"You know I'm working this summer," Josh said from behind me. I jumped and looked up from the list I was making.

"Yeah, I know," I answered. America's Best Dance Crew had been a pretty good hit and they got renewed for a second season. 

"I figure you're going to have Lance take the twins, and Scott will have Celine and Scottie." he started. I nodded. "Are you taking the girls and Harry with you on the road trip?"

"No." I replied simply. Josh raised an eyebrow at me.

"They'll be spending a fair amount of time with Jen, that's not fair to them or Jen," he pointed out.

"No, they won't be. They're going to be at Grandma and Grandpa's for a month. Karen's already agreed to take them for a few weeks," I told him, going back to my list.

"You could have told me," Josh said softly.

"I thought I did," I looked up at him again. He shook his head. "Sorry," I apologized. We stared at each other for a moment before I went back to the list of things I needed to do for the road trip.

"Sam," Josh's voice was calm and quiet. I looked up, knowing just by the tone of voice I wasn't going to like what came next. "Why are you doing this, really?" he asked. His expression was sad and it sent a pang of guilt through me. I looked up for a moment, deciding on how to start the explanation.

"You remember when you surprised me at home after I left Lance?"

"Yes."

"You told me one of the days during that first week that Lance wanted me in the twin's life. And I told you I needed time to figure out who I was."

"I vaguely remember something about that."

"That's what this is about. I didn't take the time I needed to figure out who I was. And lately I've been feeling a bit...lost, I guess. I just want two weeks to myself, without you, without the kids, to figure some things out about myself. That's all I want, two weeks. I'll be back at the end of June and we'll go from there."

Josh studied me for a moment. "Are you okay, Sam?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, I'm okay," I held his gaze as he searched my face.

"No, you're not." he said softly and he closed the distance between us and wrapped his arms around me. "Talk to me," he whispered into my ear.

I leaned into him for a moment, breathing in the scent of our laundry detergent and him. For the moment, this was the Josh I had married. The one that knew me better than I knew myself and could see through any facade I put up, and would call me on it.

"I'm just tired," I whispered. Josh rubbed my back gently waited for me to continue. "Tired of being nothing but a label. Tired of being Samantha Chasez, Sam the Super-Mom. I'm tired of the negative comments from the press that I get in my inbox occasionally from well-meaning friends, thinking I should probably know what they're saying about me. I want no, need to be just Sam for a little while," I whispered.

Josh continued to hold me and rub my back and kissed the top of my head.

"Getting away for a few days with the girls worked the last time. I just want it to again," I pulled back and looked up at him. His eyes were sad as he looked at me.

"Okay," he said simply. "You are definitely going on that trip and I don't want you to worry about a thing while you're on it."

I gave him a shaky smile, feeling drained from the effort involved in telling him what had been building up.

"I love you, Samantha. Never doubt that," he said, his eyes never leaving mine.

"I know. I love you too, Joshua," I answered back. He squeezed my hand and I squeezed back, mentally shifting into the organized logical mode I had to be in to keep everything from falling about me.  I offered Josh a small smile again before returning to my list. Josh gave me a patt on the butt as he left the kitchen, heading for the family room.