If Rachel thought the hours passed slowly in the hospital waiting room, nothing prepared her for how slow they would pass through the night. After going to LAX and driving back to Lance's house, it was going on two in the morning. With the time change and the long cross country flight, Roy and Karen had retired to one of Lance's guest bedrooms not long after arriving at Lance's. Knowing that her brother wouldn't go to sleep while she was still awake, she headed to bed too. Every so often she would hear the mumble of conversation. Lance wasn't sleeping either.

She laid beneath the covers of the bed in the room she had claimed when she arrived yesterday afternoon. She lay on her side facing the window, her legs pulled up to her chest, her arms tucked under the pillow. There were tear stains on her cheeks and tear stains on her pillow. Every time she closed her eyes all she could see was JC laying on the floor. The blood stain on his shirt growing bigger and bigger. She was helpless to do anything but keep applying the pressure to the wound and pray the ambulance would arrive quickly.

‘Love you.'

Those were the words he had spoken as he laid there on the floor, bleeding out. ‘Love you.' Rachel had spent years wishing to hear JC speak those words to her. Now he had, but they brought tears to her eyes. The crack in her heart was deep and wide. Tonight was only one hurdle. The doctor had said the next 24 hours were crucial. JC wasn't out of the woods. He could still die. A tear fell from the corner of her eye and rolled into her hair.

‘Love you.'

He could still die and she hadn't told him. She could have told him she loved him too. Maybe she would have responded that way after JC told her, if Addison hadn't screamed. It was all so confusing. Rachel couldn't make sense of a lot of things that had happened in those moments. Why would Addison pull a gun on them? She thought back to what had transpired. Seeing JC coming down the stairs made her freeze. It made her heart ache at the sight of him. Even after hearing the voicemail and his feelings on her, her stupid heart still loved him. He had looked terrible with his unshaven face, the pale skin, and dark circles under his eyes. Matt had told her JC was in a bad place. She hadn't believed him. JC didn't get to be in a bad place. He was the one who pulled the rug out from under her. He was the one who hurt her. JC didn't get to look like a zombie. She did. He didn't get to look like his heart had been broken. Hers was.

Nothing made sense. JC told her he loved her. She kept telling him not to talk, to save his strength, but he continued to talk anyway. Like he knew he might not make it. He had to tell her. He told her he loved her. The voicemail proved otherwise. JC told her it was wrong. How was it wrong? There was no mistaking the voicemail and what JC had said about her. How could it be wrong? How did he know about the voicemail when Matt told her JC had no idea what was going on?

Matt had sent the voicemail.

Why had Matt sent her the voicemail? Why would he do that to her? They had been friends for years. He had to have known what it would do to her to hear JC talk about her that way. Did he send it to her to protect her? Did he know Rachel's feelings? Did he know how she felt about JC and knew JC didn't feel the same way? Was that his way of telling Rachel to move on? He couldn't do it face to face he had to go the anonymous route?

JC had been adamant that Matt tell her about the voicemail. He thought Matt would tell her something that would magically make it all different. The word made her pause. Magically. She frowned. Why did that word make her pause? It was then she remembered the yelling she had heard all the way in her room with the door shut.

‘You think sorry is just going to magically make this all go away? You think Rachel's going to just magically forgive me? You think she'll be able to trust me again?'

At the time, the words had caused her to pause. JC had been angry. After JC's outburst it had gotten quiet. Rachel had strained to hear, but could only hear the low rumble of conversation. She couldn't make out the words or even who was talking. She had made the decision to quickly grab her things and leave, but then the yelling had returned and even more voices were involved.

Tears welled in her eyes again as pictures flashed through her mind. There were just snapshots on the day. JC grabbing her arm to keep her from leaving. Addison pulling the gun. JC taking a step to stand in front of her. Addison moving away from Jimmy. Addison turning the gun on her. JC laying on the ground bleeding. Holding JC's hand to her cheek as Jimmy applied pressure to the wound. Him laying deathly still with his eyes closed. Rachel clutched a pillow to her, wrapping her arms tightly around it. She buried her face in the pillow, trying to muffle the cries.

Rolling over, she grabbed her phone off the bedside table where she had it charging. There were plenty of messages, missed calls, and email notifications. A lot of the messages were from friends who wanted to know what was going on with JC and what had happened. There were messages from Stacy and her mom that she hadn't responded too, but Lance had talked to both of them on the phone earlier giving them the latest update on JC. Her voicemails were probably the same if she had to guess.

Leaving all the messages alone, Rachel pulled up her photos and slowly scrolled through them. The most recent ones were of her in Mississippi. There were photos of her with Stacy's kids, Stacy, Ford, her parents... She bypassed those and found the ones she had taken before. There were plenty of photos of her and JC on her phone. She looked at each one. Photos from around the house, photos from New York. Photos out in town. Photos from vacations. She had hundreds of photos on her phone and she stared at them until she had them all memorized.

*~*

"How did you sleep?" Lance asked when Karen came in to the kitchen. "I have coffee ready. Cream and sugar is already on the counter." He pointed toward the coffee pot on the counter. He had pulled the cream, sugar, and milk already and placed them next to the coffee pot along with coffee cups. "If you don't want that, I have the Keurig I can..."

"This is fine Lance," Karen smiled appreciatively at her son's friend. "You guys can keep your fancy stuff. Nothing will take the place of Mr. Coffee."

Lance chuckled. "Sound just like my mom." He had purchased his parents a Keurig, but his parents were set in their ways. The Keurig got most of its use when he and Michael visited.

"You know us old people," Karen sent him a wink before pouring her coffee. She added just a touch of cream and sugar.

"I'm not touching that one." Lance laughed. "I have cereal, bagels and cream cheese. I also have pancake mix, plus eggs and bacon."

"I think I'll just have a bagel," Karen sat the coffee cup down at the table. She turned around to see Lance moving toward the fridge. "Sit down. You don't have to wait on me."

"If word got back to my Mom that I didn't wait on you..."

"You let me handle Diane." Karen shooed Lance away from the fridge. Before she could open the fridge she saw the invitation. "Oh..."

"What?" Lance dropped the bagels onto the counter and quickly went to Karen. "What's wrong? What is it?"

"With everything going on..." Karen's voice trailed off and she lifted her hand to the invitation. It was white with black lettering. Gold trim around the edges. At the bottom, beneath the information, was a man and a woman clip art, dressed in their best ‘20s costume. The same invitation was on her fridge at home. She remember receiving it in the mail and being disappointed when she realized she and Roy had a prior commitment and wouldn't be able to attend. "It's Rachel's birthday today... yours too."

Lance nodded. He wasn't even sure what happened to the party last night. After Matt had called he made a quick call to Lisa explaining what he knew. He was certain she took care of everything. "Yeah. It's not the weekend we had planned for sure."

"JC was looking forward to the party. Said he and Rachel had gone in March to get their costumes. I think he was tickled to give her his gift. Couldn't wait. He said he was going to give it to her before the party, when they got back from the movie? Did she get it?"

"I..." Lance stared at Karen wide eyed.

"Lance are you okay? I know it isn't important. I'm just trying to make conversation to cover up how worried I am."

Lance closed his eyes and shook his head. "You didn't know..." he whispered.

"Know what?" Karen watched Lance look toward the doorway to the kitchen. "What's going on? What don't I know?"

"Rachel and JC had a...falling out."

"Falling out? What's that mean?"

"Rachel's been in Mississippi for about two weeks now. I had to beg her to come back for the party. Only way she would come is if JC wouldn't be there," Lance explained. The ache was back in his heart. The last words he had spoken to JC were uninviting him to the party. "The only reason she was at JC's house was because her costume was still there. She ran over there to get it..."

"My word," Karen stared at Lance in shock. "JC didn't mention anything... Come to think of it, I haven't talked to JC in about a week. Rachel longer. She didn't answer when I called. What happened?"

"I don't know." Lance sighed. "JC didn't know what was going on. Rachel won't talk about it."

"What a mess."

*~*

"Rachel?" Karen asked softly seeing Rachel hesitate outside the door to JC's room. "Are you okay?"

"I don't think I can go in there." Rachel whispered and turned around. Her tearful gaze met JC's parents.

"Yes you can," Karen told the young woman. "I know it's scary but..."

"You don't understand," Rachel told her with tears falling down her cheeks. "This is all my fault. If I hadn't been there... I should have stayed gone. If I had this wouldn't have happened. JC would be on his way to New Orleans right now..."

"This isn't your fault," Karen said firmly. "Do not blame yourself. It's that woman's fault. Not yours."

"She was aiming for me." Rachel whispered, looking over her shoulder at JC's door. "It should be me in there. It should be me."

"Come here, Sweetie," Karen drew her son's best friend into a hug. "It's not your fault. No one blames you. I don't blame you. Roy doesn't blame you. When JC wakes up, he will tell you he doesn't blame you. He was protecting you." She held Rachel as she cried, her heart breaking. If her son didn't tell this woman how he felt after this ordeal she was gonna box his ears in. "Come on," she drew back, meeting Rachel's eyes. "We're gonna go in and let JC know we are here. We're gonna sit by his side, hold his hand. You can even yell at him. You know he never passes up an opportunity to argue with you."

"Come on," Roy placed a hand on either woman's back.

Rachel took a deep breath and grabbed the handle of the door and pushed it open. The nurse had warned them that JC was hooked up to machines and that it would look scary, but they hadn't been prepared. She hadn't been prepared. JC had an IV catheter attached to his right forearm. The tubing was taped down and she followed the rest of the line where the bag was attached to the pole. She could see the slow drip. Wires were coming up from beneath the hospital gown and attached to another machine. The lines on the machine spiked with his heart beat. The numbers on the machine were low. The pointer finger of his right hand held the pulse ox. It was another wire added to the mess. There was a bag hanging toward the foot of the bed on the left side, with another tube that ran up and under the blankets.

The scary part in the whole scene was the tube coming from JC's mouth. The doctor had explained JC needed help breathing. He wasn't able to do it well enough on his own. All the tubes went off to the left side of the bed to the machine near his head. The ventilator. It was helping him breath. Giving him the oxygen he needed.

Rachel took a step forward and then another followed by another under she was standing by his side. She lifted her arm and hesitated, unsure.

"Go ahead. You won't hurt him." Rachel looked over her shoulder at the voice. A nurse had come into the room while she had been taking everything in. "Hold his hand, brush your fingers through his hair. Talk to him. Let him know you are here. Trust me, it's the best medicine for him."

Rachel turned back to look at JC. Her eyes running all over his face. He was pale. Paler than he had looked at the house. The circles under his eyes were more pronounced.

"I know the doctor explained JC's condition before you came in," the nurse spoke, her eyes meeting the older people in the room. "My name is Anita. I'm JC's nurse on day shift. I will be in and out all day checking on him. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask me. Even if it's something simple. If you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask. The cafeteria starts serving lunch at 1030. It's down on the first floor. You come out of the room and hang a left and take the elevators at the end of the hall to the first floor. Once on the first floor, you'll face the cafeteria. To get in, go to the right and take the first hallway to the left. If you need me to, I will explain all the tubes and wires and what they are doing.  I want to remind you that JC has a few incisions on his chest." Using her own chest as a visual, Anita pointed out where the bullet wound was, as well as the incision made by the surgeon, and the where the chest tube had been placed.

"It's all so overwhelming," Karen whispered, staring at her son.

"I understand. I know how it looks, but trust me. JC is getting the best care," Anita assured them. "He did really well through the night."

"Shouldn't he be awake?"

"There is no set time we can tell families when loved ones will wake up," Anita explained. "JC had pretty extensive injuries. I can assure you, he's doing well."

"Thank you," Roy told the nurse, who then left the room to give them privacy.

Rachel laid her hand over JC's, curling her fingers to his palm. "When you said you had the best birthday present ever, I was expecting something a little more... happier." She used her free hand to brush the tears from her cheeks. "It's funny," she gave a short laugh. "I spent the last two weeks ignoring you. I erased every text message, every voicemail. I didn't want to hear your voice."

Roy and Karen exchanged looks. They had no idea what was going on between JC and Rachel. What could have happened between them to make Rachel run to Mississippi and cut JC out of her life? They had waited for years for JC to tell them their friendship had grown in to something new. There had been plenty of conversations within the family wondering what JC was waiting on. How he couldn't see what was right in front of him.

"I would give anything to hear your voice right now." Rachel squeezed JC's hand. "I would give anything to go back to when I got that voicemail. I wouldn't have ran. I would punch you right in the damn nose. I don't know where you get off hurting me like that... I don't know what's going on. I'm so confused." She sniffled and wiped at her nose with the back of her hand. "You say you hate me, then you're taking a bullet for me and telling me you love me."

Roy and Karen looked at each other again, hearing Rachel speak. The last thing in the world their son felt for the woman in front of them was hatred.

Rachel reached up with her free hand and carded her fingers through his hair, pushing the locks up off his forehead. "I'm gonna need you to wake up JC and explain this all to me. So please wake up soon," she finished with a whispered. She leaned over, mindful of the tubes, and kissed his forehead. She squeezed his hand once more, before stepping away from the bed. Without meeting Roy or Karen's eyes she left the room as tears fell down her cheeks.

*~*

"There you are," Lance said as he spotted Rachel sitting in a chair in an isolated waiting room. "Why are you not with JC?"

"I just needed a minute."

"A minute passed two hours ago." Lance took a seat next to Rachel. "Karen told me what you said."

"I don't want to talk about it." Rachel turned in her seat so she was facing away from her brother.

"I do, so tough." He put his elbows on his knees as he leaned forward. He kept his voice low. "Why do you think JC hates you?"

Rachel reached up and wiped away a tear that had escaped and rolled down her cheek. "Because he said so."

Lance shook his head. "I don't believe it. No way." He shook his head again. "JC does not hate you. I'm telling you. He loves you. The only person in this world who can't see that is you. Is that why you took off to Mississippi?" He sighed when Rachel nodded. "Why didn't you just come to me?"

"It was the first place JC would look."

"What did he say?" He watched as Rachel fiddled with her phone before handing it to him telling him to press play. He tapped the play button and lifted the phone to his ear. His eyebrows rose as he heard the voicemail. "Who sent this to you?"

"I think Matt did."

"What? Why?"

"I don't know. I think that's what the arguing was about before... before..." her eyes welled with tears again. She could still hear the gunshot and smell the gun powder. She could see the blood blossoming on JC's chest. "And when JC... JC was... he kept trying to talk, you know? I kept trying to shush him." Her chin wobbled and she sniffled. "I kept telling him not to talk... to save his strength. I'm holding his hand, pressing it against my cheek. Begging him to just hold on. Jimmy's trying to stop the bleeding. He wouldn't stop talking. Whispering. It was hard to hear him."

Lance wrapped an arm around Rachel's back and leaned in to her. He could feel his own eyes well with tears as he listened to her recount what had happened.

"He wouldn't listen to me. He just kept trying to talk."

"What did he say?"

"That the voicemail was wrong..." She sniffled and shifted in her chair so she faced forward and leaned her head on Lance's shoulder. "He said ‘love you. Always. Only you'."

Lance's eyes slid closed at Rachel's words causing the tears he'd been holding at bay to fall. He pulled her closer to him and wrapped his other arm around her. His heart ached. "That's why he wasn't listening to you. He knew he needed to tell you he loved you in case..."

"In case what?" Rachel asked when he trailed off.

"In case he didn't make it."