I was released from the hospital after a few days, but little Harry was far from being ready to come home. Josh and I spent most of our days those first few days home, at the hospital, at his crib side.

A few days after my release, the kids started returning home in anticipation of the start of school. We took Celine and Scottie to see Harry once, since they were the only ones that could behave appropriately and understand what was going on for the most part. But now, just a few days before school started, we had a full house again, between all the kids being back home and Josh's parents in town for the few days to help out a little.

Zara's fourth birthday started out much like the past few days, but with more energy and chaos from the expectation of the impending party that afternoon. Josh and I managed to slip out right after breakfast for a few hours at the hospital, checking on little Harry. He was doing as well as he had been doing, gaining weight slowly but surely, and his lungs were developing as the doctors hoped.

Once we tore ourselves away for the day, we did the last minute errands of picking up the cake and a few other things before heading home.

Friends of the older children had started to arrive, along with a few parents while we were gone. I greeted them while quickly putting things away. I urged everyone outside where Josh was starting up the grill for lunch.

I brought out the food to be cooked and let Josh and Roy do the 'manly thing' and cook the food. I headed back into the house to organize what needed to be done. I nibbled on one of the chicken shish kabobs when they were ready before heading in for the presents.

Zara was totally spoiled by everyone, getting just about everything she asked for. Once the presents were all opened and the pictures taken of her opening them, the adults hung back a little, letting the kids run off their newfound energy. Josh snuck up behind me and took my hand in his as I was talking to the mother of one of Celine's friends. I shot him a quick smile as I continued to tell the story I was in the middle of. Once I was done, he pulled me away a little bit and pulled a small jewelry box out of his pocket.

"I want you to have this," He handed the box to me and I opened it to find some diamond earrings.

"Josh, you didn't have to."

"I know."

I hugged him and gave him a kiss before heading into the house to put the earrings away.

On my way back out, I fixed the cake up and brought it out, singing 'Happy Birthday' as I carried it carefully to the table. Everyone gathered around and watched as Zara carefully thought about what to wish for before blowing out the candles. I felt myself tear up a little as I watched her. Karen took the cake back and started cutting it into pieces for everyone and passing it around.

"What's wrong?" Josh asked as he brought me a piece. I gave him a small smile and took the plate he offered. He sighed and took both plates and put them down before pulling me into a hug.

"He's doing fine, Sam. You did everything right, it wasn't your fault," he whispered. I nodded into his shoulder.

"It just feels so wrong to be celebrating like this when he's fighting for his life," I answered, pulling away and wiping the tear that had fallen.

Josh took my face in his hands and I leaned into them slightly. "We earned the right to celebrate today. Especially you. I remember the bedrest, I was right there next to you four years ago as you went through it all. If anyone should be celebrating Zara's birthday it should be you."

I nodded, smiling at the memory of Josh holding Zara for the first time.

"You held her like she was made of glass and would break if you did anything so much as breathe on her," I said quietly. "The look on your face that night is one of my most vivid and favorite memories." I admitted.

Josh smiled and I could see a faint glimmer of the emotion that had taken him over that night in his eyes. I gave him a quick kiss on the lips and rubbed his arms.

"I'm good now. Thank you." I picked up the cake and went back to watching the party.