The email from Kevin came Sunday afternoon, asking Caroline to meet in his office first thing Monday morning.  Caroline didn't think much of it beside frowning at the inconvenience - Kevin's office was in the opposite direction of JC's house from her apartment, not to mention in the heart of downtown traffic.  Going there first wouldn't put her at JC's until mid-morning, depending on whatever the meeting was about. 

Deciding to play it safe, Caroline sent JC a text message Monday morning as she left her apartment, letting him know that she would be in Kevin's office for the better part of the morning and asking if he had any errands for her to run on the way back.  He didn't respond, but Caroline shrugged it off, focusing the majority of her frustrations on the traffic getting to Kevin's building.

When she finally made it there, Kevin's secretary gave her a placating smile and asked her to wait, as Kevin was held up in a meeting.  Caroline sat in the same stiff chair that she had on the day of her interview, checking emails on her phone and watching the time tick away 

Finally, Kevin appeared, apologizing profusely.  "Come on in, Caroline."

Kevin shut the door behind her and Caroline sat down across from his desk.  "Sorry again, I had an early meeting that I just couldn't get out of."  Kevin rounded the desk and pulled his chair out, unbuttoning his suit jacket before he took his seat.  "I didn't mean to make you wait so long."

"No problem," Caroline said.  "So, what's up?"

She didn't notice the way his smile faltered and grew stale.  "Caroline, I'm just going to cut right to the chase."

He slid a piece of paper across the desk towards her, and Caroline was reminded of her interview again, when Kevin had written her starting salary down, like in a movie.  This time, however, she had a  bad feeling in the pit of her stomach from the start.  Her eyes caught the word "severance" in bold at the top and her heart constricted in her chest.

"What is this?" she tried to ask, but only the first word managed to eek its way out.  Kevin folded his hands on top of his desk. 

"It's an outline of your severance package."  He sighed softly.  "I'm...very sorry to have to do this, Caroline."

She stared down at the page, the numbers and words blurring together in front of her eyes. 

"I want to assure you, of course, that this doesn't reflect negatively at all on your work ethic," Kevin continued.  "It's simply a personality conflict.  You'll find that the benefits are generous; two month's salary on top of your unused sick days." 

He said a few more things about the severance package, but Caroline couldn't seem to focus on his words.  She was being fired?  For what?  What had Kevin said - a personality conflict?  The phrase hurt more than it probably should have.

Kevin was still talking, and Caroline tried her hardest to tune back in.  "I can provide references for you, should you require it.  And, Caroline..." He leaned across the desk, and she could see the earnest disappointment in his eyes.  "I don't normally do this, but I have quite a few contacts in the business world.  I know it's a tough market out there right now, especially for a recent graduate.  However, I'd be more than willing to pass your name onto a few firms, if you'd like."

Caroline managed to nod stiffly.  "That would be great."

Kevin smiled sadly.  "Again, I'm...so sorry, Caroline.  I've enjoyed working with you, truly."

Sensing it was time to take her leave, Caroline did her best to emulate normal mannerisms, even in her detached state.  She stood, took the piece of paper, shook Kevin's hand, and headed for the door. 

"Take care," Kevin said, holding the door for her on the way out.  His secretary gave her a sympathetic glance, but Caroline kept walking, doing her best to hold her head high.

Down in the parking garage, she held the severance notice in her lap and stared at it blankly.  Indeed, she was allotted two month's salary, which was certainly charitable.  But as Caroline stared down at the sheet, the numb feeling began to dissipate, and anger took its place.

JC was firing her.  Whether it was Kevin who broke the news or not, JC was responsible for this.  A personality conflict?  Caroline tossed the paper aside and clenched her steering wheel until her knuckles turned white. 

As if in auto-pilot, Caroline turned on her car and left the parking garage.  She drove north, in the direction of her apartment, but bypassed 5th street when it came, and took Central all the way up to the 101.  From there, she exited on Laurel Canyon and headed straight for JC's house.  When she got to the gate, Caroline was half-concerned that the code would be changed, but it wasn't, and she went all the way up to the top of the driveway. 

Edgar was in front of the garage with one of the lawn guys, trying to explain something to him about the bushes, when Caroline got out of her car.  He waved to her.

"Buenas dias, Carolina!" he called jovially, but she only offered a quick wave.  With every step towards the front door, Caroline found herself growing more and more pissed off.  By the time she made it to the top of the stairs, she was positively seething.

Such was her anger, she didn't notice the additional car in the driveway that morning, a black Escalade.  When Caroline shoved the front door open, she quickly learned that JC was not alone.

In the foyer, JC stood with an older man and a younger girl with long hair and designer jeans.  Caroline could tell from one look that this was some up and coming pop singer and her manager.  The look in her eyes must have been as murderous as she felt it was, because they both stared at her, wide-eyed and startled by her sudden appearance.

Caroline had every intention to smile politely and ask to see JC in the other room, but when she laid eyes on him, his eyebrows raised as he watched her slam the front door behind her, her anger boiled over completely.

"You're firing me?" she demanded, tossing her purse to the floor without ceremony.  "You're firing me?  Where the hell do you get off, JC?"

JC pursed his lips and turned to his guests apologetically.  "You'll have to excuse me.  I'll be in touch."

Caroline stood aside as JC ushered the man and girl out the front door.  Once he'd closed the door behind them, he turned to her, his embarrassed smile now twisted into a frown.  "Are you insane?"

"Are you insane?" she shot back, not caring that it was possibly the lamest comeback in the book.  "Who the hell do you think you are?  What gives you the right to fire me?  I haven't done anything wrong!"

JC crossed his arms over his chest.  "Did Kevin tell you that you did something wrong?"

"No, but -"

"Then you haven't," he interrupted.  "Did he show you your severance package?"

"Yes, but -"

"Then you've seen how generous I was to make up for the lack of notice."  JC motioned towards the office as he began to move around her.  "I was going to box up your things for you, but since you're here, you might as well take them with you."

Caroline followed him into the kitchen, still livid.  "JC, I don't want your money.  I don't even care about the job that much.  But at least have the decency to tell me the truth."

"What truth?" JC asked flippantly, pouring himself a cup of coffee.  Caroline resisted the urge to snatch the mug out of his hand and throw the hot liquid in his face. 

"You didn't think I'd actually go for the personality conflict line, did you?" Caroline asked.  "Is that the standard for firing your assistants?"

JC poured some sugar into his coffee and actually had the nerve to smile.  "Yep."

"You are such an asshole," Caroline exclaimed.  "Why don't you just man up?  Tell me to my face, JC.  Why are you firing me?"

JC stiffened slightly but continued stirring his coffee.  "I told you from the beginning that I go through a lot of assistants."

"That is such a fucking copout."  Caroline jabbed her finger into his arm, hard.  "I'm not leaving until I hear you say it."

"Well, I guess I'll have to call the cops, then."  JC turned towards her, taking a sip of his coffee.  "Trust me, it's not the first time they've had to come drag a crazy woman off the premise."

Caroline slapped him, and JC lost his grip on the coffee cup in surprise.  It crashed to the tile floor, raining coffee and shards of ceramic everywhere.  Caroline felt a piece of it slice into her bare ankle, but she ignored it.  The slap had effectively slaked off the majority of her anger, and Caroline took a half-step back, afraid of how JC would react.

"What the fuck was that for?" he demanded.  "Jesus, Caroline, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Sorry," she muttered, wincing when JC grabbed her upper arms.  "I'm sorry!"

"I'm not gonna hit you," he snapped, and Caroline had to admit that it was somewhat satisfying to see him finally lose his calm composure.  "You want to know why I fired you?  You really want to know?"

Caroline wasn't fully sure anymore, but she nodded anyway.  "Yes."

JC's grip tightened on her arms and Caroline winced slightly.  "I had to, Caroline, because this can't happen."

"What can't happen?" she asked quietly, even though she knew the answer.

"This.  Us, whatever's going on here."  JC let go of her abruptly, and Caroline stumbled back.  "You know it can't."

Caroline stared at him, starting to regret that she'd demanded the truth so harshly.  Maybe it would have been better to go on without ever knowing for sure.  But then again, she'd always been a glutton for this kind of heartache.  "Why not?"

JC threw his arms in the air.  "It just can't!  It wouldn't work."

Caroline crossed her arms over her waist, shaking her head.  JC frowned at her.  "What?"

"You're afraid," she said plainly.  "You're afraid of this."

JC scowled.  "I'm not afraid of shit."

"Yes, you are."  Caroline took a step towards him, shards of broken coffee mug scratching the tile beneath her shoes.  "Just admit it.  Admit that you're scared and I'll go."

"Shut up."  JC matched her step, grabbing her wrists in a painful grip.  "Get the hell out of here."

He didn't let her go, however, and Caroline held her breath in anticipation as JC pulled her closer. 

"This is a bad idea," he murmured, pressing his lips to the sensitive skin of her neck.  Caroline let her eyes close.  "Fuck.  Caroline, this is such a bad idea."

Caroline shushed him and wrapped her arms around his neck as he lifted her onto the counter, placing himself between her legs.  "I don't care, JC."

JC slanted his mouth over hers, pushing his tongue past her teeth forcefully as he pulled her hips forward and pushed her skirt up simultaneously.  Caroline moaned through the kiss as JC's hands gripped the bare skin of her thighs and pulled her even closer.  She wrapped her legs around his waist, angling herself against his obvious arousal.

They didn't speak at all.  The kiss was broken only to pull off various articles of clothing, Caroline's tank top, JC's t-shirt.  Caroline kicked off her shoes at one point, the heels falling to the floor with a clatter in the otherwise silent kitchen.  Her first coherent thought was whether or not Mariella was there that day when JC reached beneath her skirt and began to tug off her panties.

She placed her hands over his to stop him, and JC pulled back, looking her in the eyes.  Caroline pushed him backward only enough to slide off the counter and drop back to the floor.  Careful to avoid the shatters of the coffee cup on the floor, she made her way out of the kitchen towards the stairs, hoping that JC would follow. 

She made it all the way to the first landing before she felt JC's hands grab her hips and pull her back against him from behind. 

"Are you sure?" he murmured in her ear, his lower body pressed against hers.  Caroline took a deep, shaky breath.  Was she?

"Yes."

JC kissed her neck, took her hand in his, and led her the rest of the way up the stairs, into his bedroom.  It hadn't changed much since the last time she had been in there, but she didn't pay much attention to the scenery.  JC pushed her down onto the bed before he reached for his belt, and Caroline shimmied out of her skirt, letting the material fall discarded to the floor.  Every nerve ending in her body seemed to tingle with anticipation as she settled back against the cool sheets, and when he reached for her, her bare skin finally against his, she closed her eyes, her heart pounding in her chest as his mouth began to move over her body.

Again, they didn't speak, and the only refrain in her head was "finally, finally, finally".

    ..

Hours later, the mid-afternoon sunlight streaming through the sheer curtains in JC's bedroom, Caroline sat up in an empty bed.

She rubbed her hands over her face and glanced at her watch, but her wrist was bare, much like the rest of her body.  She found it discarded on the nightstand and checked the time.  3:22.  Caroline rubbed her eyes again and glanced around the deserted room.  Had she really fallen asleep?  Had she really had sex with her boss?  All morning long?

Scooting to the edge of the mattress, Caroline listened for the sound of running water from the bathroom, but heard nothing.  She stood, wincing at the protests of her sore body, and started the search for her clothing.  Her panties were ripped a little bit and tossed clear across the room, but everything else seemed to be relatively unscathed.

Once she was dressed, Caroline double checked the bathroom, pushing the door open to find it as empty as the bedroom.  She poked her head into the hall, listening for any noises in the silent house.  She crept downstairs, trying to be quiet for some unknown reason, her head aching more and more with every step.  She attributed the pain to waking up in the middle of the day, and also a vague memory of bumping the back of her head against the bed frame at one point.  Following that memory was its unavoidable cousin - JC kissing the tender spot before he pulled her by her hips further down the bed and entered her somewhat roughly from behind.

The thought was enough to color Caroline's cheeks as she stepped into the kitchen, and she turned on cold water in the sink, pressing her damp hands over her heated face.  She felt all out of sorts, both emotionally and physically.

Maybe because you just fucked your boss, her subconscious pointed out condescendingly.  And for hours on end, too.  What a slut. 

Caroline turned around to find that the mess from that morning had been cleaned up, the shards of ruined coffee mug disposed of and the spilled coffee wiped from the tile.  Her shoes sat on top of the counter island, pushed together and upright, like someone had arranged that for her specially.  She half-expected to find a note with them, but she didn't.  Caroline slipped her shoes on and stood motionless in the kitchen for a bit, staring at nothing and listening to the silence. 

She didn't know what, exactly, she had expected.  Waking up in JC's arms?  Taking a shower with him?  Spending the rest of the evening together, blissfully unaffected by the damage they had just done?  Maybe. 

Instead, she stood alone in the kitchen and wondered if she should be surprised by the actual outcome.

Either way, she was determined to hold her head high and leave without crying.  She owed her pride that much. 

She was picking up her purse from where she'd abandoned in on the entryway floor earlier when a voice from behind made her nearly jump out of her skin.

"You're leaving?"

Caroline righted herself and turned around to find JC.  He was dressed (for the fact, Caroline didn't know if she should be thankful or disappointed) in the same clothes he'd been wearing earlier, his hands in his pockets and his expression frustratingly impassive as he watched her. 

"Um.  Yeah."  Caroline glanced down at her purse, making a show of rifling through it for her keys lest she have to look him in the eyes for a second longer than necessary.  "I guess...I thought..."

Thought what?  That he'd abandoned her?  Left her alone in his bedroom after screwing her brains out in hopes that she'd find her own way out?  Like every other girl he'd shown the same services to over the years?

Caroline bit her tongue.  The last thing she wanted was to look as desperate as she felt.

"I thought that would be...best," she finished lamely, glancing back up at him. 

JC nodded, and maybe he looked almost glum, Caroline couldn't quite put her finger on it.  "Okay."

"Yeah, so."  She turned and took a couple steps towards the door, remembering how she'd stormed through it earlier and how embarrassing she must have looked to her random witnesses.  Talk about desperate, why hadn't she just left well enough alone?  Now she was still fired, and in the middle of what seemed like an even worse mess than before.

"I was down in the studio," JC said suddenly, and Caroline glanced back over her shoulder at him.  He'd taken a couple steps closer, but his hands were still shoved in the pockets of his jeans.  She noticed for the first time that his feet were bare.  "I had a couple things to finish up, I have a deadline on a song I'm doing for..." He trailed off and shrugged.  "In case you were wondering where I was."

"Oh."  Caroline nodded, as if everything made sense, even though it didn't.  Maybe it felt a little better to know that he hadn't completely walked out on her, but she still felt like shit.  "Alright.  Well, I guess I'll see you around."

She'd said the same thing to Brandon a couple days ago, and it seemed even less true in this context.

JC didn't say anything, just watched her, and again there was that very slight, unreadable look in his eyes.  Caroline didn't want to get any closer to try and figure it out, so she turned and opened the door without looking back.

She held her head high all the way down to her car, now the only one left in the driveway.  All the lawn guys and everyone else was gone for the day, leaving her in the quiet as she descended the wide, sloping stairs and the smooth concrete of the car park.  Birds chirped and the sun shone and a nice, gentle breeze lifted up the hair on the back of her neck, but all Caroline could focus on was holding it together as she got to her car. 

Once she got inside, she ventured a glance back up to the front door, but it remained closed.  She drove down to the gate, waited for it to open for her as she strummed her fingers on the steering wheel and stared hard at the rearview mirror.  But no one came running down to stop her, the gate swung open, and she drove out, leaving JC's house behind for what was most likely the last time.

All things considered, she didn't really cry until she was home and in the shower, letting the too-hot water beat down over her head.  The cry itself was a relatively short one, nothing like the long, drawn-out sob sessions she'd had when Brandon had left for the first time.  Somehow, however, this one seemed to hurt more, she noted, wiping off the mirror to look at her reflection.  The pain was more acute, more tangible than before.

Either way, she accessed the practical side of herself like she'd been doing her whole life, and made some dinner.  She even got out the newspaper and started flipping through the classifieds, just like in the old days.  Maybe, if she played her cards right, this whole section of her life could just be written out of the history books, as if it had never existed in the first place.  Her impractical fling with celebrity, playing assistant to a star who now wanted nothing at all to do with her.  Just a phase, right?

By the time a couple hours had passed, Caroline had circled three potential prospects in the paper, cleaned up her resume (and reluctantly added her experience as JC's assistant, though she left off his name completely and listed Kevin as her supervisor), and dusted  every flat surface in her house.  She turned on the TV for background noise (something she prided herself on not really ever doing, but she hadn't lived alone, then, either), and made sure to send Kevin a quick email, thanking him for his graciousness and assuring him that she would, indeed, like him to pass her name on to any firms he knew of that happened to be hiring.

Her task mode had reached a comfortable level - enough to keep her occupied, enough to keep her from thinking or ruminating at all about the day's events.  An email from Cameron popped up in her inbox just as she sent off the message to Kevin, and Caroline opened it up without hesitating.

You holding up okay?  Seth told me about Brandon.  Call me if you need anything, and Megan says she's up for hanging out whenever you want.  She'll even get a babysitter. 

Anyway, I'm guessing Seth probably forgot to tell you, but we're getting together for Dad's birthday this Saturday.  It was Cathy's idea, she wants to do homemade pizzas or some shit like that.  Anyway, it's at their house, she said she left a message on your machine last week, but I know you were out of town and never really check that, so I wanted to give you a heads up.  Let me know if you want to carpool out there with us.

Talk soon,

Cam

PS: Mom's coming, Cathy invited her.  Just fair warning!

Caroline rubbed her temples, pulling up the calendar on her computer to see, indeed, that her father's birthday was Sunday.  She couldn't remember the last time she'd looked at an actual calendar, one that did not list JC's upcoming events and trips.  Her life had truly begun to revolve around his schedule, so much so that she'd nearly abandoned her own life and the things that were important to her. 

Feeling a pang of regret, Caroline scrambled for a pen and scrawled a note to herself to pick up a card and a present before sending a quick reply to Cameron that she did, indeed, want to carpool.  It had been a few months since she'd seen her nephews, and she had to admit that she was actually looking forward to spending time with her family in a setting that was not the hospital, even if her mom would be present. 

She was still looking at the calendar, making sure there weren't any more upcoming important events that she'd overlooked, when something on the television caught her attention.

The local news had started, opening with a story about LA auditions for America's Best Dance Crew.  Caroline stared blankly at the TV, cursing her luck, before she fumbled for the remote to change the channel.  The contraption was nowhere to be found, of course, and she was on her hands and knees, peering under the couch, when JC's voice filled her living room.

"Yeah, it's exciting.  A lot of cool stuff is coming up, it's gonna be different, you know, but it's gonna be good."

Caroline froze, sitting up to turn and stare at the TV screen, like a compulsion.  From one look, she could tell that the interview had taken place at the DC benefit from last week.  JC was wearing his all black tux, and inclining his head slightly to hear the reporter's next question, his eyebrows furrowed together slightly as he half-frowned, the way he did when he was listening.  Caroline knew that she was just off-camera, to JC's left, and the reminder was a painful one.  Had that event literally only occurred days before?  It felt like a world away. 

Caroline found herself still watching, powerless to turn away, as JC continued to speak about ABDC's next season and the auditions.

"The East Coast definitely brought the heat at the auditions last month, but I live in LA, so I know what they're all about," JC continued.  "I'm looking forward to seeing some really extreme talent from the west."

He was grinning as he spoke, showcasing just how passionate he actually was about the show, as the interview cut away, back to the news anchor in the studio.  Caroline leaned back against the couch, remembering the last time she'd seen that expression on JC's face, the genuine, childlike enthusiasm.

"Hey, check this out!"

Caroline started at the sight of JC in the office, sitting at her desk, as she entered.  The coffee in her mug nearly sloshed out onto the floor, and she steadied herself against the doorframe.

"God.  You scared me."

"Come here, come here," JC exclaimed, motioning her over excitedly, ignoring the fright he had caused her.  "Hurry!  This is the best part!"

Caroline sighed and continued into the office, setting her purse down on the empty desk before continuing over to her own.  JC got out of her chair, ushering her down into the seat.  He pushed on her shoulders to hurry her up, and Caroline opened her mouth to complain. 

"Shhhhhh!"  JC pointed at the computer screen.  "Watch."

The browser on the screen was opened to YouTube, and a video was playing.  It appeared to be a clip from a news channel, and Caroline recognized it as one of the new Internet rages - videos of common things that got uploaded to the website and promoted to epic proportions. She'd already seen the one in question (Brandon had showed it to her after hearing about it from one of his bandmates at practice) and turned to tell JC so, but he grabbed her shoulder tightly, keeping her in place.

Caroline hadn't really thought the video was that funny in the first place, but something about JC's total abandonment to laughter made her smile a bit as it ended.  "So funny, right?" he said, reaching in front of her for the mouse.

"Yeah, totally," Caroline murmured, freezing as JC leaned over her shoulder to adjust the playback on the video.  His face was right next to hers, so close that she could see precisely where his beard was starting to grow in again, smell his aftershave, feel the warmth of his body.  He laughed out loud again, replaying his favorite part, and his chest vibrated against Caroline's back.  She didn't fully relax until he straightened up, stretching his arms over his head.

"Shit.  Is it really 8:30 already?" he asked, squinting at the clock on the wall.  "I need to get to work."

Caroline realized for the first time that he was wearing blue striped pajama bottoms under his t-shirt.  "Have you seriously spent all morning on YouTube?"

JC smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.  "Yeah.  I got up early.  Couldn't sleep."

 "Don't you have a laptop?" Caroline asked, closing out of YouTube on her computer and frowning when she saw three other open windows.  "Oh God, please don't tell me you look at porn on my computer when I'm not here."

"Okay, I won't tell you."  JC grinned at her mischievously, and Caroline groaned, closing her eyes.  "Just kidding.  I'm gonna go get dressed.  Maybe."  He headed for the door, but turned back to glance at her.  "And you're welcome for starting your day off with a healthy dose of laughter."

Caroline tried to suppress her smile, unsuccessfully, and looked up to see JC watching her triumphantly from the doorway.  "Yes, thanks so much."

Whether she wanted to admit it or not, the smile stayed on her face for hours after he left her alone.

Caroline spotted the remote under the coffee table and turned the TV off promptly, even though the feature on ABDC had long ended.  For a few minutes, she stared at the blank TV screen, willing herself not to cry.

"Okay," she murmured.  "Okay.  You can do this.  What's next?"

She glanced around, looking for the next task she needed to complete.  Staying busy, that was the key.  Right?