If Caroline thought things would be different after she'd more or less admitted her feelings for JC, both to herself and to him, she was wrong.  The only difference, in fact, was a cold awkwardness that descended over their relationship, both personally and professionally.

The flight back to LA had them suspiciously in separate seats.  JC just shrugged it off as he shoved his carry-on in the overhead bin.  "Must have been some mix up.  It's not a big deal."

Caroline didn't make it into one, but she knew that JC always checked in for flights online the night before.  If their seats had been rearranged, it was by his hand.  She sat next to a snoring businessman for the next five hours, trying hard not to look across the aisle at JC and trying even harder not to admit that her feelings were hurt.

To make matters worse, their arrival at LAX was a rocky one - there had been a problem with the baggage carousels, resulting in an hour delay.  Caroline sat in a hard plastic seat in the terminal to wait it out with the rest of the passengers while JC talked on the phone and paced some fifteen feet away.  He didn't even make eye contact with her.

When they finally had their bags, Caroline didn't know if she should be surprised to find a cab waiting next to the usual car at the arrival gate. 

"I've got to go downtown and meet with Kevin before I head home," JC explained, glancing at his watch as the driver took his bags.  "I didn't want to make you wait.  I'll cover your cab." 

Caroline waved him away as he pulled out his wallet.  "Forget it.  See you Monday."

She got into the back of the cab without looking at JC's face; she didn't want to be humiliated any further by his pity.  She stared out the window on the ride back to her apartment, berating herself for being so stupid.  Why would a guy like JC want anything to do with someone like her?  She worked for him, for God's sake. 

Caroline was trying so hard to focus on how not upset she was as she lugged her suitcase up the stairs that she more or less tuned out the rest of her surroundings.  Thus, when she got to the landing and found Brandon standing in front of her, she gasped and almost fell backwards down the stairs.

"Whoa."  Brandon reached out to grab her wrist and pull her back to a steady position.  "You should be more careful in those shoes."  He nodded at her stilettos and she swallowed, hard.

"Uh, yeah.  I guess you surprised me."

Brandon put his hands in his pockets.  "Sorry.  I, uh, tried calling."

Caroline patted her sweater pocket to pull out her Blackberry, but Brandon shook his head, at least having the good grace to look shameful.  "I called the apartment.  A few times this week, actually.  When I couldn't get a hold of you, I called Seth to see where you were."

Caroline shrugged her purse off of her shoulder, setting it down gingerly on top of her suitcase.  "You could have called my cell if you wanted to talk to me."

"I didn't," Brandon replied honestly.  "I just wanted to pick a time to come get the rest of my stuff without...making it too awkward."

Even expecting it, his words came as somewhat of a blow to Caroline, especially in her current state.

"Your stuff?" she echoed.  Most of Brandon's stuff was hers as well, by default, and vice versa.  They'd made most of their home purchases as a couple. 

"Just the rest of my clothes and records, mostly," he replied, motioning behind him to a pile of boxes in the hall that Caroline hadn't noticed before.  "Dave's meeting me here to haul it out to Newport."

Caroline nodded slowly, feeling numb.  "So that's where you're staying?"

"Yeah, with my dad."  Brandon shrugged.  "We're trying to patch things up, I guess."

"That's...that's good."  Caroline clenched her fists tight enough that her nails dug into her palms.  She wanted to be anywhere but here.  It hurt that Brandon was officially leaving, yes, but more than anything, her thoughts strayed to JC and the way he had snubbed her earlier.  Tears started to well up in Caroline's eyes and she looked down before Brandon could notice.  "So it's...definitely over."

She couldn't see his expression, but she stared at his shoes, worn dark blue low-top Chuck Taylors that had seen better days and now looked more gray than anything else.  "I think we both know that it is, Care."

Caroline closed her eyes and a couple tears slipped out.  "Yeah, I guess so."

Brandon cleared his throat.  "I better go downstairs and wait for Dave."

"Yep."  Caroline managed to wipe her eyes quickly before she looked up, and Brandon respectfully pretended not to notice.  "Did you get everything you needed?"

"Yeah, yeah I got it all."  He reached in his pocket and dug out a silver key.  "I was just gonna drop it off with the super, but since you're here..."

Caroline held out her hand and Brandon dropped the key into her palm.  "Thanks."

He nodded and they stood awkwardly for a few seconds before Caroline reached for the handle on her suitcase.  "I guess I'll see you around."

"Yeah.  Sure."  Brandon stepped aside as she moved past him, and he made no move to touch her or offer any comforting words about remaining friends.  Caroline wouldn't have expected it from him, anyway.  "See ya."

"Bye."  Caroline didn't glance behind her to see if he was still in the hallway as she rolled her suitcase inside and closed the door.  The apartment looked pretty much the same as when she'd left it - Brandon hadn't taken anything big, like furniture or appliances.  But the large gap in the shelves that had held their combined record collection was startling, and Caroline leaned against the closed door for a moment, feeling as though her heart was ripping inside of her chest. 

Not bothering to continue with the pretense of normalcy by changing and unpacking, she instead went straight for the window once she'd caught her breath.  Dave had already arrived with his vintage Chevy pickup.  He and Brandon loaded the boxes into the bed of the truck fairly quickly, and then they both climbed in and drove away.  Caroline watched them disappear down the busy street until she couldn't see them anymore. 

Finally, Caroline stood and kicked her shoes off.  She pulled her Blackberry out of her pocket, frowned at the reminder of JC, and turned it off before picking up the house phone.  She dialed a number from memory and waited.

"Seth Reed."

"Hey."

"Hey!  You're home?"

"Yeah."  Caroline sunk into an armchair, letting her eyes closed.  "Just got back."

Seth paused.  "Brandon called me while you were gone."

"I know.  He was here when I got home, packing up his stuff."

Seth sighed.  "Shit.  I'm sorry."

Caroline didn't tell him not to be.  "Well.  I think I'm ready to talk." 

Out of both of her brothers, Seth had always been the obvious choice for a heart-to-heart.  Cameron gave good advice, but he had a tendency to be bossy and patronizing.  Once you could get Seth to sit still long enough, he was a great listener, and Caroline had cried on his shoulder over too many high school boyfriends to count.

"You're in luck," he responded without missing a beat.  "I had a hearing this afternoon, but it got cancelled at the last minute.  I'll swing home and pick up Moo and then head over to your place.  Sound good?"

"Yeah.  Sounds good."  Caroline glanced at her watch - it would take Seth twenty minutes to get to her place from his, so she only had about a half-hour to sit by herself in an apartment that felt as empty and alone as ever.  "See you then."

"Hang in there, Care," Seth said, and hung up.  Caroline set the phone down and stood up immediately.  She knew that if she sat for too long, she'd probably start crying, so instead, she began to pace the apartment, looking for differences.  Brandon appeared to had left all of their pictures and personal mementos.  Ignoring the hurt that she felt at that thought, Caroline stopped to pick up a framed picture on top of the bookcase in the corner.  It was a photo of the two of them in front of the bar they'd met in - a little dive near the USC campus that Caroline had worked at when she was still an undergraduate. 

Judging by the length of her hair and what she was wearing in the picture, Caroline judged it to have been taken just a few months after they'd started dating.  They were sitting at a patio table outside the bar, Caroline perched on Brandon's knee.  Her head was tipped back against his shoulder and she was laughing at something as he wrapped his arms around her waist.  They both looked completely happy, and it made Caroline wonder when had been the last time she'd felt that way with Brandon.  For the last six months, at least, things had been strained, difficult.  She just wished she could pinpoint when things had changed.

Caroline set the picture down and picked up another - this one was a self-portrait, taken by Brandon extending the camera out in front of them as they hugged in front of a spectacular night-time view of downtown Los Angeles.  The memory of the night in question was still as fresh as ever in her mind.

As confused as she was, Caroline couldn't help but smile when she felt Brandon's hand tighten over hers on the way up the stairs.

"Where are we going?" she asked again, feeling a certain concern as they passed another door and turned up a new flight of stairs.  "Are we even allowed to be here?"

"Definitely not," Brandon replied over his shoulder, only taking the time to smile at her as he led her past another landing.  "Why?  Does that make you nervous?"

"I'm...kind of a rule follower," she admitted.  Caroline paused to get a look at the sign on the next landing that told her which floor they were on, and inadvertently tripped on the next step.  Brandon was still holding her hand, however, and all she needed was his firm grip to be able to catch herself easily before she fell.  Brandon stopped for the first time since he'd started her on this spontaneous expedition.

"You okay?" he asked, turning to face her.  Caroline could tell by his expression that he was legitimately concerned, no hint of mocking in his eyes.  She blushed. 

"I'm fine, I just..."  She glanced over her shoulder at the red and white placard that boldly displayed the number ‘39'.  "Does this building really have that many floors?"

"Forty-one, actually," Brandon replied.  "We're almost there.  I promise you, it will be worth it."

Caroline was silent as they continued up the remaining flights of stairs.  Brandon had only taken her on the elevator up to the 28th floor of the downtown Los Angeles skyscraper. 

"This is all I have access to," he'd admitted, showing her the elevator keycard from the law firm he was currently interning at.  "But anyone has access to the stairs."

At first, Caroline had been excited to be in such a fancy building after hours.  But now, she was starting to feel a little nervous.  They were apparently going to the roof of a completely empty building at midnight.  And she didn't even know this guy that well, he was basically a stranger.  They'd only just met last weekend at the bar.  This was their first official date, and excited as Caroline had been when the super hot guy from the bar had actually used her number after asking for it, she would be lying to herself if she didn't admit she was a little...wary.

The earlier part of the date had gone excellently, though...in fact, it was probably the best first date Caroline had ever been on.  Brandon was not only incredibly attractive, he was kind, smart, funny, and had great taste in music, books, and art.  They clicked instantly over Indian food, especially when Brandon had purposefully picked a restaurant that was almost exclusively vegan.  He was a second year pre-law student at USC, too, and Caroline could just imagine how stoked her dad would be about that.

"Alright."  Brandon finally let go of her hand at the final landing, right in front of the door that had a sign advertising roof access to "authorized personnel only" and a warning about the automatic locking door.  "Here we are."

Caroline wrapped her arms around herself as Brandon opened the door, letting in a rush of cool night air.  She waited as he propped a cinderblock up against the open door to keep it from shutting and locking behind them, and then extended his hand towards her.

"You okay?" Brandon asked again, and Caroline shrugged, glancing around the wide space of the roof around them.

"Yeah, sure."

Brandon held onto her hand as he led her across the roof, towards the edge.  Caroline felt her heart start to race, and she hung back a bit, even as Brandon tugged her closer.

"I'm a little...I'm not really good with heights," she admitted when he looked at her questioningly.

"It's cool."  Brandon let go of her hand only to wrap his arm around her shoulders.  "This okay?" he asked softly, and Caroline felt her stomach fill with warm, pleasant butterflies.

"Yeah," she murmured, feeling herself lean comfortably into his embrace.  They fit together just as she had imagined they would.  Caroline glanced away from Brandon's intense gaze to take in the view.  "Wow."

"Pretty neat, huh?"  Keeping his arm tight around her, Brandon motioned out to the glittering Los Angeles skyline beyond and below them.  "This is only the seventeenth tallest building in the city."

It still felt pretty tall to Caroline - they could have been on top of the world for all she knew.

"You couldn't swing the tallest?"

"Nope, sorry."  He smirked down at her.  "I think that's the US Bank building.  But I'm not interning there."

"I guess that's a good thing," she replied, leaning cautiously closer to the edge to look down at the scattered late night traffic below.  "Any higher and I'd still be in the doorway."

Brandon laughed softly, and they stared out at the city in silence for a little bit longer.

"Do you like your internship?" Caroline asked suddenly.  Brandon didn't answer for a few moments and she wondered if this was untouchable territory so early in their acquaintance.

"It's okay," he said finally, then sighed.  "No, I fuckin' hate it."

Caroline laughed at first, then sobered when she realized he wasn't laughing with her.  "Really?"

"Yeah."  Brandon let go of her and turned to half-sit on the edge.  Caroline wasn't quite confident enough to do that, so she stayed standing.  "I hate law school."

The air around them seemed to take on a fragile feel, and Caroline could tell that this was the first time Brandon had shared these feelings with anyone.  He shrugged.  "I don't know, it's just...my dad really wanted me to do it but...I just can't picture myself ever being a lawyer, you know?"

"It's not your dream," Caroline supplied softly, and Brandon shook his head. 

"It's really not.  My dad's pounded it into my head for so long that I think I started to believe it was, though."

Caroline nodded slowly - she could identify.  Her own father had been so desperate for her to go to his alma mater that he'd begun to instill a love for the school in her at an early age.  Caroline could remember eating out of USC cereal bowls as a kid, and going as a Trojan cheerleader for at least two Halloweens.  She'd even seen the little red and gold onesies that she'd worn as a newborn, still folded lovingly in a box at her dad's house, waiting to be passed on to her own children someday.  For Caroline, the decision to go to USC hadn't been difficult.  Of course, she'd applied to some backup schools, which her dad had been okay with (as long as none of them were UCLA), but when she got accepted to USC...well, it didn't make sense to go anywhere else.  And it had made her dad so happy - he barely cared what she chose to major in, as long as her diploma came from his precious USC.

Brandon, however, looked a little more beaten down from living his dad's dream.  "So, what will you do?"

He glanced up at her and shrugged again.  "What do you mean?"

"If being a lawyer's not your dream," Caroline said, "what is?"

Brandon turned to stare out at the skyline again.  An airplane passed far overhead in the direction of the airport, and they both looked up to watch it pass.  "I've never told anyone this."

Caroline smiled, and reached for his hand.  She'd never put the moves on a guy this quickly before.  "I know."

Brandon squeezed her hand and sighed.  "I want to make music.  Write it, and produce it, and perform it.  All the time.  That's all I really want."

At dinner, they'd talked a bit about the band he'd started up with some buddies, but Caroline hadn't pegged it as a serious venture.  "Really?"

"Yeah."  He grinned sheepishly.  "Here you were thinking I was a real straight shooter, but now you're finding out that I'm really a bum after all.  Sorry."

"I don't think you're a bum," Caroline assured him.  "But I do think that nobody can live for very long living a life that they're not meant to lead.  You know?  Eventually it will drive you crazy and make you miserable."

Brandon looked up at her thoughtfully.  "So you think I should quit while I'm ahead?"

Caroline shook her head.  "I can't tell you what you should do.  Only you can decide that."

He looked up at her for a little bit longer before standing up and wrapping his arms around her in a gentle hug.  It wasn't awkward or forced, just a sweet embrace, and Caroline leaned into it, closing her eyes.

"Thank you," Brandon murmured against her hair.  "For being honest."

"I'm good at being honest," Caroline replied, her voice muffled against his jacket.  "Actually, it's probably more of a fault than anything else."

Brandon laughed softly, pulling back to look her in the eyes.  "I disagree.  I think your honesty is just what I need in my life, Caroline."

She blushed, and a cool breeze blew some of her hair across her face.  Brandon pushed it back behind her ear gently before leaning in.  "Can I kiss you now?"

"Isn't that why you brought me up here in the first place?" Caroline whispered back.  Brandon smirked.

"See?  Honesty."  With that, he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers.   Again, the fit was perfect. 

After their kiss, Brandon had produced the cell phone that he'd owned at the time, and taken their picture with the camera function.  The low-quality shot was grainy and blurry, but Caroline had loved it so much that she'd had him email it to her, saved it to a flash-drive, and gotten it printed at CVS.  Now, she picked the frame up and turned it upside down, laying it face down on the bookcase.  It was a bad picture of a great night, and at that time, Caroline had been more or less convinced that Brandon was the one for her, forever. 

But now...Caroline turned away and her eyes automatically went to her Blackberry, abandoned on the couch.  She picked it up, powered it on, and selected the photo gallery.  Caroline almost never used her phone for any kind of pleasure, besides maybe checking Facebook every now and again.  She hadn't even known it had a camera until Rob showed her how to use it at the Vegas benefit concert. 

"Get in next to JC and I'll take your picture," he'd suggested, motioning her to scoot closer to her boss.  "Come on!"

Caroline had grudgingly slipped out of her seat and stood next to JC, brooding over his gin and tonic.  However, he'd leaned in amicably, offering what Caroline had come to know as his "press smile", a closed-mouth sort of half-smirk that came nowhere near the goofiness of his genuine smile. 

Looking back on the picture now, neither of them looked particularly happy to be photographed, but there was something underlying in the image that Caroline couldn't quite put her finger on.  In fact, even trying to pinpoint what it was made Caroline uncomfortable.  She tossed the phone aside, still hurt by JC's actions that morning.

Before she could look for something to take her mind off of it, the door buzzer rang, and she crossed the room to hit the intercom.  "Hello?"

"It's me," Seth replied.  "Hurry up, this cat carrier's a heavy son of a bitch."

Caroline smiled ruefully and hit the button to unlock the front door.  If nothing else, at least she would have her cat.