As if the pit in my stomach wasn't already deep enough, this makes everything feel empty. I knew the story was untrue. Justin knew the story was untrue, but no one else would ever know the real truth.

 "Aaron Steele's rep exclusively released a statement to E! News today, saying he is planning to take a couple weeks off to mend his broken heart and refocus back on his music. He was spotted leaving the condo that he shared with Malia, boxes in hand, looks like the fairytale is really over. His new single, ironically entitled "Broken Heart" is being world premiered today ON KissFM here in Los Angeles today..."

I watch the concrete beneath me runs beneath me, the blankness that continues mile after mile is exactly how I felt. The screen when blank as I hear the remote slam off the table in frustration, "MALIA." Sam starts to bellow across the bus. I looked up into the window and I saw a reflection of myself, but it wasn't the me I was used to seeing. Instead of looking back into my own eyes, I look at Sam's reflection in the glass, who is still rambling. "I thought you said nothing happen. I thought you said he had nothing on you?"

"You need to calm down Sam."I turned around and sat on the bench correctly, looking at him now.

"Calm down? Seriously, calm down?" his face started to get a deeper shade of red as he spoke. "Malia this could ruin your fucking career... this could destroy what we have both worked our asses off for."

Being in a confined space with someone that was pissed off, was not a good feeling, I know that feeling now. "SAM" I screamed trying to get his attention. "Listen to me. All of his allegations are untrue. There is no true to any of it. I don't know why you are so pissed off at me? I told you the truth. And it reins true today." I wasn't going to sit here and let him go on and on about this. I knew the truth.

"So you're telling me that nothing happened with him? You've spent countless days and nights together..." His eyebrows raised as his words started to take a bitter effect, "Sleeping over at each other's houses and nothing happened."

I rolled my eyes at him, "You can either choose to believe me or Aaron. That's up to you." I walk away from him and vanished to the back of the bus. I was telling the truth, at the time of the allegations I hadn't slept with him. Of course the little things that did happen never needed to be known.  

I tried to call Justin again, but there was no answer on his phone. Wherever he went, had no phone reception. It's exactly what he wanted, but I really needed to get a hold of him. I needed to know that... I needed to know that everything was ok.

Sam peeks his head into the door, "I need a statement from you for the press... this is going to get be a disaster."

"I'm not commenting." I said, and his head spun around quickly when, before he could blow up on me I explained myself, "If I make any comment, they are going to pick it to pieces. If I deny the claims then it gives him the fuel he needs for his fire. I'm not going to do that."

He rolled the papers up in his hands, over and over again. "You're telling me the truth when you say you have not slept with Justin."

I wondered my eyes away from him. "A question, worded like that... I won't comment on."

He slouched down onto the chair. "So you're telling me that... since the breakup you and Justin have been together?"

"Since my relationship with Aaron ended, Justin and I have spent some time together."

He shook his head, "That's nearly admitting the accusations."

I was irritated at this point. "Listen, my sex life is no one's business... I could take a guy back to my hotel every night while on this tour and it would be not one single persons business."

"Malia, I'm on your side." He tried to sound convincing.

"Well it doesn't sound like it." I stood up from the bed, "Justin and I... it's complicated... it is what it is but I can tell you with all the honesty we did not under any circumstances sleep together before the end of my relationship with Aaron. Take that for whatever you want, but I am done having this conversation with you."

            Just then the bus pulls up to a stop. I grabbed my bag and took off out of the doors of the bus. I shouldn't feel this alone, this heartbroken, and this... bad on the second day of touring. I should still be on the high of that one single review from this morning.

            There were herds of fans lined up around the building, waiting for me to climb off the bus. As hard as it is to face this, I had to. They had come to support me. I was going to support them. I had to make sure that I didn't fall to pieces around witnesses. Aaron didn't deserve that kind of gratification from his lies. Stepping off that last step, planting my feet on the ground, I hear their gasps and loving words over the shutter of a camera lens was worth this moment. They were going to keep me strong while in public.

The faces around me continued to stare and whisper as I walked past them through the venue. They had assumptions as everyone else did; after all they had only seen Justin as the man standing next to me. I could have very well been that person Aaron was claiming I was.

It would be hours before the events of the night would be over and I would have to walk on that stage tonight as Malia, the performer. Not the shattered, emotionally broke down, blank slate of a person I had become in just a few hours.

            I wanted to be alone, but I didn't want to be alone. I wanted space, but I didn't want space. I didn't have a choice, so it made it a little easier. Sam barges through the door then stands quietly before finally speaking. "I'm sorry. I'm just worry for your career. I want this to not affect you at all. I'm trying to help you out."

Irony. Those must be the words of wisdom for the day.

"I need you to trust me. I need you to believe me." I nearly was pounding my fingers off my chest, trying to get my point across.  "Obviously there isn't much we can do now except let the drama unfold, without fueling his fire."

He looks down at his phone, walks across the room turning on the stereo. "Well it looks like we are going to get a preview of what this drama can entitle for us."

KissFM this is Frankie V on da raaadio...

I rolled my eyes, was this guy always pretending to be someone he wasn't. His voice came across fake and his attitude was the white boy trying to be gansta. The room slowly started to fill up of executives, my band, and stage crew.

We got the Exclusive World Premiere of dat Aaron Steele track we have been talking about all day.

The disc jockey's voice echoes loudly as Sam turns it up louder.

 I heard the song and I gotta say when I met Malia last month I never expected this of her. She didn't seem like that kind da person...

He just earned himself a couple bonus points. Even with his ridiculous words.

But I guess ya nevea really know. People can surprise ya.

And he just lost them. I held in the nausea and listened as the music started to play. As a producer, I noticed all the small things that needed changed, including his vocals. He didn't have the voice to be attempting to sing what he is. The room was full of people who stood silently listening as contently as I was listening to the lyrics.

"I used to be that guy for you... I used to be the love you needed... I used to hold your heart...

Now all you see is flashes of the cameras, money in the bank, designer dresses, and his superstar status"

The tiny, shattered pieces of my heart broke even further. He knew me. He knew that the last thing I ever wanted in life was ‘things'. I wouldn't have stayed with him as long as I did if all I wanted was money or fame. He brought me neither.

            His voice screechingly came up to the chorus, giving it all he had.

"Watching you in the arms of that Tennessee man

My worst fear came true

He always gets what he wants...

And my broken heart will never mend"

I dropped my head. He had called out Justin in the song. He was going to take a hit for it, and he didn't need to. This was my fault.

When the song finally ended the room stood remaining silent. They were waiting for my reaction. I didn't really have one. There wasn't much to comment on. Considering he flipped it, blaming me for the entire breakup. I chuckled, "I'm glad my money paid for that..."

The entire song was full of lies. As a song itself, the lyrics could have some standing point and were not horrible, which I expected but as a song about our relationship and how it ended, it stood no ground. "Well..." I said turning to look at everyone that had been staring at the back of my head. "Sometimes people can't take responsibilities for their own actions. This would be an example of that."

No one said anything nor did they ask me any questions. They would stop and stare, continuing on their way. It was out of the ordinary. No one on this tour was that reserved.

Everything felt as if it echoed around me.

I found a comfort in being in the room of fans... and later on that stage. Forgetting everything for a moment of time and enjoy music the way it should be enjoyed. Every word. Every emotion. A raw performance is exactly what that crowd received.

I never mentioned the scandal, his song, or him. He didn't deserve any mentioning of his name or lies in my show, to my fans. I didn't allow his actions to take away from my performance. I wasn't sure where the strength came from but it was there.

            I climbed on the bus after the show all smiles in front of the fans and the awaiting paparazzi, to only find myself in the back bedroom, sobbing into my hands.

Had I become someone I didn't know anymore? Had I really changed that much? Was I the one who destroyed the love we shared? Were the years I spent loving that man, worth nothing in the end, other than a foot back in the door of his so called career?

The clock on the wall ticked. And ticked. And ticked.

It was the middle of the night when blurriness surrounded me in this dark, empty hotel room. I placed the once again empty glass on the table as I fumbled for my bag on the bed. I watched as my hand slide out of the handle and it hit the floor, listening as the echo continued, making the silence defining around me. Pictures scattered across the floor out of my bag, all that's left of the way it was and the way it could have been surround me. Aaron's face staring back at me from the glossy sheet of paper was a knife turning in a constant movement. I wasn't sure how that picture made its way into the Pile of pictures that made me happy but there it was, lying next to a picture of the Tennessee man who was choosing to not speak to me.

Had I made the wrong choice? Had I chose the let go of the man I thought I loved for the possibility of find a love that didn't exist? Had I given up on my relationship with Aaron, with hopes that I could be with Justin? Did I push Aaron to make the choices he did? Did I create my own drama?

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight. Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time. Maybe it can stop a broken heart that's still beating. But I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts. I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out.

The doubts start to flutter through my thought process as I lay my head down on the cold pillow, curling up into a ball. The empty pit in my stomach was starting to think the worst of all options.