Chapter 8- Separation

how can i bear this any longer
arms stretched out only to hold separation
take me away
I’m dying inside, emptied before you
take me into your arms
i will fight until the day when i will see
sight given to these blind eyes
when will i be taken from this life
take what is yours
you deserve more than my life- As I Lay Dying

            Through a small crack of the door in which his cell was, Justin was able to see out a small window. Moments like that were what kept him from strangling himself with the bed sheets. He could fall into a daze, remembering the perfection that was his life before everything was so quickly taken away from him.

            It was unfair that he was locked away when the people who really deserved to be banished were roaming the streets. Was everyone really that corrupted?

            Not everyone was. He couldn’t say that. Paige was the first person he’d met in a long time that was different. She wasn’t afraid to take a risk and actually believed in him. Justin wasn’t sure if it was all an act on her part, it could be that she wanted money out of the situation; but he desperately wanted to believe that she was good.

            She was the first genuine person he’d met in a long time. He didn’t want to change his perception of her; he just wanted her to prove to him what he had been hoping all along. Maybe it was just too much to ask in the end. That’s what happened with every relationship he was in, it ended because he wanted too much… expected too much.

            “Timberlake. What the fuck is this shit I’m hearing about your biography?”

            He knew that voice. Even when that voice was trying to be angry, it had this goofy tone to it. Justin could never take JC’s voice seriously, even when they were children. There was always something slightly nerdy about him, like when he thought it was okay to say things like “all you cats” or “hey mama how you doin.” It just didn’t work for him.

            Even so, he didn’t even need to explain more but quote the lyrics to “Space Cowboy”.

            “How about I ask what the fuck are you doing here?” Justin hadn’t been this angry in a long time, but seeing JC had triggered a series of emotions which couldn’t easily be sealed away.

            “You’re fucking snoop reporter came to my house. She’s fine as hell by the way.”

            “Stay away from her.” Justin glowered. If those bars hadn’t been separating the two men, a terrible fight would have ensued. Fists punching, tackling to the ground, improvisational weapons… the world would have definitely lost at least one great musician. Thank God for the bars.

            “She’s coming after me, man. She wants the story and maybe some other things…” JC smirked evilly as he stared at Justin. “Pagen, or whatever the fuck her name is, she’s an insanely good kisser.”

            Justin’s eyes narrowed and JC instinctively knew that he had touched on an extremely sore subject. The look in Justin’s eyes was evident when the reporter’s name was mentioned; he wanted her more than anything. This was all to easy, the cake topper of karma. Justin was in prison and now, JC would most definitely have the girl he wanted.

            “She’d never touch you.”

            “Yeah… just like Britney wouldn’t touch you.” JC rolled his eyes. “She was mine and you took her from me. An eye for an eye, Mr. JT.”

            “I never intentionally took Britney from you… shit happened JC… you know that.” Justin reasoned, slightly softening at the sound of Britney’s name. “We spent so much time together keeping up that fake relationship that it actually became real…”

            “And you knew how I felt about her, man. You knew that I was just waiting for the right time to make a move… and you fucked me over. Friends don’t pull that shit.”

            Silence was exchanged when the memory of what happened with Britney played through both of their minds. Both were so helplessly in love with the young, naïve girl, and both played a part in corrupting her and eventually driving her to madness.

            Love on both parts turned to manipulation, each running back to her with “stories” of what the other was saying or doing. Britney was pulled in two different directions, that one day, something gave and she broke. The innocent, southern girl was no more, and an oversexed, lost woman. Almost exactly like Justin and JC.

            “Should I fail to mention that she was happy with me and you had to go fuck that up by playing with her head?” Justin hissed. “Look at us all now, C? If you just would have kept out of it, me and Brit would have probably been married today. I would have been the father of her boys and you fucking ruined it.”

            Both were partially right because they each played a significant part in who Britney was today, a girl lost, with two children who needed her, but no one was there to help them. It was obvious that Britney hated both Justin and JC now and wanting nothing to do with them was putting it lightly.

            “Yeah… I’m so sure Justin. You’re a selfish fuck, and you know it. But I didn’t come here to argue… I came here to tell you that the gloves are off.”

            “Funny, I thought they were off when you framed me for murder.”

            “You have no proof of that Timberlake.” JC replied, glaring at Justin so intensely that it was obvious of the death wish he had for him. “Anyway, what kind of idiot is going to believe you? You’re already convicted for a murder in which there is proof against you. You’ve lost it all, Justin. Family, Friends, Career, Freedom, Sanity… now you’re going to accuse me of something ridiculous? In the end, you’re a miserable excuse for a human being and if you try and flap your mouth about this, it’ll back fire on you. Trust me on that.”

            Boiling with anger and an inability to do anything about it, Justin clutched onto the cell bars, wallowing in anger. He couldn’t speak and let JC know that Paige already knew the truth. He wouldn’t allow Paige to get hurt, he had to protect her. The entire reason for all of this was his own fault; he couldn’t let her become damaged. The feelings on his part were starting to become too extreme; Paige was intoxicating his thoughts, not just in a sexual sense anymore.

            “But until you crash and burn, I’ll get to know Pagen better. Hot little number… I’m this close to getting in her panties.” JC pulled his index and thumb a few centimeters apart and allowed a sly smile to creep on his face. “And now that I know your dying to… it’ll make it all the more sweeter.”

            “Stay away from, Paige… this is not a warning… it’s a promise. I’ll find my way out of here and rip you from limb to limb if you even think about touching her.” Justin’s grip tightened around the bars, his knuckles turning white from stress. His anger was evident and his resolve even more so.

            “Too late… I already hooked up with her and I know she wants more. But don’t worry man, I’ll give it to her good, the way you’ll never get to.”

            Rubbing salt into the wounds. JC was getting off on seeing Justin suffer. In JC’s mind, Justin did deserve to suffer; NSync was over because of Justin and so was his career. His mind raced with thoughts of revenge, ways to make Justin suffer for fucking up everything that was perfect to him. Britney, His career, his life… they were all destroyed.

            “I’ll kiss those perfect pink lips and ram my cock right in her-“

            That was all Justin needed to hear, his arm shot out from the bar opening, reaching out to grab JC and shut his mouth up for good. JC backed away quickly, a confident smirk residing on his face. For the first time, he had actually beaten Justin at his own game and it felt good.

            “SHUT YOUR MOUTH!”

            “Whatever Justin… you just continue to fall deeper into madness. I’ll be leaving now.” JC turned around and headed towards the exit. “Have fun rotting in jail.”

**

            Busily, Paige rummaged through her small messenger bag. She had typed up a transcript of her entire conversation with JC and it didn’t seem to add up with Justin’s story. Were the boys purposely keeping some big secret and where exactly did Lance fit into this extraordinary puzzle? This was just one big mess.

            What was even more confusing was the picture that JC had given her. A young looking Britney Spears sat in the middle of Justin and JC. It was an odd picture; both men seemed to be grasping at her, trying to snatch her away from the other. To the naked eye, it seemed like the two men were desperately trying to grapple for her attention.

            Wasn’t Justin the one that was with Britney? Not vice versa. The picture was vague, holding secrets of the past, ones that people were desperately trying to keep hidden. Growing more frustrated, Paige had no idea how to break down the barriers of silence. Why was it so difficult to get the truth out?

            “Hey Justin.” Paige called out, a smile adorning her face. As confused as she was about everything, she couldn’t allow Justin to see that.

            “Hello.” Justin replied grumpily. He hadn’t even bothered to look up at her. Usually, Justin would jump off his bed and taunt Paige with some sexual comment or tease her about something; today was different. Justin was different.

            There was an air about him today, some sort of anger which Paige had never seen before. Unsure of why exactly Justin was angry, she decided to press on the subject. What exactly could be the harm in doing that anyway?

            “What’s up with you today? Anything you want to talk about?”

            “No, but maybe there’s something you want to talk about.” Justin shot back, still continuing to stare up at the ceiling of his small cell.

            “Um… no.” Paige walked up to his cell, trying her best to get a better look at him and maybe a better look into what was going on. She couldn’t have done something to upset him; she hadn’t seen him in days. “Justin what is going on with you today?”

            “JC came to visit me. That’s all. It was very informative.”

            Questions filled the young woman’s mind. Why were these two men playing with her? Were they or weren’t they friends now? The story was growing more intricate with each interview she obtained. It was supposed to be her job to write the truth but she was getting to the point where the truth was just becoming more and more out of reach.

            Was this all being done purposely to harm her?

            “Informative?”

            “Yeah, he told me how you guys hooked up.” His blue eyes turned to meet Paige’s for the first time that late afternoon. She swallowed hard, knowing that she could be in a lot of trouble, not only with Justin, but also with her boss if this information were to get out. Losing her job was not an option; losing Justin’s trust was not either. It wasn’t only that she needed him to be cooperative, and in the back of her mind, she didn’t want him to hate her. A part of her actually felt something for him, something more than pity or attraction or fear; somewhere inside Paige, she actually liked him.

            “First of all, JC kissed me. Did he tell you that he thought I was a prostitute? I think that’s the best part of the story. What a gentleman.” Paige rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. “Might I add, it was only for a few seconds. I fought him off the entire time.”

            Stalking up from his bed, Justin walked right up to Paige, towering over her. His 6 foot 2 stature made Paige feel so tiny, standing barely at 5 foot 5; she looked up at Justin who was carefully examining her. His hand slowly made its way down her face, caressing her softly.

            “I should have known better. You wouldn’t do something like that.”

            “Um… yeah…” Paige was feeling extremely uncomfortable. His hand was on her, touching her the way a lover did.

Little by little, she was beginning to think that Justin believed her to be more than someone who was writing his biography and more than someone that he just desired sexually. Was Justin considering Paige his girlfriend or something?

Shrugging his hand away from her face, Paige began to back away from Justin slowly. This situation was too odd for her to comprehend. How was this professional relationship turning into something that was far from professional and now turning way too personal for Paige’s liking.

“Wait… where you going?” He had caught her; his hand was gripping her hip as he pulled her closer to him. Paige’s eyes widened as her body pressed against the cell. “I think if JC got a kiss… I deserve one too.”

“Justin! No! I’m engaged! Please let me go.”

“Please Paige, if your fiancé meant as much to you as you say he does, you would have never let me see your chest and you certainly would never come here with those tight little outfits. You get off on knowing that I want you.” Justin licked his lips, his other hand snaking its way up Paige’s shirt. “I’m pretty confident in saying, you want me just as bad as I want you. So why not give in?”

Paige couldn’t move, her body wouldn’t allow her. She was glued to the ground, seduced by his words. She did in fact want him, she did think about him more than she should and she hated it all.

His hand was now cupping her right breast and Justin’s lips were close to touching hers. Paige’s breath was coming out ragged because of her lust for him and most importantly her nervousness. This was wrong on so many levels. She was devoted to Ryan, she couldn’t hurt him like this.

“God… you feel so good…” Justin’s thumb was teasing her nipple, slowly working circles around it.

His eyes had been glued to his actions until finally, he moved forward slightly, moving his lips closer to Paige’s. A set of lips brushed against Paige’s, knocking her out of her daze, she couldn’t do this, as much as she wanted to, it couldn’t happen.

How could she have cheated on her fiancé with two insane men in less than a week? She had been faithful to him for years, never once before this time had she even looked at another man. Swallowing hard, Paige knew she had to be strong. Ryan loved her and these men didn’t. They just wanted to use her in the end.

“No… no!!” Paige writhed her way out of his grip and stumbled backwards. She couldn’t do this, not to Ryan and certainly not to herself. “Justin this can’t happen… in another place and time, maybe… if I was single and you were out of jail…but right now, the way things are… it can’t. It’s wrong..”

“How the fuck is it wrong?! You want me. I want you. It’s fucking simple!!”

“I’m not that kind of girl Justin! I don’t just go around having sex with people!” Paige covered her face with both her hands. She felt like she was going to break down and cry right there. How could he not understand that sex involved more than just a physical attraction, it was an emotional and mental connection to a person. If Paige were to sleep with him or let things go further than they were, she knew she’d lose it all. “You are a great guy Justin, and I really want to help you, but not like this.”

“Paige, I just want to…”

“NO! Justin just stop it!! I can’t help you if every time I come here you just start with all these sexual innuendos and now kissing and groping. You’re forcing me to find someone else to continue this biography. I really don’t want to do that Justin.”

“Don’t fucking bullshit me Paige. You come off with this mightier than thou attitude, you’re certainly not. So I did drugs, so I drank and fucked around, that doesn’t mean you’re better than me, you’re worse because you don’t give into your urges. You deny yourself happiness.” Justin continued with a smug grin. He wanted his words to pierce her, and affect her for the rest of the day. He was definitely getting his wish. “You’re going to be mine Paige, I’m going to get out of this cell and I’m going to show you things you never even imagined, take you places you’ve never dreamed and most importantly make you feel things that your moronic fiancé or JC has never and will never be able to. In time, things are going to be very different, I promise you that.”

Turning around on her heel, Paige just up and left without even getting the interview with Justin she originally came for. Justin on the other hand, sat down on his bed and hoped that his words to Paige wouldn’t have a completely negative affect.