Chapter 17

Taylor's POV

What the fuck was I thinking?  I mean, honestly, gallivanting off to California two months before the Olympics.  I clearly have lost all logical thought processes as a result of my new found friendship with Justin.  He blinks his eyes, begs me to come with, and I agree without even thinking about the possibility of getting caught.  I have lost my fucking mind.

"How the hell did he find out?" a voice breaks into my mental tirade, jarring me from the spurring thoughts flying all around at the moment.  It's the same question he's been asking since we left his house, drove to the airport, and flew back up into the clouds back to Colorado.  And the same question I have yet to figure out.

I shake my head, trying to clear my mind just to think for a second.  The roar of the plane engine isn't enough to dull the ache in my head or the thoughts running rampant in my brain.  I have no idea how Rob found out about Justin.  It just doesn't make any sense.  I left so quickly, so unpredictably, that no one could have possibly even realized I was gone.  Not to mention, no one even has a clue that Justin and I are friends. 

There's only one thing that keeps coming to mind.  There's only one way that he could possibly know that I am no longer in Colorado.

"He must have come home early," I answer, turning towards Justin.  I gently reach my arm out and steady it on his knee that has been continuously bouncing since the moment I told him we needed to head back.  "It's the only way he could possibly know I am not there."

"He's going to kill me, isn't he?"  Justin asks, the fear evident in his voice.

I crack a small smile, merely to try and placate him, but knowing that is definitely a possibility.  "He's going to kill me, Justin.  How could I be so stupid?"

Immediately the guilt is like a dead weight in the pit of my stomach.  I know better.  I have been fighting for a shot at the Olympics for my entire life and to so carelessly lose focus of that goal, even for one second, was an immature and reckless idea.  I deserve every bit of punishment coming my way.

The rest of the plane ride is made in uncomfortable silence.  Anxiety claws its way through the small cabin, holding both of us hostage. I can't seem to find the words to ease his fears or lessen the guilt riding through my veins, so I choose to say nothing at all.  Justin fidgets continuously, shifting from bouncing his legs, to wringing his hands, and clawing at his lips.  No matter what happens this was my choice, my mistake, and I will do whatever I can to ensure Justin doesn't walk away from this whole thing feeling one ounce of regret in asking me to come to California. 

If the plane ride was uncomfortable, the ride back to my cabin is almost unbearable.  My heart has gone into palpitations just thinking that Justin is about to come face-to-face with Rob, who has made it abundantly clear how disappointed he is in me, my choices, and the people I surround myself with.  He's called non-stop ever since California and the one time I answered his call I couldn't even get a word in through his lecturing.  He's been unloading on me and my voicemail for hours straight and Justin's had to listen to the whole thing.

Justin slowly pulls the SUV into my driveway, conveniently off to the side of Rob's truck, making sure both of them can leave without problems.  Together, we turn to give each other a look that is meant to be comforting, a gesture that is supposed to unite us as a team, but it only serves to amp up our nerves.

"Justin, I'm so sorry..." I manage to squeak out.  Because it's true, I am embarrassed and I am saddened that he is somehow getting wrapped up in all of this.  He came to Breckenridge for an escape, a break from reality.  I never meant to drag him into the pressure that comes with my career.

He raises his hand, gently placing a finger against my lips to stop anymore apologies.  "Don't apologize.  I asked you to California, knowing full well that you should be training and focusing on the World Cup and Olympics.  So, I am sorry that I got you in trouble."

I let out a breath of air, realizing that both of us could go back-and-forth on who is to blame for hours but all we're doing is prolonging the inevitable.  It's probably better to just get it done, like a band-aid, just get it over with. 

"We should go inside."

Justin nods his head, popping his door and stepping out.  Together we walk the short distance up to my small house and before I can even get my keys out to unlock the door, it's whipped open.

"About goddamn time, you two," Rob answers, his tone harsh but full of relief at seeing us.  "Get inside, now."

Quickly, we walk in and I realize that this is the first time Justin has ever been in my house.  What a great impression I am making.

Rob ushers us into the living room, taking a spot on the piano bench and forcing Justin and I to sit together on the loveseat, facing him.

"What the hell were you thinking, Taylor?" he asks, not even wasting one second, just picking up right where the phone calls have left off at.

"Clearly, I wasn't," I answer, knowing that getting into an arguing match with Rob will only up the punishment in training tomorrow. 

"Do you realize that you could have been photographed at any moment out there?  That one slip and this whole thing could blow up in both of our faces," he says, his words getting louder as his body keeps leaning further forward.  "To be so reckless with your career...to be so immature..."

Suddenly, another voice breaks into the whole argument.  "If I can interject..."

Rob's eyes are livid as he looks over at Justin for the first time.  "No, you can't.  Do you realize the danger you put her in by taking her out to California?  Do you realize the damage that could happen if a picture leaks of her out there?"

"I made sure she was protected."  Justin's voice is strong and steady, which surprises me based on the nerves that were just rolling off of him the entire trip back.

"You don't get it.  Taylor is not like you.  She never will be," Rob responds, his voice taking on a sense of urgency.   "You're a famous singer, Taylor is an athlete.  Your worlds are so vastly different in how they operate.  You make a mistake and what happens, a few stories end up in the tabloids, a few people believe the hype, others don't, and once the storm blows over everyone is back to kissing your ass.  If there's bad press surrounding Taylor, the sponsors pull her, which means no financial support, no top-of-the-line equipment, no promotion, and definitely no place on the U.S. Olympic team.  You have no idea what could happen as a result of this."

Justin swallows, his breathing a little quicker as the realization sinks in further.

"Rob, I was careful and Justin did protect me from the paparazzi.  No one knows I was out there."

"I don't care if he put you in an invisible ball and walked around with you that way.  It was stupid, dangerous, and careless.  Your teammates have been practicing their asses off in Vail, believing you were doing the same here."

The minute he brings my teammates into all of this, the dread settles into my stomach.

"Did you forget about the fact that you guys compete as a team?  That you are not only jeopardizing your hopes at a medal, but your teammates as well?"

"I'm sorry," I answer, because I truly am and there's nothing else I can say to make it better.

Rob exhales slowly, shaking his head.  "You should be.  I come back to your house, realize it's empty so I head up to the hill, thinking you're out practicing and can't find you anywhere.  Josh informs me that he hasn't seen you in days but knows you've been spending time with Justin and come to think of it, Justin hasn't been around either."

Justin lowers his head, a bit of embarrassment rolling off his shoulders. 

"You're lucky Josh is a friend and that it was me who figured this whole thing out and not someone else.  Honestly, Taylor, I'm so mad at you right now I don't even know what to say.  All of the work we've put in, the sacrifices could have easily been for nothing," the disappointment clear in his tone.  Turning to Justin, he unleashes a little more of his anger. "And you, I haven't even met you, but I already have a bad first impression."

Justin raises his head, looking Rob directly in the eyes.  "I'm sorry for taking Taylor to California.  If I had known exactly the repercussions-"

Rob cuts him off.  "You didn't.  And as much as I want to blame you for all of this, Taylor makes her own decisions, so I apologize for acting like a dick.  But you both need to realize her career and livelihood as an Olympic athlete is at stake here."

Justin nods his head.  "I understand."

And to my utter astonishment, they both stand and shake hands.  My mouth literally falls open at the scene happening above me.  Rob, who two seconds ago was going to rip us apart, is shaking Justin's hand, man-to-man, and letting us off the hook, just like that.

"So, that's it," I ask, standing to meet the two of them.

"For Justin, yes.  He's not my priority.  You, on the other hand, are still in for a lecture the size of Texas and one hell of a training session tomorrow morning," Rob answers, turning to shake Justin's hand one more time and heading for the door.  "Bring all of your equipment tomorrow...you're climbing the hill in full gear first thing in the morning...and that's only the beginning."

I groan but immediately snap my mouth shut when Rob looks at me.  He's merely being polite and trying to save-face by excusing himself right now while Justin's around.  The look in his eyes conveys his disappointment and his promise to unload all of his anger tomorrow.

"Justin, I'm sure I will be seeing you around, but I suggest staying out of the picture for the next couple of days while Taylor and I get back to it."

Justin nods his head in understanding.  "No problem, again, I'm sorry."

Rob gives me one less disapproving look before shutting the door and leaving the two of us in silence.  A part of me is ashamed, both because I brought Justin into this whole mess and the other because none of this would have happened if I just said no and kept my ass firmly planted in Colorado.

"Justin, I'm so-"

He cuts me off quickly.  "I can't take anymore apologies.  I think we both can agree that it was probably not the best move to take off to California together.  But I'm not going to apologize for the fact that I had a great time with you either."

I can feel the blush rushing into my cheeks and I bow my head slightly.  "I did, too.  I'm going to pay for it tomorrow but..."

Justin laughs, a small smile covering his face.   "I should probably get back to my cabin, let you get settled."

I nod my head in agreement, as much as I have enjoyed being with Justin everyday, the reality of this whole situation hangs precariously in the balance.  I have a job to do, a career to hang onto, and whole lot of people counting on me right now.  I can't allow my focus to stray, not for anything, or anyone.

Justin slowly grabs my hand and squeezes it before leaning over and gently kissing my cheek.  "Call me later," he whispers, his breath blowing across my skin.

"Yep," I manage to squeak out before he leaves the living room and walks out the door.  How he does that, I'll never know.

So much for keeping my focus.