Chapter 10 –Run Baby Run

Life can be so cruel
Don't it astound you?
So when nothing seems too certain or safe
Let it burn through you
You can keep it pure on the inside
And you know what you believe to be right
So you're not gonna crack

            “Dad… you need to help me out.” Paige was curled up in a chair, clad in fuzzy pajama pants. It seemed almost impossible for her to relax after such a long and hectic week, let alone day.

            The stress of work and her personal life was making her down time not the least bit enjoyable. Instead she obsessed about her work and tried to push her own problems to the side. It was a defense mechanism that was quickly blowing up in her face. The Ryan situation, for example, was Paige ignoring the situation which turned into a big mess.

            Then again, Paige did these things even when she wasn’t stressed with work. She ignored her problems and emotions, putting them aside for the benefit of everyone else. It could be possible that she was purposely pushing things to the side. Trying to pretend everything was alright when inside she was screaming for some sort of change.

            Change hunted her down and forced itself upon her.

            “Paige, don’t you dare tell me you’re in jail or something.” Her father spoke in a hushed tone. Paige couldn’t help but to roll her eyes at her father’s words.

            Although the words provoked images of Paige and Justin alone in a jail cell together. She wouldn’t be able to protest or run away if she was locked in that small room. Paige would have to give into him, and she’d want to. God, she didn’t want to admit to anyone how bad she wanted him and how bad she wanted to feel those lips touching her body.

            It could never happen though. Paige knew that she would have to be insane to let someone like Justin Timberlake into her pants. Besides all of the above he was way too cocky, he didn’t deserve to get everything he wanted so badly.

            “Seriously Dad, you should know me better than that.” Paige rolled her eyes and glanced down at her nails which were in desperate need of a manicure. She had bitten them down to the point where they actually hurt her. The funny thing was that she hadn’t even realized what she was doing until it was done. “I just wanted to know if you knew of a good psychiatrist.”

            Paige’s father happened to be a plastic surgeon to the stars. He was well known in the medical field and highly respected. If there was anyone that knew a competent doctor that could evaluate Trace Ayala, it would be Paige’s father.

            “Why? Do you need to talk to someone?” Her father began what was to be a very long and heavy lecture. Richard Harper wanted the best for his daughter, but like any parent, he managed to go overboard when getting his point across. In the end, he was just worried about his only child and prying into her life just came along with that. “I called Ryan and I heard about everything that happened with you two. Paige, I really don’t think what you’re doing is the best decision, you need to talk things through instead of acting on a whim.”

            The brunette woman wanted to scream. Everyone had to put their two cent’s in on her life and she was growing tired of it. All her life she had been controlled and now when she was finally able to move forward the way she wanted, people were trying to hold her back. It wasn’t about her career anymore; it was about what Paige wanted to do in order to find some sort of happiness.

            “…You really should call him, Paige. He’s sounded like an absolute wreck.”

            Paige thought carefully before she responded to her Father. She wasn’t raised to answer back, but this situation was quite different. “Dad, does it matter to you that I wasn’t happy anymore?”

            “Of course it matters to me, baby. That’s why I’m concerned; I don’t think you’re making the right choice here.”

            “No disrespect to you, Dad, but shouldn’t I be the one to decide what’s best for me?” Paige’s response came quickly and honestly. She wasn’t a child that could be bossed around, she was an adult and she needed to be treated that way. “I haven’t been happy with him for a long time and I just needed my space. That’s perfectly understandable, isn’t it?”

            “Of course it is, I’m just concerned that you’re acting irrationally. Ryan told me that you’ve become obsessive with your writing.”

            Oh how she wished Ryan was in front of her so she could wring his neck. He had no right to assume that she was obsessed; she was just committed to doing a good job. Paige would bet money that if she was male and this committed to her career, she would be praised. Why did her own gender have to be used against her in such an ignorant way?

            The bottom line was that she was sick of being controlled and told that what she was doing was wrong. Happiness is supposed to be what you want, not what people try to impose on you. Paige stood up from her seat and began to pace around the room. When she was thinking too hard she tended to mentally and physically tire herself out.

            “So what I’m spending time doing work that I love? What if Mom would have told you that spending so much time working at the hospital was obsessive?” Paige said defensively. “I think I’m old enough to make my own decisions in what is good for my life, and if you can’t handle that, I’m very sorry. It might even be best if we don’t speak anymore.”

            Paige was responded with silence. She rolled her eyes at the assumptions her father was making. Could he be any more ridiculous? Maybe Paige was being ridiculous as well, but he had no right to try and force her into something she didn’t want. Now was the time for her to grow a back bone.

            “Paige, sweetie, I’m not trying to control you. I’m just looking out for you. Live your life whatever way you want but don’t live it knowing you could have regrets later on.” Richard Harper spoke in a comforting tone; Paige couldn’t help but to notice how much it sounded like he was speaking to a child. She loved her father, but certain things were intolerable. Blatant sexism angered her to no end.

            “I think I’d have regrets if I continued with something that made me unhappy.” She shot back quickly, gripping the cell phone tightly in her tiny hand. “I’m old enough to make my own decisions, so just stay out of my life.”

            “I’m your father I can’t stay out of your life. If you feel it necessary to block me out, then fine. It just proves how childish you actually are.”

            Stopping dead in her tracks, a sense of shock washed over her. He’d called her childish? Well then what did that make him? Someone who was living in the 1920s?  It was so difficult for her to hold her tongue when she wanted to rant and rave at her Father’s words. Still, she was raised to have respect, so Paige was forced to keep quite once again.

            She hated every moment of this.

            “Dad, I called to ask you about the name of a psychiatrist. I need it for something with my work. It has absolutely nothing to do with my personal life. Now are you going to help me or am I going to have to hang up to avoid wasting my cell phone minutes?”

            “Fine, if you want to shut your fiancé out, go right ahead. Does hearing that make you happy?” He responded to his daughter coldly. Paige just said nothing to show how serious she was about severing ties. “So you need a psychiatrist for that Timber fellow?”

            “It has something to do with that but I can’t give much detail. I’m just asking for trust. Can you do that for me?”

            Richard answered her question almost immediately. “Yes, I can.”

            “Good… email me the information about the doctor. This really does mean a lot to me.”

            Paige ended the call with an exchange of “I love you’s” and a stern warning to be careful. Paige inwardly prayed that this would be the beginning of many changes for her. Maybe now she would finally be able to live her life the way she’d always dreamed. But when are our dreams anything like reality?

**

            Paige nervously waited as Trace’s psychological evaluation was being completed by Dr. Michael Bennington. The doctor was slightly arrogant, not liking the idea of evaluating a person involved in such a high profile legal battle. Paige didn’t completely blame him for being weary, she herself was still nervous about the idea of dealing with men who could do horrible things to her.

            It was funny how they actually did torture her, Justin more specifically. He was constantly in her thoughts, whether it was trying to figure him out or working on something that involved him. He haunted her.

            “Miss Harper?”

            Paige looked up and locked gazes with Dr. Bennington. “Yes, Doctor? Is the examination completed already?”

This was the make or break point in the case. This was the fork in the road that would tell her if Justin was lying or not. Crossing her fingers at her sides, Paige stared at the doctor with mute fascination. Her stomach was turning with anxiousness; she tried to ignore the feeling but it only made her curiosity grow.

Why the hell did she have to root for Justin? Why couldn’t she be bias to the situation? Paige would have ripped out her hair, strand by strand, instead of having to feel so much. Emotions were way too complicated for her liking.

“Yes it is. Mr. Ayala seems to have some underlying issues, most I think stem from his perception of himself. He has extremely poor self esteem to put it mildly.” The Psychologist spoke calmly. Paige just wished he would get to the point already. “I don’t believe he is a danger to himself or anyone around him. Aside from being vulgar, he seems perfectly capable to live in the world on his own accord.”

“So you think he should be released from this facility?” A smile played on Paige’s lips. This was her first step in triumph. With Trace being released, he could finally give the evidence she needed in releasing Justin.

Her career was going to skyrocket from here. It was going to be absolutely perfect from here on.

“Yes, as soon as possible.”

She turned her eyes away from the Doctor and ultimately towards the window of the room Trace was being held in. The man sat sadly at a table, unsure if he’d ever see the outside world again. Paige was about to give him that freedom.

Would Justin thank her for this? Would he put her up on a higher pedestal? She wanted that so badly, but it was so confusing. He was a sex crazed idiot but still she desired him. Justin was perfect to her and it literally drove her crazy. Having thoughts about someone so arrogant was making her wish she didn’t even have these thoughts. Maybe crazy thoughts are necessary. Important to have because they truly depict who we are. No facades, just the purest thoughts that we hide from the world.

Being so completely stripped down made her feel vulnerable. When dealing with someone like Justin, it was completely ideal for a person to try and now feel anything involving fuzzy feelings. The biggest mistake she could have made was letting Justin get under her skin.

“Great… I’ll go about preparing the paper work and his flight back to Los Angeles. Thank you again Doctor.” Paige shook her Dr. Bennington’s hand with a bright smile. She’d actually done something right, her boss Mr. Katz was going to have to kiss her feet for this.

“No problem, Paige sweetie. You’re father is a great friend and colleague of mine. Helping him out is an honor.” The Doctor said in a careful tone, she knew at that moment that her had opened his mouth about her supposed “problems”. “He loves you very much.”

“I know.” Paige smiled sadly. This wasn’t a conversation she wanted to be having, especially with a total stranger. “Thanks again for everything. I need to be going.”

A quick handshake led to Paige exiting the room quickly. Once again, she ran from her problems instead of confronting them head on. Maybe she was the one with the problem.