JC

"Just park anywhere over there," Nasaan directed, after the five minute drive to town. He pointed at a large sign that read Cloudcroft Drugstore. I pulled into an open spot and cut the engine. Tori's truck shuddered into silence. 

I tucked the keys into my pocket. "So, this is downtown Cloudcroft, huh? Kinda..." 

"Small? Rustic? Shitty?"

I nodded, chuckling lightly. "A mix of all three. So, where are we? I mean... is this like Main street or whatever?"

"This is Burro Street," he answered, zipping up his coat and popping the latch to open the passenger side door. "Might as well be Main, though. All of our tourist attractions are on this street. The real businesses are a block or two away but this is the stuff we shill to people like you."

"I'm honored." We hopped out of the truck and migrated to the sidewalk, falling in with the small crowd of people traveling in that direction. 

"You can pretty much walk downtown in about an hour. Down one side of Burro, and up the other. I'm sure you don't want to see t-shirt booths and souvenir shops. There's a cool sporting goods store that me and Logan... Logan and I hang out in." 

He pointed down the street, as if I knew what building he was referring to. "Ski Palace has all your stuff for skiing. And biking too. The owner said I could work there a few hours a week, starting this summer."

"That's cool," I commented. "Lining up jobs for yourself ahead of time."

"Yeah." He shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his coat. He dipped his head, tucking his chin into the collar. "I want to get out of mom's pocket, you know? She tries to keep things from me but I know things are tight right now. My dad sends money, which helps. I like stuff, and I can work, so..." 

He shrugged, shuffling his waterproof boots through the melting piles of snow around us. My boots weren't faring so well. 

"That's a pretty mature attitude to have. And I'm sure she's grateful." 

"Yeah, I guess. I just..." 

Nasaan heaved a lung-clearing breath that seemed entirely too heavy for a boy so young. His gait had slowed to a crawl, until he stopped in front of The Gift Shop Mall and nodded his head for us to go inside. "They have cool stuff in here. And I have friends that work at a couple of the shops. Let's see what's crackin'."

The Gift Shop Mall was structured like an outdoor mall, but inside. Different stores sold various items-clothing, souvenirs, artifacts, candy and an on-site cafe where you could get a burger and a soda, or something stronger. We wandered through a few places, where I hung back and took in the atmosphere while Nasaan chatted with his friends. I picked up a few things- t-shirts, socks, briefs and a couple of thermal shirts that were ridiculously overpriced, but hell if I was looking through every store in Cloudcroft for underwear. 

More than an hour later, Nasaan and I set our bags at our feet and settled into chairs at the bar at Olive Branch, the restaurant inside the mall. Nasaan ordered a soft drink, and though I was dying for a beer, I decided to go for a cup of coffee instead. Tori texted Nasaan to pick up some pizza she had ordered. We were biding our time until it was time to go pick it up. 

"So, you were saying something earlier but didn't finish your thought. About working. And not being in your mom's pocket for everything."

Nasaan shrugged a shoulder, then unwrapped a straw and dunked it into a tall glass of fizzy, dark beverage. "It was nothing."

"I don't think it was nothing. You seem... frustrated about something. We can talk, man. If you want." I clapped him on the shoulder and gave him a light squeeze. I expected him to pull back from my touch, but he didn't. "I'm not gonna run to your mom about it, if that's what you're thinking."

He shrugged again, then sucked down more of his drink, but slower, like he was working up the nerve to talk. Then, he just started talking.  

"I know my mom is planning ahead.  Couple years, I'll be eighteen and graduating. She's been talking lately about how she wants me to get out of here. About how the shop closing will actually be good, then I wouldn't be saddled with it."

"Yeah, she seems pretty concerned about the shop closing. A little torn up about it." 

I gave a nod to the waitress, who set a thick mug in front of me and poured a steaming cup of coffee into it. She made a big deal about the cream and sugar containers and slid a spoon and a napkin across the counter before stepping away with a smile. 

"Does that ever get old?" He asked.

"Does what ever get old?" I poured a generous helping of cream and a dumped a few cubes of sugar into my coffee, using the spoon to stir the dark mixture into something light and sweet. 

"Women just... smiling at you and shit. Going overboard for attention."

I laughed, not expecting to hear that from Nasaan. It was subtle, but I always picked up on it- the bright smiles, the extra mile, the additional care that someone put into serving me.  

"To be real with you, man..." I shook my head. "It doesn't really get old. This life hasn't been a crystal stair, as Langston Hughes would say. But I get some pretty good perks from people knowing my name. From women thinking I'm cute."

"Like staying at our house instead of the crappy motel in town, eating my mom's food, drinking her beer. Like your platinum credit cards and your vintage bike and all your designer clothes and shit. Those are some pretty crystal stairs right there, man."

I smiled, burying my face in the steam from the coffee. "Yeah. I guess I can't bullshit you about that. But it wasn't always platinum cards and vintage bikes and designer shit, Big house in LA and whatever. It used to be rough. Very, very rough. I try to remember that it wasn't always like this. And that it won't always be like this. Eventually my looks will fade and I'll be this... I don't know... bloated old pasty guy with greasy hair and no one will look at me twice."

Nasaan laughed. He swiveled his seat back and forth and sucked down more cola. "Okay, you can dial down that fake modesty. I'm not sure I see that happening, JC. You're like... old, but still catching looks and probably plenty of ass." He paused, catching my eye. "I don't mean old in a bad way, by the way."

"I'm over forty. I know where I stand with fifteen year olds." 

"I just mean that you still look... you know, pretty much the same as when you were a big deal." 

I laughed, shaking my head. "I don't know about all that. But I'm thankful that some people still think I do." 

 The door to the cafe swung open and a tall- very tall man walked in. It was pretty obvious that he rode, even to me. He was a monster of a man, with long, thick hair pulled into a ponytail at the back of his head. His deep brown skin was covered by large shades, leather gear, dark clothing, heavy boots. Tattoos ran up one arm and down the other. 

Nasaan tipped his head toward the guy. "That's Mitch Chee, the guy that owns the building that Nez Motors is in."

"Him?" I whipped around to get another look. Why wouldn't he be interested in keeping a motorcycle repair  shop open? "That guy?"

"Yeah. Mom services all of his bikes- he has like seven of them. He lives on a ranch about ten miles outside of Cloudcroft and he usually rides one of his bikes to town. His family used to own a lot of buildings here, but I think he's trying to sell them all." 

The guy had spotted Nasaan and made his way over to the bar. "Hey, Nasaan. What's up?" 

"Not too much," Nasaan answered, offering a hand for Mitch to shake, then pointing in my direction. "This is JC. He's been hanging out at our house for a few days."

"Oh." His eyes narrowed slightly. "You the guy that crashed your bike a few nights ago? A Triumph?"

I nodded, oddly happy to be known for crashing my bike in this town. 

Mitch laughed. "What are you, an amateur? You can't ride a vintage machine like that in the winter."

"Uh, yeah... I guess so," I admitted. I felt my face flush a deep red. "I'm figuring out all kinds of things I can't do with that bike."

"Tori getting you squared away?"

I nodded. "Yep. Saw it yesterday and things are coming together. Should be done in a few days at the latest." 

And then what, popped into my head. I'd have no more reasons to stick around Cloudcroft after that. Did I need one?  

"That's good. She's a great bike mechanic. Sorry to lose her. I mean, too bad that shop can't stay open, but I'm trying to get rid of the building." He paused to turn his gaze to Nasaan. "I've been sending letters and calling your mom. I'm not getting a response. I get that she's upset, but..." 

Mitch shrugged. "I've gotta have her out of that building so I can get it sold. Tell her to call me. Maybe we can find a spot for her to rent out. I'd like to work something out."

"I'll tell her, Mitch," Nasaan assured him before he walked away, joining a few other people at a table in the back of the restaurant. When he was safely out of listening range, Nasaan glanced at me and said, "He's a good guy, but selling that building is destroying my mom right now."

"She mentioned that she might need to move out. But that she had no place to go."

He nodded, dipping his gaze to the worn wood of the bar. "It would be cool if she had the space to do repairs and custom builds. She's really good at that. And if it could support her. Then I wouldn't worry about..."

"About?" I prodded, hoping the kid would stay open. 

"As bad as she wants me to leave, I want to go to school. And I don't mean at University of New Mexico. But I don't want to leave her here if it means she'll struggle or if she has to get some crappy job like working at Presby. She hates that place. I don't know, man. I think about just staying here to make sure she's okay."

"You know that's not your job, right? It's the other way around. It's her job to make sure that you're okay and that you get to do what you want to do."

"I know. I can't help it. I don't want her to be unhappy just to make me happy. I'll just be worried about her all the time. At the same time..." 

Nasaan sighed, shaking the few cubes of ice at the bottom of the glass. 

"You want a life. You have dreams that don't include staying in Cloudcroft."

He nodded, twisting his lips to one side of his face. The poor kid was drowning in inner turmoil. 

"So, what's that guy Mitch's deal? Is the building already for sale?"

"Not yet. He wants her to move out first, which is why he's up her ass about it." 

He pulled out his phone and glanced at the display, then signaled that it was time to go. I left a few bills on the bar, enough to cover our drinks and a nice tip for the smiling waitress. 

Cloudcroft Pizza was across town, so we went back to the truck and drove the couple of minutes to pick up dinner, then headed back to the house. 

"Hey, uhm..." Nasaan seemed sheepish, sitting in the passenger seat, the boxes of two large pies in his lap. "You're not gonna tell my mom what we talked about, right? I just kinda wanted to talk. We're not looking for anyone to solve our problems."

"I meant what I said. I'm not gonna narc on ya."

It was dusk, so kind of dark in the cab of the truck, but I distinctly saw him roll his eyes. "Nobody says narc, JC. Just don't tell my mom the stuff we talked about. Okay?"

"Sure. Yeah. Your secrets are safe with me. But wait." I grabbed the sleeve of his coat to stop him from getting out of the truck just yet. "Do you know where you want to go? If you could go anywhere, where would you go?"

Nasaan pondered the question as if he'd never been presented with the choice before. And he probably hadn't. His single choice was likely University of New Mexico, because it was at least in the same state. 

"I don't need to go far. Fuck Georgia or Tennessee; I don't need to be that close to my dad. Or my Grandpa. UNLV would be cool, though. Being honest, UCLA is a dream school for me." 

"Have you thought about applying there?"

"Thought about it. But it's a far away dream. Out of state tuition and housing's gonna be a bitch. I can try and get a scholarship, I guess. It's not like my dad set up a college fund or anything. I can't ask my mom to take out a loan for me." 

He sighed, staring out of the windshield at the sky that was growing darker by the second. 

"It's like... everyone tells you to dream. No one tells you how to make that dream come true.

...

Nasaan's words... the whole situation, really, weighed heavily on my mind all evening. We'd brought the pizza into the house, which was warm and cozy since Tori had the fire going. She and Kaya were both folding piles of laundry and watching TV, loudly mooning over a very young George Clooney.  

In some ways, it wasn't hard at all to understand why people would want to get the heck out of a small town. Everyone knowing your name, your face, your business. It was... kind of like being famous. Inescapable, unless you go someplace where no one knows you. 

But there were some points during my stay in Cloudcroft where I wished... well I wished I could stay, actually. It was small, quaint, quiet. The town was smack in the middle of the Lincoln National Forest. There were campgrounds everywhere, lush trees as far as the eye could see and of course the mountain, which seemed to get its fair share of snow in the winter but also looked fun for biking in the summer. 

Cloudcroft was idyllic and would be a nice place to unwind, kick back. Do some writing. But seriously impractical for anything else. It was a two hour flight (then another two hour drive), a twelve hour car ride... a 20 hour motorcycle ride to this place from Los Angeles. Not impossible to get to, but not convenient. 

We're not asking anyone to solve our problems, Nasaan had said. But still... I couldn't stop my mind from roving, from coming up with ways I could help without offending this little family. 

After dinner and dishes and a little laundry for myself, I was ready to grab a shower and crash on the couch. I'd hoped, very faintly, that Kaya and Nasaan would find something to do that night, but no such luck. Kaya had picked up a double shift, so she'd be heading to bed early. Nasaan had school the next morning so he'd be right behind her. 

On a brighter note, Nasaan had to be at school by 8am. Kaya would be leaving earlier than usual. That left Tori and I alone by noon. 

I could hold out that long. 

When the fire had died down and I was about to settle in for the night, I heard footsteps on the stairs. Tori turned the corner, wearing pajamas that were much cuter than those ugly cat things. 

"Hey," she whispered. "How you doing? Are you cold?"

"Nope," I answered, stretching out a hand to her. She slid her palm across mine and let me pull her to the couch and deposit her on my lap. "A little lonely, though. Kinda wish I could go upstairs and get in that bed with you."

"I'm sure the couch is getting really old."  

She leaned in to brush her lips across mine. I opened my mouth and ran my tongue along the seam of her lips, until they parted. We shared the quietest, sultriest kiss possible for a few moments, before she pulled away, cupping my chin in her hands.  

"I have something to tell you. Which may or may not change this couch situation." 

That got my attention. "What's up?"

"Uhm... so..." She shifted, so she was facing me. I drank in the warmth of her body, the softness of her skin, the scent of her. "So, remember this morning? Our last... session? You put a condom on?"

"Yeah. But I... I tossed it in the garbage outside, like all the rest of them."

"But the wrapper-"

"I handed it to you. Didn't I?" I searched her face, which didn't make me all that confident that I had actually handed it to her. "I didn't?"

She shook her head. "You handed me the ones from last night. The one from this morning was in the sheets. And... well, it came out in the wash. And Kaya did laundry after me. And found it."

Thud. Thud. THUD, went my heart. "Shit," I hissed, tipping my head back against the back of the couch. My eyelids slammed shut and I tried to think of something, anything to make this better. 

"It's not all that bad, JC. I'd prefer if no one knew, but I made her promise not to say anything to anyone." 

I lifted my head, opened my eyes and my mouth dropped open. "You really think she's not going to say anything? Why did you have to tell her?"

"She won't. I know her. She... she thought the wrapper was Nasaan's. And was about to absolutely shit on him for having a girl here in the house when we weren't home. I couldn't let her do that. And I couldn't let that happen to him, just to save my ass. There was just no way around it."

 "You could have just told her it was mine."

"Wrapped up in my sheets. I still would have had to tell her."

"I guess. So...is she gonna be shitty to me about it?"

"Was she shitty tonight at dinner? Or after dinner?"

I shook my head, thinking back over the evening. I wouldn't have known that she knew about us if Tori hadn't told me. "I guess not," I finally answered. "So what does that mean for us? And the couch situation? We still have Nasaan to think about."

"Nasaan goes to bed at 11 o'clock. Sleeps like the dead. I've never known him to get up in the middle of the night. And he doesn't get out of bed until 7 o'clock, if that, unless he has to work at the resort."

"So... I..."

"Could come upstairs. So long as you're up before he is, he'll never know."

"And Kaya..."

"Definitely won't be up that early. This isn't a house of early risers."

"So what you're saying is that we're just gonna... sleep together. With everyone in the house. And hope the fifteen year old doesn't catch on."

"Right."

"Haven't you spent three days telling me that he's super smart?"

"And haven't I also told you that he's a teenager? Things fly right over his head if you don't make it obvious."

"Tori, he... he's smarter than you give him credit for. He picks up on a lot."

"I know he does. I know he's worried about the household budget, about the shop closing. I know he's putting off picking a college in deference to me, for some reason. He's intuitive. But this?" 

She shook her head, then leaned in to kiss me. "I know my son. Really, really well. Think you can carry the charade, for a few days at least? Your bike will be finished soon." 

And then what, ricocheted through my head again. 

"You're telling me you've never snuck around with a girl before, Mr. LA Pretty Boy?"

I scoffed, feigning offense. "Well, of course I'm not saying that." 

"So? See you upstairs in a few minutes? Give the house time to settle down. I won't shut my door. Just come in." 

Without waiting for an answer, she untangled herself from my arms and hopped back upstairs without making a sound. My eyes bounced from the TV to the fireplace to the staircase and back again. Over and over again. 

I wasn't really sure about this. 

But uhm...so... how long was I supposed to wait?