Off the coast of Key West, 2:15 p.m.

I’m thankful that the water is relatively calm today and that we’ve anchored close to shore, near this vacant little cove and not out in the open. I knew when Meredith dropped the bomb on me last night, at one in the morning, right before I was going to bed, right when I realized that during her radio interview Justin had been napping in her bed all night and now he was shuffling to the kitchen in just a pair of gym shorts, that it would be a really, really bad time to tell her I get seasick. She was so excited. She jumped down on the couch beside me beaming. I had found out much earlier in the day, by accidentally walking in on some major make out session they were having, that they had made up. In fact, I don’t think either of them realized I came in so I didn’t say anything and just left quietly. But she had remained pretty calm during her radio interview and as soon as it was over she ran back upstairs. When she came to me last night she was acting well, she was glowing. It was as if she got laid.

It was presumptuous for me to think so and even bolder for me to ask her, but I did. I had been put in charge of keeping her healthy and in line. The healthy part I didn’t think would be that big of a deal. Apparently about a year ago, after she had been on tour and been going non-stop for a little more than 280 days, she had had a minor collapse and had to be hospitalized for exhaustion. But she seems pretty good about maintaining her hydration and sleep now a days. As long as there isn’t a certain shaved head, blue-eyed boy wonder lurking about. And it was him barely dressed and her with a glow on her face that made me have to ask. I didn’t know if she was on birth control and assumed she wasn’t since I had never seen a patch on her skin or seen her take any pills. I know she’s an only child and more and more I’m starting to feel like a purchased big sister.

She blushed immediately when I asked and whispered, “not yet” to me and then giggled, jumped up and ran over to hug Justin from behind. “Justin’s got tomorrow free so we’re all gonna go snorkeling!”

To begin with, when I was helping her plan this trip, I knew it was something she wanted to do. I had even booked the small flight from Miami to Key West, looked up the best snorkeling guide I could find and rented a yacht. I never assumed she’d want me to go. I thought it would be some romantic fling with just her and Justin. And now that she was inviting me I knew trouble was peeking its head out. I knew snorkeling would mean boats and boats would mean rocking and rocking would mean seasick. But to see her there hugging him, blissfully happy as he chugged a glass of milk, made it impossible for me to be able to tell her no. I could have easily told her I didn’t want to go, but I knew that would cause a fuss. Lately, it’s seemed that she had latched onto me. Ever since we landed in LA she would say, “Courtney, help me with this. Can you do this?” And if I told her I really needed to be doing something else she would beg. And normally all the tasks she wanted me to do were for both of us, not just for me to go do by myself. It was almost as if now, now she really liked my company.

And that is a strange thing.

I figured if she was going to be nice and Justin kept her occupied and a certain man with a deep southern accent kept a decent distance away from me and my temper, I’d be fine and maybe even have fun. As long as I didn’t puke the whole way.

And I am glad I came. I’ve improved my tan, drastically and this new Candace Bushnell book is pretty good. Of course Trace has already commented on it being a chick book and asked me to let him know when I got to the hot sex scenes. He wants me to read them out loud. He’s such a perverted little man. Cute, charming when he wants to be, but absolutely ridiculous when it comes to some of the things he dares to say to me.

But right now nothing is talking to me except the sounds of the sea lapping against the yacht, a few gulls in the air, and the words of the book. All three of them went in the water, snorkeling with some guru we picked up. Layden, is his name, I think. The man looked a little too old and a little too high to really know what he was doing. Apparently he’s the best, though. And well, they’ve been gone for almost an hour. I hope they haven’t drowned. The yacht itself is insanely nice. Sometimes I forget, even though I was the one to book it and I signed the bill for Meredith, that I really do work in this business for celebrities. Before, sure I worked for an insanely rich man, but he wasn’t famous. He got perks but not the ones that someone gets when everyone else knows them. Adding Justin to the mix just makes those perks heighten. Like this morning, when we went to a local breakfast café after waking up at dawn to fly here. The service was impeccable and though there was a bill, I peeked over Trace’s shoulder and saw that it wasn’t nearly as high as it should have been for the type of food we were getting. And they brought us out a few things we didn’t order, just as a complimentary thing.

And this yacht. Not only is it huge and fit for a king, it’s stocked with supplies. There’s a nice living area inside with a plasma TV. There’s all sorts of beach supplies and tons of food, fresh fruit and cheeses and gourmet crackers. There’s all sorts of drinks, wine and champagne, beer and soda. I rolled my eyes at that, like anyone needs to be drinking that shit on a yacht, in the gulf, when its 85 degrees outside. Of course I already over heard Justin saying that if they didn’t get eaten by sharks they’d unpop a bottle.

Meredith proceeded to scream about sharks and they had a hard time getting her in the water. Justin threw her in and then Trace pushed him in. I laughed, it was funny. But Justin’s attitude towards me hasn’t been funny. It’s not really that he’s mean or rude, he just all together ignores me. He hasn’t said a word to me. He talks with Trace and Teddy and Tiny and hell, even the guy steering this boat, but not me. I mean I know I was a hard ass that past week, but I was nice enough to let him in the house yesterday.

That was really the only time I got a sense that he even saw me or cared that I was there. I opened the door and he was pitiful looking. He really has that pout down perfectly. I told him where her room was and then watched him take a breath, walk to the steps, look up at them and then quietly run up them. Trace scooted through the doorway with two large duffel bags on each shoulder and commented that Tiny would be arriving soon with the rest of their stuff.

I knew the plan was for Justin to stay over, but I didn’t know that meant the long haul. Trace was so convinced that Meredith would take him back before Justin had even come over that he checked out of their hotel and assumed they could all shack up with us.

Thankfully there are enough bedrooms. With Justin and Meredith sharing a bed and one of the rooms having twin beds and two other smaller bedrooms, one up stairs and one down, it’s been pretty decent. I have the bedroom downstairs and it has access directly to the back porch and I like that. But I can’t say I don’t feel a little awkward sharing a house with four other grown men and only one other female, a female who seems to bask in the masculine presence. She soaks up the attention and they are happy to give it to her.

Like today, when she took off her top and her shorts to reveal one of the smallest little white bikinis I’ve ever seen. I shook my head. White, she better hope there’s enough padding or that thing is gonna be see-through when she gets out of the water. When she revealed her bathing suit, everyone’s eyes were on her. Even the old hippie snorkeling guy and the boat driver. Trace and Tiny were staring at her and even Teddy, who’s always called her ‘lil sis. And there was Justin. I almost laughed at the poor guy. He looked about ready to pass out.

Meredith might play off the innocent, sweet, southern girl card, but she knew what she was doing when she picked that out to wear. And I guess I was looking, too. Of course I wasn’t fantasizing about her. I was comparing because that’s what us girls pathetically do to each other. It’s what’s kept me pulling down on the tank part of my suit all day and kept the sarong around my waist. I’ve never really been body conscious. I don’t eat crap and I run around enough to burn off any crap I do eat. But it’s still intimidating as hell to be on this yacht with one of the most sought out bachelors in the world with his best friend and two large bodyguards and have this girl be able to casually walk around with barely anything on, completely comfortable with herself and her surroundings. Her body is trained to be that fit and that good looking and it can make even a girl like me, a girl who’s never really cared about what other people think or at least has tried not to, be self conscious and closed off. It doesn’t help that she’s naturally pretty either. She’s the all-American girl, but with dark features so she looks a little exotic. That kind of shit guys just eat up. I find it a little annoying.

I know I should be more enthusiastic and talk more with them. But they’re all into this outdoorsy adventure stuff. I’m content with sitting here, smelling like banana boat and reading chick lit. By myself.

I hear a splash and pull my sunglasses down just a bit and sit up. I dog-ear the book and set it down. I look off to the side of the front of the boat where I’m laying and see someone in the water and then a head pops out and a squirt of water hits me in the face. “What the…”

I hear laughter and move before Trace does some hand squirting motion and water flies towards me again. “Come on in, girl!” I want to laugh at him. He’s got those horrible looking snorkeling goggles, the ones with the breathing tube, on the top of his head. He floats on his back for a second and I notice he has on feet flippers. He looks pathetically silly in those things and I can’t help but smile.

“I’m not a big water fan, thanks though.”

“Come on, Court. It’s fun! I saw Nemo!”

I blink and then notice near Trace Meredith is holding onto Justin’s back as he treads and swims around. Neither of them have on any snorkeling gear. It’s funny how she says she saw Nemo just like a five year old. Sometimes she shocks me with maturity other times she’s just…well, still very high school. I don’t blame her, though. She hasn’t really had to grow up yet. I guess the business can harden people to an extent, but she dropped out of college almost halfway and it’s my belief that you really don’t mature until college is over and the workplace begins. The normal 9-5 work day never applies to Meredith. It’s either an abnormally 6-past midnight, or not a workday at all.

“That’s ok. My book is just getting good.”

“We might have to come out for story time, then.” I roll my eyes when I hear Trace’s voice. “Any good, hot, hard core sex action yet?”

I just laugh and hear Meredith yell a shocked, “what?” before going back to my little seat, settling in and opening up my book again. I guess it’s great that they all seem so happy. I don’t know any of them that well. Even though I’ve spent pretty much every waking hour with Meredith for the past two weeks. I still feel like she’s guarded to some extent. Maybe its not really like she’s guarded, but she definitely doesn’t look at me like Justin looks at Trace. Most of the time I feel more like a babysitter than an assistant, more like a sister than a friend, and even then a sister that only recently was forced to connect with her. Even here, with everyone around, Justin and Trace who are my age, and her only a year or two younger than me and with 35 year old bodyguards hanging out at the back of the boat, I still feel like a babysitter, like an outsider. I feel like it’s my responsibility to keep everything in line and running smoothly. I can’t have fun like them. I guess I’m the one that’s guarded, not her.

And I know it’s my fault and my own doings that I feel that way, but I really don’t know what to do to stop. I feel, I don’t know, maybe matronly or something, sitting here with a chick book, wearing a sarong and drinking an iced tea while the three of them splash around like children.

I’m only 25. What the hell happened to me to make me age ten years or more?

Oh, right…Keith.

I sigh and take a sip from my drink, really wishing I had brought my cigarettes with me. But I really need to quit. I’ve been trying for a while now, but every time I go about a week without them I fall back into the habit. It doesn’t help that I can smell someone smoking on this boat, that sweet dense smell of tobacco. I don’t know who it is, but it’s making me a little crazy right now. I sit up and turn around hoping to discover who it is and hoping to bum a cig off of them.

It’s Trace. He’s got the flippers still on his feet and a towel around his bare neck and a cigarette dangling from his lips.

“Bring me a beer, J.”

I try to ignore him for my own sake of hoping I won’t become desperate and ask him where he got that cigarette. I pull my book up and pretend to read furiously and forget about the smell that’s lingering around me. A nice sea breeze comes through but it doesn’t help. I can hear his flippers flapping towards me.

“Hey.”

And I realize why. He’s now standing right over me. I peer down from the book and smile at him smugly before pulling the book back up. “Hi.”

“Can I sit wit cha?”

I don’t comment and I can sense movement near me. I look to my right, just glancing and notice him smiling at me, with that pathetic, stupid little smile he gives. “Gotten to a good part I see,” he says and takes off his flippers.

“No, I’m not reading. I’m trying to forget that you have a cigarette in your hand.”

“Want one?” I now notice that he has a pack in his hand and a small ashtray that he sets between us.

“I’m trying to quit.”

“So am I.” He laughs and pulls out a Marlboro for me. I shouldn’t be taking it.

“Here man.” I notice another shadow and Justin is standing there with two beers and a glass of champagne. He hands Trace the beer. And then sighs, takes a swig from the other bottle and then extends the glass to me. “Mere told me to give you this.”

“I have tea.” I know that’s such a lame thing to say. Right now I should just take it and say thank you and hopefully get him on my good side. But it just came out that way. I cringe a little because I know that his eyes narrowed behind his sunglasses.

“Just take it.” He all but throws it at me and a little bit of the bubbly drink spills on my thigh. I wipe it up as he walks away and disappears behind the side of the boat.

I’m sitting here trying to get situated with now two drinks, a book, and this sarong thing. I should just take it off. My towel keeps getting bunched up behind me and that’s annoying me beyond belief.

“Want your smoke or not?”

I groan and finally get everything situated before looking over at Trace and seeing him holding out the pack to me, squinting in the bright sun. I sigh and take one. “You’re a bad influence.”

“You like it, though.” He’s smiling as he lights it for me and it immediately takes the edge off any anxiety I was having. I don’t know why I would be anxious, but now I can feel the tobacco calming me down. Sometimes I don’t understand myself. “I’ll be back, I gotta piss.” I look as he stands up, his cigarette dangling from his lips as he holds his flippers in one hand and his beer in the other. The towel is still around his neck.

“Thanks for sharing.” I say, blowing a stream of smoke away from him.

“Don’t miss me too much. You better have picked out the good sexy scenes when I get back. I need a naptime story.”

I laugh and watch him walk away, “Perv.”

“You love it.” He laughs too and sticks his tongue out at me and I can’t help but smile. He annoys the shit out of me, but sometimes he seems to know just what to do to help me relax. Most other times he’s making my blood pressure and my stomach ulcers increase to new levels of obnoxiousness.

I hate to admit that I actually had a nice time with him when we went out to dinner, but I did. Of course most of that had to do with the fact that he all but forced me to drink a bottle of wine. By the end of the night I was happy and not much could change that. But when he’s not being a royal asshole, he’s not that bad. I think he just doesn’t know how to deal with a woman like me. A woman that won’t put up with his shit and won’t just jump in bed with him because his best friend is the hottest celebrity around. Justin’s not even that attractive.

I mean he’s not ugly, but…

“What was that?”

I cough and notice a very tanned, scantily clad brunette plopping down beside me. “Excuse me?” I ask.

She smiles behind her sunglasses and then unscrews a bottle of water and takes a sip. Maybe the girl has more sense than I give her credit for, drinking water instead of alcohol in the hot sun. “Flirting with Trace?”

Well, maybe she doesn’t have that much sense. “I highly doubt that. He’s annoying.”

She’s quiet for a moment and I remain lying back against the lounger. She just stares at me. I would ask her what’s the matter, but if its one thing I’ve learned about her in the past few weeks, when Meredith is staring, she’s thinking about something and its best just to let her do her thing. “I didn’t know you smoked. I mean I thought so, but I’ve never seen you do it.”

I laugh and flick off some of the ash into the tray Trace left. “Well, you caught me.” I start to cough a bit and know I shouldn’t be doing this. I reach for my tea but come in contact with the glass of champagne first.

“Isn’t it good?” She says as I touch the glass.

“I haven’t tried it yet.” I bypass the flute and go to my iced tea. I put a piece of aluminum over the top of the cup so that the ice wouldn’t melt and it’s worked pretty well. I was just surprised they had aluminum foil on this boat. It’s stocked like a regular house and I’m waiting for Meredith to squeal about how much she wants to live here yet.

“Do you like fish? ‘Cause Justin was thinking about grilling out tonight, maybe some shrimp and some type of fish. I don’t remember what kind he said.”

I nod and figure I won’t tell her I’m not the biggest seafood fan. I finally cross that barrier in my mind and tell myself to put down the cigarette and stub it out. I do, but take a big swallow from the champagne in response. She’s right. It is good. “Yeah that’s fine. Did you have fun?”

“It was so pretty underwater.” She finally moves to lean down against the lounger that Trace was in and stretches her arms above her head. “I wish you had come with us. You need to be more apart of the group.”

“The group?”

“Yeah the four of us. I feel like you wanna be left out. And we want to include you. I hope you don’t feel like I’m trying to leave you out. ‘Cause if I am, I really don’t mean to.”

I take in a breath. I know she’s been trying to include me. So yeah, she gets wrapped up in Justin every now and then, but I can say that she hasn’t ignored me. Not like in New York. In fact, she all but begged me before to get in the water with them. She almost convinced me but then when they started talking about sharks she was distracted and I was given a reason not to go in. “I just needed some alone relaxation and I’m not a big water fan. I can get seasick easily.”

Her mouth drops a little bit and she sits up. “Why didn’t you tell me? We could have just hung at the beach all day.”

“Meredith, stop it. It’s fine. I’m having fun.”

“Ok…” I know she’s not convinced, but the truth is I am having fun. I mean, I’m relaxed and my book is good and the tea is good and everything’s great. Just perfect. I hear her sigh and see her sitting up again and staring off behind us somewhere. She starts to smile a little bit when I hear Justin’s deep, distinctive laugh. I turn to look and he’s just by the railing looking out over the ocean with Layden, and taking long sips from his bottle of beer. She continues to stare at him and I just go back to my book, letting her do her thing. But before I can start reading again I hear, “Court, I think I’m in love.” I just look at her. “Like seriously.”

“I know.” I clear my throat and take another sip from that champagne flute, even though I know I shouldn’t. “You’re being careful, right?”

“We haven’t had sex, yet. I told you that the other night.”

“I know, but…” I sigh. I don’t want to have this conversation with her. I don’t want to make her mad. But, to me it just seems like she’s going into this so blindly. Does she not even remember the scream fest she had the other day, the crying? She was hysterical. And I know she can be dramatic, but this was different. She was seriously wounded by whatever it was he did or said to her. I just don’t understand why she took him back so easily. As far as I can see, he’s not as great as everyone else makes him out to be. “He fucked up, Mere. He really hurt you. If he does it again, I’m not gonna just be passive and let him come back in and win you back that easily.”

“Court…” She groans and looks at me. “I know what I’m doing. He was high and he wasn’t thinking and he’s really sorry. I know I sound like some pathetic girl right now, but I really believe him. I trust him. That, that thirty minutes that he went nuts and turned into a person I didn’t know, that was the only time I’ve seen him like that and well, just.” She shakes her head and says quickly, “I know what I’m doing, ok?”

That kind of makes me feel like she has no idea what she’s doing. “Please be careful. I don’t want you to get hurt in the middle of all your album stuff. It’s gonna be stressful enough as it is.”

“I know…” She nods and I notice now she’s still staring off into the distance. A small, giddy smile forms on her face and she bites her lip. I look back to see what’s so wonderful. He’s just standing there alone, his arms over the railing, his body bent a little as he looks out over the water by himself. I don’t know what’s got her so happy. “I need to ask you a favor.”

I’m almost afraid of what this is going to be. “What?”

“Well, so I told you we haven’t, ya know…yet.” How mature is that? She can’t even say the word ‘sex’ to me. “But we probably will soon, and I use to be on birth control but I stopped like three years ago when I broke up with Rex and I need to get an appointment with my gyno and I was hoping you could call for an appointment next week. I had planned to do it with him this week, but then all that crap happened and I realized that I need to be careful with this and I don’t like condoms so…”

I laugh. Man, she really does ramble. “I don’t need to know any more,” I say. What she does with him is definitely her business. And it’s not that I want to know all the details of her sex life. Maybe she assumes I do and that’s why she’s telling me all this. I am glad she’s thinking this through, though. The last thing we need is a little Timberbaby running around. And she doesn’t seem like the type of person that could handle the idea of an abortion. “Of course I can,” I say after a minute. “Just please be careful, Meredith. Not just about this sex stuff. Don’t just assume that ‘cause he told you some wonderful things and promised you he’d never do it again that he’s not going to hurt you. He’s still a guy and guys fuck up.”

“So do girls, Courtney. I fuck up all the time.” She laughs, but then stops and I notice now that she’s just staring at me, staring at me very, very hard. Oh no, what’s she thinking now? “Why are you such a man-hater?”

“I’m not.” I shrug, and pretend to read my book. I don’t hate men. I just don’t trust any of them.

“Yes you are…” She leans forward and touches my shoulder. “You were hurt bad, weren’t you?”

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” I almost shrug her off and get up and walk away. I don’t want to have this conversation and I pray, pray for a distraction. Where is Trace? It doesn’t take that long to pee.

“Mere…” I sigh and thank Justin silently in my head. “Come here…”

She stands up, adjusts her suit and then she bends down and grits out to me, “You better dish later.”

I watch her walk away and towards him. He has a huge beach towel around him and opens it up and she willingly hugs him and he wraps the towel around her. They kiss, a lot and I try not to stare but I can’t help it. It’s been a long, long time since I’ve experienced that, since I’ve had that look that’s on her face. I have to wonder if I was ever that giddy and girly with a man, if I ever let my guard down that much. Maybe that’s what ruined my last relationship. Maybe I didn’t let it down enough.

Or maybe I let it down too much.

There’s a lounge chair over by the railing and she squirms out of his hold and pulls on his hand to the chair. He immediately lays the towel on the lounger and plops down, stretching. She curls up beside him and I notice now how tiny she is compared to him. I pull on my top a bit and readjust my sarong. I really hope there’s no boats around here with paparazzi on them, ‘cause they are being more than affection. His hand is all over her back, traveling down a bit to barely touch her ass. She just holds on to him and lays her head down.

His kisses the top of her head and runs his fingers through her hair that’s still damp.

This is sick. And I don’t want to watch any more.

But even when I feel a presence lay down beside me, I can’t take my eyes away from them. I know it’s Trace, I can hear him clear his throat. But I don’t look away. “I know he’s your friend and all, but I can not believe she took him back that easily, that quickly.”

He just laughs. “Well, he was really sorry, Courtney. I told you she would.”

I look over at him and he’s nursing a beer. “But by the way she acted that day it was like he ripped her heart out.”

“Maybe he gave it back…gently.”

I laugh. He’s so ridiculous. “Oh shut up.”

He leans closer to me and says in a lower voice. “Maybe she’s just not closed off, Courtney. Maybe she’s willing to take that chance, to maybe get hurt, but maybe she thinks it’s worth it if she falls in love.”

I sigh and shake my head and stare at them. I think they’re both going to sleep, or nodding off in that direction. She hasn’t moved and he has one hand on her arm and the other on her back. “I think she already is, or at least she thinks she is.”

“So’s he. Though I’m sure he’s gonna have a harder time admitting it than her. Justin falls hard, Court, but he doesn’t do it easily. Ever since well…” He pauses and shakes his head. “He’s had enough hurt in his love life to make him very cautious. Maybe not as cautious as you…”

I cut my eyes from them to him. “Excuse me?”

“I didn’t say a thing.” He laughs and leans back completely in his chair.

“Oh my god, what?” I notice him looking me over. He’s still not wearing sunglasses but came back with a horrible looking straw hat. It looks like one of those golfing hats my dad use to wear.

“Nothing, you’re just...” His eyes pause at my legs and then darts his eyes back up at me. “…cute today.”

“Cute?” I can’t help but laugh. I laugh loud and hard and take a swallow from my champagne. “Hilarious.”

“Look, forget it.”

“I’d appreciate it if you’d stop coming on to me.”

I glance at him and he rolls his eyes and crosses his arms over his chest. I notice his tattoos. I’ve seen the one on his neck before, but now that he’s shirtless I can really see the ones on his arms much better. What is it with these boys and their tattoos? Justin’s got ones all over his legs, which I don’t understand and I think that one on his back is just cheesy. And all of Trace’s scream redneck pride. Meredith has one. I found that out today when she would bend or squat down. It’s right on the lowest part of her back, to the right a bit. But hers is classy. It’s a small music note. The one that’s staring me in the face now is the Jack Daniels thing that’s on his arm. I’d never get a tattoo.

“Right…you wish Courtney.”

He’s got an attitude and seems upset. I don’t know what his deal is. Just a second ago he seemed fine. He can always annoy me, but whenever I do it with him he gets pissed off. He really needs to gain some backbone or something. “Why are you getting mad?”

“You were the one that got drunk the other night and started playing footsies with me.”

I laugh. “Footsies? Come on now Trace…”

At first I think he’s just playing around. But then I look over I see he’s still got his arms crossed and is starting out straight in front of him and is gritting his teeth. Why the hell is he so mad with me? “And you kept pulling your top down and squeezing your boobs together.” He cuts his eyes to me and stares. “Don’t pretend that you weren’t ‘cause I use to be engaged, Courtney. I know how women work.”

I stare at him for a moment. I can’t believe that. Not the boob thing, I don’t remember doing that. But, did he just say engaged? “What?”

“What?” He shrugs.

“You were engaged?” How the hell did that happen? He seems like the least likely person to be engaged, ever. I imagined him being 60 and like Hugh Hephner. I don’t know why women would be attracted to him, but I can picture him with a bunch of blondes on his arm and a Jack Daniels in the other hand and him just living the life of a bachelor forever. He’s got to be joking. He was engaged?

Well was…maybe that’s why he’s not married. He’s still too much in single mode.

“The shocker of the century, I know.” He shakes his head and pushes himself up off his chair. “Ya know what? Forget it. Enjoy your little romance novel.” I just sit there with my mouth open a little bit as he grabs his beer and goes over by Justin. They slap hands and talk for a moment and then Trace disappears into the cabin of the yacht. For a moment I think of following him, but then I decide against it.

I can’t help it if I never saw him as a one-woman type of a guy, or a person that would settle down. He seems to just care about partying and having a good time and not worrying about any one else. Maybe I’m wrong about him. Or maybe not, maybe I’m right and he’s just pissed ‘cause he fucked up a good relationship he had. For some reason I don’t think that’s the truth and I think a part of me that wanted to see him as one way is finding out he’s different than that. Like when we went out to eat, I assumed he was getting me drunk so he could take advantage of me. And I did get drunk, I don’t know what possessed me to keep drinking the wine, but I did. But he didn’t lay a hand on me, just held my arm as we walked to the car and drove me home. Then Teddy rode with him back to get the car I drove.

He was a gentleman that night and I think the more and more I get to know him the more of the uncaring party guy is fading away and the more of an interesting individual is coming through. And that’s…well that could be a bad thing.

Whatever it is, I’m over trying to figure him out. It’s not worth the brain cells to even think about this kind of thing. He’s just a strange little man. Funny at times, entertaining at times, but that’s it. And that’s all he’ll ever be.