Chapter 8

Hope and I continued to watch the guys play. We made small talk about the weather and about some funny stuff our families did.

“My Mom takes rice and puts it in one of those big cracker bins. I think like every Hispanic person does that.” She giggled.

I smiled, thinking back to the way my mother used to make Congrese and Platanos on Sundays. I always used to hate making the salad and I’d always complain about it.

“Definitely.” I looked at Hope, deciding to ask her about her family. “So where did you live before this?”

“I lived in Brooklyn… but after I got engaged to Tommy… my family…”

“What happened?”

“My family disowned me…” Hope looked so sad and I couldn’t help but to feel terrible for her. “They didn’t want me to marry Tommy…I guess they don’t know how much I love him.”

I sighed for a moment, not wanting to make her upset, but wondering if I should speak my opinion to her. Of course it was none of my business, I mean I barely knew her to add my 2 cents, but maybe it was best.

“Sometimes love isn’t enough…” I sighed and gazed at Hope who just seemed to watch Tommy and Justin play. “Sometimes your family just wants the best for you…”

“But Tommy is the best for me…” She whispered, almost inaudibly.

“But are you actually safe with him, Hope? He doesn’t have a very safe life…”

“But he wouldn’t hurt me. Natalia, you don’t understand. I can’t walk away from him. I’ve tried.”

“Has he stopped you from leaving?” I questioned and she shook her head no.

“It’s not that he’s stopped me… it’s that I don’t want to leave him. I love him so much and I know he’s meant for me.”

“But what if you have children? You know that Tommy has enemies and they will and can come after you and hurt you and the kids.”

“I know what my risks are, Nat.” I don’t think Hope meant to be snippy but she was definitely annoyed. She knew everything but I don’t think she wanted to think about the consequences.

She was in love, and there’s in old saying that love is blind. I’m not only talking about looks, because Tommy is fucking hot and he’s definitely really great to Hope. But the truth was that he was dangerous and he was going to take her down to hell with him.

“YOU CHEATED!!” Tommy growled, pulling me out of my thoughts. I turned and saw Justin laughing while Tommy looked annoyed.

“I didn’t cheat. I’m just a better golfer than you. Now cough up the money!” Justin smirked and headed over to me. He wrapped his arm around me and gave me a soft peck on the lips.

“Eh. You fucker.”

Tommy pulled his wallet out and wrote out a check to Justin. He almost flung it at him and crossed his arms. Hope walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him.

“Don’t worry, we both know you’re a better golfer.”

Tommy smirked and kissed Hope softly.

“You see that. My woman knows I’m better than you.”

“Eh, she’s just blind because she loves you.” Justin retorted as I giggled. Tommy held up his middle finger and grabbed Hope’s hand.

“You’re an ass, Justin. But good game. You know I would have beat you if it wasn’t for that bad shot I had.”

“Fuck you man. I won and you lost. Get over it.”

Tommy and Hope started to walk away and my mind started to drift a little. What was I doing? Why was I kissing him and acting like he was my boyfriend?

Justin was a killer and a drug dealer. I couldn’t end up with someone like that. I needed to find my handsome doctor or lawyer.

I mean sure Justin had that whole sexy, rich thing going on and I mean I got along great with him. But he wasn’t the type of guy I was supposed to be with and raise children with.

This was exactly what I had just said to Hope. How could I be with someone that risked my safety? I mean sure I was having fun talking to Justin and kissing him, but after I got out of this hell, I didn’t plan on thinking of him ever again.

Maybe I was using him, but I really didn’t care. I wasn’t acting like myself anymore. It was like the real me was caged up and this emotional maniac was running my body and doing all these things I would never do.

But maybe I was reading too far between the lines. Justin was probably as lonely as I was and was maybe using me as much as I was using him. Maybe he wanted to have fun too.

God I needed to stop being so analytical.

**

“Do you wanna go eat something?” Justin asked me as the two of us walked through the gardens.

I had grown to really love the gardens. Especially at night, when it was only lit by the moon and the stars. It was just so captivatingly beautiful. Justin and I talked about life when we walked through the gardens. All the ways we’d been hurt in our lives and all the times that people actually proved that they loved us.

I saw that the both of us had very few of the love part.

Justin told me about his life and I was horrified to hear about his life. Justin had a great life up to when he was 8 years old. His mother and twin sister Jamie Samantha died in a car crash. Justin’s world was turned upside down. His father started to beat him in drunken rages, blaming all the problems on him.

He ran away when he was 15 and lived on the streets for about two years. Life wasn’t easy for him. Justin did numerous things to survive, things he wasn’t proud of. He worked numerous jobs and was barely able to make ends meet.

Eventually Justin met JC and began to sell drugs with him. At that time, Tommy’s father Joseph was the head of the crime family. Joseph became fond of Justin and JC, especially because of the loyalty they displayed. When Joseph retired, he made Justin and JC, Tommy’s 2nd in command.

The three of them became very close. But Justin never forgot the time when JC saved him from getting shot by an opposing mobster.

I couldn’t believe that as much of an asshole that JC was, that he actually did something good in his life.

I told Justin about how my father had a drinking problem and cheated on my mother. He left the house when I was 10. Since then I’ve gotten a few birthday cards from him and a handful of phone calls. But other than that, my father had nothing to do with us.

My mother struggled with two jobs, and never had time with us. My brother and I were made fun of in school for being what people called, poor. We couldn’t afford the same clothes that everyone else could, my brother got beat up everyday.

As if it wasn’t bad that we were tortured in school because we were Hispanic, now people got to say that we were the stereotypical poor Hispanics.

Our family never really bothered to help us, except our grandmother who died a few years later. The cost of the funeral took a lot out of us and my mother was forced to make my brother and I live with my Uncle Eduardo and his family for a few years.

My Mom finally married some guy and things changed. We were able to go back to the way we used to live. But things were never really the same. The family never had that closeness because my Stepfather was always there.

Sure he was a nice guy, but I just didn’t like him. He basically just ignored my brother and I, only talking to us if absolutely necessary.

What a great dad. Right?

I mean, my life wasn’t as bad as Justin’s because his was hell. But I was always the criticized child, growing up in my brother’s shadow. Nothing I could do was ever enough to establish myself as a separate person.

Enough about the past.

“I’d love to!” I exclaimed to Justin and the two of us, plus JC of course headed to Angels. This time we were in Justin’s navy blue jaguar. It was a gorgeous car and I got to sit up front with him.

The waitress Savannah was working there again and JC couldn’t take his eyes off her again.

I felt bad for Savannah for having to deal with JC. He was a scary fucker. Ick. I shuddered at the thought of having to sleep with JC. I mean he was hot but he was freaky. God knows what stuff he’d do in bed.

Whips and handcuffs. Ouch.

I’m such a horny bitch; it was fun to think about sex, especially with any one of these sexy psychos.

We sat down at the table and Savannah walked over to us with menus in hand. She placed them down in front of us and smiled.

“Hi Welcome to Angels… can I get you guys anything to drink?”

“Yeah I’ll have a vanilla coke.” Justin stated and I couldn’t help but to laugh at how similar we are.

“Ditto.”

“I’ll have a coffee…” JC said with a small smile. “And you’re number…”

“Uhm…no.” Savannah rolled her eyes and turned to me and Justin. “You’re drinks will be out in a second.”

Savannah turned and headed back to the front counter while JC stared at her.

“Do you have to come off so strongly? I mean of course she’s going to run away from you if you act like an asshole.” I said and played with the sugar packets on the table. I had developed this habit when I was younger and it was something that was just so hard to kick.

“I don’t mean to… I just want her to like me…”

“Then be less scary and demanding. Why don’t you try and ask her out somewhere? Tell her we’ll go so she won’t feel scared to be alone with you.”

“Okay…” He sighed. “But I swear if she hates me more I’m gonna make sure you never get out of your room.”

“Fuck you.” I glared at JC. Justin just rolled his eyes.

“Shut the fuck up man and go talk to her.”

JC got up and walked over to Savannah and I prayed to God that she would say yes. Maybe this would be my ticket to getting out somewhere