I felt the matteress move as Josh eased himself onto it.

"Something's bothering you."

I turned my head and faced him.

"What makes you say that?"

"You're lying here on your back, staring at the ceiling while there's a book in your lap."

I sat up, moving the book to the nightstand.

"I had another feeling thing," I started. Josh looked confused.

"The ones I've been having the past six months? It started with wanting to hold a baby back on my birthday."

"Ah. Those ones," Josh says.

"Yeah. Anyways, I had another one on Saturday. I was just thinking how Olivia's going to be two on Saturday and I just felt sad, I suppose."

"Our little girl is growing up."

"Yeah, but that wasn't why I was sad. I miss something. Something I never thought I'd say-" I chuckled once before continuing, "I miss breastfeeding."

Josh blinked as I watched him. "You miss breastfeeding."

"I do. It's a pain, literally, but the way you bond with your child. I miss it."

Josh nodded. "Alright."

"But that doesn't bother me so much as the other thing," I added.

"What other thing?"

"You remember that one night we were all hanging together, it must have been oh, right after Lance and I started dating, and we were talking about what we wanted in life?"

"I think so, yeah."

"I said I could see you with two children?"

Josh nods, his eyes not leaving mine, clearly curious as to where this was going.

"I can see you with three now," I whisper.

"I've got six, Sam. Same as you."

I smile to myself at the sentiment behind his comment. "I mean biologically."

"And?"

"Seven doesn't seem that bad." I rush out. Josh's eyebrows scrunch up in the way that meant he was thinking.

"So you're saying you want to try for another one?"

"I think something is telling me to. You know that I've hated that I did 'the snip'. I know six are more than enough for anybody, but I just...I don't know, a small part of me wishes all of them were yours." I looked down, startled by what had slipped out.

Josh gave a short laugh.

"I didn't mean that!" I quickly added.

"Sam, it's alright. And as far as I see, I do have six children. I don't love the girls any more than I do Scott or Lance's."

"I know," I replied quietly. We watched each other for a moment.

"Even if we decide to go for another one, there is the fact you can't get pregnant."

"They have needles long enough we can bypass the tubes with," I couldn't help the smile as Josh visibly scrunched his nose at the thought. "Good thing that'll be on my end and not yours."

"I'm never going to live that down, am I?"

"Probably not." I sobered up again. "Are we seriously considering this?"

"I think so. We've been talking about adopting lately," I nodded. "So we have been thinking about another child, though I thought we were thinking on the older side."

"We were."

"But?"

"Something is pulling me towards giving IVF a try. I'm willing to do the infant thing again, if you are."

Josh sighed as he got off the bed and walked to the window, scratching the back of his head as he thought. I watched him for what felt like hours before he turned back to me.

"What happens if we try it and it doesn't work right away?"

"Then I accept it and we move on."

"You sure?"

"Yes. I'm happy with what I have, I really am. It's this feeling I've got to give it a shot is all. I've learned to trust it over the years."

"Woman's intuition?"

"I guess," I got up and stood next to him at the window, looking out at the back yard. "I know it's not the best idea, I know I should be more than happy with how blessed I am. And I am happy. It's just my heart is telling me to go for it, take the risk, see what happens." I glanced over at Josh. "It's what I felt in 2001 when I walked into my living room to find someone sitting on the couch. I'm not saying that we should go for it until it works. I'm just asking for one shot at it. If it works, it works. If it doesn't, the attempt of trying it should quiet whatever it is that's telling me to do it."

"You said when you were pregnant with Olivia that your body couldn't handle another baby-"

"Two and a half years ago. This is the longest I've gone between pregnancies since I was seventeen. I'm twenty-five, I'm in my prime."

"We could do a surrogate."

"We could, but I'd be too anxious. If we're going to do it, I want to be able to control what our child is exposed to."

Josh exhaled and searched my eyes. I saw fear flicker across his for a nanosecond before he exhaled. "I guess I'm in then. Let's give it one shot."

I smiled and hugged him. "Just one, I promise."