Fifty eight hours... fifty seven minutes and fifty night seconds had passed with the bomb in my lap. One city to another, one hotel to another, the burden was carried with every ounce. The bitter taste in my mouth was the constant worry. It wasn't just my career I had to worry about as each of the stories start to become more and more untrue. Sam had reassured me many times that everything would turn out fine but that was before I just heard the last wave of stories.

Which is how I ended up here, with the vibrate shade of orange glowing between the towering buildings, the slight chill in the air made the hair on my arms stand straight up. It was refreshing to feel something, anything other than heartache.

Tucking my thumbs into the pockets of my jeans I step close to the rail of the empty pier looking out over the city skyline of Seattle. It was breathtaking and peaceful.

Justin.

I shook my head in disbelief. I was so mad at him. I was disappointed in him.

Someone with as much respect as that man had in this industry still had one thing against him, the tabloids. He was taking harder hits than I was in the press. He is being blamed for the affair. I understood that his name sold stories, but it couldn't take away the guilt I felt for bringing something else upon him.

Then there was Janelle. My best friend. She believed Aaron. She said there was too much evidence of the contrary to think otherwise but it didn't matter; she would stand beside me through everything... but it wasn't that easy for me to accept. She was my best friend. She should have believed me when I told her the truth or even if she didn't believe me, she is my best friend... she should have swore to whatever lie I was telling. That's what friends do for one another. Like their choices or not, you don't go against them.

I still couldn't figure out what her issue was with everything that has happened because she is the one that wanted me to leave Aaron for as long as I can remember. She thought I was with Justin from the very day I met him. I racked my brain for the reasons and the understanding but I couldn't figure it out.

My thoughts were interrupted by the soft sound of a piano playing in the back ground, the previously eerie quiet pier. I turned back and looked around, no one in sight. My crazy thoughts have boiled over. I was now hearing the sound of a piano in my head. Resting my elbows on the rail, I began to slowly massage my temples. The pounding headache was never going to go away.

I looked up at the oranges turning into yellow and they all become liquidized as the tears start to run straight down my face, crashing on my chest bone, soaking into the fabric of my shirt.

To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain... From my eyes... Tonight I wanna cry

I closed my eyes, breathing in the air, tears continuing to run free. I really messed things up.

Ring... Ring...

Swallowing the lump in my throat and reached in my pocket for the vibrating phone. It couldn't be anyone giving me good news, that wasn't going to happen in my world. I looked down at the screen and a pave a panic comes over me. Why was he calling me? Had something worse happened?

I pressed the screen, answering the phone. "Hello?"

"Malia..." his voice echoed.

I wiped the tears running from my face, "I'm here."

"Oh my god sweetie... I just heard what has been going on... are you okay? Are you crying?" He asked worried.

"I'm managing..." I said quietly. His voice, comforting as it was to hear, I didn't know what to say to him. It's not who I expected to be calling me.

Justin was with Rob, could Justin be just now finding out about the reports? Why didn't he call me? Why is Rob calling me?

"How are you holding up?" he was typical Rob, trying to comfort me.

"Rob..." my voice broke. "I didn't think I would be in this place in my life right now."

"I'm so sorry... it's the first story that is making a big mess. You will pull through it. You're strong."

It was more than a story, more than just rumors. "It's hard to go through all of this alone." The tears started to run down my face again. I had become a weak version of myself. "I'm completely alone with the worst possible thing... my own thoughts."

"Malia hun, you have me... you have Justin... you have Jane-"

I interrupted him, "Other than my parents and management, you're the first person to call me since all of this..."

"What do you mean? Where is Janelle?" He paused, "Where is Justin?" he asked.

Where is Justin?

His words flowed out and hit me worse than the bomb fully exploded. The impact was unbearable. Justin was with Rob. Justin said they were going away to record. He said they were going to a secret location... was this only a secret for me? He didn't want me to know because it's not what he was really doing... but what was he doing? Was he happier that I told him I didn't want to visit?

I hit the wood of the pier, legs collapsing beneath me. My entire body started to shake.

Lies.

"Malia, are you there?" I heard him talking. I just couldn't form words together. "MALIA." He screamed.

"He..." I covered my mouth, trying to swallow the words I was about to say.

"You're scaring the shit out of me Malia... what the hell is going on?"

"Justin said..." The quiver in my throat was preventing me from saying much... the words hurt. "Where is Justin?" I questioned out loud.

Secrets.

"He isn't with you?" Rob asked confused.

"He lied to me." I mumbled.

Secrets and lies.

I now know what empty is.

Everything seemed to revolve back around a secret. Honesty was all I ever wanted from Justin. I never really asked for much.

"I'm boarding my plane in just a few minutes... I'm going to see him. I'll get some answers."

"He said he was going to record... with you... he left days ago."

People are going to come in your life and go out just as quick as they came in.

His words ran through my head over and over again. Hurting, if possible, a little more each time the words crossed the thought process.

"None of this even sounds like the Justin I know." Even Rob didn't understand what was going on. He continued to ramble, running one sentence into another only allowing my brain to catch few words he was actually saying. "That man is falling in love with you... This whole secret location thing is something new.... what's going on with him... Did you try to call him?"

"Of course I tried to call him, the very moment I found out..." I switched into panic mode. "Rob do you don't think he would... hurt me like this do you?"

"Are you listening to anything I have to say?" he grunted, annoyed. "You think Justin would have talked to the press or even Aaron? He would never... it doesn't make sense."

"There's so much that doesn't make sense."

"I'm going to meet him right now. My flight is about six hours and the drive to the location is about an hour from the airport. I will find out what's going on. This just isn't the Justin I know."

"Location? Where are you going?" I asked confused.

"We are going to record music in some secret location. Are you listening to anything I'm saying?"

"Sorry, my thoughts are really scattered right now..." Cluttered beyond belief was more like the issue with my brain. "Six hours, from L.A.?"

"I'm at LAX right now. Headed to Honolulu."

"Hawaii?" I asked.

"Justin didn't tell you anything?" He asked, already knowing the answer. "It's the least suspected place he would go to record."

Well that's the most truth I have heard today.

"Malia, I will find out. I promise you I will find out what's going on..."

"I don't know if I want the answers." I trailed off.

I wasn't sure how much more I can handle. I knew that I was stronger on the outside than I ever was on the inside. Examples of the recent events are the reason I choose to not trust people. It seems as if the ones you trust most are the ones who hurt you the most.

Sleep had become something of a distant memory. Another long sleepless night leading to the sun rising after I did only meant my work day would start and the thoughts in my head could be pushed aside and focus on work.

My wakeup call for the day was going to come in less than forty-four minutes and I was still awake, or already awake depending on how you looked at it. I called for my car and made my way to the photoshoot of the day. Even though the album was already released and doing well, promotion couldn't stop now and hasn't. However now all the interviewers wanted to talk about was the current tabloid mess I had gotten myself into. They didn't like the answer I gave, "No Comment." But I wasn't going to fuel his fire. I wasn't going to give him that satisfaction.

With the days that have already passed, I seemed to gain a tiny piece of gratitude back. I didn't let the drama stop my work or my tour; I just let it stop my sleep. I worried about everything I shouldn't worry about. I read every single article there was about the story. I couldn't believe that in such a short time not only did I gain a bad name, but Justin, someone who this industry respected was getting most of the backlash. His PR person was going to have field day with me, when she finally laid her hands on me.

It had been hours since Rob would have landed and made it to the secret location. I have yet to hear back from him or Justin.

Quietly I sat in the backseat of the town car, questioning everything about my life for the millionth time. Why did it matter so much to me that Justin wasn't there for me? Why was such an issue? I made it clear to him that I wasn't looking for a relationship. He had no reason to check in with me... I had no claim on him.

It was the betrayal. The love I shared with a man had done the unthinkable. The friendships I thought would stand the test of times. It was a complete mess.

The car came to a stop in front of my awaiting trailer. I sat still, staring off into space.

"Ma'am, this is your stop." The driver's words were garbled in my head.

Games.

Was Rob playing along with Justin's game?

Was there something going on that I was even unaware of?