I know I should be excited. I know I should be happy that I'm in Hawaii. I mean, especially since I'd only been there once before. And when I went the last time it wasn't much of a vacation like this was. I was there on a school trip last time and I wasn't able to enjoy my time in Hawaii because I had to study the whole time.

I should be happy that I'm in such a beautiful place as Hawaii but I can't bring myself to be. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I'm supposed to break up with Justin sometime on this trip. This was complete bad timing on his part. Of course he doesn't know it.

I have this gut wrenching feeling in the pit of my stomach. Maybe it has to do with the reality of all of this is coming to an end. I have to break up with Justin. Because Kenzie is coming back in two weeks. She finally got the okay from our mother. Or maybe it has nothing to do with any of that. Maybe it has to do with the terrible feeling I have that something ten times more important than that is going to happen. What that this is, I don't know. And to be honest, I don't want to know. I just hope that I'm completely wrong.

I was beginning to wonder why I hadn't just told Justin everything in the beginning. That way he could get to know the real me behind closed doors. And we'd be able to go along with this charade together. It would have made things a whole lot easier. I wouldn't be in the predicament that I'm in right now. And I wouldn't have to lie about every damn thing.

I started to play with my hair and chew on my bottom lip as Justin and I walked into the restaurant. I glanced around the fancy restaurant as we stopped to talk to the hostess. I wasn't paying any attention to what Justin and the hostess were talking about. My head was elsewhere. I was trying to figure out what was going on here. I mean, I know we would go out to a nice dinner once or twice while we were here. But tonight was different. There was just a feeling in the air that made the night different.

After a few moments the hostess started to walk away. Justin began to follow her, he pulled me behind him as he walked. I stumbled after him at first then finally caught myself and began walking normally. The hostess walked us outside onto a deck with a candle lit table. The sun was just beginning to set. Justin let go of my hand and pulled out my chair for me. I glanced up at him and smiled a little. I sat down and flipped open up the menu that the hostess had set down on the table. I wasn't really paying much attention to what was in front of me.

The words on the menu looked like gibberish to me at the moment. I couldn't bring myself to concentrate on anything. I looked up from the jumbled words when I heard Justin say my name. Well of course it wasn't my since he didn't even know what it was but when he said Kenzie's.

"Huh? I'm sorry, what was that?" I asked as I looked at him. He laughed lightly and shook his head. He reached across the table and took my hand.

"I said you look beautiful tonight," Justin answered. I smiled and felt my cheeks getting hot. I don't know what it was but every time he commented on how beautiful I looked I always got embarrassed. No matter how hard I tried to fight it. I always did. That was one of the things that I was going to miss.

I was going to miss the way he laughed at just about everything I did. Even if he knew it would piss me off. But deep down I knew I wasn't mad at him. I could never get mad at him. Not for long at least. I was going to miss the way we made love. I loved being that close to him. I had always been a person that didn't like a lot of physical contact. But when I met Justin that all changed. I wanted to be as close as I could get to him. I was going to miss the physical contact that we had. I was going to miss the nights where we just stayed up talking. Not doing anything else just talking. Me lying in his arms and him playing with my hair.

I was going to miss how sexy he was when he was upset. I know it's not right but there were a few times that I would irate him just to see him upset. So I could see him when he was like that. I know it's wrong but I couldn't stop myself. Just like I couldn't stop myself from ending all of this.

"So, what are going to have?" Justin asked. I glanced at the menu. I hadn't been reading the menu. Hell I couldn't read what the first damn thing on the menu was. My head was not working properly.

"I have no idea," I answered with a laugh, "You order for me. There's too much to pick from. Just pick something. You know what I like." Justin laughed. I was going to miss that laugh. I think that was going to be the thing that I missed the most. His laugh.

"All right." He nodded and looked back down at the menu. I laid mine back on the table and stared at the candle sitting on the table. I'd always been fascinated with fire. It was so beautiful but yet at the same time so destructive. I guess in a way I was like the fire. Pretty but destructive deep down. And once the fire started to spread it was hard to kill.

=

The waitress took my empty plate. How I had emptied the plate I'm not sure. I hadn't even tasted the food. I'm not even sure what Justin had ordered me. I grabbed my glass of wine and took a sip. I normally don't drink wine but tonight was different. I wanted the alcohol. I didn't want to get drunk but I wanted a buzz. So I could possibly blame my behavior on the wine. I tipped the glass up and finished the rest of the wine. I set the empty glass on the table. Justin was sitting there eyeing me. I looked away and out at the ocean.

The sky was a rainbow of colors. It was gorgeous. I hadn't seen anything more beautiful. A light breeze was starting to come up. But it wasn't a cool breeze but a warm one. It felt good on my bare skin. I glanced down at the hem of my dress as I began to play with it. My hands were trembling. My stomach was starting to churn again.

"Do you suppose we could get some champagne?" Justin asked the waitress. I looked up as soon as he said champagne. That's when I knew something was going on. Something that I was dreading.

"Champagne? Are you trying to get me drunk?" I teased with a smile. "First the wine now champagne. You don't need to get me drunk to sleep with you, you know that don't you."

"Really? And all this time..." Justin teased back as he smiled. After a few minutes the waitress came back with two glasses of champagne. She set them down. Justin picked up his and I did the same. Justin tipped his glass towards mine. I did the same to his. Our glasses clinked together. I brought the glass up to my lips and began to take a drink.

Something at the bottom of the glass caught my eye. I stopped drinking but still held the glass to my lips as I stared at the bottom of the glass. It couldn't be what I thought it was. No, there was not way. He...couldn't. He shouldn't. Oh dear god. I looked at Justin over the edge of the glass. He had a big smile on his face. I closed my eyes as I lowered the glass and set it on the table.

I prayed that I'd only imagined it. I prayed that this was all just a horrible nightmare. Don't get me wrong. I would love this but not in the situation that I'm in right now. Not now. Not ever. Not like this. I slowly opened my eyes and stared at the glass. I swore under my breath as I saw what I had been praying wasn't there. A sparkling diamond ring was sitting at the bottom of the glass.

My breathing started to quicken. My head started to spin. This was not happening. It shouldn't be happening. I was supposed to break up with him this week. My heart started to race. I looked over at Justin as he got up from his chair. He walked over to my side of the table and fished the ring out of the glass. He wiped it off and knelt down in front of me. He reached out and took my hand.

I glanced around the restaurant. There were several tables looking over at us. Everyone had a smile on their face. I didn't want to do this right now. Especially right now. Not with everyone watching. My vision started to blur from the tears that were starting to form. Damn it. Why did this have to happen? Why? Why did I have to break his heart like this? Why now? Why ever?

"McKenzie, I know we've only been together for a short time but these past seven months have been the best seven months of my life. You are my world. I love you with all of my heart. I would do anything for you. So will you do me something? Will you marry me?" Justin asked as he gentle slipped the ring on my finger. I looked down at the ring on my finger. My hands were shaking. The silver band of the ring sparkled. The diamond looked like one carat. It was a princess cut.

I brought my other hand up to my mouth. I shook my head slightly and closed my eyes. As soon as I did the tears started to fall. I couldn't stop them. I covered my face with both of my hands and continued to cry.

"Hey, baby, it's okay," Justin whispered in my ear as he wrapped his arms around me. I didn't want him this close to me right now. He needed to get away from me. Feeling his skin on mine was making this worse. Smelling his scent was not helping at all.

"I can't," I said through my tears. Justin moved away from me. I opened up my eyes and stared at him. He had a confused look on his face. He started to open up his mouth and I'm sure ask what I was talking about but I beat him to it, "Justin, I can't marry you. I'm sorry."

Justin knelt there staring at me. He didn't say anything. I could see that his heart was breaking. And it broke my heart. Damn this whole situation we were in. Damn it all to hell. Why did I have to agree to do this for Kenzie? Why? Damn it, I hated her right now. Even though I knew I shouldn't be mad at her. I should be mad at myself. I should have told Justin from the very beginning. I should have just told Kenzie no from the get go. Then I would never have gotten into this situation. Then I wouldn't have to break Justin's heart like I'm doing right now. Damn all of this to hell.

"Why?" Justin asked. I could hear the tears in his voice. I almost started crying harder when I heard the tears in his voice.

"I'm not who you think I am," I answered. I took a deep breath as I reached up and wiped the tears off my face. This was it. I was going to tell Justin everything. "I'm not Kenzie, I'm her sister, Lola. I've been pretending to be Kenzie for the last seven months." I stared at Justin hoping that he would say something. But he didn't. He just continued to stare at me. "Justin, please say something."

"What am I supposed to say?" Justin whispered after a long pause. He looked away from me and stared out at the ocean. The tears started to come again. It hurt me to hear the pain in his voice. I wanted to take back everything that I had said and done. I wanted to say something that would make his pain stop but I knew I couldn't. There was no way that I could do that. Not now. And probably not ever. "So...everything you've said to me the past several months has been a lie?"

When he looked at back me I leaned back in my chair. He was angry. Extremely angry. I'd never seen him this upset before. And he had a right to be this mad. I understood that but it still caught me off guard.

"No...not everything," I answered just above a whisper. "I really do love you."

"You expect me to believe that," Justin scoffed. I bit my lip. He did have a point. Of course I didn't think he would believe me after what I had just told. I looked down at the ground. I started to open my mouth to say something but my words died. There was no point in arguing with him. He was right. If our roles were reversed I wouldn't believe a single word he said.

"I'm sorry," I said, it was barely audible. I wasn't even sure if I'd even said the words. I slowly stood and pushed the chair away slightly. I grabbed my purse that I'd hung over the back of chair. I couldn't look at Justin. I couldn't see the pain in his eyes anymore. I turned before I could look at him and walked out of the restaurant. Tears streaming down my face the whole time.­­