=Chapter Twenty=Bitter hearts=

I sat on the floor in complete and utter shock as I watched Kenzie...no that wasn't her name. Her name was Lola. Whatever the hell her name was. All I knew is that the woman that I was in love with just told me that she wasn't who I thought she was. She was her twin sister. It tore me apart to see her cry like that but then I remembered why she was crying. What she'd done to me. What she'd done to the world. This wasn't just going to affect me. It was going to affect the whole entire world. Just think what will happen when they find out about this.

This was bound to get out rather quickly with all the people that were in the restaurant. The media was going to go into a frenzy when they heard about this. I wouldn't be surprised if word got out and the media would be all over this by tomorrow. That's how vicious the media can be. They'd be demanding interviews with me non stop. And with Kenzie...damn it that's not her name. Well I guess they'll be wanting an interview with the real Kenzie but they'll also be wanting to talk to Lola as well.

But to be honest, they deserve whatever the media was going to hand them. They'll get a lashing from the fans. The fans could completely turn on them and possibly me. I'll get accused of knowing about this whole charade. I'll deny about knowing about it but no one will ever really believe me. And to be honest, I wouldn't blame them.

I didn't realize that I was still sitting there on the ground fuming until I felt a hand on my shoulder. I glanced up and saw Tiny standing there. He had a concerned look on his face.

"Come on, Justin. Let's go," he said as he tried to help me up but I pushed him away. I didn't want to be touched right now. I wanted to be alone. "People are staring."

"I don't give a fuck," I yelled as I pushed myself off the floor. "I just had my fucking heart tore out. Do you really think I care what any of these damn people think of me right now? No I don't. They can all go to hell for all I care." I knew my outburst was a little over the top but I couldn't hold it back. It was true. At the moment I could really careless what anyone thought. I didn't even know what I was thinking. My head was a mess right now.

I needed to get out of there. I needed to find a place where I could think. I pushed past Tiny and made my way out of the restaurant. I wasn't concerned with the bill for the dinner. I knew Tiny would take care of it. All I was concerned about was getting out of the damn restaurant and getting away from the people.

=

I closed my eyes and leaned up against the cool wall as Tiny unlocked my room in the hotel. My head was spinning. I could barely stand up. The room was spinning even with my eyes closed. I hadn't had this much to drink in a long time. I knew that it wasn't something that I should have done but I wanted something to get my mind off of everything.

Of course that only lasted for a few moments. Then I started to think about why I was there at the bar. And that caused me to drink even more.  I always forget that I tend to think more when I'm drinking. For whatever reason my mind becomes clear and I can actually think. This was the one time that I'd wished that didn't happen.

"Come on," Tiny said as I felt his hand on my arm. He pulled me away from the cool wall and helped me in the door. As soon as I walked in my eyes shot open. The scent of the woman that I loved was still in the room. Her light and airy perfume played with my senses. A rushed of anger started to make it's was through my body. I was going to have to get a new room. I was going to have to get practically new everything.

Everything I owned had her scent on it in one way or another. Everything would have to be thrown out and new things would have to be bought. My house would have to be completely redone. I don't think I could walk into that house everyday and see her things, see everything that reminded me of her. I'd probably just sell that house and buy another. I had enough money to do whatever I wanted. Hell if I wanted I could just bulldoze the whole house and build another from scratch. Make it everything that she hated. Of course I knew that would never work because she and I liked the same kinds of things. I'd be miserable in that place.

"Stupid bitch," I mumbled as I pulled my arm out of Tiny's grasp. Doing so almost sent me to the floor but I regained my balance by grabbing a hold of the wall. I leaned my head against the wall and closed my eyes. The room continued to spin but it wasn't as bad as it had been. The coolness of the wall was helping.

"Justin?" Tiny asked. I grunted for him to continue. "You need to get some sleep. Come on let's get you to your room." Tiny reached out and grabbed my shoulders. He pulled me away from the wall and started to guide me toward the bedroom. I willingly went along with it until I realized where I was going.

I was going to the same room, the same bed where I had just made love to the woman that I loved not twenty-four hours ago. The same room where she'd slip into her nightgown that hugged her curves in the right places. The same room where I was about to try and sleep. The same room where her scent was the strongest through out the whole place.

"Fuck no, I am not going in there," I yelled as my eyes snapped open and I struggled to get out of Tiny's grasp. "There is no fucking way I am going into that room. Not with everything that has gone on in there. I'm done with this whole damn place. I need to get out of here. I need to get another room."

"Calm down, Justin," Tiny said as he threw his arms up in the air.

"Calm down? You want me to be calm? That's a great concept why didn't I think of that? Oh wait that's right, I have but you know what? It doesn't fucking work. How the fuck do you expect me to be calm when I just had the woman that I was planning on marrying tell me that she'd been lying to me for the past seven months? Would you be calm if that happened to you?" I yelled as I began to throw my arms around in the air. I knew I shouldn't be taking this out of Tiny. It wasn't right. But I knew he wouldn't hold it against me. He'd forgive me. I continued on my rant until I saw Tiny's face change. He got a shocked look on his face. I glared at him. This wasn't the first time that he'd seen me go on a rant so I wasn't pleased with the fact that he was staring at me like that.

"Uh, Justin?" He asked as he reached out for my arm. I stepped back to make sure that I wasn't in his reach. I didn't want him to touch me. I didn't want anyone to touch me. I wanted to left alone.

"What?" I yelled. He didn't say anything just continued to stare. Then I realized that he wasn't looking at me. He was looking behind me at something. I slowly turned around and came face to face with a face that I was not pleased to see. Lola stood in the doorway of our room. Her eyes were bloodshot and her hair was a mess. Make up was stained on her cheeks. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Getting my things," she answered. She folded her arms over her chest and looked down at the ground.

"Good, then you can get the hell out of here." I watched Lola's shoulders slump at my words. I felt my heart fall. Well what was left of my heart. The woman standing in front of me had stolen the rest and it was like she was refusing to give it back. She drew in a ragged breath. I did the same. My heart ached to see her like this. I wanted to reach out and hold her in my arms. Tell her everything was going to be all right. That I forgave her but I knew I couldn't. And I don't think I ever will.

"I'm sorry," she whispered and retreated back into the bedroom. I heard her rustling around in the room for her things. After a few long moments she came back out with a bag over her shoulder. She glanced up at me as she passed. Her eyes were filled with tears. She quickly looked away and over at Tiny. He stood there staring at her.

She started toward the door grabbing a few things that were hers that were scattered about. She cradled them in her arms as she carried her bag to the door. I watched her small figure sway as she walked away. Her fiery red hair looked brighter against her dark blue strapless dress. She reached out for the door handle and put her hand on the handle but did not turn it. She stared down at her hand.

She lifted her hand and I saw what she was staring at. She still had the ring on her finger. She'd never given it back to me. I heard her take in a sharp breath and I could hear her beginning to cry. Lola slowly slipped the ring off her finger and turned. She kept her eyes on the ground making sure that she didn't make eye contact with me. And to be honest I was glad that she did. I wasn't sure if I could handle it if her eyes met mine.

"You probably want this back," she whimpered as she held out the ring. She still kept her eyes on the ground. I swallowed hard and nodded slightly. I slowly approached her as I held out my hand. She hesitated for a brief moment but then let the ring fall into my hand. "I'm sorry." She turned and started back toward the door.

"Lola," I said. She stopped and turned slightly. She looked at me over her shoulder. Still not making eye contact with me. "Tell me, why'd you do it?" I could have sworn I heard her laugh a little but if she did it was so low that I wasn't sure if she had.

"For my sister. She needed help. I didn't want to do it at first. I've wanted nothing to do with the limelight. Never have and to be honest, I'm actually happy that I'll be out of it now. Of course I'm not happy that I had to hurt you to get out," she answered with a small shrug. "Justin?" I didn't answer. I'd lost my words. She turned and looked me in the eyes this time. I could see the agonizing pain she was in. "I'm truly sorry. I never meant for this to happen. I understand if you don't believe me but there is one thing that I want you to believe and it's the honest to god truth." She took a deep breath. "I love you.  I love you with all my heart and I'm so very sorry that it had to end this way."

Lola looked away again. I watched her reach for the handle and turn it this time. I heard her sigh and open up the door. She stepped out and closed the door behind her. I stood there staring at the door. I had the sudden urge to run after her to stop her from leaving me. Even after everything that had happened. I started to take a step but stopped myself. What was I going to do if I caught up to her? There wasn't anything more to say. We were done. Finished. There was no more of us.