Channing heard a light tapping sound at his door. Since he was half asleep he wasn’t sure if he had actually heard it or if his mind was playing tricks on him in the middle of the night. He heard it again *tap tap*. Before he could respond to the noise he saw his bedroom door creek open slowly and a thin figure blocking the light in the hallway from flooding into his room.

"Channing…you still up?" her voice was soft. Almost childlike.

"Yeah I’m up" he said sleepily but with concern evident in his voice "is something wrong?"

Reini stood in the door way digging her right foot into the carpet and fidgeting with the small white wife beater she had on. She didn’t know how to ask the next question.

"No, nothings wrong. I was just wondering if umm…I wanted to know if its ok with you…"

Channing knew what she wanted by the way she kept eyeballing the bed. She had slept in his bed every night this week. At first he was slightly weirded out by the fact that she wanted to sleep in his bed all the time, but after a while he got kind of used to it and now it just sort of felt right. They had been living together for three months now but this was the first time that she had ever spent an entire week sleeping with him. He would have thought that by now she would be comfortable asking him if she could stay in his bed for the night. Hell by now she should have known that she no longer had to ask.

Slowly pulling his comforter back he patted the spot next to him. Although it was dark he could see her face light up like a Christmas tree. She always looked so adorable to him. Especially tonight -it was funny how she always managed to incorporate something childlike into anything she did-skipping over to the bed in her wife beater and little boys Incredible Hulk briefs.

Easing her way under the comforter she snuggled in close to him placing a light kiss on his cheek.

"Thanks Channing. Really I mean it." she paused as if not sure what to say next. He could hear the sob in her voice "I’m really glad that I met you…you’ll never know how much you really mean to me."

"Reini? What’s wrong babe? C’mon don’t cry." Channing was absolutely confused. He knew that she didn’t like sleeping alone. He thought that maybe she was still just a little home sick or at the absolute worst a little afraid of the dark, but now he wasn’t so sure. Maybe there was a whole lot more to her not wanting to sleep alone than he first thought.

Brushing a strand of hair away from her face he kissed her forehead lightly. When he moved back to look at her he noticed a long scar that ran almost the entire length of her hairline on the right side of her head. Reini could feel him staring at her scar and quickly turned her back to him.

Turning her back over to face him Channing now saw a fresh trail of tears streaming down her face. Gently he traced the scar with his index finger and place a kiss on it.

"I wont ask. I‘ll never ask I promise." he spoke softly "but if you ever want to confide in me…I would never EVER betray your trust."

He didn’t say anything else and neither did she. Reini didn’t tell Channing her secrets that night, but just knowing that she could was more than enough.

That was the last night that she slept in his bed. Over the next couple of weeks he would hear the light pat of her feet against the wood floor and see her shadow underneath his bedroom door. But she never knocked again not even once, never made a sound outside of his door. She would just stand there for a minute or two and then the footsteps would retreat back down the hallway. As much as it ate him up inside wanting to know what it was that she had buried so deep inside herself, he kept his promise. She never told and he never asked.

"Flight 256 Tokyo to New York is now boarding…" the voice droned over the airport speakers bringing Channing back to reality. Picking up his carry-on bag Channing headed toward his terminal dreading the 14 hour flight back to the states. He had been in this business a long time, but no matter how many times he traveled he didn’t think that he would ever get used to the jet lag.

*****

When Channing finally arrived home he was beyond tired and wanted nothing more than to sleep for the next week. Deciding to wait until after he slept to unpack, he left his bags in the living room and headed strait for the bed. When he reached his bedroom door he noticed an enveloped taped to his door with just his name written on the outside of it. Knowing that it had been left for him by his roommate he tore the envelope open and read the letter that Reini had left for him

Channing,

I don’t even know where to begin. I guess I’ll start by saying I am deeply sorry for the hurtful things that I said to you the last time we saw each other. I want you to know that I didn’t mean it and I cannot apologize enough four not only what I said, but also for the way that I have been treating you lately. I guess I just wasn’t sure of how to balance my friendship with you with my relationship with Justin. I want you to know however, that as sorry as I am for hurting you I am NOT sorry for the way I feel about Justin. But there has got to be a way a middle ground for you two. Because I refuse to give you up but I also refuse to turn my back on the love that I feel for him. You once told me that our love was a different kind of love an unbreakable kind and that’s why people didn’t understand our friendship , because most people could never give or have that kind of love . Well I think I finally understand that and now I know that you can love more than one person that way. In other words just because I love him that doesn’t mean that I have to stop loving you. So I guess that’s it. I hope that we can work it out when I get back. I am going away with Justin for a couple of weeks but when I get back I’m all yours (I took the liberty of looking at your calendar and I penciled myself in for a whole week!!! Ha ha ha). Anyway I love you and I miss you and I cant wait to see you

Always Yours
Scrappy

Channing read the words over and over again until they sank in. He wasn’t sure what to think of her letter. He had to admit though that it put a smile on his face that she had signed the letter with the nickname that he had given her way back when. Reading her words one last time he stuffed the letter back into the envelope and set it on his dresser. Pulling off his flight clothes he slid into his bed under his…Egyptian cotton sheets? Before he had time to even think about where they came from he caught a glimpse of a card on the pillow next to him in the corner of his eye.

HOPE YOU LIKE ‘EM. 900 THREAD COUNT BABY!!!
NOW YOU HAVE TO FORGIVE ME!

Channing smiled to himself. She was a piece of work, but did she know how to apologize or what?

*****

Justin and Reini had spent nearly two weeks in the Hamptons. When he had first offered to take her to the Hamptons to get away for a couple of weeks Reini was a little bit apprehensive. For one it was barely spring and no one really went to the Hamptons until summer and secondly she wasn’t really sure if she just wanted to drop out of site for that long. But in the end Justin won the battle-anyway maybe a trip together was exactly what they needed. Ever since lunch with his parents things had been a little weird between them.

The trip had turned out to be a complete roller coaster ride. Some days were great, beyond the fairytale that Reini had expected, but that was just some days. Most days…well most days were another story. If they weren’t partying or all over each other they were at each others throats ready to murder one another. Reini could say without hesitation that she had seen sides of Justin that she never would have thought possible. From being out of this world romantic to being an out of this world asshole. He was a true Jekyl and Hyde.

Now here they were their last weekend at his families beautiful home in East Hampton and yet again ready to kill each other.

"WHAT!!" Reini yelled from the upstairs bathroom where she was getting ready for the day.
No answer. "WHAT!" she yelled again more annoyed this time. Good lord the man was bellowing her name like he was dying or something.

"What to you mean WHAT?" Justin asked. Yep it was definitely going to be one of THOSE days.

Reini didn’t bother to answer instead she continued to apply her creamy lilac eye shadow as if he had never even entered the room.

"Oh so now you’re deaf?" Justin asked sarcastically. Then in a much more stern tone he eased next to her right ear and whispered "Ok keep playin’ with me if you want to Reini. And I’ll show you better than I can tell you that I am NOT in the mood for one of your bitchy little attitudes today."

Knowing that he was very serious and not wanting to fight for the last 48 hours of their trip Reini put on her most convincing smile and turned to face Justin. He looked like his father with that scowl on his face. It was scary, literally. At that moment she would have done anything to take that look off of his face.

"I’m sorry baby. I promise I’ll be good tonight." giving each other a light peck they both went back to getting ready for the day.

The rest of the day went on relatively drama free. They had lunch with Usher who was now dating Reini’s friend Reagan at The Maidstone Arms one of the most trendy place to be seen in East Hampton. After lunch the guys went to meet up with some of their other friends to have cigars before a party that Justin would be throwing later that night, while the girls walked around the town and did some serious shopping. Which gave them time to talk candidly without worrying about their significant others over hearing.

"So you and Usher huh!" Reini said raising her eyebrows at her friend.

"Yup ever since The Naughty." Reagan beamed "He’s amazing Ray. He doesn’t seem like he would be but he is just the sweetest, most charming, romantic man that I have ever met in my life. I mean…"

Somewhere after charming Reini quit listening to her friend. She didn’t mean to ignore Reagan but out of nowhere she began to think of Justin and how he sort of reminded her of her father. She couldn’t put her finger on it but something about him reminded her of her dad.

"…just sweep you off your feet you know? Like totally in love out of no where!"

Reagan had stopped her rant and was now looking at Reini with expectation in her eyes. Oh god she wanted her to reply. Reini had no clue what the hell her friend was talking and would be lying if she said that she really even cared.

"Oh of course! Justin’s just great" was that the right answer? Apparently it was since Reagan picked up right where she left off.

"I know what you mean Usher just…" Normally Reini would have gladly dished about her boyfriend too, but right now she just wished that her friend would shut the hell up and quit asking her questions. But she didn’t shut up. In fact she kept going for the rest of the day. By the time they got back to Justin’s beach house all Reini heard was "blah blah blah Usher blah blah blah…"

Stepping through the front door Reini did not expect the site before her when they entered. Justin’s party was in full swing. How long had they been wondering around East Hampton? What time was it? Why hadn’t he called her? Well whatever the answer was Reini knew that she had to get upstairs quickly and quietly and get changed before Justin saw her.

Making a b-line for the stairs she was almost home free when she heard what might as well have been her death sentence.

In a loud and clearly drunk voice JC screamed across the house "Hey J there’s your chick over there!"

Stopping dead in her tracks Reini looked up to see Justin marching her direction. He had that look again, that Randy Timberlake look. She wished that she could just disappear at that very moment. Not saying a word Justin roughly grabbed her by her wrist and escorted her upstairs.
Once in the privacy of their bedroom, on the upper level of his obscenely large home, Justin didn’t waste any time tearing into her about where she had been and why she was late to the party.

"Where the Fuck have you been?" He screamed releasing her wrist and pushing her toward the bed. "Do you even know how bad this looks Reini? Do you!?!" Did he want an answer or was that a rhetorical question. He continued to scream. Rhetorical definitely didn’t need to be answered. "You know I try to take you away from the city to relax and what do you do? Huh? You have to go and fuck it up, running around town with your dumb ass friend doing God knows what!" he paused and for a second looked like he was trying to regain his composure.

"Do you know the meaning of order Reini?" he asked in a voice that was too calm to be comforting.

"Is this a rhetorical question?" as soon as the words left her mouth she wanted to slap herself. She hadn’t meant to say it. It just came out like…like word vomit completely out of her control.

Before she could retract her question she felt a sharp sting run across the entire left side of her face. Placing her hand over left cheek which was now on fire the realization of what had just happened finally sank in. He had just hit her, and hard. Sitting on the bed reeling she looked up at her boyfriend who showed absolutely no sign of regret on his face.

"Don’t even bother coming back down, just go to bed" his voice was cold and left no question about whether he had meant to hit her or not. The look on his face and the tone of his voice said it all. He hit her and on purpose.

Once Justin left the room Reini walked into the bathroom to inspect her face. Slowly raising her head she looked in the mirror. It was already starting to bruise. Reini lifted a shaky hand to the side of her face and with her index finger traced the perfect outline that Justin’s hand left across her face. A single tear escaped her right eye. In a way she felt that she deserved the slap that he had given her. In all actuality she could honestly say that she had expected it much sooner with all the fights that they had been in lately.

Reini didn’t know why, but she didn’t feel any anger toward Justin at all. If anything she was angry at herself. The only thoughts that were running through her head now were ‘I should have known better’ and ‘gotta stop the swelling asap’

Grabbing a towel off the shelf she ran some cold water over it and placed it to her left cheek which was absolutely on fire. Stripping down to just her underwear, she put on one of Justin’s oversized T-shirts and crawled under the covers. She didn’t shed another tear. Instead she closed her eyes and imagined that she was sleeping in Channing’s bed just like she had years ago, and when she finally fell asleep she was there. Back in the city, back in her apartment, back with Channing

Reini spent the remainder of the trip out of sight at the request of Justin. He said that he didn’t want anyone asking dumb questions about her "accident" as he referred to it. He had apologized and then went on some long ass speech about order that Reini could have given a shit less about and then went about life as though nothing had ever happened.

*****

2 days later NYC

It was after midnight when Reini finally got home. Carrying her luggage into her room she quietly changed into her favorite sleep wear. Her old white wife beater and Incredible Hulk briefs. Walking out of her bedroom she made a quick pit stop in the bathroom to make sure that her bruise was carefully concealed and continued on down the hallway.

Almost reaching the stairs that led to the living room Reini stopped in front of the last closed door before the descend down. Standing in front of it quietly she raised her hand to knock, but she couldn’t. She stood there right arm raised for a good five minutes before she continued down the stairs.

Entering the kitchen to get a glass of water and clear her head she gave herself a little pep talk as she ran the tap.

"You can sleep by yourself stupid. For god sake your almost 21. Grow up!" Pressing her palms flat against the counter top she began to take deep breathes to calm herself down a little. Why was she freaking out like this? She didn’t understand. And why in gods name had she gotten the urge to go sleep with Channing again? It had been over three years since she had pulled a ‘can I sleep with you tonight?’, but for some reason his bed was the only place she wanted to be at this moment.

Turning off the kitchen light she headed back up the stairs toward her bedroom. But on the way she stopped again just outside Channing’s door. Staring at it for a moment she continued on to her own room. Entering her room she turned off her light and headed over to the bed. Laying her head down on her pillow she felt something crunch beneath the weight of her head. Flipping on her nightstand light she looked on her pillow and smiled. It was a note from Channing.

Scrappy

thanx for the sheets they’re great!!
And yes you are forgiven you know I cant
Stay mad at you!!

Luv ya 2 much
Chan
P.S. I saw your feet 5 minutes ago. You know my door is always open

Reini read the last line of the note that Channing had left her over and over again. For some reason it warmed her heart to know that he knew her so well. God she missed him and now she wasn’t going to waste anymore time pretending like she didn’t. Throwing her covers back she jumped out of bed and headed strait for Channing’s room. Approaching the door she tapped on it twice lightly and then slowly pushed it open.

Entering the room slowly she looked up at her friend who was already staring back at her with the biggest smile on his face. Reini couldn’t help but to smile back. Neither of them saying a word Channing pulled back his covers and patted the spot next to him on the bed. Half walking and half running Reini jumped into her friends bed and quickly made herself comfortable. Pulling the covers over both of them Channing scooted his roommate closer and wrapped his arms around her.

"You know what I was thinking about in the almost month that we haven’t seen each other?" Channing asked quietly

"How big of a bitch I am?" they both laughed.

"That too" laughing Reini gave Channing the best punch she could from the angle she was laying "no but seriously I was thinking that I’ve known you for four years but I don’t really know you" Channing stopped like he was thinking for a moment "You know what I mean?"

"No I really don’t. I thought we knew each other pretty well actually" Reini wasn’t sure where this was going but she had a pretty good guess.

Hearing that her voice was already getting defensive Channing decided to drop it. "Never mind. I guess I was just over analyzing shit."

They laid there quietly for a good hour - both pretending to be asleep - listening to one another breathe. Reini knew what Channing was talking about before and she wanted to tell him, really she did. But where was she supposed to begin and was she ready to open that can of worms yet? If she was ever going to tell anyone who better than Channing. She trusted him more than anyone in the world. Taking in a deep breathe she broke the silence.

"When I was little…" she could feel the tears burning her eyes already "my brother used to hold me in his arms every night until I fell asleep." she paused but Channing knew that it wasn’t his turn to talk yet and didn’t want to run the chance of her clamming back up.

"I was always scared and he made me feel so safe." she stopped again and Channing decided to speak.

"What were you scared of?" he asked, his voice shaking with concern.

"My father" as soon as the words came out Reini began to sob. Pulling her into his arms Channing held her as tight as he could while she continued sobbing into his chest. After a couple of minutes of hysterical crying Reini wiped her eyes and gazed up at Channing , now wanting to tell him everything.

"My father hated me." seeing the look of disbelief in his face Reini decided to explain further. "When he found out that my mother was pregnant he wanted her to get an abortion, but being that my mother was catholic…well you get it. Anyway since she wouldn’t abort he beat her while she was pregnant with me. One night he beat her so bad that she went into labor. I was 3 months premature."

Channing couldn’t believe what he was hearing. What kind of man would do that to a woman. He knew that his face must have been priceless at that moment and he did his best to try to hide it . He wanted to hear the rest of her story.
"Anyway I watched my father beat my mother up until I was about eight. I guess that’s when he decided I was old enough to get a little piece of the action. I remember the first time it happened." Reini closed her eyes and saw that day as if she were living it again.

She had been outside with her older brothers Carmine and Joey. When her father called her in to tell her to go to the grocery store with her mother. She had asked him why she couldn’t stay and play football with the boys, and that was all it took. The next thing she knew her father was telling her to hold on to the bathroom sink and that if her mother heard her she would get it worse. Clenching the sink she closed her eyes as tight as she could and awaited what was next. Then she felt it…the horrible pain of her fathers thick black belt against her back. Holding tighter to the sink she gritted her teeth in preparation for the next blow. And it came, with more force than the first. And then another and another and another, the crack of his belt on her back echoing through the entire house.

Reini turned her head toward Channing and opened her eyes. She couldn’t believe what she saw. Channing had tears streaming down his face. She hadn’t realized until that moment that she had relived the moment out loud. But she couldn’t stop. Now that she was telling him she had to get it all out.

"He left me there in the bathroom curled up on the floor like a scared little animal. I couldn’t even walk. All I could think about was the pain. The next thing I can remember is laying in Carmine’s bed with an ice cold towel on my back, and him brushing my hair back with his fingers telling me that it was gonna be ok.". Reaching up to Channing’s face she brushed a tear from his cheek. "from that night on Carmine was always taking up for me, getting me out of trouble at home and everywhere else. I slept in his bed every night…until he went away."

Channing didn’t know how to process the information that his friend had just given him. He knew that Reini had had a hard life but he had no idea that it was that bad. Channing didn’t think that there was anything wrong with spanking but what she had just described to him wasn’t even child abuse it was assault.

"Wow Ray. I just…I mean…I really don’t even know what to say."

The air was thick in the room now. Oh god. Now he thought that she was crazy or something. Reini couldn’t breathe. She knew that it was a bad idea to tell him, but just as she was about to get out of the bed he squeezed her tighter and placed a light kiss between her eyebrows. He didn’t say anything else. He didn’t have to. Reini didn’t say another word either. Nothing else about her childhood or anything about what had happened with Justin in the Hamptons. She just let her friend hold her and protect her, and even if it was just for that brief moment in time...that was enough.