesy, but I don’t think there’s been a day gone by that I haven’t thought of him since I met him. “No…”

“Why don’t you tell me this stuff?”

I laugh and give her a small side hug for a moment. “’Cause it makes you nervous and you’re too busy to worry about my piddle diddle.”

She smiles at me and I’m thankful. It’s the first smile I’ve seen from her in a while. “I’m going to go call Sony.”

“Tell them I’m not taking no for an answer.” I laugh and start to walk away from her, knowing I’ve already pushed back the schedule and people are gonna be more pissed if I don’t get this thing done. I’m ready to work, I’m ready to do this.

“Ok, boss.” She laughs.

I watch her pull out her phone and walk back from in between the trailers before running up the steps to mine and swinging open the door. “Yay!”

“Are you in trouble?”

I shake my head at him and do a stupid little dance that makes him laugh. “Nope.”

“Hey…” I stop and look up. Shanda points to the chair with a brush. “Get your ass over here.”

I plop down and she swings me around and retouches up my hair for a moment before starting to work on make up. “When does she get to put on the sparkly thing?”

I laugh and see him come over and sit up against the counter, smiling at me and swinging his legs underneath him so that the back of his sneakers hit the cabinet there. Shanda works on putting a powder on my face and pulls away and eyes him carefully, “What’s with you and girls with just sparkles on? Some kind of fetish?”

“Oooo…” I laugh, thinking back on that little outfit his ex-girlfriend wore during some performance. I remember watching that and thinking I could do so much better than her. Now I realize that I was being ridiculous and had so much work to do at the time. But I’ve done my work and now, now I’m climbing the top and my dreams are coming true and I have a great man by my side to see me to the top. Life’s good, real good and this morning I forgot that for a bit and I need to make sure I keep my blessings at the front of my mind.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…” He clears his thought a bit embarrassed and points to my head before looking at Shanda, “What’s with that nappy hair? Some kind of fetish?”

I giggle.

“Mr. Timberlake…” She pulls away and gives him a sack load of attitude. Shanda’s great, she always makes me laugh. “We haven’t officially been introduced, but this is what we call Diva Hair. And don’t act like you ain’t never seen it. I’ve been around this business. I remember the ‘Nsync Fro.”

“Ahhh, the fro!” I point to him and laugh. Oh god, the memories of being a senior in high school flood me. “I use to love JC back then.”

“Hey!” He pouts at me and I smile and turn the chair a bit, slip off my flip flops and push my feet up against the counter by him wiggling my toes.

“Rub my feet.”

Justin’s mouth drops and he looks at Shanda for a minute before scooting over and picking up my foot and putting pressure in the center of it. He better not tickle me. “Man, she’s bossy today.”

“Tell me about it.” Shanda finishes putting on my foundation and then works for a moment on my eyes. I love how fast she is with everything. It’s almost like she can wave her magic wand and I immediately look stylish. She’ll add a little more after I get my outfit on. “You ready to change?”

“Yup…” I nod.

“Excuse us, Justin.”

I shake my head and say, “He can stay.”

“Oh…” Shanda laughs and goes over to the rack and pulls off the scarf outfit. I hope I can wear panties. I hate it when she puts me in things that are so tight I can’t wear underwear. I always feel like a hooker like that. “Y’all all like that now, all right. That’s cool.” She comes back over and I take off my top and smack Justin’s hand when he says something about helping me out of the rest of my clothes. I point to him and then the couch. He pouts and goes and lays down on it. “Ya know with me and you and Justin in here by ourselves I bet there’s gonna be a rumor that we’re having a threesome.”

“Let’s make sex noises!” I exclaim and watch as Justin covers his face with his hand.

“You’re such a tease.”

I smile at him and throw my bra at him after I take it off. I turn around but realize I’m not really covering myself with the mirror right there. He smiles at me and I look at him through the mirror. “Oh you just wait ‘til we get out on set, baby.”

“Ok ok, enough!” Shanda comes over and turns me so I’m facing Justin and then puts herself in between me and his line of sight. “Let me put this on you before you guys rip it off.”

It’s amazing how relaxed it is, how we all just talk and Justin lays there until Trace knocks and tells him he needs to get ready. Apparently when I was having my conversation with Angie he had made all the calls he needed and Johnny and Jive thought it was a great idea. When he leaves Shanda gives me a hug and tells me she’s happy for me, which is weird ‘cause Shanda isn’t all that affectionate. She’s girly and we have a great time together but I don’t know if she’s ever just out of the blue hugged me like that. And it makes me realize that no matter what Angie was saying this morning, and no matter how much press and tabloid rumors come out, being with Justin is not a bad thing. In fact there’s nothing bad about it at all.