A month of happiness...

A month full of tabloid stories.

Happiness doesn't attract attention, scandals make them the money.

Tabloids are cruel.

You're either overjoyed with happiness and ready to walk down the aisle or you are heartbroken, ending a relationship, and involved with someone new too quickly. There's never a clean break. There's always another party involved with the end of a relationship, there's always a scandal in the making.

In my particular case, I was the cheating girlfriend, who reportedly fell in love with my friend/producer and hid the relationship for months. And now I was heartbroken because Justin decided to walk away from me. Justin realized that I would never be faithful and he wouldn't stand next to me and let himself get hurt in the process.

In reality, the only thing I was truly guilty of was falling for someone so quickly after the official split. Granted there were some moments that weren't so innocent on my part but the lies and betrayal that have been written were more fabricated than the truth.

The truth is, we were happy. We were in love.

It truly was a month of happiness.

A lump in my throat slowly made its way down to the pit of my stomach. It was such a horrible feeling seeing headlines of just blatant lies and hurtful words. Sometimes words can mean the world, but sometimes they hurt more than they could ever heal.

BUSTED! Malia was spotted sneaking out to clubs without Justin Timberlake on her arms, again. Maybe Justin should watch her every move. The relationship started with an affair and will end with an affair.

I pulled my hat down further over my face, shielding myself from the others standing in the line. The stories printed on every cover embarrassed every fiber in my body. A stop at a grocery store to purchase snacks shouldn't cause so much pain or worry that someone will know who you are and be put on the spot about daunting questions you didn't want to answer to someone you didn't know.

"You alright?" Ingrid asks, placing her hand over mine.

I nodded my head, exhaling a deep hard breathe as I turned and walked toward the exit of the store. Ingrid reached up to the shelves, dropping a magazine down onto the conveyer belt before joining me at the exit.

"The guy in those photos is..." I finally spoke, back on the bus.

"It doesn't matter who it is." Ingrid interrupted me. "You know the truth. Justin knows the truth." She sympathetically responded.

"I know..." I lowered my head, "But those headlines make me look like I'm cheating... those photos make me continuously look like a horrible person."

"Malia- Justin knows you. He knows the person you are. That isn't going to change with a couple photos of you and someone you work with everyday, walking out of anywhere together." Ingrid reached in her plastic handled bag, dropping a copy of a magazine onto the table in front of me.

Sneaking out of a romantic dinner in New York City hand in hand, Justin and Malia found themselves in a sweet embrace as they waited for their car. Through everything, they simply just look in love and happy to be in each other presence.

A photo plastered across the entire magazine brought a smile to my face. A dark and grainy photo of Justin and I standing in the dark alley, his hands wrapped around my body, with my forehead resting on his heart, listening to the very beat of his being.

Justin had flown into New York City for just the day to see me. It was just another stop on the tour for me, but it was a scheduled trip for him. Our time had turned into a schedule of epic proportions.

"Not all the tabloids are wrong..." Ingrid said smiling from ear to ear.

"I really do love that man."I smiled, "I'm not sure how I managed to snag him but I do love him."

"You both deserve to be happy. And I think the two of you make each other happy..." Ingrid beamed. "I'm gonna give you a little piece of advice..."

"Okay..." I said nervous.

"Stop trying to avoid the press. Stop making it out to be this enormous secret, just let it be what it is."

"I've just wanted to preserve it for as long as I could. It's the one thing that I wanted to keep to just me. It was something I didn't have to be public about."

"You're lives are public now. And unless you walk away from everything that isn't going to change."

She was right, I was aware of that. I didn't want to keep Justin as my big (un-kept) secret but I wanted to hold onto what we have and not let anyone pry into that.

As the day of world-winded emotions began to settle down, I can feel the excitement of the fans roaring through the walls of the area. I was moments from taking the stage. Standing in position I feel the tingles in my hands as they were wrapped around the steel of the microphone. It was the third show of the week, but this one felt like the first show of the tour, or a crowd of an artist that hasn't toured in years. They were ready and I could feel it in every fiber of my body.

The lights and the arena shut off and if possible the crowd became more responsive. The emotion began to get the best of me. This was going to be a crowd that I would never forget. Song by song they empowered my own strength and will power to keep going. They wanted more and I was giving them all I had.

In the darkness I took my place at the black grand piano, resting my fingers along the white keys, waiting for that moment when I knew to start my line. Even in five inch heels, I could sit at that piano and never miss a note.

My fingers started to move along the keys, as the light came up slowly. "Something always brings me back to you. It never takes too long..." The words began to painfully release through my vocal cords. "Not matter what I say or do, I still feel you here, till the moment I'm gone."

With each line delivered, the crowd listened intently. They never distanced themselves from the ballad. The hums of their voices sang along.

"Set me free... leave me be... I don't wanna..." Just as I began to sing the first line of the chorus, I began to chock up. The crowd interrupted my words, chiming in and taking over, erupting in song, "...fall in love the moment into your gravity. Here I am, as I stand, so tall. Just the way I'm supposed to be..."

I stood, leaning my head back, taking in that overwhelming feeling of their love. They sang each word in perfect harmony. This was one of those moments that Justin had described to me, but I never thought it would happen. In that moment it dropped me to my knees. With the microphone in hand, I found myself on that stage, reaching for the back of my neck. I gripped the tattoo that had a new meaning for me.  Goosebumps covered my skin, and the warmth of his love flowed through my body. Justin, even thousands of miles away, was there with me. He was right behind me, always with me.

I managed to find the words that belonged there and joined in as they sang along word for word. "But you're on to me and all over me." I found the strength through them yet again to finish the song with even more passion that I had ever done before.

Coming off that stage, I felt like I could take on the world.

I had found the meaning of my life in their gesture.

As I hopped off the bus and through the lobby of the hotel I got to spend a couple minutes on the phone with the one person I wished was with me right now to share this moment with.

I slid open the door of my hotel room, dropping everything in my hands to the table and shut the door behind me. As I rounded the corner, I saw Janelle and Sam both in my room, rising from their seats, both of their faces were laced with stress and worry.

"Hey babe... I gotta go." My words trailed slowly. "Have a safe flight. I'll see you when you get here..." As I turned off the phone, and double checked that I ended the call, I look back at them, still straight worry on their faces.

Knowing whatever the reason they were here wasn't good, I blurted, "What? Just tell me..."

"Malia hunny..." Janelle reached out to take my hand, but I pulled it back quicker than she could respond.

Was it my parents? Did something happen to them? Why else would Janelle be here in Virginia, and not in New York where she belongs?

"Why are you here Janelle?" I turned away from her, "Sam, what is going on?"

"It's Aaron." Sam swallowed hard, "He overdosed... Max found him this morning in his apartment."

My eyes vigorously bounced around the room, not focusing on anything or anyone. "Did he succeed?" I swallowed back the words. The last thing I would want is for his mother to deal with that level of pain. She didn't deserve that for his actions.

"They don't know if he is going to pull through."

"So, explain to me why exactly is this my business? Why are you here? Why did you both fly to Virginia Beach instead of just calling me?"

"Mia..." Janelle heartbreakingly deleivered.

"No, don't Mia me." I snapped. I knew that tone. I knew the way she released my name from her vocals chords, there was something she was about to tell me.

Seeing that Janelle couldn't find the words, Sam took over, "He left a suicide note..."

Still confused I asked again, "How does this involve me?"

Janelle lowered her head as she let loose of the words. "He named you as his reason for ending his life."

 "And..." Sam finally revealed the reason they were standing in her hotel room, thousands of miles from where they were supposed to be. "He emailed the suicide note to TMZ."

Like a title wave, the crash came and the reality of those words and his actions hit like a Tsunami, knocking the wind out of me.