Justin's POV

Lucky me.

Lucky...

Is that what I am?

Is that what my life has become?  A game of luck, a game of chance, being at the right place at the right time?  A chain reaction of the ‘right' steps that have all boiled down to one thing?

Luck.

I'd like to think not...I'd like to think that I've made decisions in my life, for my career, that have all been based off of fact and truth.  I'd like to think that the success that I have achieved has been built off of something larger than chance.  That the sacrifices away from home, from family, of my privacy have been for something greater than a shuffle of the cards.  The hard work and dedication, the years of my life that I have invested in promotions, touring, and singing have all been for something bigger than a roll of the dice.  I'd like to think all of this is truth...that everything has been worth it...

But I'm not so sure anymore...

I don't know if it was ever really worth it.  I don't know if the constant scrutiny, the incessant questions, and the camera flashes that follow every step I take are worth the ability to continue doing what I'm doing.  I've spent almost my entire life behind a camera, opened wide for the world to take a look inside, to get to know ‘me' without really understanding the man behind the persona.  My life has become a character...a façade for the real me to hide behind, to maintain some kind of self-perseverance.  No one has had the chance to really know me anymore...they know JT...but they don't know Justin.  In truth, I've never allowed anyone to know ‘me' anymore.  The protective guards have been up around me for so long, pushing away anyone that gets too close, that I feel like I have started to lose touch with myself even.

Lucky me, right?

I have everything I could ever dream of at my fingertips and I'd give it all up in a heartbeat to just spend time being normal.  To walk to my car without twenty different guys blocking my path...to go to the grocery store without needing to take security...to go out on a date with a woman, knowing her name won't be slandered and drug through every single magazine before the sun even comes up the next morning.  To have a relationship that isn't built off of using the other to further a career, that isn't constantly being questioned in terms of fidelity, to look at that person and know there's no where in the world I'd rather be and have those same feelings returned without any other hidden agenda.

I've sacrificed myself in the attempt to achieve the unimaginable...and now...I don't know if it was ever really worth it.

Lucky me?

I've lost touch with myself, everything inside, everything that I ever thought I could be.  I don't know who I am...what I stand for...what really makes me happy...or what I want to do with my life.  I can continue on this path of recording, producing, and writing songs, continue with the million dollar endorsement deals and sit back and watch it all trickle in...

But I don't want to anymore.  I'm tired of standing on the side lines, losing myself with each dotted line that I sign on.  Each flick of my wrist and swipe of the pen sends another piece of my soul into the corporate world of kissing ass and smiling while doing it. 

Done.  That's what I am...I'm done.

I am done with it all.  I am packing everything up...taking a vacation...enjoying some time to myself.  I don't want to answer any questions, no more interviews or appearances or promotions.  I don't care if someone wants to work with me, do a collaboration, or use me as a producer.  None if it matters anymore.  It really doesn't...

I have sold my soul for the things that don't matter in life.

And it's finally time to take it back. 

(1 Week Later)

Justin's POV

After spending hours driving, I've finally arrived at the Chateau that will be my home for next couple of months.  I am completely tucked away, hidden into the depths of the sprawling mountains, abundant, lush pine trees, and inches upon inches of bright white snow.  It's a sanctuary, a place of peace where I can just remember what it's like to be normal.  I have found my own little piece of remembrance in the city of Breckenridge, Colorado. 

Sighing as I pull the car to a halt in the garage, I step out, feeling the brisk air wrap my body up in its clutches almost instantly.  Reaching for a couple of my bags, I throw them over my shoulder and head inside.  The cabin is decked from head to toe with dark cherry wood, large rock fireplaces, and several plush rugs designed to zap any hint of a chill that threatens to overtake the warmth of the inside.  Taking a deep breath, I let it settle in my chest, finally feeling the tightness that has been a permanent friend for years slide away.  I am finally alone, without the pressure to be anything other than myself.

Walking further inside, I head down the hallway towards the master bedroom and place my bags inside.  The large sleigh bed and large, white comforter calls towards my aching body and the fatigue of the months of holding up some type of façade slides away.

It's finally happened...

I have found a place where I can remember who I am and what it is I want from life.

A small smile tugs at the corner of my lips and I stifle the laugh that is brewing in my throat.  Turning off the light, I walk back towards the main room, exploring my new home and its comforts.  The stainless steel appliances littering the giant kitchen, the fireplaces conveniently located throughout each room and the giant one in the living room to the side of the leather couch.  As I come to stand in front of the huge bay window, my eyes immediately land on the mountain in front of me and the bright lights that shimmy up into the sky.  Their soft hues illuminate the clouds above and mark the place I plan to spend my days and nights for the next couple of months.  I want nothing more than to drown myself in the fresh powder, learning the highs and lows of the hills, and breathing in the fresh mountain air for hours, days, and weeks on end.

Checking my watch, I realize it's not too late to go enjoy a couple of night time runs.  Hustling back into the bedroom, I unzip one of my larger suitcases, reaching for my gear and throwing together a bag for the hill.  After sliding on some warmer gear, my shells, jacket, hat and goggles, I slip on some tennis shoes and head back outside towards the car.  My snowboard is already firmly in its bag in the backseat and I peel out of my sanctuary and up towards the ski hill.  

The slopes are merely five minutes from the chateau and I throw the car into a parking spot before unloading my board and bag.  Tossing one over my shoulder and the other under my arm, I head inside to get a lift ticket and finish dressing for the nighttime cold. 

"Hi," I say to the gentlemen working behind the table and slide my season pass towards him.

His eyes slightly bulge at the name and I try to implore with my eyes the need for secrecy and privacy.  Almost as quickly as his reaction appears, he wipes it from his face and meets my gaze head on.  "Evening, Mr. Timberlake.  We're very pleased to be your choice for a resort throughout this season.  How is your stay so far?"

I smile at him, feeling the relief at his politeness and discretion.  "So far so good.  Thank you."

Printing a pass and a wicket, he hands everything back to me.  "The hills are open till ten tonight.  Please let us know if there is anything we can do to make your stay anymore enjoyable."

"Thank you again.  I will definitely do that," I answer while snapping it onto my jacket and grabbing my gloves. 

"Just so you're aware as well, Mr. Timberlake, you will encompass several national races throughout the resort.  We have mapped out which days these events will take place.  With the Olympics right around the corner, we host many competitions for the qualifying skiers and snowboarders."

That is clearly something I missed in the packet.  Hmm...it should be interesting to be able to watch some of these races. 

"Really?" I ask, my eyes a little wide.

"Yes, in fact, several of the US skiers have also rented out the chateaus while they continue to train for the World Cup."

"Interesting," I answer, slapping my gloves against my leg and turning back towards the exit.  "Thank you again..."

"You're welcome, sir.  Enjoy the hills."

I nod my farewell before heading outside into the cold, crisp night air.  It's the first time in years that I have spent any time by myself, without the threat of a paparazzi attack or security surrounding my every move.  The fake story about me being holed up in Memphis for the winter has worked, drawing the cameras there and allowing me to leave LA undetected.  The entire goal of this charade is to spend time away from the spotlight and it's looking like I am going to get to do just that.

As I grab my board that I laid on the racks, I snap a boot into the bindings before pushing and riding it towards the chair lift.  Sliding my black and silver goggles over my face, I glide into the path of the oncoming chair. 

"Enjoy the hills...I hear they're extra smooth and fast tonight," the main working the lift says as he reaches to slow the chair and allow me to sit down.

"Just the way I like it..." I answer back before I am lifted from the ground, up the hill and into the night sky.

This is exactly what I need...