"No," I chuckle, closing my eyes as I try not to believe my best friend of nearly 20 years, "she wouldn't do that."

"She seemed happy to be all over him," he reiterates.

"I know the mother to my kids and the woman I plan to marry."

"She was, I swear."

I fall back against the couch, defeated. I'm almost fucking 40 and dealing with this shit, the same shit my best friend had when he was more than a decade younger. "I'll talk to her, J."

"I'm telling you, man, she's cheating or something. I know."

"How? Is it because you're still messing around with Angie behind Jessica's back even after all these years and empty promises, lying to Jessica about Angie's baby not being yours?" I fire at him, ready to snap.

"Don't be surprised if it ends up in the papers or something."

I'm mad as hell by the time she'd come in the door, left to stew in my own pot and fail to greet her when she walks in. "Hey, baby," comes her usual sweet voice.

"Oh, 'baby'?" I snarkily retort, the kids heading upstairs for their showers.

"What's your problem?"

"Hmm, not now. After they go to bed."

I get up, walking into the kitchen as I finish my 9th beer since hearing Justin tell me what he did. "No, I want and deserve to know right now what crawled up your ass. You never drink and we agreed not to keep secrets," she forcibly reminds me, stepping closer to me.

Her arms wrap around me and hugs me from behind, trying to be understanding. I shove her arms off me and move away from her. I close the fridge without grabbing another drink, walking onto our back porch to lean on the railing we had built together two years ago. This whole property screams us, tells our story and this is the first possible fight we've ever had over anything like this. She talked to me over the same accusation, having it resolved pretty quickly. I don't think this one will be so easy to dissolve or work through. "Justin saw you kissing Ryan," I softly tell her.

"What?" she giggles.

"Ryan Gosling."

She laughs harder. "It was for the video to the next single, I told you about it."

"He saw it at the fucking club!" I shout, slamming my hand against the rail.

"I can recall you being with Eva while girls were all over you for your ADLIDAS video and it was fucking okay to do everything you did on that set cuz it WASN'T FUCKING REAL?!" she retorts.

I spin on my heel to face her, my hand flying to her forearm to tightly grip it and yank her along beside me. "Studio, now," I growl angrily.

"Ow! Josh, let go. You're hurting me."

I hear feet coming toward us. "Go to bed, mommy and I need to talk. Good night, see you in the morning."

"Fine, see you in the morning. Love you." I hear Aaliyah climb a few steps. "No, Koly, they need to talk. They said good night. I'll read to you and Zandry," she tells her baby brother.

I open the studio door and pull Sam toward the door. "Go." I point down the steps and she obliges, not too happily. I watch her tight black jean covered ass switch from side to side while her mint green top hardly moves as she descends the stairs into our studio space. I lock the door and flick on the recording light, following her after. She stands in the middle of the room, arms crossed over her chest and almost as pissed as I am. I've never been the guy to put his hands on a girl in a violent manner, but I have screamed at the top of my lungs at women. I shake my head and a nasty snarl envelopes my face.

"I told you he was auditioning for the romantic interest for the Animal video and you said fine. He's the guy I leave in it for you," she softly reminds me, her voice an angry whisper as she rubs her forearm and I note that her hand is near her shoulder.

She won't look at me. I fucked up, beginning to become him, like them and it's one thing I would hate myself for turning into. Her cell phone rings and she jumps, reaching for it without her eyes meeting mine. "Hello?" she meekly answers. "No, Tina, I can't tonight. Uh," she replies to the caller. "NO! No, no, no. Everything is fine," she rambles quickly, fearfully responding.

I close my eyes, pulling my bottom lip into my mouth and release a breath. "She can come over if it's Christina," I softly tell her, knowing I need someone to set me straight before I become like the monster she left behind.

"He says you can come over. Mmmmm. Yeah."

She finishes up her call and I text Ryan, inviting him over as well. I step over to her and she shrinks away. I know I fucked up big time. She grew up abused by her step dad berating her and an aunt that hit her, treating her the way I just did. Her phone screams like Yoshi, her thing for Nick and I wince as if he were to strike me. I take a deep breath and listen for a knock, knowing Christina has most of the info for access to my LA and Winter Park homes. She is on the security list for Sam's Tampa place. I turn off the recording light and slump down on the couch, scared that I might actually lose the love of my life and my five beautiful kids due to my reaction tonight. "Please come sit," I calmly request.

She does, but on the opposite end of the couch. I can't expect anything more after what I'd done. I hear Christina's familiar knock on the door, it opening slowly. She smiles, looks at Sam and a scowl takes its place in a fraction of a second. "What did you do?"

"I fucked up, acted the way I know I shouldn't have."

"She backtracked," she states, ripshit with me. She has all right to be. I nod, it’s not worth attempting to deny that I caused something I had sworn not to do. I promised our friends and families, but I had failed over a ridiculous thing we could have just talked about and resolved without a fight. I let my past invade my life, let the fear of losing her consume me and let it make a monster out of me in the worst way possible. "You know damn fucking well that this could happen! I should call Nick and his family and tell them, but I’m not going to. I’m going to give you the benefit of a doubt and you have one week to fix this whole thing, make progress or I do call," she snaps at me.

"Thank you." She walks out of the house, telling Tyler to make sure I fix the ‘issue’ before slamming the door on her way out.

"Why would you get all up in arms about this? She’s never lied to you, looked at any man but you and you react like that?!" my little brother screams at me in the studio after he had called Lance to take her for the night, giving her time to gain her bearings again.

"Justin said-"

"Fuck Justin! I know you’ve known each other for upwards of 20 years, but he’s just a scapegoat and she’s the woman you love, the same one who gave you twins, said yes to being your wife, allowed you to adopt her kids, sings your praises every chance she gets, does everything you ask of her when she can, thanks God for you everyday, the reason you even considered marriage and kids!"

"I know, man! I let what he said get to me, drank before sh-"

He points at me angrily. "That’s where you began fucking up," he growls.