I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you 

“Here’s the deal everyone, you don’t walk away from the group and you let someone know where you’re going. Got it?” Mike, *NSYNC’s head security, announced from the front of the tour bus as they sat outside the fair grounds. 

“Should we all hold hands, too?” Chris quipped. 

“Yes, and let me write your name on your underwear too,” Mike retorted, mockingly glaring at him. Chris smiled innocently, successfully irritating Mike before stepping foot out of the bus. The five bodyguards exited the bus before signaling for the group of eight to exit. Joey and Chris led the way, with JC signaling for Tara, Ally, and Mark to go before him. Ana stood to follow them out, but JC cut her off. She stumbled a bit back, but a strong arm caught her before she could fall back onto the cushioned seat. 

“Come on, Smooth,” Justin smirked, pulling her behind him. 

“Cute,” Ana deadpanned, her thoughts occupied with JC’s actions. She wasn’t a needy individual, but she was used to him taking her hand everywhere they went. He was such a caring individual, especially when they were faced with crowds. Following Justin down the bus’s steps, she looked back to see Lance pulled up the rear. 

“Ooh, I see rides and rides and rides,” Ana exclaimed as she looked around the grounds from behind her aviator shades. She was going to forget about JC’s weird mood, just because she might act the same way if her friends were visiting her. Well, she didn’t have many friends, but she was going to take that and run. 

“What’d you expect to see?” came the snobby question from the front of the group. Turning her head to meet the almost-orange face, Ana forced a smile on her face. 

“I was hoping for face paint and animal balloons,” she felt the bitter taste of her comment on her tongue. Typically, she wasn’t all that keen on being a bitch or snappy. But, Tara was not holding back with her dislike for Ana. 

“I’m sure you can get someone to paint you up like a clown,” Tara retorted, and Ana saw red. Taking a step forward, she felt someone pull her back. 

“Calm down, Tiger,” Justin whispered and tucked her between he and Lance. His grip wasn’t harsh, but it was tight around her shoulders. The look on her face reminded him of an animal ready to pounce. JC, clueless to that going around him, led the group with Mark further into the fair grounds. Tara walked alongside JC and Ally kept in-step with Mark. 

“What do you want to do first?” Lance looked down and asked Ana, who simply replied with a shrug of her shoulders. Her teeth were working vigorously on her bottom lip, her jaw deadlocked, and her shoulders tense. Lance looked up at Justin, helpless. 

They continued walking with the whole group, before they all decided to split in two. JC and his friends went off with Mike and Randy, while the rest of the guys and Ana took Lonnie, Big D, and Lex with them. Pretty soon, Justin had found a funnel cake stand and purchased three for all to share. 

“I haven’t indulged in this in like centuries,” Ana all-but moaned as the sugary confection entered her mouth. Her eyes slid close as she chewed and enjoyed her treat. 

“Don’t eat too much or you’ll barf,” Lex warned them all as he saw the funnel cake pretty much disappear in seconds. 

“Yes daddy…” Ana teased, seeing a frown upon his face. She giggled before rushing to his side and side-hugging him. They all sat at a bench, waiting to finish the dessert. Ana was quiet, sitting on the armrest next to Joey. She’d had her fill of the sugar for the time being, so she was looking around at the fair patrons. Her eyes fell on a small little boy pitching a fit at his pregnant mother, or so she assumed. Straining her ears, she could faintly make out the conversation. Standing, she walked over to the pair, ignoring the questioning looks from the guys. 

“Excuse me, I’m sorry to interrupt. But, I was sitting over there with my friends and I heard your conversation,” she began, placing a gentle hand on the stressed mother’s shoulder to capture her attention. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. We didn’t mean to be so loud. Do you see Jake why I tell you that screaming is not good? We’re bothering this young lady and her friends,” the mother replied before twisting it into a lesson taught to her son. Ana couldn’t help but smile, that was effective parenting.

“Well, yes, screaming isn’t really the best thing to do. But, I was actually going to offer to take him on the slide for you. I realize that you aren’t able to with your pregnancy, it’d really be no big deal,” Ana smiled down at the little boy; he couldn’t be any older than three or four. His tearful, yet now hopeful eyes looked from his mother to Ana. 

“Oh, I couldn’t ask you to do that,” his mother was surprised, and her words jumbled. 

“You’re really not asking me. I’m offering to, but it’s up to you,” she shrugged, and gave the woman time to contemplate. Ana looked up and sized up the slide; it could’ve easily been twenty or thirty feet high. The little boy had taken to jumping in place, begging his mother to allow the pretty stranger to take him on the ride. 

“Would you really not mind?” the hesitant mother asked, holding onto her son’s hand. Ana smiled and shook her head. 

“I really don’t mind. My name’s Ana, by the way,” she extended her hand and shook both their hands. The mother stooped down as much as her huge belly would allow her, and reminded her son to be on his best behavior. Finally taking hold of his hand, Ana turned towards the guys, who were all busily questioning her actions. 

“I’m gonna take him on this ride,” she shouted, pointing down to the little boy whose excitement was tattooed on his face. Nodding, the guys signaled their understanding and she was off. She helped Jake take off his shoes at the foot of the slide, and toed off her own sneakers. 

“Are you excited?” Ana asked the little boy as they approached the stairs to reach the top of the slide. 

“Yeah, it’s really big,” his large doe eyes widened as he followed the length of the slide upwards. 

“Yeah, it is. But, you’re a big boy. You can handle it, right?” she smiled, encouraging him as she saw a bit of fear in his eyes. His courage and manliness being questioned, the little boy puffed out his chest and nodded. It took all her willpower to keep Ana from laughing. She kept the dialogue going with the little boy; he was so animated. He told her of how his mommy was going to give him a little sister, and how his dad was working. About his dog, Jackson and his bunny, Nibbles. Soon, they reached the top and stood in line behind the other people waiting their turn. 

“Are you ready?” Ana excitedly shook Jake’s little hand, hoping to get him excited too. But, he didn’t need any help. He bounced in place, cheered, and pumped his little fists in the air. 

“Next!” the ride’s caretaker called, and Ana pulled Jake up with her. Taking a seat at the very top, she reached back for Jake. His eyes were wide with fear. 

“Hey, hey, don’t be scared. Nothing’s going to happen, come on. I’ll hold you tight, ok?” she soothed, her hands gently pulling him to stand in front of her. His eyes followed the slide’s descent before looking down at her. 

“Promise?” he questioned, the innocence in voice tugging at her heart. 

“I promise,” she nodded, and he lifted his arms for her to lift him. Placing him on her lap, she wrapped her arm tightly around his midsection. 

“Whenever you’re ready, just push off,” the young kid manning the ride told her. She nodded and looked down at Jake. 

“You tell me when you’re ready, Jake,” she said, and he nodded. His tiny hands gripped tightly her forearm, and she smiled. This little boy trusted her, a complete stranger, with his well-being. He trusted her to help him have a good time, and to keep him safe. And, she was not going to let him down. Ironic that she, too, had trusted someone to keep her safe. 

“Ready!” his squeal broke through her thoughts, and she laughed. Counting down, she pushed off the top of the slide, and his joyous squeal reached her ears. As they slid down the undulated slide, picking up speed, Jake’s little hands flew up in the air and his screams filled the air. 

“Again! Again!” he chanted as they slid to a stop at the very bottom, where Lex waited next to his mother. 

“No, come on, Jake, one time is enough,” his mother called, waving her hand to him. 

“But, momma that was fun! Please can I go one more time with nice lady? Please!” he begged with a pout on his face. His mother was slowly losing her reserve with him. 

“I don’t mind taking him one more time,” Ana suggested, and Jake squealed. His mother mouthed ‘thank you’ to her before the pair was racing back up the stairs towards the top. This time there was no fear in Jake, only excitement. As they stood at the top of the slide, Ana looked out at the crowd. She saw JC walk up to the boys on the bench with Tara, Mark and Ally. The guys pointed up towards the slide, and they all looked up at her. JC raised a hand in greeting before turning around and leading Tara away with a hand on her lower back. 

“It’s our turn!” Jake’s announcement interrupted her thoughts. Smiling, she led him once again to sit. And with no hesitation, he announced his readiness. Laughing, Ana pushed away from the top and they soared towards the ground below. His laughter and joy in her ear settled the ache in her chest and the worry in her stomach. She cuddled him close to her as they neared the bottom. His childish giggles got the best of him. He could barely stand right, so Ana helped him. Leading him over to their shoes, she sat on the ground with him to help him cover his little feet. 

“Thank you!” he lunged at her, catching her off-guard. His hands wrapped tightly around her neck, and she fell backwards, laughing. Hugging him close and dropping a kiss on his temple, she managed to sit back upright. His mother called him back, and he ran off towards her. 

Ana lifted a hand to wave, and watched them walk away. Sliding her sneakers back on, she stood and joined Lex. 

“That was nice of you,” Lex announced, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. 

“I’m a nice girl,” she retorted, and he snorted. Laughing, they joined the guys and moved on to the next ride. She knew the guys were looking at her with concern, but she refused to let them see her hurt. This was between her and JC, not them plus everyone else. 

“Come on, I want to puke!” Chris exclaimed, grabbing her hand pulling her ahead of the group. Laughter filled the fair grounds, and Ana felt herself filled with joy. She was with her friends, and she was going to have fun, even with a broken heart. 

#### 

“I double-dog-dare you!” Justin challenged, pointing a finger at JC. The end of the day was nearing and the entire group was gathered at the base of the Drop of Doom ride. It was basically a bungee-jump attraction. Ana was ready to go, but she wanted someone to join her. But, they’d all expressed their fear of doing it, although, some of them had skydived not almost a year ago. JC shook his head, and declined the dare. 

“I triple-dog-dare you!” Justin upped the challenge, and the group ‘ooh-ed’. 

“Oh come on, Josh, you already skydived. Just do it,” Ana pleaded, her hand on his forearm as it lay crossed at his chest. He turned his eyes to her, and she could see that he was moments from agreeing to go with her. A spark of hope ignited in her stomach. 

“How do you know its safe? Skydiving, that’s with professionals. This thing, it’s like a death sentence. How do we know the rides are safe at a county fair?” Ana rolled her eyes as Tara opened her mouth. She saw the hesitancy return to JC’s eyes, and this angered her. How was it possible that this bitch had more influence on her boyfriend? 

“Well, then you’d be dead five rides ago,” Ana snapped, tugged her sunglasses off, tossed them to Justin, and turned on her heel. 

“Where are you going?” JC questioned, his voice rising. Ana continued her saunter towards the metal basket that took the jumpers to the top. 

“I’m jumping,” Ana simply stated as she stepped up on the platform. The fair worker began to fit her with her harness, asking her to step into it and tightening it across her abdomen. 

“Ana! Get down from there! Don’t do this! Listen to me! Ana! Ana!” JC began, demanding her return and Ana tuned him out. The other guys were hollering and cheering her on, while Tara stood bored next to JC. Smirking at them, she waved as the basket began its ascent. 

“ANA! Don’t do this! Listen to me!” JC’s exclaims began to thin out the higher the basket climbed. Ana snorted at his demands, who does he think he is? 

The basket jolted to a stop, and Ana grew nervous as she looked all around her. The sun was slowly setting, basking the expansive fair grounds in its orange glow. The bright lights from the rides began to light up, one-by-one. She was eye-to-eye with the top of the large Ferris wheel that loomed a bit ways from them. The worker opened the small metal door for her to step on the edge. 

“Don’t look down or you won’t do it,” he warned as he double checked her harness and explained to her what she would do. Nodding her head, her eyes remained fixed on the large air bag below her. She could see the guys all standing below, and she could spot the blond hair glued to JC’s side. Swallowing hard, she gripped the rails beside her tightly. 

“Whenever you’re ready, let go! The hardest part is letting go, everything else is smooth sailing,” he advised, and she turned golden eyes towards him. He’d spoken the truest words, and he’d probably never know how much they’d meant to her. 

“Thank you” she smiled and turned back. Taking one deep breath, she closed her eyes and her body leaned forward. 

“ANA!” the yell from below followed her rush towards the ground, but she remained silent. Her body lurched and bounced from the stretch of the cords, but she remained silent. She’d been so emotionally charged before the jump, that once she’d jumped, she’d felt relief. She no longer had choices to make or do anything. The view from that tower had been more terrifying than the view from skydiving airplane, but she’d placed her life in the hands of thrill-seekers and trusted them to take care of her. And as she gave up all restraints on her body, and she hung limply from the cords over the air bag with the screams from the guys, she reveled in the feeling. 

Letting go at the top, unraveling of the cord, and the jerk of her harness, they’d all taught her so much. She was okay. She did the hardest part, she’d let go. Everything had unraveled and in the end, she hadn’t hit rock bottom. 

Maybe she wasn’t completely stupid. 

There's nothing else to lose
There's nothing else to find
There's nothing in the world
That can change my mind