“Chew and swallow, Trace,” his mother, Cassidy, laughed as he put down his fork. Still chewing he stood and gathered his silverware, plate, and cup. Balancing them in his hands he walked over to the sink and put his dishes in it. He filled it with water and let it rise for a few minutes before shutting it off. “Where are you off to in a rush?” She asked, leaning back in her seat, wiping her mouth with a napkin.

Trace swallowed and grabbed his keys. “I’m going to meet Cal at the barn. He said he wants to talk to me about something and I want to check on Rebel Wind.” The look she was giving him made him uneasy. His eyes shifted down to his shoes and he dropped, as if noticing his laces were untied. He subtly tugged at the string. The knot collapsed and he worked to get it tied again.

“Justin called,” Cassidy announced. Trace looked up from where he was trying his shoes. His fingers fumbled but he quickly got back on track. “He said he’ll call you back later. He sounded off. Is everything all right with him?” Her eyes seemed to be probing his head.

Trace took his time, tying the knot in his shoe laces and then lowering his pant leg. He wanted to tell his mother the truth but the truth felt false, even to him. Never in his life has “Things are getting tough,” he replied, messing with his keys. “With their tour almost ending, Justin’s thinking about putting out his own record. A solo one.”

Cassidy’s eyebrows lifted. “That’s great! Justin’s very talented. I knew it’d happen eventually. But how is that making things tougher? The others are his biggest supporters, I’m sure.”

Trace nodded. “You know Justin, hard to read sometimes. If he calls again tell him I’ll be back around nine, OK?” He grabbed his hat off of the island and shoved it down on his head. “When’s Dad coming home from his hunting trip?” He asked while looking at the screen on his phone.

“He should be back by Thursday, Friday at the latest if he gets held up for any reason,” Cassidy replied, standing and gathering up her dishes. “Don’t stay out too late, Trace.”

Trace rolled his eyes. “Mom, I’m twenty-one. I think I can manage to go to the barn and back without you holding my hand.” She placed a hand on her hip and gave him a steely gaze. He flinched underneath her stare. He may be older but he was still afraid of her, “OK, OK, sorry,” he muttered, lifting his hands and rushing to the front door.

Trace stepped out onto the porch and let the screen door close behind him. He looked up at the ink black sky which was littered with shiny white stars and a bright full moon. Despite it being close to summer the nights were still on the cool side. He took in a deep breath, drawing in the fragrance of fresh grass and the loamy smell of dirt.

He climbed into his truck and took in a deep breath of the faint leathery smell. He stopped with his fingers gripping his keys at the random flowery scent that floated past his nostrils. It blindsided him. It was the faint scent of Rachel’s shampoo but it still made his heart hurt. Sam used the same kind…

He shook his head and forced those thoughts out and back into oblivion where they belonged. He turned on the car and carefully backed out of the driveway, making sure to miss the mailbox he’s hit one too many times in the past.

The closer he got to the barn the stronger the smell of horses, pigs, and hay seemed to get. For most it would push people away but he loved the smell. It brought him alive and was a safe haven, of sorts. A paradise away from home. The barn was the main reason he liked living in the Shelby Forrest community. It was small but it was like living in two different places at once. He could go in one direction and be in a vast open field with horses and other farm animals. He could go in the other and be in the city, surrounded by people, noise, and technology. It was like the best of both worlds.

Trace turned into the long driveway that led up to the large barn and stables of the Fletcher farm. He killed the engine and left his truck. The gravel crunched beneath his feet as he walked towards the bright light that was coming from the barn as well as soft murmuring.

“Hey Cal,” Trace greeted him with a small wave. Cal looked up and touched the brim of his cowboy hat in greeting before looking back down at the sleeping calf.

“Howdy Trace, glad you could make it,” Cal said as he gently rubbed his hand over the calf’s head.

“Mom was king of making it hard to come out. You know how mom’s are,” Trace said, looking down at the sleeping animal. “Everything alright?” Trace kneeled and ran his hand over the side of the calf, careful not to wake it. The fur was smooth under his touch.

“He’s sick,” Cal sighed. “Either stress or allergic to a vaccine. Hard to tell.” He tugged his hat off of his head and brushed the back of his hand across his sweaty forehead, moving the dark, wavy curls off of his forehead.

“Will he be OK?”

“Probably not.”

Trace’s heart dropped. Poor little guy. He looked up and saw the mama cow watching them, as if she knew what was wrong. Trace sighed and got to his feet, kicking his shoes at the dirt on the ground. Cal gave the calf one more scratch on the head before standing and letting out a long sigh. “It’s the only part about this life I can’t get used to,” he mused, turning away from the calf. “You came to see Rebel Wind too, I assume. This way.”

Even though he knew where he was going Trace let Cal lead him to the stables where the horses were kept. The smell of fresh hay and horse poo made Trace cringe but after a few minutes he got used to it. Cal stopped by the horse box where a white and brown colored horse stuck its face out into the air.

Trace smiled and walked towards his friend, rubbing its velvety soft nose. “Hey buddy, how are ya?” Trace whispered. Rebel Wind gave a soft neigh in response and pressed his nose into Trace’s palm. “You’ve done a great job, Cal. His hair is knot free.”

“Getting him to sit still was the hard part,” Cal said with a sort of sheepish smile. “I just love the horses. Mixer’s had an upset stomach for the past couple of days so we had to change her diet and Starbolt’s going to have a little one soon.”

“Really?” Trace lifted his eyebrows. “Who’s the lucky father?”

“Artemis,” Cal drawled with a large smile. “Yeap, it was like love at first sight for those two when we brought Artemis in. Starbolt wouldn’t eat unless Artemis was by her side. For a while Grandpa and I were worried that she’d lose weight until we figured it out.”

“Good thing you did.” Trace kissed the tip of Rebel Wind’s nose and turned to Cal. “But they’re not the reason you wanted to talk, right?” Cal shook his head and pulled something out of his pocket. He stuck a toothpick between his lips and bit down on it, shaking his head. “What’s up, dude?”

“I wanted to talk about Rachel,” Cal replied.

“Ok. What about her?”

Cal took off his hat and ran a hand through his hair. Trace lifted his eyebrows at his nervous antics. Cal was someone who carried himself well around the town, the man who seemed to ooze eternal confidence was nervous. Trace wanted to laugh out loud but he kept his mouth shut. If only Justin were there with him. They liked Cal but for a while Trace didn’t believe he was human because he seemed to perfect.

“I guess I want to know how close you two are.”

“I’m not into her if that’s what you think,” Trace said. Then he laughed at the idea. Him dating Rachel? They were friends but…she seemed borderline crazy. As long as he could remember she was way too emotional and borderline boy crazy, not to mention she stuck her nose into people’s business so it was news to him when those two started dating. But Cal’s calm demeanor did seem to balance out her crazy and wild one. “We’re friends…I guess,” he added as an afterthought. “Yeah, we’re friends. I mean, we’re not like Frick and Frack but we’re kinda close. Why?”

Cal cleared his throat and switched the toothpick in his mouth to the other side. “I know I should be asking Justin this, considering he’s her cousin, but you’re here and I guess I want your permission.”

Trace blinked. Now he thought Cal must be crazy for needing his permission to do something. Did he need Trace’s permission to cross the street now? “Permission for what?” He asked slowly.

Cal placed his hat back on his head. “Permission to marry her.”

“A-are you sure you want to do that?” Trace asked. “I mean…this is Rachel we’re talking about.”

“I know who we’re talking about,” Cal said with a laugh. “I…I love her, man. I mean, we’ve been dating for five years now. I figure it’s about time, ya know?”

“Don’t…don’t you want to ask her father for permission?” Trace asked. He couldn’t wrap his head around the idea.

“I already have, but I wanted her friends’ blessings as well,” Cal replied. “I wanted to wait for Justin to get back before asking him and I haven’t had a chance to talk to Mack yet.” He then gave Trace a pointed look and lifted his eyebrows.

Trace tried to find words to say while the buzzing in his ears got louder. He barely even heard his own response but it sounded something like, “Um, yeah, sure. Do what you want, it’s your life. Go and be happy.”

Cal’s shoulders dropped and he let out a sigh. “Thanks man, I really appreciate it.”

Trace shrugged. “Sure, no problem.” He shook his head as the images started to creep in. he could feel the pain in his heat leak out of the cracks of the wall that had once stood strong and surrounded his heart.

“I don’t want to feel like I dragged you all the way out here. You can ride Rebel Wind if you want. Usually Grandpa doesn’t let us ride after dark but in this case I can make an exception and take the heat,” Cal offered, reaching for the latch on the horse’s box. He stomped his hooves on the ground in excitement.

“Uh, no!” Trace stopped him. “That’s ok, I should get back before my mom starts to worry. Thanks though.”

“Thank you, Trace,” Cal replied. “I was thinking, maybe we could go fishing sometime? Or hunting? Rachel says your dad likes to hunt and I figured we could use the time to get to know each other better.”

“Rachel put you up to this, right?” Trace asked.

“Yeah. I love her but she’s kinda…”

“Scary?” Cal nodded and Trace chuckled. “Let me tell you, Rachel can get pretty difficult at times. She takes a life-is-fun sort of approach but she can be fierce when she needs to be.”

“Any other warnings I need to know about?” Cal asked.

“Save that for the fishing trip. We can go whenever Justin gets back. He has tons of stories on her.”

“Not all bad, I hope.”

“Oh, but the best ones are the ones when she’s humiliated.”

Cal laughed. He took out his toothpick and snapped it in half with his fingers. “Fishing should be interesting.”

“Should be.”

“I should let you go. I still have to check on the other calves to make sure they’re not sick as well,” Cal said as he backed away. “Thanks for the talk.”

“No problem,” Trace said and also backed away, moving in the direction of his truck.

“Take care now.”

“You too. See ya,”

Trace did his best to hold his emotions off but as soon as the door closed everything came rushing at him all at once. The anger, pain, confusion, and betrayal were in the forefront.

All because Cal was planning on proposing to Rachel.

It wasn’t that he wasn’t happy for her, he was. He just didn’t find it fair that someone else could find happiness in a world that ended for him two years ago.