CHAPTER:

Later that night at the hotel:

To say this was a hard day on Kara would be a light statement.  Kara had to not only deal with the fiasco of the hotel almost screwing up their reservations, but she had to deal with the girl that was her temp at the WEG corporation, have some two bit twig bitch get her private email account, harass and threaten not only her but Carly as well, tell Carly that she now needed security with her anytime she left her room even if it was to go right across the hall to see Jonathan, (which thank fully Carly took rather well.)

She was supposed to go to the show tonight but she was so emotionally drained, thank god Kelly knew what was going on with the boys she took the reins and let Kara have the time to be alone. 

Alone.

One thing she really didn’t want to be but at the same time she did.  Granted she wasn’t all alone.  She got to have big Mike be there with her at the hotel.  Mike was good people in Kara’s eyes.  He knew she didn’t eat since before they left he mom’s house so he took the liberty of ordering pizza and having the Hotel Security bring it up to them. 

Kara was happy to see that he got food, but only if her nerves would let her eat.  Granted the was no way that bitch was going to get to her but she felt as if she was being watched now…her every move and where about was going to be seen by this…this…psycho.

Kara thanked Mike for the food and retreated to the bathroom to soak in the big bathtub.  She dug through her bag, found the salts, bubbles as well as her ipod with the mini stereo.  She set everything up, hit play on the ipod and soaked right into the tub. 

Of course the first song she heard she started to relax.  True she liked her pop to heavy rock music but tonight she set her ipod right to something she used to listen to after Nate had passed and she felt how she was feeling now.  She sighed and closed her eyes listening to the music. 

As she soaked in the tub she started to form words on her own. She didn't stay in the tub long as she got up and out. She got dressed in her favorite shorts, and a tank. She went to the living space and grabbed her notebook. She walked to the general living space looked for an acoustic guitar. She saw mike look at her as she walked to the door.

Kara never let anyone around her when she was writing a song. Not her parents, not her friends, hell even Carly and JC were not aloud around her. She wanted space but she didn't want to be in the room.

“Kara, what the...” but Big Mike was cut off.

“Mike you say a word and your Christmas bonus will not be pretty...i swear to you. I just..” kara was at a loss for words. She looked to Mike as he looked at her.

He did feel bad for Kara. Here she was going through what he has seen kill relationships in the past. Not this group but between working for the boys and way back when he was working as an extra security for some high profile people. He has seen how it affected wives more than it affected the men.

“ I know you don't want me around while you are hiding out writing but I can promise you this..” Mike started he saw Kara look at him. He smiled and continued on, “I can take you to the piano bar that just closed up and if it is clear and empty I will let you sit there and play...you can play the piano, guitar, sax what ever you want to do, but please don't go alone. I will sit outside and if I see C I will hide the fact that you are in there and that you need the alone time, its nothing against him, and you just wanted time to write and get your emotions out the best way that you know how.

Kara smiled as she hugged the big guy. “Thanks Mike.” It was the only thing she could say at this time.

::::::Two and a half hours later::::::::::

“JC relax, Kara could not have gone all that far.”  Justin was trying to get JC to calm down.

“You saw the note J.  How the hell am I to calm down when I see a note that says, ‘Josh I needed to get away, don’t worry I will be fine.”  JC said as he read the note back again for the fifth time.

“Josh I know Kara, she most likely needs to just breathe.  You see all that is happening around us?  Kara hates having to have people protect her.   She is an independent woman.  She likes to go and do what she wants when she wants. Now she has to have a bodyguard around her all the time and has to worry if that psychotic bitch of and ex of yours is gonna hurt her.  I know I’m not too keen on it but I know you and Johnny just want us to be safe so it is what it is.”  Carly stated.

JC looked and kept pacing the living area of the penthouse. 

“Hey C rememeber when we all had to have security around us at first when we were on tour.  How did you feel right off the bat?”  Joey asked.

JC stopped and thought.  “Honestly, it sucked.”

“And you if I remember complained and try to leave all the time.”  Chris said.

“True but we all hated it big time.” JC whined.

“Yeah but we got used to it.”  Lance said, “Kara will too.  She is just lost cus here she is stuck with not only someone watching her back to protect her but also here with someone trying to hurt her at the same time. “  Lance saw JC stop and said, “Shit if I were Kara I would walk away from it all. But I know her better than that.  SHE LOVES YOU for YOU, she knew what she was getting herself into when she started dating you and well who honestly knew Bobbi would turn out to still be psycho after all this time.  I sure as hell didn’t”

JC turned and saw all the guys, Kelly and Breanne shrug their shoulders.

Carly then saw that JC’s guitar was missing.  She then put two and two together.  “OH Dam.”

JC looked at Carly.  “What’s wrong.”

“I know where she is.  God I should have known for the past two hours now.  MAN I AM NOT THINKING.”  Carly said.

JC looked to her with a questionable look.  Carly rolled her eyes.  “Where is your guitar?” 

JC looked in the corner of the room and saw that it was missing. “There’s a Piano bar downstairs right?”  JC asked.

“And not to be mean and but in but isn’t Big Mike watching your woman.”  Lonnie asked.

JC smiled, hugged Carly and said, “Ill talk to her you have a layout to finish.”

“Yes dad.”   Carly said rolling her eyes.

JC laughed as he grabbed his keys and went down stairs.

At the piano bar

Kara sat at the piano with words on paper.  She had been down here for two hours now and nobody found her.  She liked that Big Mike stayed outside and left her alone and gave her space.

Space to write how she was feeling.  Space to let out her fears and sorrow.  Space to just get out what she was feeling.  She wasn’t feeling trapped and bogged down because of needing someone to protect her.  Hell she liked that JC wanted to make sure her and Carly were safe.   She didn’t want to leave, shit that would give free reign for Bobbi to come after her.  With everyone around her she knew she was protected.  No that wasn’t the problem

The problem was she felt as if Nathan, although dead was trying to stop her again.  What was he trying to stop.  He was trying to stop her from letting herself love and be loved.  In the past few years she would run from the man because of some stupid deream or some omen or something that was telling her that she was not to be happy or in love or with someone who can keep her happy.

She sat at the piano and started playing the notes she took two hours to create with the song she just wrote.  A song she felt now more than ever before.

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

JC stood in the door way listening to Kara play this song and listen to the lyrics.  This was not just a song to Kara.  He knew it.  It was her stating to the world, to her past and whomever was blocking her of her own happiness that she was done.  He knew this was how she needed to let go.  He walked closer and listened as Kara played and sang on.

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

Kara sat there tears falling down, feeling her fears fall away.  Well not completely away but this is what she knew worked well for her.  When she was young she would sing when she was scared, upset or just feeling she needed an escape.  That was what she was doing right now, singing to get away and feel better. She looked up as she finished the song and saw JC standing there by the piano watching her sing.  She knew he would find her.  He knew her better than Nate knew her, and he only had been with her for 4 months.  Granted she knew him for three years now but in these past months they got closer then it took her and Nate to get in almost 7 years.

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I didn't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I was ashamed of my life because it was empty
Because of you
I was afraid

Because of you
Because of you

JC stood behind her and put his hands on her shoulders and rubbed them lightly.  He felt her look up at her as she finished off the song and smiled at him.

“Hey.”  JC said as he looked at her.  He saw the tear stains and smile on her face at the same time.

“Took you long enough to figure out I was here.”  Kara said lightly laughing.

“Well, Carly was the one that pointed out my guitar was missing.  Then I knew we saw the piano bar here and it was closed tonight.  And well I saw big mike out front holding it.  He said you saw the piano and felt more at ease.  He didn’t want to leave the door so he has it next to him.”  Jc said as he saw Kara stand up.

Kara took a step towards him and let her arms go around his waist. She felt him hold her close and tight.  She smiled as she took a breath in and out.  “Thank you Josh.”

“Thank you…for what?”

Kara pulled away and kissed him and said, “for loving me.”

JC took Kara’s hand and walked with her out of the bar.  He smiled as they walked back to the elevator.  He then said to her. 

“By the way, new song  you wrote?” 

“Yes, well not really I started it two years ago when I was dating that guy from accounting, Mike?  I  told you how I pushed him and all the guys away from then on right?”  Kara asked

‘Yeah but I thought it was because you thought I was looking at you”  JC said trying to lighten the mood.

‘Ha ha,” Kara said as they walked into the room.  She looked into Carly’s room and saw her safe and sound asleep. She smiled as she hugged the guard tiny Lonnie and mike.

She then saw JC walk into their room and smiled.  She went on, “I realized while I was in here tonight that the reason I was never  allowed to be happy was cause until we went to the cemetery and I got that letter from him he was not going to let me be happy.  He still is up or down there trying to make my life hell because he is sad to see me let go.  And bobbi is doing the same to you and trying to scare me now”

JC knew the reason behind the last part of the song. “SO the second half of that song is telling everyone come get me because I’m not going to be afraid or I am not going to show you my fear.  Because of them you have been in fear of letting go and loving.”

Kara said, well yeah until I met you.  Shit the first time I met Bobbi if it was the old me I would have walked away from it all and Carly and I would be on the first flight back home.  But no I knew the minute you walked out there that you were with me and will be with me for the long haul.”  Kara said

JC was amazed at this woman standing in front of him. There she was standing by him. Standing strong. He took his fingers and hooked them in to the belt loops of Kara's jeans. He pulled her between his legs and looked up into her eyes. “I love you so much Kara.”

Kara bent down to his face as he cupped her chin. She gave him a kiss and pulled away. She didn't get too far as he pulled her down to the bed and laid her down on her back.

There were no words that were needed to be said. He kissed her again. He deepened the kiss and slowly pulled away. He wanted to make love to her but being the man he was he always wanted to make sure they were on even ground.

“W..We don't have to Kara...not if you don't wanna do this.” JC said looking down into her blue eyes.

Kara was always amazed at how he was so caring when it came down to having se-..well making love. He always wanted it to be on even grounds as it was the same for her.

She leaned up kissed him and rolled him on to his back. While there she removed the tee shirt she wore to reveal that she was not wearing a bra. Her breasts came to view to him as she straddled him. She leaned down and said, “Make love to me my sweet Josh.”

In that moment JC pulled her down and kissed her. As he was kissing her he felt her hands going to his shirt and pulling it up over her head. She laughed as she saw him getting caught trying to free himself from his shirt.

“Ha ha missy.” he said as he laid her down on the bed. He jumped up and removed his pants leaving him in his boxers tenting right at his very obvious erection. He stood there as he saw Kara remove her jeans leaving her in a pair of lace underwear. He stood there.

Kara looked at him as he stared. She giggled as she wiggled her index finger beckoning him to come to her.

JC smiled as he crawled to her on the bed. While crawling he started to kiss her body. First starting at the toes and kissing her body. Her knees then her thighs, to her belly, then stopping at her berasts to give each one equal attention. Playing and suckling on the nippled. As he went on he felt Kara's fingers raking through his hair and heard her moans, only fueling his want and need to be with her.

Kara moaned feeling every nerve on her body on edge as JC was kissing and touching her in paces that he and he alone knew how to touch. “God, JC you are killing me”

JC stopped as he went to his knees, as he did this he removed his underwear and hers at the same time. He smiled and said, “Hmm...wouldn't be a horrible way to die,” he then kissed her belly as her legs opened. He then said, “Oh well if im going to torture you with this sort of death I might as well make it worth your while.'

“Very funny smar-, OH DEAR GOD” Kara gasped as she felt him lick and suck on her clit. She felt him give light slow licks at first then start to suck on her a little harder. She was trying her best to not reach her orgasm but it was not working. She knew that he was trying to get her there and she didn't want to go alone.

JC picked his head up and said, “Come one Kara come for me now and i'll go with you in a moment, I promise, let me taste you.” JC went right back at her clit and startedg sucking again.

Kara was at a loss as she felt him enter two fingers pumping them. She didn't know how but she felt her self go and started reaching the high that JC and only JC could get her to. She moaned as she felt herself go at the power of his mouth letting him lick and suck up every last drop he was getting out of her.

As JC felt Kara's last quivers end he moved himself over her body and in one slow steady movement he entered her. He dipped his head to her neck and kissed it as he puled out and went back in the same way. He stayed at this rhythm for a little while loving the feel of Kara's center gripping him, and making him feel whole and safe.

Kara looked up to JC as he stared down at her, “I love you so much JC.”

JC smiled as he kept moving with her and said, “I love you too my sweet Kara, god you feel so”

Kara cut him off and said, “shh, just feel it cus I am feeling it too right now”

JC stared to feel her walls tighten around him. Knowing she was bout to have another orgasm he started to pick up his pace, going a little faster and harder.

Kara arched her back as he did this and moved her hips to match his thrusts in an out of her. She saw the look on his face knowing he wanted to release so bad, She pulled him down to his ear and said, “Let go for me baby I am there.”

That was all it took for him to let it all go. He thrusted fast as he felt Kara go, fueling him to come and let go with her. As soon as he was done he laid on top of her for a moment kissing her as they both came down from their high. He moved to his side but not without pulling Kara close to him.

As they fell asleep in each others arms. They both knew in that moment that no matter what was going to happen down the road, tonight, tomorrow and in the future they knew that they were there for each other.

And that made both of them feel like nothing could break what they have