"Come on, Rosie, you ready to meet the kids?" The golden dog at the end of the leash wagged her tail as she sniffed everything she could reach. She took her time sniffing the bushes at the side of the door, finally peeing next to one. I opened the door and let her into the house, keeping her close on the leash.

Rosalind kept her nose to the floor, tail slowing as she undoubtedly picked up on Jake and Zeus' scent. She woofed quietly and tugged on the leash. I slowly walked her towards the back of the house. She stopped just outside the door to the living room and started to squat again.

"Rosalind! NO!" I  commanded, pulling the leash. She only managed a few drops of urine before I had tugged her back to a standing position. My shout had alerted those in the house that something was up. Celine came to the top of the stairs and the twins peeked out from the family room. Eyes went wide at the sight of the strange dog. Within seconds I was surrounded, hands reaching for the dog and excited chatter overlapping each other.

"If she pees in the house, you three can clean it up!" I exploded. The three backed up and let me through and followed close behind. We made our way slowly to the back door. "Come on Rosie, you can sniff later." We finally made it to the back door and made it outside. I kept her on the leash as everyone noticed and came over to investigate.

Zeus barged right up to her and started sniffing at her, growling softly. "Zeus," I warned. He stopped growling and moved cautiously to her backside to sniff. Jake hung back and nearly turned tail and ran across the yard when Rosie went to sniff him. Zeus resumed his quiet growling.

"Zeus Chasez. Behave." He gave me pitiful puppy eyes and wagged his tail as Josh, Harry and the girls met up with us. I barely managed to unclasp the leash before the kids descended on her.

"Be gentle," I advised, paying attention to Rosie's body language. When she started wagging her tail, I glanced over at Josh. He caught my eye and headed into the house. I grabbed Zeus' collar (he had started to nudge everyone for attention) and went in.

"Sam," His tone was a quiet one as he leaned against the door to the kitchen.

"I had to," I started. "She had been there for nearly six months and they were talking about what a shame it was going to be if they had to send her to the city pound because they simply didn't have the room to keep her any more. I've walked her every week, she's the sweetest dog I've ever met. She never barked either. She would just sit there and watch your every move with sad eyes." I felt mine tear up a little at the thought of the fate she nearly had. "She had an elderly owner who passed away and the son's wife was allergic, and nobody wants an older dog, they just want puppies. I couldn't let her go to the pound for a few more days of rejection before they put her to sleep."

I remembered that she had managed to pee on the floor and brushed past him to get a few towels and mopped up the spot she got. Josh hadn't moved when I returned to the kitchen to toss the dirty paper towels and wash my hands.

"Sam," Josh's voice was just as quiet as before.

I took a deep breath, steeling myself for what I was sure I wasn't going to like. The angrier Josh got, the quieter he was. Until he couldn't hold it in, then you'd be treated to extreme politeness, with the deadly undercurrent of anger ebbing at the edges of his words.

"Yes?" I answered, staring down at the drain. When he didn't say anything for a few minutes I glanced over at him. He was staring at the floor, arms folded. "Josh?"

He looked up. "I...We..." he sighed. "We're slipping." he settled on.

I mouthed the words as they settled in. "Are we?"

Josh nodded once. "Things are changing-"

"You mean I'm changing and you don't like it."

"I never said that."

"You didn't have to. It's obvious since you're the only one that's not happy." Josh's mouth got as thin as I had ever seen it. "Seriously, Joshua, all you have to do is tell me when you're feeling neglected. I know I've got a lot going on right now, between classes and subbing and doing some time down at the shelter when I can."

Josh made to interrupt but I continued on. "I can't just sit here and play housewife my entire life. Especially when you're home as well most of the fucking time. I want, no I need to be able to do something other than my innate talent of getting knocked up at the drop of a hat. I want to teach, you were right, I feel like I've found my calling. Can't you be happy for me about that? I'm twenty-eight years old and I've finally decided what I want to do with my life. Not everyone can be like you and just stumble upon their talent and life calling as a kid."

"You left out the copious amount of time you spend down the street." Josh hissed.

"We're back to the Lance thing? Really? How many times do I have to tell you there is nothing going on. There hasn't been anything going on for years. He's my friend just as much as he is yours. Not to mention he's always going to be a part of our life because of the twins."

"I realize that," he said. "But you've said you've reached your goal with your exercising, so why you feel the need to with him so often..."

"He's my friend. I need someone to talk to besides you and my children, you know."

"And just what can you talk to him about that you can't talk to me about?"

"You." It wasn't a complete lie, he did come up on occasion, but it was far from the entire truth. I watched as he blinked a few times.

"Don't you think I'd like to know about it?" His expression changed, and for a microsecond he looked devastated. "I mean, if they're about me I'd like to know."

"What things?"

"Whatever secrets you're keeping with Lance."

"Lance knows nothing. The only 'secrets' I keep with him are what we plan out in advance for gifts. For the twins." And sometimes for you, I thought.

He narrowed his eyes. "What if I want a divorce?" he asked quietly.

"Because you think I'm hiding something from you? Go right on ahead. I'll tell you right now. You file for it, I'm taking the kids back home with me, and you're paying spousal and child support. I've got just enough money to make it back home since you were right the other day, I should be doing more paid work than charity work since I did kind of empty out my bank account to give you a son."

"What?"

"I paid the fertility clinic the extra money to increase the chances of Harry being a boy."

Josh's mouth opened, nothing came out of it so he shut it and tried again. "We decided together we weren't going to do that."

"And I felt like you needed a son."

"So you felt like keeping it secret from me for three years. Fuck, Samantha, I...fuck." He turned and left the room. I listened to him go up the stairs.

I turned back to the sink, shaking slightly as I turned the water on, splashing some onto my face. Muffled thuds and bangs came from the general area of the bedroom. I forced myself over to the table and sat down. Zeus came over and rested his head on my lap, whining softly. I scratched him behind the ears and he started wagging his tail. Above us the muffled thuds had stopped, replaced by the occasional squeak of the one floorboard.

An eternity later, but a glance at the clock said about a half hour had passed, a car horn sounded and Josh his way down the stairs. A duffel bag was slung over his shoulder.

"Where are you going?" I asked, pretty sure I knew the answer already.

"Orlando," he didn't turn around, but adjusted the bag.

I nodded, not caring that he didn't see it. He hesitated a second longer, and when I didn't say anything else he made his way to the front door. I braced myself for a slam, but it never came. Instead, I got up and walked to the living room, watching as he climbed into the cab and left.

I sank into the couch, letting the tears come. How long I sat there like that I wasn't sure, but I nearly jumped a mile when the voice came from the doorway.

"Mom?" Celine's voice wavered. I wiped at my face and waved her over. She approached slowly, as if she was unsure if she was really welcome. She sat down on the couch next to me, leaning against my side. I pulled her close and we just sat. Eventually she started sniffing. She mumbled something against my side.

"What was that?" I asked. She pulled her face out of my shirt and gazed up at me through tear filled eyes.

"Is he coming back?"

I choked back a sob. "Yeah, he'll be back," I tried to reassure her, hoping that I wasn't giving away how unsure of the answer I was. She sniffed again and I pulled her onto my lap and hugged her. She hugged me back, sniffing into my shirt. I rested my chin on the top of her head and rubbed her back soothingly.

"He left without saying good-bye," she sat up, eyes wide. "Does he not love us anymore?"

"I.." I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I'm sure he still loves you. He's just mad at me."

"Because of Rosie?"

"Yeah, a little bit." She seemed pacified and rested against me again, not really crying anymore. I replayed the argument in my mind and wondered just how much she had overheard.

I kissed the top of her head. "Do me a favor. When you're old enough to get married, date a long, long time before deciding to get married."

"Boys are icky." she answered.

I laughed. "Yeah, they are." I hugged her tight. "Keep it that way as long as you can, sweetie."

"Okay," she agreed. She climbed off my lap. She headed for he door, stopping halfway across, turning around and gazing at me with her crystalline blue eyes. "What's a divorce?"

"It's when married people decide they don't want to be married anymore."

"Oh." She paused. "If you and Dad get divorced, what happens to us?"

"You'll be moving back to Ohio with me."

"Oh. What about Dad?"

"He'll probably stay here."

"We won't see him anymore?"

"I don't know. I hope he'll come visit sometimes."

"I don't want him to leave us."

I stood up, crossing the space between us in two steps and hugged her. "Me either, honey, me either." I smoothed her hair. "Come on, let's go see how Rosie's getting along with everyone."

 

Nearly three days passed before my phone rang as I was preparing dinner.

"He's here," Karen's voice was quiet.

"I know."

"He's in the living room," she added. I hummed a response. "I don't want to get in the middle of things, but he's pretty bummed out, sweetie."

"I messed up. I know I did and I'm sorry about it, but there's nothing I can do about it until he's ready to talk to me again." I put the knife I had been using down. "How much did he tell you?"

"That you got a new dog and the argument." Karen sounded apologetic. I pushed the cutting board back and moved to the living room for some privacy.

"So everything then."

"Sounds like it. I don't mean to meddle in your relationship, but I think the two of you can work through this."

"How, Momma C? He's got the right to be mad at me. And I've really messed up."

"You're not the only one to blame in this," Karen pointed out.

"I'm not?"

"Not at all, it takes two to make a marriage work."

"True."

"He's got some things he needs to talk to you about, and he did just pick up and leave you."

I sighed. "Oh, I know that very well. Explaining his sudden disappearance to the kids hasn't been a cakewalk. They're asking me every day if he's coming home." My voice started to waver. "And I honestly don't know what to tell them."

Karen made some soothing sounds. "Try giving him a call. It's been how long?"

"Three days," I answered. I blew a few strands of hair out of my face. "Do you think he'd take it?"

"I'm pretty sure he would." Karen sounded confident. I smiled.

"Alright, I'll give it a try."

I waited a few minutes, gathering up my courage to dial. It was almost at his voice mail when he answered.

"Yeah," he answered gruffly.

"I messed up."

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry."

"Alright." I heard Karen say something to him and he sighed. "Hold on a second, I need to find somewhere private."

"Okay," I agreed. The silence stretched a long moment.

"Alright."

"I'm sorry," I repeated.

"I know," He took a long pause. "You went behind my back. You went behind my back and I don't know if I can honestly believe anything you say right now."

"I can understand that."

"Good. I need time to think."

"I figured as much. Just one thing though."

"What?"

"Before we hang up, I need you to talk to Celine. She's convinced you don't love her anymore." I could almost hear Josh's frown.

"Alright."

"I love you," I said quietly. Josh didn't answer. I sighed. "Will you be here in time for Easter and the twins' birthday?"

"I don't know."

"I'd like you to be. If not for me, then at least for the kids."

"We'll see." We were silent for a long time.

"Do you want to go to counseling?" I bit the corner of my mouth, waiting his reply.

"I don't know."

"Just something to think about."

"Yeah."

"Alright, I'll hand you over to Celine."

"Okay."

I went back to the kitchen where Celine was finishing her homework.

"Someone wants to talk to you," I handed her the phone. I watched her eyes go wide when Josh answered her. She got quiet, murmuring a few "okays" and "yeahs" on her side of the conversation. By the time the conversation was done, she looked a lot calmer than she had in the past few days.

"Love you too, Dad. Please don't leave us." She said before holding the phone out for me.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Still here." Josh replied.

"Thanks."

"No problem."

I headed out of the room. "Do you think you could ever forgive me?"

"I don't know. You effectively stabbed me in the back."

"It's not like I cheated on you."

"No, it's not. It's worse. It's going to take a long time before I get over this. I don't even know if I can trust you anymore."

"I truly am sorry for keeping it from you."

"But not that you did it."

I sucked in a breath. "No. I'm not. I'm glad I did it. I wanted you to have a son, and it was our last try for one."

"I wouldn't have minded another girl."

"Bullshit. I remember the look on your face when the doctor said it was a boy. You were hoping for one."

Josh made an indistinguishable noise.

"You know what? You're just pissed that I actually did something about what we weren't going to admit. I fucking know you, Josh. I'm fluent in your language and can read between the lines. That's what really scares you."

"That's not...." Josh sighed. "This isn't something we should be discussing over the phone."

"You're right. Now you have incentive to come back, so we can finish this. I'll talk to you when you're standing right in front of me." I ignored the start of a protest and clicked the 'off' button.

I leaned against the wall, shaking slightly from the adrenaline pumping through my system. The phone rang, and seeing Josh's name show up, I threw it blindly. It sailed into the living room, bouncing off the couch and sliding across the floor to rest underneath an armchair, where it continued to ring.

Once I stopped shaking, I headed back into the kitchen where I started cleaning up the dinner I had started. I reached for the house phone and ordered pizza instead.

Dinner taken care of, I called Jen.

"Are you busy tonight?" I asked after she answered.

"Um, no, not really, why?"

"I quite suddenly feel like getting a sitter and going out for awhile. Want to come with?"

"Uh, sure. Give me an hour or so to get ready."

"That's perfectly fine. Meet up here at say, nine?" I asked. She agreed and I hung up and called around to the sitters we used, finally finding one that could do it.

 

The kids were all in bed by eight-thirty, the sitter had arrived, and I was getting dressed for a night out. Digging through the dresser for a particular undergarment, my fingers closed across what I thought was the garment but when I pulled it out, discovered it was Josh's old lion pendant, tied onto the broken cord that held it for, well, I wasn't sure how long as he had it long before we met. I fingered the timeworn leather and an idea popped into my mind. Placing it down on the top of the dresser, I pulled my crafting supply tub out from where it was stored under our bed. I dug through it until I found it - a spool of black leather cord left over from something I had done years earlier. I grabbed the scissors and cut off enough for what I had planned.

I went back to the dresser and carefully untied the knot holding the pendant on. After threading the new leather cord through the jump ring, I tied it around my neck. I admired my handiwork in the mirror, thinking all the while how weird it was to not see it on Josh. The slight pendant's weight against the hallow of my throat weighed heavily on my mind as I returned to the task at hand.

If Jen had noticed the pendant when she arrived, she didn't mention it. On the way, We hit up one of the more low-key clubs near downtown. There were the usual few paparazzi lurking about outside, and I was glad that none seem to have been schooled enough to recognize me.  Once inside, I contented myself with a chocolate martini and watching people dance.

It wasn't too long before a couple of guys came up to Jen and I. I slowly enjoyed my drink and let the compliments go to my head as they handed them out. I did manage to stop myself when one of them -Rob or Steve or something, I couldn't remember which one was which- tried to get me on the dance floor.

It was very early when Jen and I decided to leave. After a few hours of conversation, compliments and a few cocktails, I was feeling much better. On our way to the car, Jen, who had drank more than I had, slipped and fell onto the sidewalk. We giggled really hard and loudly as I offered her a hand up. She took it and after I pulled her up. She slung her arm around me, still giggling as she took her shoes off. We giggled as we made it to the car. She slid into the passenger seat.

"You good to drive?" she asked.

"Yeah, just had that one." I said as I started the car. Paparazzi seemed to come out of nowhere as I started to try and leave. Only a few were taking photos of us in the car, probably just covering their bases more than knowing who either of us were.

"How do you handle it?" Jen asked.

"Handle what?" I asked, confused.

"Being married to a famous person. This." She waved her hand at the photographers. "The paparazzi."

I laughed softly. "I generally get more attention when I'm out and about with all the kids than I do when I'm with Josh. As for the paparazzi, they can take all the photos of me and Josh that they want. It's when they start to hover around the kids I start to get upset."

"Yeah," Jen agreed.

"Though, when they just stand around and block traffic..."I sighed. They weren't moving so that I could pull away.

"Put the top down," Jen said. I looked over at her. "Just do it," she said. I located the button and pressed it, watching the retractable roof of Josh's car start to move.

Jen folded her legs underneath herself before standing up on the seat. She leaned over the top of the windshield and I could just imagine the view they were getting, since the few men blocking our way stopped and stared at her. "Hey, lovelies, mind moving out of our way? We just want to go on home. We're nobody of particular interest, so you're wasting your time with us."

 A few of them moved out of the way, and she sat back down. I was able to start moving forward slowly, and ignored the flashes out of the corner of my eye as I pulled away.

"You are something else," I said once we were out of earshot. She laughed.

"Just because you're married doesn't mean you can't use what you've got to get what you need from someone else."

I just smiled.

 

When we got back to the house, it was silent...except that my cell was ringing from where I had left it under the chair in the living room. Jen retrieved it and handed it over to me.

"It's JC."

I clicked the ignore option and caught Jen frowning.

"You can crash with me tonight. Unless you prefer the couch."

She kept frowning at me.

"What?"

"You and JC okay?"

"I'm just too tired to talk right now," I lied. My phone started ringing again, this time for a text. Jen grabbed it from me and read the text.

"He wants you to call him right now," she read, handing it back to me.

"I know," I replied, reaching for my phone as it started to ring again. Jen answered it.

She flipped it immediately to speakerphone. "Hello?"

There was a pause. "Jen?"

"Yeah, sorry. I know you were expecting Sam." She stared at me over the phone, looking suddenly more sober than she had a few minutes earlier.

"Sam?" Josh asked. Jen continued staring at me.

"I'm here," I finally replied.

"So now I'm good enough for your attention."

"I already told you everything I'm going to like this."

"So you can feel justified ignoring me." I moved closer to the phone in Jen's hand.

"There is no point in trying to fix this from opposite ends of the country."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Is this seriously how you two argue? What are we, twelve?" Jen asked. I blinked and looked at her. Josh stayed silent. "Look, I don't know what this is all about, nor do I want to, but JC, she does have a point. Distance doesn't fix anything. It just adds to the problem, usually." She paused and looked at me over the phone. "Sam, you're like, my closest friend and all, so I'm saying this because I love you, but you can be so stubborn when it comes to some things. And JC, I don't know you as well, but that probably fits you too." She paused and neither of us spoke. "Now, I don't want to get in the middle of this, but I will point out one thing here. You really need to work this out. You two love each other. Nuh-" she added as I opened my mouth to reply. "It's the God-honest truth. If you didn't still love him, you wouldn't be wearing that-" she pointed to where Josh's pendant rested. "And yes, I noticed you were wearing it. Everyone did because you played with it all night long. And JC still loves you because he wouldn't be on the phone with you at fuck o'clock in the morning. When he could be sleeping. It's common knowledge and has been since he's been a teenager that he loves to sleep."

I wasn't sure why, but by the end of her rant at us, it hit just the way that made it funny and I started giggling. Jen joined in and when we heard Josh mutter something about women over the phone we just giggled harder.

"Oh, C, she's really got you down." I breathed finally. Josh harrumphed, which set us off into another round of giggles.

Finally calming down, I yawned. "Alright, can we continue this later? I've got about three hours before I need to get up," I pointed out.

"Yeah, fine." Josh replied. He and Jen exchanged pleasantries before hanging up.

 

Four days after that night, I was working on homework when something touched the back of my neck. I jumped swatting behind me and looked up to see Josh there.

"You're back."

"Yeah."

"And?" I prompted. He moved to sit in the chair across from me at the table.

"I want to try to work this out."

I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. "Me too." I marked where I was in my book and closed it. "You want anything?" I asked, picking up my stuff and moving it back to the spot on the counter I usually left it.

"Nah, I'm good." He said.

I sat back down and stared at him. "Okay, so what now?"

He frowned. "I don't know. I think it might be time to get some help."

"Counseling?" I asked. Josh looked up from his hands and nodded. "Alright."

"You're okay with that idea?"

"Yes." I gave him a tiny smile and he returned it.

We sat in silence for a long moment before we both spoke at once.

"I missed you."

"You're still wearing it." he pointed out.

"Wearing what?"

"My necklace," he glanced down at the nape of my neck. I brought a hand up and fingered it gently.

"I missed you, it kind of felt like having you close by." I felt along the leather cord. "You can have it back."

"You can wear it. It looks good on you."

I stopped and gazed at him. "You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Alright," I said, bringing my hands back down. "If you're sure." Something tickled at the back of my mind, telling me something was off. I frowned and concentrated on it. It finally hit me and I watched Josh for a moment.

"What do you mean still wearing it?" I asked.

"You haven't taken it off, have you?"

"No, but that's not the point. I didn't put it on until after you had left. Days after. How could you have known if you weren't here?"

Josh sighed and rubbed his temples.

"You were photographed on your little night out."

"Yeah, I know. Kind of happens out here."

"Yeah, well sometimes those photos get published."

I raised my eyebrows. "I was interesting enough to get published?"

"Somebody recognized you, and thought it would be a good idea to let me know."

"Hmm. Do I want to know where I'm plastered?"

Josh's lips twisted into a smirk. "Perez."

"Oh for pete's sake. What'd that sexually-fustrated-cyber-bullying idiot have to say?"

"Pretty much that you and Jen were lovers, which would free me up for my 'relationship with Chase'."

I snorted. "Yeah, okay. He needs a check in reality."

Josh laughed in agreement. A scratch at the back door got me out of the chair to let the dogs in. Josh must have made a noise since instead of bounding into the family room like they normally did, they went straight for him. I chewed my lip as I watched him interact with Rosie. I watched and hoped that we could work it out.