Chapter 13

Taylor's POV

The steady pounding of my feet against the pavement is the only feeling that steadies me, levels out the emotions that are coursing through my veins and helps relieve the tension that is coiling in my limbs.  A thin sheen of sweat is covering my forehead and I continue to push forward, further and further and harder and harder.  My limbs are burning in satisfaction from the work out of the Hollywood hills and the warming sun is a welcome presence this morning. 

Rounding the corner, I return to Justin's street and for the last dash, I sprint back to his house, hoping to get one last burst from the run this morning.  Rounding the corner, I plough through the rest of the way before coming up to his side entrance and slipping back through the side gate, away from any prying eyes or camera lenses.  Jogging slowly up the stone pathway, I head into the backyard, letting my hands rest on my head.  My chest heaving with the exertion of the two hour run and I pull at my tank top, trying to cool down.

"You're up early," a voice calls out from the back screen door.

Turning around, I spot Justin leaning against the doorway, clad in a pair of loose fitting flannel pajama pants and a plain white t-shirt. 

"I told you I still had to work out even if it wasn't on the ski hills."

"I would have gone with you for a run."

I smooth my hair back in my ponytail, wiping my forehead in the process.  "Yeah, I know.  I just couldn't really sleep, so I got up and went."

"How long have you been gone?"

"I don't know...two hours maybe..."

His eyes widen before he takes a step outside, closing the sliding door behind him.  "Wow, you weren't kidding around when it comes to training."

I laugh, taking a few steps towards him.  "I'm kind of out of time to take it easy when it comes to training."

He pulls up one of the deck chairs, sitting down comfortably and enjoying the rising sun and cool morning breeze leftover from the night before.  Standing nearby, I pull one of my legs up, stretching it out before repeating the motion on the other leg. 

"So, what's on your agenda for today?" I ask, stretching out my tired muscles.

"Well, since the press seems to be prodding around, looking for me.  I am going to do a small interview with Timbs for his new album release in December."

I nod my head, switching from stretching my legs to stretching my back.  "Where's that at?"

"A radio station..."

"How are you going to be seen if you're shunned into a radio studio?"  I ask, moving to stretch out my arms now. 

Justin is eyeing me curiously, watching my movements with rapt attention before he finally answers me.  "I'll have to make one hell of an entrance there if I want to make it worth my while.  Probably go through the front door instead of the side one...that should do it."

"Sounds...interesting to say the least."

He laughs, watching as I shake my limbs out once more and walk over toward him.  "Yeah, well, the more that the press sees me in California, the less likely they are going to find me in Colorado this weekend."

"All this just to maintain some sense of privacy and security in the mountains?"

He smiles before standing up and following behind me back into the house.  "Absolutely.  I can't think of anything more important than that."

The retuning smile I give him mirrors his own bright one.  The more he alludes to the problems and lack of privacy that has driven him to Colorado, the more interested I am in his reasons behind needing that time away from the prying eyes that surround his life here.  I could understand if it was merely just for a break from reality...but it's so much more than that.  And after last night and spending time with Justin one on one, it's becoming absolutely clear that he's extremely private about it and at the same time, highly distrustful.  He's warm, funny, and charming in everyday life and that smile is enough to light up a room, but the minute that a conversation starts to turn personal or touches on his reasons for running, he clams up tighter than a crab claw.  I have never been one to pry into anyone's life because I don't want anyone doing the same thing to me, but Justin is sending so many mixed signals, I am finding it harder and harder to understand his reasons behind me being here.

One minute he's there, wanting to know more about me and my life but he's not willing to extend that same openness when it comes to his.  I have no intention of pushing him because I don't really know what Justin is to me and right now, it's too much for me to figure out.  I don't need that stress...I already have more than enough to worry about in the next two months than the superstar behind me. 

"I'm going to go get ready.  How long before you're leaving?" I ask.

"Me leaving?" he counters incredulously.

I eye him suspiciously, catching onto his game.  "Oh, no.  I am not going with you."

He puts his hand on his hip, raising his eyebrow in challenge. 

"Justin, you're going specifically with the goal in mind to have your picture taken there.  I cannot show up in the magazines....in California...with you.  Rob will literally have my head, not to mention the rest of the team would jump all over me."

"Didn't we talk about trust?"

Immediately, I start to pull my bottom lip between my teeth and I chew nervously on the tender flesh.  "Yes, but-" I begin, but am silenced with a warning look from Justin.

Softly, he takes a step toward me, raising his hand to rub against my chin, gently putting enough pressure to remove my lip from the vice of my teeth.  "Trust me," he says huskily and I can feel my stomach flop at his closeness.  Slowly, his eyes travel over my face, lingering on his fingers that are still gripping my chin. "I like your lips...don't be too hard on them," he finishes before smirking at me and walking the rest of the way down the hall.

My eyes are wide and I am stuck, standing there, my mouth hanging open, my feet feeling like they weigh a million pounds.  I am utterly floored into speechlessness by his forwardness.  I can still feel the texture of his fingers on my face and the slight burn on my skin at the loss of contact.  Shaking my head and trying to clear my thoughts, I take a tentative step back to my room. With each step that I take, the feelings that sprouted up from nowhere start to dissipate and by the time I am heading into the shower, the fog has fully left my head. 

What the hell just happened there?

My thoughts are running rampant as the water begins to descend upon me.  Quickly cleaning and washing away the grime from my work out, I dry off and finish getting ready for another fun-filled, packed day with Justin, avoiding the paparazzi.  Throwing on a pair of khaki shorts, flip flips, and a red t-shirt, I comb through my hair, letting the natural waves take over.  Glancing at myself once more in the mirror, I grab my phone before walking back into the hallway and down into the kitchen. 

Just as I round the corner, I spot Justin in a pair of khaki cargo shorts, a black polo on top, and his natural brown curls tucked underneath a William Rast logo baseball cap.  He smiles broadly as I step inside and he reaches for his keys, tossing them from one hand to the next before gesturing to the door.

"Remind me never to complain about a woman getting ready again...you're quick."

I shrug my shoulders as I walk by.  "We're just going casual, and besides, it's not my pretty face that is going to end up in the magazines..." I say, opening the door to the passenger side door of his car, "they're after yours."

Together, we head down his driveway, barely stopping at the gate and flying by the cameramen parked outside, never giving them a chance for a picture.  Justin chuckles at their flustered faces before shifting gears and speeding down the addition and out onto the main roads. 

He easily changes gears, the muscles flexing in his forearm as he applies the pressure to the shifter and the engine purrs to life.  The sights outside fly by as Justin continue to weave in and out of traffic, barely even looking around.  He appears totally in control, and I am absolutely terrified at the speed he takes the corners.

"You mind slowing it down, Andretti?"

He chuckles.  "For someone that goes fifty or sixty miles per hour on two pairs of skis with absolutely nothing to protect them other than a plastic helmet, you sure are nervous about a little speed in the car."

I grip the door handle tightly as he makes another hard right and onto the interstate, accelerating the entire time.   "Yeah, well, I am in complete control then..."

"Don't you trust me?" he says, his eyes glancing in my direction.

"In theory."

The rest of the car ride is made in compatible silence, offering a few words concerning the music on the radio or the beautiful weather outside, but other than that, Justin continues to drive like a madman while I busy with biting my tongue.  Despite the playful banter between us, he does put me on edge a little bit.  He asks me to trust him but at the same time, he holds back that same trust in me.  It'd be one thing if Justin was just simply another acquaintance but I'd by lying if I said I didn't care about him more than I probably should.  The more time I spend with him, the lighter his mood becomes and the brighter his smile gets.  To me, that speaks louder than any words or questions he can throw my way...he's having fun and letting me in the only way he knows how. 

As we come closer to the radio station, Justin takes a left turn into a parking lot, where a black SUV with windows tinted is waiting.  Justin pulls up slowly next to it and just as I am about to question what the hell is going on, Mike steps out, a small smile on his face.

Reaching for the door handle, I pull it open and step outside once Justin stops the car.

"What's going on?" I ask, shutting the door to Justin's car and spinning to catch the cocky grin on his face.

"I told you to trust me..." he begins, tapping his hand on the roof of his car.  "You're going with Mike to the station...he'll bring you in a side door, away from the cameras."

"What about you?  Don't you need Mike to be with you?"

"No, I'll be fine.  They know I'm coming so they will have some security on hand...but the whole point is to get mobbed a bit."

"That sounds horrible..." I exclaim, a hint of shock in my voice.

He merely shrugs nonchalantly.  "Won't be the first time and certainly won't be the last.  Take care of her, Mike, she's kind of important," he says, winking before getting back into his car, throwing it into gear and zipping off in the direction of the radio station. 

Turning around, I eye Mike before shrugging and getting into the SUV.  Mike's gentle stature yet intimidating size is certainly something to get used to but after the banter from the other day and the way the he genuinely cares for Justin, it's impossible not to relax beside him.  He's the gentle giant.

"Well, Ms. Jordan, I'd say you're certainly someone special in that young man's heart."

I scoff.  "I highly doubt that, Mike."

He just shakes his head as he maneuvers the SUV closer to the station and at a much more controlled speed, much to my delight.  "Don't underestimate him.  He's not very trusting when it comes to outsiders...there must be something that he relates to with you.  I haven't seen Justin...this way...in a while."

I shrug my shoulders, not really knowing how to answer because as much as I would like to think that Justin and I are forming some kind of understanding between one another, I'm not blind to the obstacles that surround us or the lack of trust that Justin is fighting for control of.

"I don't claim to be an expert when it comes to Justin.  Hell that boy gives me a headache faster than if I were to run straight into a wall.  But I will say that he doesn't go to this much trouble to protect people, if he doesn't care about them in some way."

With that bit of information, I can feel the nerves begin to pool in my stomach because I have no idea how to take that.  Those words, coming from anyone other than Mike wouldn't mean a whole heck of a lot, but Mike knows Justin better than anyone.  Hell, it's his job to know how Justin's mind thinks so that he can protect him.  But the idea that Justin Timberlake has formed any kind of attachment to me is absolutely ludicrous in nature.   After all, my life is about to become everything he seems to be running from.

Together, we slowly pull in the back entrance and the loud clatter from the paparazzi up front can be heard immediately.  Mike brings the SUV to a halt, hiding behind a couple other vehicles as big, if not bigger, than the one I am currently being housed in.

"Give me just a minute to make sure no one is lingering back here and then we can head inside."

I nod my head in understanding; the nervousness from the situation I find myself in beginning to settle in as I wait.  Mike casually walks around the building, looking past the corners before giving the car another once over and returning for me.

"All clear, you ready, Taylor?"

"Yeah, let's go," I tell him, jumping out and following closely next to him, tucked safely between the wall and Mike's large frame.  The walk inside is quick and completely undetected. 

Walking the halls, a few people acknowledge us with a hello and a small smile; even a few manage to do a double take, but for the most part we are left to ourselves in the confines of the building.  Mike leads the way, cautiously keeping one eye open while being gracious enough to grab every door that we pass through at the same time.

"He should be inside here...do you want me to come in with you?  Or did you want to go alone?" Mike asks, reaching for the door.

"Come with..." I answer, feeling a little more confident with Mike by my side.

Sneaking in quietly, I spot Justin through a glass window, Timbaland sitting next to him and both are wearing a pair of headphones secured over their ears.  Immediately, Justin looks up, a smile forming on his face as he realizes Mike and I made it in safely.

Grabbing a chair, I sit down, Mike tucking in next to me as we listen to Justin and Timbaland's interview.

"So, Timbaland, tell me what it was like having Justin help work with you on your album this time around?" the interviewer asks.

"Me and Jus...there's no team quite like us.  Deciding to do Shock Value II, there was no question that he was going to be a part of it," Timbaland answers, his rough voice carrying through the speakers.  "We vibe off each other, he keeps me on my toes, and I him."

The interviewer swivels in his chair, turning his gaze on Justin.  "So, how was it working on Timbs album?  After all, it's been a couple years since you released any new solo stuff...are you enjoying the producing side of the industry more?"

Justin nervously rubs his hands on his thighs as he compiles his answer quickly.  "Working with Timbs, it's just natural, everything we do just flows.  It's been an honor to be a part of this with him."

"Anymore solo stuff in the mix?"

"You never know, man...but right now, I am just working on other projects, producing, writing, my clothing line...they all keep me busy."

"Rumors have it that you've been spending time on the slopes as well," the interviewer asks.

Justin can't help but glance in my direction and the eyes of everyone in the room turn my way.  I can feel my face heating up immediately under their scrutiny.  "I wish I were on the hills right now, man.  But I am here in Sunny So. Cal."

"And we appreciate you stopping by, Justin."

As the DJ directs his attention back towards Timbaland, Justin flashes me a grin and a wink.  He thinks he's slick...

Please.

Mike just chuckles beside me, reaching for a magazine and pretending to read it. "Oh, yeah, there is something there on J's end..." he mutters, his words swallowed up by the noise of the pages turning. 

"What was that?"

"I said, there's something here at the end," he explains, riffling through the magazine quickly.

I eye him suspiciously.  "I bet you did, Mike."

Mike just chuckles beside me, before turning his attention back to the magazine in front of him and I let my eyes wander back to the window.  Justin is laughing, his head thrown back and a bright, wide grin on his face.  His eyes are crinkled and his whole demeanor is something that I haven't seen since I first met him on the slopes, that same care-free aura is back, if for just a moment.

"Justin, Timbaland, I want to thank you for taking time out of your day to come and speak to us."

"It's our pleasure."

"Well, before we wrap it up with these two superstars, we're going to take some calls from our listeners," the DJ explains.  "Guys, are you up for answering a few questions?"

"Sure," Timbaland responds for the two of them.

Hitting a button on the board in front of him, the DJ begins to filter in some questions for the two of them.  "All right, this one is from Melissa...go ahead, you're on with Timbaland and Justin."

Immediately, I am shocked by the squeal to her voice and I can't help but snicker when Justin rolls his eyes in my direction.  "Wow, I can't believe I got through..."

"Your question?" the DJ prompts.

"Right, yes, I was wondering if there was going to be a tour for the new album and if so, Justin, will you be on it, too?"

Timbaland easily leans into the mic to answer.  "There will be a smaller club tour and I would love it if Justin is able to be there but I don't plan on taking him away from his own obligations."

"Maybe I'll make a couple surprise appearances...it's still up in the air," Justin pipes in.

"All right, thanks for the call, Melissa.  Next, up Tiffany, you're on.  What's your question?" the DJ quickly moves it along, knowing that Timbaland and Justin have other things going on.

"I was just wondering if Justin is working on any special projects right now?"

Justin licks his lips, preparing his answer.  "Actually, I am just enjoying some downtime intertwined with work on the clothing line.  It's been a lot of meetings, so nothing too extravagant."

"Thanks, Tiffany..." the DJ says, glancing out toward us.  "Well, I am getting the signal that you guys need to get going...one last question."

"This is from Sarah...go ahead, you're live with Timbaland and Justin."

My attention is drawn, simply because it is the last caller, but the minute the voice comes over the speaker, something just doesn't sound right.  "Ahhh...yes, I was just wondering if Justin is willing to comment on all the speculation and accusations surrounding his break-up with Jessica..."

The DJ's eyes are wide the minute she finishes her question and I can't help but dart my eyes in Justin's direction as well.  His face is a mix of pain and anger in a flash of about two seconds.

"We're not here to discuss any personal lives..." the DJ quickly interjects, cutting the connection with the caller but the damage is already done and the seething look coming from Justin is enough to make me recoil myself. 

"Well, I am sorry to end the interview on that note.  However, Timbaland, Justin, I want to thank you for taking the time out to come down here today.  We wish you nothing but continued success."

"Thank you for having us," they both answer respectfully, but the tightness in Justin's jaw and his brooding eyes is a dead giveaway that he needs to get out of there and fast.

As the DJ flips on a track, they both stand, shaking the guy's hand tersely before exiting the small booth, Justin's walk a little more forced than usual.  The demeanor shift, the anger in his eyes, and clipped voice is all I need to realize that whatever trust issues Justin is holding on so tightly to is clearly coming from his latest relationship.  Whatever it was that happened is enough to set him off completely and I realize that last place I want to be is in his warpath. 

"Ummm...Mike?" I question hesitantly.

Mike looks up, letting out a sigh and nodding before standing up and following closely behind Justin as he quickly exits the room and down the hall.  I throw myself into step behind Mike, feeling extremely uncomfortable but knowing I have no other choice but to follow.

"Hey, J, man, wait up..." Mike calls out and Justin spins around.

"I need to get out here...now."

"Listen, speeding out of here like a bat out of hell isn't going to stop these allegations."

"I don't want to talk about this, Mike," Justin clips.

Mike nods his head in understanding before he turns around to speak to me.  "I'll go clear a path; make sure that it's ok for us to head out the back way.  Justin, you can meet us back at your place?"

Justin takes a step forward, determination in his stride when he comes to stand by me.  I can feel the anger radiating off of him in waves and as much as I am slightly terrified by it, I feel the protectiveness start to emerge.  Whatever it is or whoever it is that has caused this reaction in him deserves a good lashing.  He doesn't deserve this.

"Take my car, Mike.  Drive it back to my place or take it wherever.  I'm going to go out with Taylor the back way...I need to just get away for a bit."

"You sure, J?"

He looks down at me, his eyes roaming over my face.  "Yeah, just make sure we're good to go."

"All right, wait here," Mike answers, reaching for the door and slipping outside quickly.

Although I don't fully understand what happened or even the reason that Justin is so angry, I know that whatever it is...it's bad.  "Justin, maybe we should just go back to your place...you know, get away from all this," I explain, gesturing around the room with my hand.

"Taylor, to be honest, I have never wanted to just get away more in my life...and I can't think of anyone better to be with than you right now.  Please, just trust me."

I sigh, hearing those infamous words once again and knowing that I am completely powerless to resist.  "I do."

He smirks before turning his attention to the opening door, Mike motioning with his hand for us to come with.  "You're all clear.  Justin, call me later, I want to know you're ok."

"Thanks, Mike."

"Be safe.  See you around, Taylor."

"Bye Mike," I answer, hopping into the passenger side and buckling up just as Justin revs the engine, backing away and out the side entrance.

The two of us ride in silence through the roads of California, the only sound coming from the humming of the fan and slight background music from the radio.  Justin's hands are gripping the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles showing white a little more with each second that ticks by.  His breathing is heavy although it has calmed slightly the further we get away from the radio station and higher up into the hills of the mountains.  Knowing that it's neither my place to ask nor talk, I gaze out at the scenery, the trees, the flowers, everything is so different here than back home or in Colorado.  It's a nice break from the realities of my life but I know that it's not going to last and soon, I will need to buckle down again.

"You mind going for a walk?" Justin asks as he brings the car to a stop at a small opening on the side.

I shake my head no and hop out, walking around to catch up to him.  As we begin the small climb up the hill and on the trail, I can't help but wonder if Justin is hurting more than he is letting on.

"Are you ok?" I ask timidly from behind him and nearly collide into his back when he stops suddenly.

"Depends on your definition of ok..." he answers, slowing his stride to walk side-by-side with me.  "I will be ok...right now; I am just kind of decompressing a bit."

"Are you sure you don't want to be alone?"

"That's the last thing that I need," he answers, his eyes downcast on the trail in front of us.

The small trail is merely a worn walking path, a hint of sand and dust as the only real marker of the way.  "I just figured..." I begin, but he quickly interjects.

"I know you don't understand what is going on...or what that whole thing about Jessica is...or why I get so angry."

"Justin," I begin, reaching my hand out to clasp his forearm, "you don't have to explain anything to me."

He smiles at me before reaching up with his other arm, sliding my hand down to clasp gently with his own.  "As hard as it is for me to trust, Taylor, it's really hard not to be drawn to you, to want you to understand, to explain."

I swallow nervously, the feeling of his strong hand securing me in this conversation.  "I don't expect you to spill your guts and tell me your life story, Justin.  That's not why I am here and that is certainly not what I was going for when we met up on the slopes."

"I know that, Taylor.  If there's one thing that I have learned from this whole thing it's that our friendship is so different than any other relationship that I have in my life."

"Is that a good thing?" I ask, slightly worried. 

"It's the best thing," he answers gently. 

The two of us suddenly come upon an opening in the path and immediately I am hit by one of the most magnificent views I have ever seen.  The whole valley is open to this spot.  I can see the ocean straight ahead, the curves of the hills, the winding roads, and the sun casting its light on the world around us. 

"This is beautiful..." I whisper, coming to a stop near the edge, Justin sliding in beside me.  He gently gives my hand a squeeze before releasing my fingers from his grip.  I mourn the loss of his warmth but the smile on his face is enough to suffice the loss in physical contact. 

"How did you find this place?" I ask softly.

"A friend of mine actually showed me it...I come here a lot, to think.  It's secluded and far enough away that I won't be interrupted."

"It's breathtaking," I answer, looking out at the beauty ahead.  The cool breeze sifts through and I can't help but inhale at the serene scenery. 

"Thank you..." he says, a hint of reverence in his voice. 

I turn toward him, not really sure what he means. 

"For earlier...for the time in Colorado...just being there," he clarifies.  "You don't realize what you do for me by just being there..."

"I'm always around to lend a shoulder to lean on..."

He laughs lightly before looking out at the valley ahead.  The worry and stress lines that were present on his face have vanished for the most part and the longer we stand out here together in the sunlight, the calmer his whole demeanor becomes.

"I know there's a lot to my life that must have you confused..."

I turn to stop him; I really don't want an explanation that he feels he should tell rather than want to tell me himself.  "Whenever you want to tell me...I'll be here.  But until then, I'm all right knowing that you'll explain it to me when and if you're ready."

Justin's blue eyes are shining brightly and the smile that crosses his face is one of the most genuine things I have seen in a long time.  "You're incredible; you know that, right, Taylor?"

"You're just sucking up now after getting your ass handed to you on the court last night."

He chuckles loudly before spinning on his heel, reaching his hand out to grasp mine once again.  "You hungry?" he asks and I nod my head in agreement.

For now, things may be a little crazy and I don't fully understand the situation revolving around Justin, but I'm realizing quickly that's ok.  Because when it comes to friendship and trust, it's built rather than given.  And if I have to wait to earn his trust, I'll do that because that smile on his face is worth it.  He's worth it.