Chapter 12- Just Gimme Some Truth

"I'm sick to death of seeing things
From tight-lipped, condescending, mamas little chauvinists
All I want is the truth
Just gimme some truth now

Ive had enough of watching scenes
Of schizophrenic, ego-centric, paranoiac, prima-donnas
All I want is the truth now
Just gimme some truth"- "just gimme some truth" by John Lennon

            The last few years had been an emotional rollercoaster for both Trace and Justin. Both were ripped from their comfortable lives and thrown into a new and horrifying world where they were perceived as dangers. It had been a long time since either man had felt any sort of happiness; but that moment changed it all. The two best friend, brothers, were together again and momentarily shoved all testosterone to the side. Neither of them cared if tears were shed or if a hugs were exchanged. All that mattered to them was the extreme joy and the hope lingering in the air.

            After Paige had left, the two friends couldn't stop speaking; both constantly interrupting the other. There was just so much to say and not enough time in the world to speak it all.

            "I can't believe it's been two fucking years since I've seen your sorry ass," Trace looked over at his friend and grinned crookedly. "I think I can see a wrinkle, man."

            "Ha, yeah, and I think I see a bald spot on you," Justin teased his friend as they sat across from each other. Aside from the obvious, it really felt like nothing had changed in his friendship with Trace. It felt like they just picked up where they left off. It was relieving nonetheless. There was no awkward silence, no pity glances, no anger. It was still them and Justin was sure it would always be that way.

            Hell, Justin knew that when they were old and grey, they'd be sitting in the nursing home together, rehashing about old times. Trace was really one of the only people he could ever trust.

            "Fuck man, don't even joke about that. You know I'm OCD about my hair."

            Obviously, the joking had to come to an end.

            "I still can't comprehend what happened," Trace looked down at the table and then back up at Justin. "I've gone over it all in my head and I can't make any sense of it."

            "And you think I can?" Justin looked down at his handcuffed wrists, feeling nothing but guilt. If it wasn't for him, Trace wouldn't have spent the last two years in a mental institution. He'd messed up the lives of so many people. He just wanted to right everything, once and for all. "I'm just hoping that Paige can help us... and until then I want you to lay low. We can't have anyone finding out that you're out of the loony bin."

            Paige. Even speaking her name aloud sent a warm, gushy feeling throughout his body. She was his savior, his friend and ultimately, one of the only people who had even bothered to listen to him. For that alone he owed her more than he could even give.

            "J, can I ask you something... honestly?"

            "Yeah, anything, man."

            Trace swallowed hard, his eyes gazing from the ground, to the table and the walls; everywhere but Justin's direction, "Do you really trust her?"

            "All she does is prove to me that she's loyal... I trust her with my life."

            "J, I get that this girl is sweet and cute and whatever; fuck, if this were a different situation, I'd tell you to smash that right quick. But the truth is... this isn't a normal situation. This chick is writing a biography on you. She has an agenda and she will sell you out as quick as she can to make a buck," The shorter southern man explained. Justin seemed unconvinced. He just laughed and waved his hand dismissively.

            "You don't know her. She wouldn't do that to me," Justin said surely, glancing down at his handcuffed wrists and then back up at his friend. "Trace, she's not like other people. She's actually listening to me instead of throwing demands my way or pacifying me. She treats me like a person..."

            Justin smiled as he described Paige. Everything he said was true. She was probably one of the only people to look beyond the money and the public persona, and see the real Justin Timberlake; the man that so few really got to know. What Justin chose to omit from the conversation was how much Paige reminded him of Britney. That was one conversation that he really wasn't ready to have.

            Trace would flip out if he knew that Justin was looking at Paige as more than just some hot girl.

            "Justin... you really don't know this girl either..."

            The incarcerated man shook his head. This conversation needed to end before it went down an unnecessary path.

            "Just drop it, okay? I don't want to argue about this shit right now."

            "You're being irrational... you know better than to open up to some media bitch."

            Justin's jaw clenched tightly, "Shut up, Trace. I'm warning you, drop it. Just let her help us and keep your opinions to yourself."

            The last thing Justin wanted to do was fight with his friend during their reunion. Paige was just a sensitive subject for him; she'd so easily claimed a spot in his heart without even trying. But Trace was also very important to him, hell, that was an understatement in itself. Trace was like a brother to Justin and fighting with him was just something he couldn't handle right now.

            In the end, all he really wanted was some support.

"You know that me shutting up is not going to happen, but I won't sit here and argue with you. Not now at least. I just want you to be careful. Watch your back. Be cautious... I mean, you of all people should know that trust is something that needs to be earned..."

            "We can trust her... I know it. My Mom is like on top of this shit too man, you know she's like a Nazi when it comes to me. She's done her homework on this girl and for her to be satisfied, we definitely should be too."

            Trace let out a heavy sigh, "I guess I need to talk to your Mom then... just to get my own piece of mind."

            "Whatever it takes man..."

            What Justin didn't realize was that Trace would take his words literally.

**

            Paige quietly sat across from JC, wondering if this lunch was a mistake. Granted, it was lunch at a well lit public place, but she couldn't help but wonder if maybe she was falling into the same exact predicament she was in with Justin. Was she getting too close to her assignments? Was there an invisible boundary that she was crossing?

            The piano music playing lightly in the background was helping to ease her. She quietly wished she'd paid attention in her college music class so she could find out which composer had written such a beautiful song. She definitely needed relaxing music in her life, especially now that she was dealing with Justin Timberlake and company.

            She held the menu, pretending to skim through the specials, when in fact she was staring at JC, studying everything about him. His designer clothes and mannerisms were all subjected to her scrutiny. To the naked eye, he seemed like the picture of elegance; the perfect gentleman with manners and class that could rival those of a Royal family. It was a complete 180 from the man she'd interviewed previously.

            In the end, it left Paige with more confusion then ever. What made someone devious? Were there any clear cut signs of this like there were in cartoons? Was she just setting herself up for disaster?

            "Did you decide what you're getting?" JC asked, still reading over his menu as if it were a NY Times best seller. Paige forced her eyes down to her menu, picking out the first item she saw.

            "I was thinking about the chicken ratatouille."

            "Hm... that's really good... the croquet monsieur is also excellent."

            The French restaurant that JC had chosen for lunch was beyond exquisite. She was expecting a trip to a diner or a café, but upon arrival at the famed Ortolan restaurant, Paige suddenly felt out of place. Everyone around her was dressed in the finest European fashions and she stuck out like a sore thumb in her plain Anne Taylor work clothes. She was surrounded by the elite, the famous and the obnoxiously rich. How could she blend in with people of that stature? She was a nobody.

            Before Paige could fret anymore the waiter came over to the table and JC exhumed charm and class.

            "Could you please start us off with a bottle of Château Trotanoy, chilled."

            "How could someone like him even fathom doing something wrong? I can't even imagine it..." Paige thought to herself. "He's so refined..." She frowned as her train of thought changed to the negative. "...but then again, so was Hannibal Lector..."

            "I'll have the Steamed Turbot and the lovely lady will have the chicken ratatouille, correct?" His blue eyes flashed to Paige's knocking her out of her thoughts.

            "Y-yes."

            JC nodded at the waiter, smiling as he handed the waiter their menus. Paige watched as JC calmly folded his hands and rested them on the table, turning his complete attention onto her.

            "You're awfully quiet for someone who is supposed to be interrogating me," JC joked with a quiet laugh. Paige smiled and glanced down at the table; her fingertips gliding across the white lace of the table cloth. It was a nervous habit of hers, but JC had yet to pick up on it.

            "I'm sorry... I was just thinking about how completely wrong first impressions can be. Please don't take offense, but when I first met you... well, you seemed like every other sleazy Hollywood male, and now it's like I'm seated across from a completely different person."

            That was putting it extremely lightly on Paige's part. She hadn't forgotten how JC had thought she was a prostitute. Hell, she couldn't even wrap her mind around how someone as wealthy and good looking as JC would even need to pay for sex. She wondered why, but she didn't really have the backbone to ask why. She wasn't as strong as she'd like to be. That would forever be her downfall.

            "Ah..." The embarrassment flushed in JC's cheeks as the realization behind Paige's words hit him. "I'm sure I owe you an explanation for that."

            "No, you really don't..."

            "It's fine," Taking a sip of his water, JC began to speak; the melancholy tone of his voice took Paige by surprise. "I guess there really is no excuse for what I'm doing. I realize it's disgusting that I'm sleeping with harlots, but I guess it's my way of coping, or rather, not coping with reality."

            Now Paige was intrigued, JC was opening up to her. Maybe this would really give her the insight into his psyche and into his current situation with Justin.

            "How so?"

            "Because I'd be moving on and then I'd have to accept that my relationship with someone would truly be over. I guess I'm holding onto hope. Silly huh?"

            "Having hope isn't silly at all..." Paige tried to remember the old NSYNC trivia that she used to be so proud of having memorized. JC hadn't had many girlfriends... there was Bobbie, Nikki, Tara... who could he mean?

            And why was he telling her any of this?

            "I'm sure you find me pathetic for living in the past," JC shrugged his shoulders and sent a tight lipped smile at the waiter, as he set down two wine glasses and the wine bottle. After the waiter left, JC continued. "I guess I want to believe that one day she'll get well and we can finally have that life we always wanted..."

            The pieces slowly began to click into place. The picture JC had given Paige was one of Justin, JC and Britney, which was awkward looking. Almost like the two men were fighting for her attention. To make matters worse, Britney had actually lost her mind over the past few years.

            He was speaking about her.

            "JC... are you talking about Britney?"

            "Smart girl."

            Britney had been the key all along. She was part of the reason for the fighting between the two friends and she was probably the only one who could give her insight into Justin and JC's lives. Paige needed to talk to her.

            "So what happened?"

            "We fell for the same girl...it's an age old story with a bitter, happy-less ending," The blue eyed man spoke so calmly but with obvious devastation behind his serene blue eyes. "We were both relentless in trying to win her affections. I won't sit here and say that I didn't push Brit too hard or didn't act with any selfish intentions. I messed up... but the nail in the coffin will always be what Justin did to her. He manipulated her and Britney could never say no... she just didn't know how to, and it got her in trouble."

            "I'm just so... confused by all of this. How did it start and how did your relationship with Britney stay a secret?"

            "There are so many little details... I think it's best if we start at the beginning..."

            There was a moment of silence as JC's shoulders slumped. The look of despair on his face was heartbreaking. It was really like speaking about the situation with Britney was painful. Paige felt for him in that moment; she reached her hand across the table and gently squeezed his hand. It was a simple gesture, but it was just her trying to say that it'd be okay.

            "There are some things, that out of respect for Britney, I'm just going to leave out... but the jist of it begins with my crush on Britney. As children on MMC, I'd never thought of Brit in that light. She was just a sweet kid to me. After MMC ended, we really didn't keep in touch... it wasn't until 5 or so years later that she opened up for NSYNC on tour. She was probably the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. I was completely flabbergasted by how much she'd changed and grown. At the same time, I knew that Britney was only 16 while I was 21 going on 22. Acting on my crush would have a lot of consequences... so I decided to keep my distance for a while and be friends... all the while, confiding in Justin and the rest of the group about how I felt. Big mistake on my part."

            Paige sighed, "It wasn't a mistake... they were your friends. You trusted them."

            "I was stupid to trust Justin specifically," JC shook his head and took a heavy gulp of his wine. Paige followed in suite; finding the wine a little strong for her, but not wanting to insult him by leaving a full glass. "The problem with Justin is that he can't stand when someone is happy. He's a jealous person and selfish person. He needs to be the best and have more than everyone else. That is what broke NSync, that's what broke Brit and that's what broke him. His fucking ego is a dangerous weapon."

            "But let me get back to the story... we all went out one night, to celebrate my birthday. I was thinking about finally coming clean with Brit... I mean, we could have snuck around for a year until she was legal. It wouldn't have been a big deal... but of course, Justin was with Britney the whole night. He claimed he was getting information for me. What a joke. He was making his own moves, getting close to her."

            "Why would he do that to you?" The brunette reporter frowned.

            "Like I said before, he's fucking selfish. He has to be number one at everything he does. Everything is a competition to Justin. It always has been and it always will be."

            The conversation was brought to an abrupt halt when the waiter came to the table and placed the two steaming plates down in front of them. With a nod and a smile, the waiter disappeared into a sea of people, leaving JC and Paige to restart their tense and awkward conversation. It was funny though; as crazy as the story was, she was still dying to hear more.

            "You were saying?" Paige stated after a moment of silence. Her eyes drilled a hole into him with urgency. JC knew that he had Paige, hook, line and sinker.

            "Oh, yes, I'm sorry. Well after my party, the rumors began about Justin and Britney having a romantic relationship," JC pursed his lips in annoyance as he reached for his fork and knife on the table. Delicately, he sliced into his dinner and began eating sensually. Paige was almost lost in delirium as she watched his perfect mouth move. Chewing each bite of food carefully. "It was unanimously decided for them by the higher powers, that they'd continue this charade for the benefit of sales. More rumors meant more publicity and more publicity meant more sales. It was a shitty deal because this kind of cock blocked me from being with Brit for the time being... but it was also a good thing because I got to see her on a pretty frequent basis. I didn't know though, that while I was getting close to Britney as friends, Justin was putting the moves on her romantically."

            Paige felt terrible for JC. He was lied to and his trust for Justin was destroyed. She silently wondered; was this enough of a motive for JC to set Justin up? Where did Lance fit into this? Hell, where exactly was Lance? Every bit of information was just making the story more vague instead of clearer.

            "So he dated her... and then tried to act like it was no big deal. It was so hard to sit back and fake a smile every time I saw them together. It made my stomach turn. I knew I'd be a better boyfriend, I knew I could make her happier... but I didn't have the opportunity to show her."

            JC stabbed at his lunch with force and Paige shifted nervously in her seat. JC obviously had some rage and unresolved issues concerning his past, but who didn't? Part of her wanted to believe that he wasn't all that bad. Hell, an even smaller but relevant part of her wanted to believe that he was telling the truth and Justin wasn't.

            Most of all, she wished that she could bury all her feeling of bias. They were just confusing her more than anything. All she wanted was the truth.

            "So you never got the chance to be with her?"

            "I did... but that comes with a twist."

            A twist? Paige couldn't fathom how another twist could even fit into this fucked up scenario.

            "Justin and Britney fought... a lot. Britney wanted more than Justin was capable of giving her but he was too selfish to let her go so she could find that. But whatever, every time Britney and J fought, I was there to comfort her and console her. I gave her confidence. I always tried to make Britney see that she was better... but she always went back to Justin. She always swallowed her pride and played the bad guy. It made me so sick to see this. To see her in pain, smiling through her tears. I got sick of it... so I made my move..."

            Paige quietly picked at her food as she listened intently. She knew there was so much that JC was leaving out. She almost wanted him to stop censoring himself. She wanted to know everything. It wasn't only because she wanted the story, it was just the fact that this was all so juicy. As horrible as it sounded, Paige was just enjoying the gossip. She was learning more about the band and about these public figures then any normal person would ever dream.

            Hell, when she was growing up, Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake were portrayed as the perfect couple. Everyone knew about Justin and Britney, hell, everyone wanted a relationship like theirs. They were perfect, they were in love...

            Or at least that's what it seemed like. Paige was learning quickly that nothing was as it seemed.

            "While she and Justin were broken up, Britney and I... we got together. It was a week of pure bliss, probably one of the happiest times of my life, you know? And then Justin snapped his fucking fingers and she came running. I didn't realize though... that Britney was scared of him," JC looked into Paige's eyes as he spoke. "He was obsessed with her... going as far as stalking her. Keeping tabs on her at all times, controlling her. It came to a point where I was literally pleading with Britney to just take off with me... but she didn't listen."

            Paige shivered at the sound of Justin's obsession, "I've heard that he has some strange habits. Hell, I've seen some strange behavior myself... but I didn't realize it was at such an intense and dangerous level."

            "Justin isn't well... and I just want you to be safe when around him. I know we don't know each other well, Paige, but I can see that you're a nice and compassionate woman. Just preys on people like you... he manipulates and lies, just so he can get anything he wants."

            Reaching across the table, JC ran his hand across Paige's. She shivered as she stared down at his fingertips, slowly massaging her hand. Part of her wanted to get the hell out of the restaurant, resign from her job and never think about any of these people again. She was completely terrified by everything she was learning about everyone; she couldn't trust a single one.

            At the same time, she felt torn. JC seemed so... normal. He wasn't trying to get into her pants the way Justin was and he had no clear cut signs of mental illness. He really seemed like a genuinely nice guy that might have gotten caught up in a mess that was bigger than him. Obviously there was a lot of proof that implicated JC... but there was much more than implicated Justin. She was finding herself wanting to trust JC more and more as time went on.

            She was falling under his spell. His intense, ice blue eyes and angelic smile sent her heart a flutter.

            She couldn't believe this was happening to her. She couldn't allow it to go any further.

            "Please Paige... I don't want you to get hurt..." Just then, JC grasped Paige's hand; pulling it towards his face, he placed an unexpected kiss on the back of her hand.

            "I um... Mr. Chasez, thank you for your time, but I really need to get going..." She pulled her hand back and stumbled out of her chair, shakily standing on her feet. Paige was grateful that she didn't tumble to the floor. Her knees had went to jell-o and she could barely support herself. "I'll be in touch..."

            "No... Paige, don't be like this..." JC motioned to the waiter for the check and stood up, his hand clasping Paige's thin arm. His hand was like fire against her skin, burning her down to her very soul. "You know today was a special day... don't run away from this, Paige..."

            "I sat and listened to you talk about your ex-girlfriend... Mr. Chasez, you are extremely mistaken if you thought this went beyond anything but a professional basis," Her voice nearly squeaked as she tried to sound confident and calm.

            "I know that isn't true... but if you insist on being so formal, I'll have to just find a way to convince you. I haven't finished telling my story and I'd like to see you again. Let's say we pick up where we left off on Friday at 9?"

            Friday at 9? Paige was sure she was hearing things. That sounded more like a date than a business meeting.... But how could she possibly say no? She needed the story... and some part of her just wanted to be close to JC. She felt ridiculous; like a child with a crush on someone unattainable.

            She was losing her mind.

            "Um... I guess..."

            "Perfect... I can pick you up from your house... what's your address?"

            "Uh... no... um how about we meet at your place instead. I mean, I already know how to get there so it'll be easy."

            "Okay, great," The waiter had made his way over to the twosome, with the bill in hand. JC handed his credit card to the waiter, not even bothering to look at the bill.  Prices just didn't seem to phase him. Paige couldn't imagine living that way. "Lunch is my treat. Dinner can be yours. See you then, gorgeous."

            Paige hurried out of that restaurant as quickly as she could. Getting home was the only option for her now. She just hoped that a day would come when a man wouldn't make her so damn nervous. In fact, all she wanted was peace. Little did she know was that it was nowhere in sight.