"You're the one that likes to play in the mud. You know how this goes, now stand still!"

When I decided to get a dog, at my father's urging, I never imagined I would be wrangling a hundred-pound animal into standing still so I could spray him down after a romp through the ravines at Runyon Canyon. I walked him through the neighborhood every day, but weekends were special, so I let him run and play wherever he wanted, including bounding through water and exploring the trails around us.

Barksdale had done so much to change my life, since he came into it. I didn't hide in my apartment anymore. I wasn't afraid to be out alone, even after dark. His constant presence, his warmth, his weight was a comfort to me. He was a big, floppy security blanket and I loved him to pieces.

Except when he embarrassed me. He loved people, loved to play, and so I shouldn't have been surprised that he'd go running up to a stranger at the park. That it happened to be JC that he knocked over and coated with mud made me want to dig a hole and crawl into it.

JC had a pretty good attitude about it though, surprisingly. I expected to hear a lot of whiny entitlement about how much his expensive t-shirt cost and threats to turn my dog into animal control, but he was so easy going. He'd followed us down the trail to my condo complex and was now sitting at the edge of the pool, wearing only his shorts with his feet in the water, sipping a Stella IPA that I'd grabbed from my fridge and laughing at me trying to wash the dog.

"Do you need some help?"

"No," I answered quickly, aiming the spray of cold water at Barksdale's paws. "He's just showing off for you. This isn't normally that big of a deal." As if he needed to prove me right, he barked, bit at the water and took off toward JC.

"Maybe you should take him through a car wash," JC said, laughing at how Barksdale had laid out next to him and was now soaking up the sun's rays.

"It's not like I haven't been tempted. He gets his baths out here, usually."

I turned off the spigot and rolled the hose into a tight coil, which I placed on a hook hanging from the building. Next, I checked on JC's shirt, socks and shoes, which had been sprayed down and spread out to dry. It was hot enough that it wouldn't take long for them to be wearable- not completely dry but not dripping wet.

Unable to avoid it any longer, I grabbed the beer I'd brought out for myself and headed toward the pool, sitting on the other side of Barksdale with my feet in the water.

"So, have you lived in LA long?"

"About ten years. I grew up about two hours south of here. Small town, kind of. Too many people that know all of your business. Like a lot of people, I dreamt of moving to LA.  Just not to be an actress."

"To get away from that small town scene? I can understand that."

"Yeah you're from... Florida?"

"Originally Bowie, Maryland. Then yeah, Orlando. Moving to LA meant I could kind of disappear. People don't freak out about a familiar face out here."

I nodded, understanding where he was coming from. In LA, celebrity had levels. There was the famous person you might see on the street every day and the famous person that had to be a recluse because they couldn't go anywhere, not without a mob of people surrounding them. That level of celebrity made me uncomfortable.

"So, I mean, I get having a dog. I love them, myself. Been thinking about getting one, actually...."

"Why such a big dog?"

JC nodded while smoothing down the golden hairs on Barksdale's belly. I smiled at them both. "A friend of my dad's breeds them. We used to always go visit the puppies on the farm. But we only saw them as puppies. I don't think I ever had a real understanding of just how... big... Mastiffs get. I mean I knew, but..."

I shook my head, then smoothed down the fur across the dog's wide head. He didn't move, except for a lazy wag of his tail.

"A few years ago I had some trouble. I wasn't myself, after it was all over. I needed... something comforting and protective. My dad showed up one day with a puppy from the farm. I took one look at those floppy ears and big, dark eyes and I couldn't say no. But I make my dad buy his dog food, because this thing eats like a horse."

JC laughed, which made Barksdale think it was time to play. He scrambled up onto four legs and barked, then took a lap around the pool.

"He's... a big dork. We're made for each other."

"How big do you think he'll get?"

"He's got another year of growth at least. The vet says he could bottom out at nearly two hundred pounds. Which is a lot of dog."

"Yeah." JC nodded, watching Barksdale snap his jaws at a butterfly. "He's a sweet animal, though."

"He is. I think I'll keep him."

JC sipped his beer and I sipped mine. The pool filter rumbled to life for a few seconds and then shut back off. If someone had told me I'd be spending my mid-Saturday afternoon trying not to stare at JC Chasez's hairy chest, molded pecs and meaty biceps, I'd have told them they were crazy.

But here I was. Sipping Stella. Trying not to look. It wasn't working.

"So..."

My eyes popped up from where they'd been fixated on the thin trail of hair that led from his chest down into his shorts. He smiled, and I knew full well that he had caught me.

I averted my gaze and tried to hide an embarrassed grin. "So."

"So, you never answered my question."

"What question was that?"

"When I asked if we could go out sometime."

"Oh." I swallowed. Hard. It wasn't that I didn't think he was nice and handsome and... sexy. Goddamn that happy trail was doing things to me. And my loins. And my nipples, I thought, as I folded my arms across my chest. "Listen...I really don't- "

He chuckled, then gulped a huge swallow of beer. "Oh, here we go. You know what? It's fine. You don't have to let me down easy."

"No, it's not... I don't want you think that..."

"Hey, it's okay. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"Really, it's just that-"

"Lena. It's fine." Those gorgeous blue eyes were so wide open and earnest. He reached across the space between us and rubbed my bare arm. The tips of his fingers were rough.

Callouses. I remembered them. The sensation sent a shiver through my body. Involuntarily, I tipped away from him.

"Wow," he said, pulling back. "I really kind of fucked this up, didn't I?"

"No!" I blurted it, too loud and too quickly but I had to. I couldn't let him think my reaction was his fault. "I'm sorry. It's not you at all."

"Are you sure?"

I rubbed my arm where he'd touched me and gave a quick nod of my head. "My trouble a few years ago? The reason I had to get Barksdale...it was a guy. He was a celebrity. I really don't like to date celebrities because of it. Musicians, particularly."

"Oh." He huffed a brief chuckle. "So, all of us have to suffer because one guy is a dick?"

"Well, I don't know if all of the music industry is really suffering..."

"I am. I'd really like to take you out."

"It's not you, JC. It's really not-"

"If it's not me, then don't treat me like it's me."

He stood up then, and splashed out of the pool. Barksdale followed him, ears flopping and tail wagging, to the bench where I'd laid out JC's shirt, socks and shoes. They were very likely still wet, but he gathered them up anyway.

I stood as well, slowly making my way over to where JC stood. "So you're gonna put on wet clothes and leave because I don't want to go out with you?"

"Not at all." He rolled his socks together and tucked them into his sneakers, which were still wet. His t-shirt still bore dark spots but went over his head. "I actually have to get going. But for what it's worth, I do I think you want to go out with me and you're letting some rule make the decision for you. Based off of some guy that I don't know. Some guy that isn't me."

"Look, I told you I had some trouble-"

"And I'm really sympathetic to that. But..." He shook his head. "Maybe you're right. It wouldn't be a good idea. At any rate, you turned me down. No means no, right?"

He dug into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. "Thanks for taking care of that mud. It was nice to meet you again. And the dog. See you around." Toting his socks and shoes, he ambled down the hill to where I assumed he'd parked.

He never looked back.

I sighed, watching his figure grow smaller and smaller in the distance. "Well. I really kinda fucked that up, didn't I, Barksdale?" He sat up and yawned, flapping his tail against the ground. "Let's go get some dinner, huh?"