"What are you doing?"

"Plotting JC's death," Rachel grumbled into the phone. She paused the movie on Netflix and turned her attention to her friend on the phone.

Melissa Green laughed. "You would no sooner harm a hair on JC's head than I would stop baking."

Melissa owned 'Decadence', a bakery nestled in the Hills of Hollywood. On a diet or not, no one could turn down one of Melissa's treats. The bakery spawned their friendship. Rachel hadn't been able to turn down Melissa's delicious whipped strawberry pie.

"You should threaten to close your doors," Rachel said. "You'd have the who's who of Hollywood beating down your doors, throwing you money in your face to stay open."

"I can't tell you how many offers I've gotten to be a personal chef. They don't seem to mind that I bake muffins and such and not steak."

"Steak? You know damn well no one in Hollywood eats meat."

Melissa snorted over the phone. "Well..."

"No! Shut up Mel! I don't want to hear about your sex life."

"That's because you aren't getting any. If you'd just tell JC how you feel..."

"Mel..." Rachel sighed. It was a conversation that spanned years from almost the beginning of their friendship. Melissa pushed her to tell JC how she felt and she deflected each and every time. There was no way she could risk her friendship with JC if he didn't feel the same. By revealing her feelings, it could completely change the dynamic of their relationship.

"I'm telling you, he's in love with you," Melissa insisted. "I know these things. Being in customer service and working with the general public I've gotten pretty good at reading people. I've set many of my customers up with each other."

"Why haven't you set me up with Brad Pitt?"

Melissa laughed, "That's hilarious! Brad Pitt is so not your type."

"Oh yeah," Rachel countered. "Then what's my type?"

"You're living with him."

Rachel mentally cursed herself for walking right in to that.

"You know I'm right," Melissa sing-songed.

Melissa was right but Rachel wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of letting her know. When she first met the boy band members after Lance had joined, she considered them all her friends. She loved them all equally. They accepted her into their group. They were her 'brothers' just as much as Lance. As the years passed, she gravitated toward JC more. They had more in common. Neither of them liked to go out as much. Both liked the quiet. Unlike Justin or Chris, they could sit in the same room and not have to fill the quiet with conversation. The quiet drove Justin and Chris nuts and they'd have to fill it with mindless chatter.

Once the group ended and she started working solely with JC, she felt her feelings start to change. There was more one on one time. There was no one else vying for their attention, pulling them away from each other. Being alone together for so much of the time, they were bound to grow closer. It was inevitable. She learned a lot of things about JC that she had never known before. In turn, she shared a lot of her own secrets with him. She wasn't sure who knew more about her: Lance or JC.

She had been part of all his trials and tribulations. She had seen many of his angry breakdowns after Jive would push back his single release dates and album release dates. She was there to see the self doubt when Justin's solo music exploded on the charts and his own didn't. When the music critics put Justin on a pedestal, proclaiming him the 'voice' of *NSYNC and the reason the group made it big, she was there making sure he knew it was all lies. She let him know that he had just as much to do with *NSYNC's success; there were many fans who had preferred his melodious crooning over Justin's nasally whine.

When Jive eventually dropped him, she was there; cussing and damning the label to hell right alongside JC. Her opinions were louder than his. She was there serving the alcohol and there to pour him in to bed after having a few too many. She would protect him with everything she had; from record labels and executives to fans and women looking to get with him.

The last one hurt as much as one would think. To love someone as much as she loved JC and having to watch as he dated women, fell in love with them, had one night stands in between his relationships. There was nothing she could do but stay on the sidelines and be happy for him and pretend that it wasn't breaking her heart.

She had been through many girlfriends. Tara Reid and the relationship that was doomed for the beginning as media and managers pushed them together to help the sales of his debut single. Eva Longoria had broken his heart; had played him and cheated on him. She was there to watch the downward spiral JC took when he found out. She was there to watch the one night stands parade in and out of his bedroom. She was there to listen to him trash women and the fake Hollywood women that were in abundance in Los Angeles. She was there to listen to him go on and on about why couldn't he find the one woman who loved him for him and not because he was JC Chasez of *NSYNC, who wasn't just using him as a stepping stone to something better or for his money. She wanted to shout; to tell him to open his eyes and see what was in front of him. What had been in front of him all this time. To see her. To see her as more than a best friend. To give her a chance to hold his heart. She would never break it. She would hold that precious item close. She would love him how he deserved to be loved. If only he would give her a chance.

She was there for the last relationship that made him give up all together. She stayed quiet as he fell in love with Kathryn. Didn't bring up the fact that she looked like Eva. Looked like Jennifer, the girlfriend after Eva. Her heart broke when Kathryn moved in and slowly started taking over the house. She never told JC how close she had been to moving out. Had started looking for places to rent. Above all she wanted JC to be happy. That's all she wanted and if that was with Kathryn, she would have dealt with her feelings and broken heart.

The relationship started going downhill the moment Kathryn started hinting toward a ring and marriage and kids. She tried to warn her not to push JC. He would propose when he was good and ready - after he analyzed it to death - and not a moment sooner. Kathryn didn't listen to her. The final straw had been the ring Kathryn wanted. She had specific requirements. It had to be a certain stone and a certain cut with a certain amount of carets. JC's eyes had been opened to the truth. Kathryn may have loved him, but she loved his money more.

"Rachel!" Melissa's voice penetrated her thoughts.

"I'm sorry. What?"

"I asked what are you gonna do when he finds the one and gets married? You're gonna be a big part in his wedding. Hell you'd probably end up being his best man! Can you stand there and watch him marry someone else?"

'No!' Her heart screamed. She could already feel the pain in her chest and her throat swelling. She tried to block out the images. "If it makes him happy?" She finally forced out. "Yes." In the end that's all that mattered. Her heart would heal.

Right?

*~*

"Hey man," JC stood and shook Matt's hand pulling him into a half hug. When they parted, he took his seat again while Matt sat across from him. A waitress appeared quickly and disappeared just as fast with his drink order.

"So," Matt said leaning back in his chair, ignoring the menu in front of him. "What's up with the last minute invite to dinner?"

"I need a reason to invite you to dinner?"

"No," Matt shook his head. "It's just strange. You only do this when Rachel's out of town and you don't know what to do with yourself. Did she go back home?"

JC rolled his eyes. "That's not true," he said even though he knew it was. When Rachel wasn't home he never felt like cooking for one person. He'd go out to eat and invite friends. It hadn't taken Jimmy and his longtime girlfriend, Mary, long to get ahead of the game and invite him over to their house for dinner when they knew Rachel would be gone. No one ever said anything and he never asked, but he was sure Rachel made them look after him.

"Right," Matt chuckled. "So what is the real reason you invited me out? Rachel kick you out?"

JC snorted, "It's my house."

"Like you wouldn't leave if she asked you too."

"She wouldn't ask me to so it's a moot point."

Any response Matt had was forgotten when the waitress came back with his drink and to take their order. "So, the real reason you asked me to dinner? Renee was mighty jealous when I left; asking me if she should be worried."

JC nearly choked on his drink. He picked up his napkin and wiped his mouth. "Renee has nothing to worry about. Trust me. And even if I did go that way, I'd find someone way cuter than you."

"Hey!" Matt protested. "I am quite the catch!"

"Right," JC rolled his eyes. "I've seen your living habits. You must have Renee brainwashed to stay with you."

"Renee in the best," Matt said seriously. "I don't know what I'd do without her."

JC was jealous of Matt. He was jealous of the relationship he was in with Renee. Their relationship was filled with love and laughter. They spent time together and when they went out on ‘guys only' or ‘girls only' nights, there was never any sign of jealousy. They trusted each other whole heartedly.

He wanted that. He wanted what Matt had. He wanted to find that someone he would spend the rest of his life with. He wanted to find that someone to raise children with. With Lance getting married, it meant he was the last member of *NSYNC standing; something the media and fans continuously brought up. How could he answer the "when are you getting married" question when he didn't have a clue himself. There were no prospects.

Except one.

But Rachel didn't have feelings for him. At least not like he had for her. He could laugh at Jimmy's jokes about him not being able to function if Rachel quit. He could laugh at Matt's joke about leaving his house. Laughter hid the truth. He wouldn't be able to function if Rachel quit and left him. He had relied on her for 10 years to basically run everything he put his hand in. If Rachel asked him to leave, he would pack his things up and find a new house and probably still end up covering the bills associated with the house.

He was a sap.

He was a moron. An idiot and all the other synonyms that went along with it.

He loved her. He had loved her for years and tried to prove he didn't by dating other women who were the complete opposite of Rachel.

"Why don't you just tell her?" Matt asked taking a drink.

"Tell who what?" JC feigned dumb.

Matt rolled his eyes. "Tell Rachel that you love her."

"I don't love her." JC life and caught Matt's stare and sighed, his shoulders slumping. "Fine. I do love her."

"Finally!" Matt exclaimed. "Now why don't you do something about it! You can stop whatever this is...this dance you two have been doing for years. You're just wasting time."

"You know how much is riding on that?" JC stared at Matt. He could feel the tightening in his chest. It came any time he thought about blurting his feelings out to Rachel. "I tell her and she doesn't feel the same way. She lets me down easy and we agree to put it all behind us and not let it hurt our friendship but it will. She'll know how I feel about her and it will be on her mind. She won't want to hurt me and our whole dynamic will change."

"Or..." Matt said cutting in. "She'll tell you she loves you too and your relationship will change for the better because let me tell you," he grinned. "There is nothing better than spending your life with the one you love."

JC let Matt's words roll over in his head. He could tell Rachel he loved her and she could tell him she loved him too.

‘Or she could tell you she doesn't feel the same way.'

Could he put himself out there? Could he take the chance of forever altering their relationship? Could he take the chance of losing her?

*~*

Rachel heard the key in the door around nine that evening. A rerun of Law and Order: SVU graced the television screen. She had a blanket thrown over her lap with her feet up on the coffee table in front of her. A bowl of popcorn sat in her lap and a cold Pepsi sat next to her feet. The only glow in the house came from the television.

She made no acknowledgement that she heard him when he walked into the room. A plastic store bag came into view when he held it in front of her face.

"A peace offering," JC said, giving the bag a shake.

Rachel looked at him, then at the bag. She was gonna tell him she wasn't mad but she didn't want him to take the gift away. She reached for the bag, taking it off his wrist. Opening it up she grinned seeing a king size Hershey bar. "You think you can buy me with a Hershey bar?"

"And with Reese's Pieces, Gobstoppers, Butterfingers, Hershey Kisses..." JC smirked. "Basically the whole candy aisle." He teased.

"Funny... I don't see the whole candy aisle in here." She peered in the bag once more before looking up at him.

JC rolled his eyes and moved to take the bag away. "I'll be right back."

"No, JC..." Rachel reached out and grabbed his wrist before he could walk away. She nearly upset the popcorn in her lap. She put the bowl on the table in front of her and dropped her feet to the floor. "A perfect peace offering." She sent him a smile.

JC grinned and let her take the bag again. As she broke the chocolate bar in pieces insides the wrapper, he took a seat next to her. "It's 80 degrees outside and you're under a blanket."

"You've known me for how long?" She sent him a look as she opened her candy and put one of the broken pieces in her mouth.

"True," JC leaned forward and grabbed the popcorn before settling back on the couch next to Rachel. He popped a couple pieces in his mouth. "Extra butter?"

"Is there any other way?" She asked, eating another rectangle piece from her candy bar. "Where did you disappear to?"

"Dinner with Matt. What did you do?"

"Netflixed. Talked with Mel. Then ran to Panera Bread for carry out. My life got easier since they made that place a drive thru. Though I should probably worry they know me by name now."

JC chucked. "Every take out place within a twenty mile radius of the house knows your name to include all the pizza delivery guys."

"That's not true!" Rachel glared at him. "I cook! A lot more than I used to."

"That's true," JC gave that to her. She did cook a lot more than she used to. When she did, she always had the recipe open on the counter and followed it to a T. If anything failed, her mother was just a phone call away to steer a disaster into something edible. "I always see the pizza delivery guys looking at the house forlornly as they drive by."

"Shut up!" Rachel laughed, slapping his arm.

"The Dominoes kid nearly swallowed his tongue when you opened the door in a towel."

"I had a bathing suit on underneath," she pointed out. Though it had been the strapless one she wore to sunbathe. Wrapped in a towel, it looked like she had been naked. The delivery guy had been caught off guard. He could barely talk. He had a hard time meeting her eyes. "I gave him a good tip."

"You sure did," JC laughed.

"Gross JC, I don't want to think about some teenager jacking off to me."

On second thought, neither did he. "So who did you and Melissa match up today?" With those two, you knew there would be nothing but gossip, inappropriate jokes and lots of laughter and giggling.

"Me and Brad Pitt." She put the empty candy bar wrapped on the coffee table and took a drink of her Pepsi. When she leaned back, she laid her head on JC's shoulder and settled the blanket more comfortably on her.

JC snorted. "Please. You haven't forgiven Brad Pitt for cheating on Jennifer Aniston. You still won't watch any movie with Angelina Jolie."

"No good home wrecker," she muttered, her lips curling with disgust.

"So I don't think you'll be hooking up with Brad Pitt any time soon." He lifted his legs on the coffee table next to Rachel's. It was normal for them to sit like that and watch TV. It was almost involuntary. They'd been doing it for years. Their bodies would gravitate toward each other.

"She did try to set me up on a blind date with a customer," Rachel said after a moment of silence.

JC had to catch himself from stiffening. He barely caught the ‘no' from tumbling out of his mouth. "This customer pass the best friend test?"

"Considering you haven't met him, no." She wasn't sure why she brought the topic up. She had given Melissa an adamant no about setting her up on any dates with any of her customers famous or not.

"Aww," JC teased and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, giving her a tight squeeze. "Just so you know, no one will pass my test for you."

"Not unless they walk through hell and back, take a bullet for me, beat up a purse snatcher, save a lady from a burning building..."

JC rolled his eyes. "You've been ready too many of your trashy romance novels."

Rachel couldn't dispute that. She had been knocking out a bunch of them. They were a fast read. Read one, read them all.

"Anything exciting happen at dinner with Matt? Get attached by gleeks or overzealous *NSYNC fans?"

"Matt tried to set me up."

"Set you up how? On a date? With who?" She asked feeling him nod. A wave of jealousy coursed through her. Dates made her nervous. Any one of the women JC went on a date with could wind up being ‘the one'.

"Addison." It had been a weird conversation. Addison was beautiful enough, but she didn't do it for him. He felt nothing between them at all. There were no sparks, no tension between them. That was why he turned her down every time she asked him out for drinks. He didn't want to lead her on. He told Matt as much, but his friend wouldn't let it go. Kept talking her up, bringing up things they had in common. There was something about Addison that raised a warning. He wasn't sure what it was, but he had every intention of steering clear. Right now she was around because they were writing a song together. JC finally had to tell Matt that he loved Rachel and he would never date Addison before Matt dropped the subject. The conversation had moved on to other topics, mostly about music, Broadway, TV and industry gossip they'd both been privy to.

Rachel fought to keep from stiffening and pulling away. If JC went on a date with Addison .... If she woke up and caught Addison pouring a cup of coffee wearing nothing but JC's shirt... Rachel felt like she was going to be sick. She wanted to shout, ‘NO!' for JC to hear. She wanted to forbid him from dating her. She wanted to lean over and kissed him with every ounce of emotion she had until he knew what her feelings were.

"You think they'll ever hook up?"

"Wh-who?" Rachel asked, clearing her throat. She hadn't recovered from JC dating Addison. He never told her what he told Matt. She was afraid to ask; afraid to hear the answer.

"Benson and Stabler," JC nodded toward the TV. "They've been doing this dance for years." ‘Just like us.'

Rachel stared at the two main character on the screen: Benson and Stabler. She knew the answer having kept up with the series. The actor playing Stabler left the series at the end of a previous season which caused the character to retire with no warning. Benson had been caught off guard. A relationship was never flushed out. "No," she finally said. "It would completely ruin their dynamic."