Hands touch, eyes meet,
sudden silence, sudden heat
hearts leap in a giddy world.
He could be that boy,
but I'm not that girl

He looked tired tonight, she thought.  She smiled as he gave a brief wave as he was introduced as one of the judges on America’s Best Dance Crew.  She wondered how many other people were watching the show just to catch a glimpse of JC.  How many of them would notice the dark circles under his eyes that he couldn’t quite hide?

This was the only place she could observe him and let her emotions run free.  No one knew the depth of her emotions for the man they showed ever so briefly on the screen.  Least of all JC. 

Don't dream too far,
don't lose sight of who you are,
don't remember that rush of joy.
He could be that boy,
I'm not that girl

He could never know how she felt.  He was the man of her dreams, but so far out of reach.  She tried to list off the reasons she knew it would never work – they lived so far apart; he was a well known public figure, she was a nobody; he was wealthy, she was barely making ends meet; he had thousands of women after him, she wanted just one man - him. 

Every so often we long to steal,
to the land of what might have been,
but that doesn't soften the ache we feel
when reality sets back
in Blythe smile, lithe limb
she who's winsome, she wins him,
gold hair with a gentle curl,
that's the girl he chose and heaven knows,
I'm not that girl

A glimpse of the blond woman in the background had her plummeting back to reality.  His current girlfriend of the month sat behind him, trying to get on television as much as possible.  Why couldn’t JC see that the women he went out with were just out for his money and the status he could give them?

She wasn’t like that.  Why couldn’t he see that?

Don't wish, don't start
wishing only wounds the heart,
I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl,
there's a girl I know,
he loves her so,
I'm not that girl. 

Why did she torture herself like this?  She knew what she had to do, even though her heart was breaking.  She smiled as JC gave his final comments about the team that had just finished performing.  His words of wisdom came from his deep desire to see the teams succeed.  He always tried to be fair and get the teams to improve their dancing, it was one of things she loved most about him. 

One more commercial break and the show would be over.  She knew what would happen then.  She shook herself, knowing that what she was about to do was the right thing.  She almost jumped out of her skin when the phone rang.  He would know that the show was finished so he would be calling to see what she thought.  They had talked after every show aired, but she knew that this would be the final time. She couldn't take it anymore. 

One more ring and her voicemail would kick in. 

Grabbing the phone, she tried to hide the tears in her voice.  “Hello?”

“Well, what did you think?”

“I think we need to talk, Jace.”

I’m not that girl.

Song Credit – I’m Not That Girl from Wicked