The backstage area of Ellen has become clustered after walking off that stage. It seemed like everyone came out of the woodwork to be in the presence of Justin Timberlake. I, in the twenty minutes of knowing him could feel his awkwardness as he looks around the room. I could feel how uncomfortable he was with everyone staring at him, watching his every move. He is used to it but I could see that he didn't like that feeling of being watched.

                Small talk with these people wasn't normal small talk. They all wanted a piece of you. They wanted whatever they could get from you. They wanted to somehow be part of your life, for their own benefit. I didn't have time to be who they wanted me to be. Sam calls for me to come in the green room. He was a life saver. I excused myself and walked away. He wasn't just trying to save me from that crowd. He had this tense look on his face when I rounded the door and saw him standing there shaking his head in disbelief.

"Sam... is something wrong?"

He turned to look at me. "Aaron was at my office this morning... causing an enormous scene. Hilary handled it but he can't do that, I won't tolerate it."

I lowered my head. "I'll deal with it... It's been a couple rough weeks..."

"He wants your schedule reduced." He rolls up the paperwork in his hands, which was his sure sign of frustration. "Does he seriously think he has any impute on your schedule? Does he not realize that you start touring in just a few short weeks...? What is he going to do then, want a show cancelled because he was having a bad day?"

"I'm sorry Sam." I was embarrassed. "I will talk to him."

"Malia... something has to change. The press loves him. But they don't love him for the good reasons. He could potentially ruin your credibility. I warned you of him when I first signed on to be your manager."

I walked to the other side of the room and picked up the phone. I knew that this conversation wasn't going to be so great. I dialed the number slowly... hesitating between actually hitting the send button. The phone rang four times and I was sent to the voicemail. I love getting the ‘fuckoff' button pressed on me.

I dropped into the chair and dropped my head. "When did I become this person?" I mumbled to myself.

"Boyfriend drama?" He asked from behind me before walking around the room to sit next to me.

"Boyfriend drama is putting it mildly." I said lifting my head with that same giddy grin on my face, "It's like the moment I told him I decided to record this album he changed. He didn't want me to succeed. He didn't want me to outshine him." I looked up at him and was even more embarrassed. "And now that I have disclosed way too much information, I think I should go." I stood up to pack my things back into the bag.

He reached out and placed his hand on mine, I felt a wave of goose bumps like chills run up my arm, causing a flutter in my stomach.  "A lot is going to change very quickly for you. People are going to come in your life and go out just as quick as they came in. I have seen a lot in the decade I have been in this business. Take each thing as it comes."

"I'm stressed beyond belief... the last thing I need to worry about is him and his insecurities about this. I have plenty of pressure as it is, releasing an album and touring. I just hope that it goes well."

"The last thing you need to be stressing over is how well it's going to do. I don't have a doubt about its success. Now on the boyfriend end, I think sometimes relationships can't handle this industry at all. I have been through my fair share. Do what you need to do at the end of the day. If he really loves you, he will stand beside you."

"And if not?" I asked.

He picked up my phone lying on the counter, started pressing buttons then he placed the phone in my hand. "If not, then call me. I will listen to you bitch, cry, vent, scream, whatever. I know what it's like to be in your shoes."

"I bet you're so glad you met me today." I half smiled at him. "Thank you."

"No problem at all. Trust me, I pleasure was all mine."

I was comfortable in his presence. Everything about him made it so easy to be sitting in front of him and having conversations about anything, including why my manicurist would ever think to cut my toe nails that short. It was my biggest worry that everyone would see it. And I pointed it out to the biggest celebrity in the world. Silly me.

I couldn't stay here all day, like I really wanted to. I had to sit and do interviews for the next eight hours or so. I had three performances for different television appearances. Then I would have a nice early walk up call in the morning. Hoping if everything runs smoothly I will get a whopping four hours of sleep.

I turned my back towards him, packing up the things I tore out of my bag. Looking in the mirror so I could see his reaction to the question I ask. "So are you attending my album release party tomorrow?" I watch his face go from his blackberry to my ass, to my face in the mirror.

He swallows hard. "I had already planned on coming... I will get it there... I mean.. I already agreed to show up." He had dirty thoughts running through his mind. I picked up on every one of them.

I smile in the mirror at him, toss the bag over my arm, "I guess I will see you tomorrow then."

"I wouldn't miss it." He says, just seconds before he wrapped his arms around me for a warm embracing hug. His scent was overcoming. He smelled just like the cologne he promoted with a mix of laundry detergent. I was caught up in the moment and probably extended the hug longer than it should have. When I finally partied ways with him, I walked out of that room with the biggest smile on my face. He was amazing.

Six hours of talking to different people with the same questions gets annoying. After the fiftieth interview I was sure I answer some questions differently each time. I couldn't think straight anymore. My brain was fried and it was only around dinner time there was much more to do in the day, including a photo shoot and a live performance at the Grove for late night TV. Of the whole day, that is what I was excited for. I wanted my boyfriend to be there. I climbed into the back of town car that awaited me. I drop my head back on the black leather seat. A smile waved across my face when I could hear the voice of someone very familiar o the radio. It was my favorite song he had ever wrote and recorded. The live version of the song was heart wrenching and I loved it. I loved hearing his raw emotion in the song. Out of nowhere, I started singing along to the song "...Just to be around you is a blessing... Sick and tired of trying to save the world... I just wanna spend my time with you girl...  What you give me lets me know I'll be alright..." I realized where I was and that I was singing at the top of my lungs when the driver looks back at me and asks, "Friend of yours, I take it?"

"Who?" I questioned.

"Justin."
                "Oh. No not really..."

"It just seemed like... never mind, not important. We're here."

 I look down at my phone one last time, Aaron never called me back. I had been busy all day however I didn't miss a phone call from him. He just didn't call. He should be here to share this with me.

Being at the Grove was amazing. Just an intimate crowd, but that crowd knew me. They knew every word to the entire song. It was the most amazing feeling having these random people sing back the lyrics that were so personal to me. They enjoyed the song enough to listen to it, really listen to the lyrics and memorize them. They were my favorite people in the world at that moment.

From the street the condo looked dark. It was after midnight, but he wasn't here. He knew I had a five a.m. wake up call. I walk through the empty condo, a mess left in the kitchen, plates stack in the sink. The dishwasher was arm's length from the sink, but I guess that takes too much effort. The clothes he tossed off this morning, still lying on the floor where he left them. I should be upset that he isn't here. I should be hurt that he just doesn't treat me the way he used to. But a part of me just doesn't care anymore. I was however pissed that he was a grown man who couldn't pick up after himself.

I pull up my contact list running the pearl ball down the list, highlighting a name. A name I never imagine being in my contact list with an actually working number attached to it. It's crazy to think this could be reality. I was going to test reality.

I typed five or six messages, deleted each one before actually sending something. What can I say to him? Should I even send something? Against my better judgment, I type "Thank you for today ;)" and hit send before I can change my mind.

No more than thirty seconds could have gone by, before I got a response. "No, thank you. It was really great to meet you, great job on everything btw. Keep your head up! See you tomorrow!"

My giddiness of the day and the stress of everything else kept me from sleeping most of the time I did have to sleep. Waking up a few short hours later and finding the sheets still empty on the other side of the bed is never a comforting feeling. I crawled out of bed, checked my phone for a missed call, but still nothing. I attempted calling him again, but this time it didn't ring at all. It went straight to voicemail. I gave up, jumped in the shower. I look at myself in the mirror as I stepped out of the shower I noticed the dark circles under my eyes, they were a sure sign I was going to look amazing tonight.

I heard the front door close; I knew it had to be him. I ignored the idea of him. I didn't want to argue with him this morning. Today was my day. Today was a day he wasn't going to take away from me. The bathroom door opened and instead of wishing me a great day, or a simple I love you. He starts to bark at me.

"What the fuck is this?" He holds my phone up in the arm in front of my face, so close that the screen was blurry.

I pushed his hand back, "What's what?" I asked confused.

"Don't play that bullshit on me. Why is Justin fucking Timberlake texting you? Since when have you been talking to him?" he began to mock the text he sent, "‘It was really great to meet you', what the fuck is that about?"

I snatched my phone out of his hands, placing it on the counter. "What is your problem?"

"My problem is you talking to other guys?"

"Aaron, seriously... what is going on? Whatever this issue is with you, has been around longer than the fact that I met Justin yesterday."

He rolled his eyes at me, "Are you sleeping with him?"

I looked over at him slowly, "I have never cheated on anyone my entire life, and it's not going to change now. I met Justin yesterday. He wants to work together..."

He voice got louder and angrier. "Is this what you want? Do you want him now? Because he can have you..."

The knife in my heart has started to turn, forcefully and slow. "He is an amazing songwriter and producer. I'm honored that he wants to work with me. I have worked with a guy producer everyday for the last year, why is this any different."

"I just know how he is."

"You don't even know him." I slid past him through the doorway, tossing everything I needed for the day into my bag.

"I know enough about him. I know that because he is ‘Justin Timberlake' he normally gets what he wants." He removed his shirt tossing it across the room, exposing his newly un-toned chest, his tattoos that meant nothing and the scar above his belly button that he got from a knife brawl in a club in Atlanta.

 I threw my bag over my shoulder and looked up at him, "Ok, you know what... were not having this argument. Today is my day, today my album that I have worked my ass off on is releasing today. I will be gone most of the day today. You know where the party is, if you would like to show up and support your girlfriend.  But if you are going to have this attitude for the entire day, I don't want you there. If that's the option you chose, I'll see you when I get back from NYC next week."

 He stepped into the bathroom and turn on the shower, "Next week you start tour rehearsals... I won't see you then either." He slammed the bathroom door shut.

"Don't. Just don't." I stormed back across the room, opening the door to the bathroom. "Do not go to Sam's office demanding anything. The next time you step foot in that office, Sam is going to have you removed."

"Fuck Sam. He can kiss my ass."

"Aaron..." I said pissed off. "Don't be like this."

                I walked out of the condo in tears. He managed to make one of the happiest days of my life, very sad. I climbed into the driver's seat of my car, not waiting for the town car to pick me up. I needed to clear my head a little and hopefully be ready to perform with a clear head. Nothing seemed to work, I hadn't even had my coffee yet. I shouldn't be dealing with this.

                I saw a Starbucks on the corner, and I knew that I was going to be late but I really don't think they want me around them without coffee in my system. I looked around and saw that it wasn't busy, I guess why would it be at five in the morning? I grabbed the hat from the backseat of the car and pulled it down over my face. I didn't want the world to see my face like this. Crying and not getting sleep never mix well. I quickly got out of the car and rushed into the store. The smell of coffee bean awoke my senses. Just the smell of coffee made me feel better.

I stood in line patiently waiting for them to hand me my coffee, when I heard. "Well, look who seems to be following me?"

I turned quickly, I knew the voice, I knew it was him. "HEY! What are you doing up at this god awful hour?"

"I had to be on set at 5:30. But as you can see, I'm not quite awake, I need this..." he lifts his cup in the air. "Or nothing will get accomplished."

The girl slid my cup to the edge of the counter, I picked it up quickly, taking a big gulp. "Me either."

"What are you doing up this early?" he asked.

"Work. I have to be over at Good Day L.A. in about twenty minutes. It's been a hell morning and I'm ready to get this all started." I look at his cup, noticing a little note to him. "Well Mr. JT... it looks like you have an admirer..."

He turns the cup around to look at it, "Seriously... that's funny shit."

I leaned in close to him, "You should call the number, maybe it's the booty call you have been waiting your whole life for. Maybe she could rock your world."

He smiled at me, pulling me in close to him, "She only wishes I validate that booty call and rock her world..."

Bad, bad thoughts run through my head, I laugh it off with the biggest grin on my face. "Are we cocky Mr. Timberlake?"

"Naw, I just speak the truth."

"Honesty is the best policy." I winked at him, "I have to go, and they're going to have to work miracles on this face this morning..."

He took his arm and wrapped it around my back, pulling me into his chest. His smell overtook any scent I had. He leans down and whispers, "You look beautiful. See you tonight."

His grip let go of my waist, I smiled at him, nodded and walked out of that coffee shop. I got to the outside of my car and fumbled with the keys, dropping them to the ground. He had flustered me. No one has ever flustered me like that. I bent down to pick my keys, trying to compose myself. I got to my feet and I hear him hell across the parking lot, "Nice jeans!" I shake my head at him, laughing to myself. My face had to be the same shade of red as a fire truck at this moment.