Beautiful lights, the star filled nights, they don't mean a thing.

Lights. Cameras. Action... Well, at least there were lights and cameras because there surely wasn't any action going on. The same scene over and over again. My foot anxiously tapped against the chair. The clock was ticking closer and closer to six and I was still here, on set instead of at my house, with Malia. I was needed for one more shot; one single framed shot and I didn't even have any lines. I was a bit agitated that I was still on set just to be in a background shot.

"CUT!" The director bellowed. He started yelling at Jillian, the female lead. "You're not on your mark."

I made myself comfortable in the chair. I was going to be here a while. Jillian was a great actress she just wasn't on her game today. Today of all days.

Never fails right? I'm that typical go to work, come home, go to bed, do it all over again the next day kind of person while I'm working and today, the one single day I have plans... the schedule is thrown off and my plans are screwed up. There wasn't this amazing party somewhere in the heart of downtown that I was attending, there wasn't a flight to catch, there was just me in my quiet, empty house and Malia. It's all I wanted.

 I began to type a message to Malia. My stomach flip flopped continuously. I haven't felt this level of butterflies in a very long time. As crazy and fucked up as our relationship has been since the day we met, I think it was all supposed to happen this way. We were supposed to learn from each other and move forward. I was supposed to learn from her and she was supposed to learn from me. She has made me, the me I wanted to be again.

I'm stuck on set. Scenes are not getting done properly. I had hoped I would get out of here on time because I really want to see you. I can't wait to have you back in my arms. I think we really need to talk about some things. There are some things that I just want to...need to say to you.

Reading back the message to myself, I delete the rambling mess that it was and started over. What do I say to her, other than what I really want to say to her? What I really wanted to say were words that should not to be expressed via a text message.

I'm still on set, it's running behind. I can't wait to see you again. I miss you.

Simple and I don't look like too much of a fool. I thought as I looked at the words. It would have to do. I pressed send and placed the phone on my lap. I couldn't stop thinking about seeing her. I knew it hadn't been that long, but it felt longer. I wanted to spend more time with her than I had right now.

My hand slowly went to the sides of her flushed skin, wrapping my fingers around her face along the edge of her jawline, pulling her closer, inhaling the scent of her skin as her face brushes past mine, resting her cheek on mine. Her hands ran over my back as she made her way up to my head, she pulled my face into hers and she kissed the tip of my nose before placing her head on my chest. It had been too long since I felt her like this. She was vulnerable and willing to just be here in the moment, with no reason to run and hide. I needed this feeling more than I got the chance to.

Malia was stubborn but not nearly as broken as she thought she was. And against what she thought was possible, she had let me in. Last night. My face light up with pure joy. Last night changed everything between us. In a simple admission, Malia's wall came crumbling down and she let me be the one standing next to her when it did.

"What is that cheesy thing you have on your face?" Trace snatches the phone off my lap. Picking it up and looking at the screen.

"What?" I asked, snatching the phone right back, confused by his presence on set.

"You." He pointed at my face. "What's up with you?"

"Just waiting to finish this scene..." I shoved the phone in my pocket.

"Yeah, whatever." He glared at me.

"Is something wrong Trace?" I asked, "You have that creepy crinkle on your forehead..."

"Why is that smile permanently place on your face? What's her name? Who has you..." he spun his finger around, circling Justin's face. "... All giddy like this."

I turned my head away from him. He could read my face better than I could sometimes and this was something I was trying to keep to myself. My relationships haven't been so great in the past. Going from over the moon happy to bottom of the barrels depression is not the easiest thing to deal with. Granted I had my fair share of dealing with his broken heart and mending that for him but this was something different, he has always been the one person to always try and protect me. He would tell me things regardless if I wanted to hear them or not.

"J." Trace said stepping in front of me. "Who is she?"

I shook my head at him, attempting to distract him. "Let me figure out what it is first... okay!"

He rolled his eyes, like he has done countless times to before. "Whatever man, just let me meet her before you marry her okay?"

"Whoa." I stepped back, "You know me better than that. I never said anything about marriage."

"I do, but that look in your eyes... Who is she?" He asked again.

"You've met her and I'm going to leave it at that." I stood up when I saw the director's assistant waving his hand at me, telling me five minutes. Finally, I thought to myself.

Until yesterday, I didn't think it was possible that I could ever get her to fall in love with me. I hoped that she wouldn't always think she was broken and chose to never love again. I guess I'm quite lucky that she has come back across that line.

 "She makes you happy?" He asked.

"Yes..." my words trailed off as I remember the last way I saw her. Her gorgeous brown hair pulled back into a ponytail, revealing the sexiest tattoo I had ever seen on a woman. It fit her perfectly and was placed at just the right placement on her neck. The way her head would turn to the side, to throw me a playful smirk would send the light down her neck and onto her bare shoulders. Her skin glistened off her radiant glow. The light scent of jack daniels on her breathe made my eyelashes flutter...

"Malia?" Traced asked as I was still off in my thoughts. "JUS-TIN?

I looked at him confused, "What?"

"That's who it is... its Malia... I thought that was..."

He was interrupted by the assistant, "Justin we're ready for you."

I started to walk away from Trace when he yelled, "We will finish this conversation..."

I turned back, "Just not right now... and not tonight."

Trace rolled his eyes and shook his head, he knew what that meant. He knew the red ribbon was going to be tied on the door, the flag was going to be out flying high, or whatever was needed to get the hint out. We never went to college together, we never shared roommates with anyone else, so this was our way of putting the warning out there.

"That's a wrap!" The director said and within seconds I was saying my goodbyes and rushing to my car. I was going to test how fast this Audi would really go. I clicked on the phone, no message or call from Malia. Maybe she was still on set as well. I thought.

The drive was quick, the traffic wasn't bad, but it could have been and I didn't notice a thing. I had a one track mind now and only one mission at hand.

With full hands I manage to unlock and push the front door open, "Shit."I said as the flowers I had purchased for Malia fall out of my hands, the vase crashing on the dark mahogany staircase. I ran to the kitchen for a towel to clean up the water on the white marble floor. I bent down, wiping slowly. "Fuck" I said snapping my hand back quickly, watching the blood ooze out of my hand and pieces of broken glass sticking of out the palm of my hand. "What else could go wrong today?" I mumbled.

A strong scent of vanilla filled my senses, a scent that hasn't been in this house for quite some time. I look around the empty house. There was no one here, but the scent became stronger and stronger as I climbed the flight of stairs.

"Rachel?" I yelled down the empty hallway, my voiced echoed back at me with no one answering in the distance.

I turned the corner of the spare bedroom, and there she was. Sarah. The furry in my stomach made the heat in my face instantly at the point of boil. There she was, going to totes of things that belonged to us. Well, the us that used to be happy and in love. The us, that hasn't existed for years, the us that tore me to pieces the night I walked into a scene I hoped I would never see. "What the fuck are you doing here? How did you get in my house?" I turn around scanning the room and hallways, "Did Rachel let you in? Is Rachel here? If she didn't..."

She stood slowly, pulling a shiny silver item out of her pocket. "I have a key Justin." She slipped the silver key out of her pocket, "I used to live here, remember?"

"USED TO" I nearly screamed at her, reaching for the key and snatching it out of her hand.

"Wow. You're a little rude." She said crinkling he nose and forehead at me.

I stepped back, attempting to contain myself but I couldn't hold it in. "This is my house. I will be however I want... what the fuck are you doing here?"

"Ugh. You're such an ass." She rolled her eyes, turning away from me. "You really are."

"I'm the ass?" I walked forcefully back across the room, pounding my fist on my chest "I'm the ass... at least I'm not the whore who cheated on her boyfriend, the very night he had planned on asking her to marry him... at least I'm not that person. At least I'm not you."

"Fuck you Justin." She started slamming things back into the totes. "This is why I did what I did..." she mumbled.

"Oh blame your actions on me, how typical of you." My hands started to tremble, causing my stomach to turn into knots. "Are you going to blame me for knocking you up that night as well? Are you going to claim that I'm the father of that child you had, again?"

My words stung, it was written all over her face. Water filled up over her eyelids, "I never meant to hurt you Justin. I loved you too much to ever want to...-"

"The fuck you did." I intervened in her words, "You don't know the meaning of the word love."

She plopped her hand on her hip, changing her tone. "Just because I made a bad choice, doesn't make me a bad person."

"You're right. Your bad choices only lead to more bad choices which made you the person you are." I was going to scream. I was going to implode if she didn't get out of my view. "You need to leave."

"Justin, stop being a child." She rolled her eyes again digging through another tote. "I need to find something and then I promise I will be gone. I don't want to be here as much as you don't want me here."

"Take it. Take it all. I don't want any of it in this house anyways. That's why all of it is in those fucking containers." I snapped the lid on the one she was digging through. "Move" I demanded when she stepped in my way. I nearly hurled it down the flight of stairs and out the front door. "Take the shit. I don't want it." I walked back into the room, and took the other tote out of the room and out the front door. I wanted nothing to do with her or our past anymore. I clung onto that relationship for too long and it would be a great feeling knowing that stuff was not even in the house anymore.

She stood there in the doorway, staring at her feet. Finally breaking her silence with a grin across her face, "I sure hope that brunette coming by the house today wasn't your new girlfriend. She was cute and looked hurt when I opened that front door."

I felt my heart stop beating. The air stopped circulating through my body. My world had come to a complete roaring halt.

"I thought that's who she was." She bounced down off the front step as he headed towards her SUV. "Have a great life Justin."

I shut the door slowly, trying to replay everything back in my head. This was not how today was supposed to go. Today was supposed to be a great day. Today was supposed to be the start of the rest of my life. My body slide down the door before I crashed to the floor.

A small sheet of paper lying on the floor, under the table caught my eye. A folded up sheet of paper I knew wasn't mine. I grabbed it, unfolding it as quick as I could.

It was her handwriting staring back at me. She was here.

 "I know I break your heart... with everything I'm not... Don't ever give up, on me... Remember that were strong ... And even as we fall... Don't ever give up, on me..."

If she only knew that I would be happy with who she was, broken or not. I love everything about her and I would never give up on her.

" I know, I'm not who I was or where I need to be... But don't ever give up on me..." I pulled my phone out of my pocket. I have to fix this.

 "...If you could hold my hand... Don't ever give up, on me..." The phone began to ring, and ring some more.

My mouth felt like it was filled with cotton. She had finally given me the chance. This was her way of telling me, ‘Take my hand and never let go.'

"This is why my heart is always guarded." She began to speak quickly, but in a firm tone.  "This..." she paused, causing the silence to hurt even more. "I'm done playing whatever game you think this is. I'm done living a delusion that I let myself live in for too long." The line was silent.

"Malia, you have the wrong-"

"Justin. Just don't." her voice broke.

I could hear the pain and heartache in every word she managed to speak. I could hear her tears crashing to the floor. "Malia she is not ..." I tried to explain.

The line went dead.

Along with my heart.

My smile had turned into a frown. The best day had turned into the worst day possible. It had taken a downward spiral the moment I stepped foot into Los Angeles today. My heart filled with joy had turned into the puddle of tears that surround me.

            Within an hour I was on a private plane headed south, with Trace in tow. He knew I needed to get away. And there was one place I could go to be no one and keep myself from making even bigger mistakes if I stayed in L.A. I wanted to run to her, I wanted to make her see the truth but I knew I needed to calm down and she needed to breathe.

Drink after drink, the bottle seemed to disappear quicker than it should have. Trace had seen me at my worst more times than I can count but this time, it was worse. I had a healed heart, ready to fall in love and she had just a freshly broken down wall that has now been built back up.

Against my own judgment and statements, I sank to the one thing I was sure wouldn't disappoint me.

"She loved me Trace." I slammed the glass down into the arm of the seat, "I am an ass." I dropped my head into my lap, covering my face with my hands. "She really loved me and I crushed her."

"Give her time to cool down."

"You didn't talk to her... you didn't hear the pain in her voice."

Trace looked over at me as he has done many times, but this time his guidance was different. "She really does love you and she will let you explain. She will make this right." He stood, taking the glass out of my hand and dumping the rest of the remains out.

Trace stepped down off the plane with his phone attached to his ear. I only made out pieces of his conversation as he walked further away from me. "Hey Lynn... yea he is with me... this night isn't going to end pretty... we'll be there shortly... I got him, he will be fine..."

I stumbled down the steps behind him, throwing my arms into the air. "We're going to a bar!!"

"J- I'm taking you home to sleep this off." Trace fiddled with the keys, trying to open the doors.

"Oh hells naw you're not, I need to drink."

"Just get in the car." He pointed at the opened door.

I reached out embracing him with a hug. "I love you man."

He gripped back; embracing my vulnerability as my fingers clung to the fabric of his shirt, letting me fall to pieces on his shoulder "You know I love you... even when you're crazy drunk."

If I was lucky with anything in life, it would be the amazing parents and family that I have always had by my side, and Trace. He was the best possible friend a person could ever ask for. All of my happy moments and all of not so shining moments have been shared with him. We have both needed a shoulder at one point in time and he was simply more than I ever deserved.