Chapter 3

Justin's POV

Revelation:

The act or revealing or disclosing.  Something revealed, especially a dramatic exposure of something previously not known or realized. 

The name is like poison in my veins, detonating a fiery protectiveness which radiates out of my chest.  I can feel the anger bubbling like a volcano under the surface, threatening to spillover at the mere idea of someone, anyone other than me, holding a place in Autumn's thoughts.  It's the one thing I have fought so hard to prevent, years and years of guarding and defending Autumn from the people and the world around us.  She's the epitome of innocence and truth, warmth and love.  She's my rock, my one steady constant in a sea of total chaos that threatens to expunge me, and I have never fought harder to keep her sheltered from the madness of my life. 

But the last thing I am going to do is stand idly by, waiting and watching for someone else to swoop in and take Autumn away from me.  She's my best friend, my lifeline, the single piece of truth in my life, and the one girl who has held my heart, without ever knowing, for years.  Autumn is the key, the answer to it all, the beginning, and what I fear, the end. 

"Who the fuck is Ryan?" I ask again, the venom in my voice exuding out with each thought that annihilates me simultaneously.

Autumn looks at me, her mouth hanging open, eyes wide, while her thoughts fire on rapid succession.  Confusion.  Shock.  Guilt.

She tries to mask it, cover it all in a façade of neutrality but I can still feel the undertones of the hidden thoughts.

"How do you know about Ryan?" she asks, he voice steady but my hand wrapped around her wrist provides all the answers I need. 

"Were you ever going to tell me?" I ask again, knowing the anger is apparent in my voice.

Suddenly, she rips her hand out of my grasp, severing the connection I have to her mind, to her thoughts, to the truth behind the words.  Her breath is heavy, chest rising and falling quickly while her cheeks are reddening with embarrassment-shame-anger.

"How do you know, Justin?  I haven't spoken or heard from you in six months, six months that you just disappear, like you always do, not one note, one call, one explanation."

"You never ask for an explanation."

"And I'm not asking for one now."

"Quit avoiding the question..." I chastise.

She sighs and I can hear the defeat in her breath, the slump in her shoulders, and the tired look in her eyes.  She can never turn me away, no matter how hard I push, or pull away, she's always there.  And tonight, despite her front, is no different.

Taking a deep breath, she says, "If I tell you who he is, will you tell me how you know?"

"Yes." 

She gives me a disapproving look before giving in, reluctantly.  I never divulge the truth, well at least not technically.  "He's a guy I've been seeing for about a month."

"Is it serious?"

"Kind of, I don't know.  We're just dating."

"When are you seeing him again?"

She shakes her head-refusing to continue.  "How did you know, Justin?"

"Trace."  It's the first thing to pop into my head-other than the truth. 

She sighs, rolling her eyes in frustration.  "Figures, I should have known.  He was the one to introduce me to Ryan, of course he would tell you.  He tells you everything."

Not really.

Trace has never divulged much when it comes to his friendship with Autumn.  In fact, if Trace had his way, he'd remove me from the equation all together, take Autumn away from me so that I can't ever reach, touch, or manipulate her again.  He might not understand the depth of the connection I feel for Autumn, or that she feels for me, but he knows damn well how much of an addiction it is, a confounded string of memories, present situations, and future aspirations that encircle each other.

"He introduced you to him?" I ask incredulously.  My anger is bubbling under the surface, simmering to a boil and my hands automatically clench into fists.  I literally want to pound Trace's face in.  "That mother-" I cut myself off, a slight whisper under my breath.  He's officially the next stop on my list of places to go, now that I am back.  "You can't see this guy, Autumn."

Her eyes widen, clearly taken aback by my brashness.

"Ever again...I mean it."

Taking a deep breath, as if she's trying to regain some type of composure, she turns away from me, blowing me off and heading up the stairs.

"End it," I yell to her retreating form, finality in my words.

She spins on her heels, her eyes alive with a fire that I have rarely seen unleashed from its cages before.  "You expect me to end it with a guy who treats me a hell of a lot better, and with much more respect, than you ever have, just because you're back and can't stand the idea that someone else might be more important than you?"

Her words sting, hitting too close to home and threatening to break any ounce of composure I am holding onto.  Autumn has never put anyone ahead of me in her life as I've never given her the opportunity to do it.  Obviously this last trip has shaken the foundations that we have established, and I absolutely refuse to let some nobody ruin the one good thing in my life, the one person that holds me together.

I take a couple steps up her stairs, closing in on her like a predator stalks his prey.  My steps are confident, the definitive aura settling in around me.  I am not letting her go, not now, not ever.  The unsureness flickers behind her blue eyes, knowing that I am unwilling to back down from what I want.  And right now, I want her.

"You will end it, Autumn."  I take the last few steps with a steady stride, the anger dissipating and the confidence settling in at my words, through my body, squarely planting itself in my head. 

One touch.  One glimpse.

Reaching for her arm, I ease at the contact, skin-to-skin, the reassurance I need fluttering under the surface.  She's scared.  And with fear comes vulnerability.

"You belong with me...nobody else, Autumn."

"Why do you do this, Justin?" she whispers, the defeat clear in her voice, the defensiveness sliding away...for now.  "Is this a game to you?  Is that what I am, a game?"

I tighten my hold, allowing the images of our past to wash over me like a tidal wave, soothing the ache in my chest. 

The birthday parties.  Nights spent on the couch. Comforting her at her parents' funeral.  The long nights holding her as she cried out her broken heart.  Piecing it all back together again.  The laughs.  The smiles.  The tears.  She was, and still is, everything.

"You've never been a game, and you're not one now.  But if you think I am going to stand by and let someone else have you, hold you, kiss you, and touch you..." I trail off, my eyes dipping to her full lips.  The soft, plush skin, a quick touch, a spark that ignites the fire, just one kiss to seal my fate, and it's all over.  "You don't know me very well then, Autumn."

She swallows deeply, the nervousness pooling her mind but the desire is hiding there as well.  Autumn has never been able to hide her attraction, and there's always been a part of me that feeds off that.  To know that the one person who controls me, so easily, can wind me up like a spring and take me down a notch all within the same second-to know that she feels the same, even if she won't admit it-for now, that's enough. 

"Goodnight, beautiful.  I'll see you tomorrow morning," I whisper, planting a light kiss on her cheek before severing the connection and walking away from my eternal sun.

Immediately, I miss the heat, her light, her ability to consume all my thoughts with just one look, one touch.  One thought and she spins my world off its axis.  As I reach for the door, I pull it open, refusing to look back at her, knowing that walking away won't be an option after being apart from her for six months.  Six months without her touch, her mind, her thoughts.  God, I've missed her.

Stepping into the cool night air, the chill is enough to snap me out of the haze and bring me back to the present.  The cloudiness lifts from my mind and the silence is a welcomed presence that I have been missing.  Six months of constant work. Scrutinizing, plotting, scheming. Six months of deception, pretending to be anything but me; dissolving my life here, cutting anyone and everyone out of my life for their own protection--for my own safety--to be able to focus on the task-at-hand.  Get in, get out, and always come back for Autumn.

Sliding my finger against the un-lock button on my keyless entry system, my Benz comes to life, shining light into the dark street.  Stepping inside, the smell of leather assaults me, the twinge of new car smell still lingering in the small space.  I've missed my other baby.

Starting the car, I pop the clutch, speeding off in the direction of Trace's house, not giving one damn that he's probably sleeping or that I am about to barge into his house.  That mother fucker has a lot to answer for.

Starting with hooking Autumn up with someone else.