Chapter 1

             Awaking with a small murmur, I climbed out of bed, scratching my messy brown hair. It was a chilly January morning and I would have rather been in bed. Hell it was only 8 o’clock on Saturday morning.

              I would have been sleeping too if it wasn’t for my Uncle. I promised him I’d help him work in his Grocery Store, since his workers couldn’t come in that day. I really didn’t want to but I didn’t have any other choice. It was either that or I’d never hear the end of it from my very old fashioned Hispanic mother.

             I also was going to enjoy it because I knew my older brother, Andrew, was going to have to suffer as well. It was fun to watch him get pissed off at the stupid people who would come in and out of the store.

              I quickly brushed my teeth and washed my face in the bathroom and dressed myself in a French Connection baby tee that said ‘Fcuk Up’ in pink letters. I also put on a pink Guess velour sweat suit.  My long brown hair was parted to the side and pushed back in a ponytail.

             Makeup was a necessity but I decided not to over do it. I didn’t think I was going to see anyone but a couple of drunks anyway. I put on some smoky eye shadow that really made my blue-green eyes stand out. To top it off I added a little bit of clear gloss on my lips and headed down the stairs.

             My brother was sitting in the kitchen, gobbling down a bowl of cereal and milk. He smirked at me as I entered the kitchen.            

“Hey there, sis… Didn’t think you were gonna wake up.” He grinned at me with a mouth full of cereal. I cringed and threw the roll of paper towels at him. “HEY! MAMI!! NATALIA’S THROWING STUFF AT ME!!”  

            Yeah, my brother was supposed to be 22 but he acted like a fucking baby. I just rolled my eyes at him and grabbed the orange juice from the fridge and poured myself a glass.

             “NATALIA!!” My Mother yelled, in a heavy Spanish accent, from the next room. I rolled my eyes again. “LEAVE YOUR BROTHER ALONE!”  

            Andy just laughed at me as I threw my empty glass into the sink and leaned against the wall.

             “Are you ready to leave?”  

            “Yeah… chill out.” Andy got up and rinsed his dish out in the sink and walked to the front room in which I followed him.

              We put on our coats as our mother walked into the room, smiling.

             “Hace frio afuera mijitos! Dress warm! Y tengan cuidado.” That was just like my mother to warn us, but for some reason, the look on her face made me see that she was serious. I just nodded at her.

             “We will, Mami.” Andy leaned in and kissed our mothers cheek. I did the same and she smiled.

             “Bye Mami.”

              Andy and I walked out to his car and he drove to the store. On the way there he fiddled with his cds and I scolded him, not because he was doing anything wrong, but just because I liked to bother him. 

            “ANDY! Keep you’re eyes on the road… do you wanna get us killed or something?!”  

            “Fuck you, Nat.” He laughed and finally popped a cd into his cd player. “You’re gonna hear this song and get so upset.”

             “What song?” 

            “You’ll see…” 

            The music started and the car filed with a sound that reminded me of my childhood. It was “Hey Sandy” by Polaris, the theme song to Pete and Pete on Nickelodeon.

             I remember Andy and I used to watch that show when we were little. I even used to call him Pit Stain after one of the characters on the show to bother him. It was funny because we were even convinced that our mother had a metal plate in her head, just like the mom on the show.

             “Oh my God!” I lifted my hand to my mouth and began to giggle. “Andy you are insane.”  

            “Aww, Nat you know you miss those days. Sitting in front of the tv and chilling to Nickelodeon.”  

            “Of course I do. But only you would find that song.”

             When we arrived at the store, it looked pretty empty. I took the liberty to hang our jackets in the back while my Uncle raved on and on about how tired he was and how badly he wanted to retire. 

            I came back to the front and saw my brother had taken charge of the cash register. I pouted at him and then sighed, knowing I was stuck stocking all the shelves. I gave him the finger when my Uncle wasn’t looking and walked down to the basement to get a few cartons of Newport Lights.  

            I knew that was going to be what I was doing for the rest of the day. I was going to have to be walking up and down the stairs and probably be searching the dank basement. I cringed to myself and did what my uncle asked. There was nothing I could do about it anyway.

             Andy was the boy and the eldest so he always got what he wanted. He was the apple of the eye of every goddamn family member. He was the first grandson in the family and the smartest. He had actually just begun med school.

              Me on the other hand, I was just a 19 year old aspiring… nothing. I had no clue where I wanted to go in life. The family was always telling me to “get it together”, but I still had some time to decide what to do.

             Till I did decide, I was still going to be labeled as the fuck up of the family. I guess my shirt really did hold true to who I was.  

            After about the 6th time I ran up the stairs, I decided to take a break. There were no costumers anyway, and my Uncle didn’t seem to mind. I sat down on the counter and listened to my brother and Uncle talk away. 

            “And when are you going to find a nice girl to settle down with, Andrew?” My Uncle asked. Andy just shook his head and laughed. 

            “When I’m finished with school. What’s most important now is getting my M.D.” Andy smiled. “You know you’ll be happy when you have you’re favorite nephew as a doctor.”

             “Of course… but I don’t want you to forget about the other important things. Life isn’t all about work. You have to… como lo dices… you have to have fun.”

             “I know, Tio. I know.”

             “Y tu Natalia? Que tu quieres ser?”  

            Ugh. I knew he was going to ask me that. What do I want to be? I bit at the skin on my finger and shrugged.

             “I still don’t know, Tio.”

             “Aye mija.” He just shook his head and I rolled my eyes and hopped off the counter.   

           I didn’t want to sit around and hear how bad a person I was because I didn’t know what I wanted to do in life. Well, I shouldn’t exaggerate, they wouldn’t say I was a bad person, but they’d rush me to figure things out. But I didn’t know, maybe soon I would figure things out… but I still had 2 and a half years left of school.

             I headed down to the stock room and grabbed a box of coke cans. I heard some shouting going on upstairs and I was curious to what was happening. I walked back up the stairs and heard some unfamiliar voices talking. I placed the box down on the top of the stairs and walked back into the store. 

            My mouth dropped when I saw two men with hats on, dressed in all black and handkerchiefs that covered up to their eyes. What the fuck was this the Wild West?

             Confused, I looked at my brother and Uncle who both looked completely scared. Andy opened the cash register and mumbled to the guys. 

            “Please… take what you want… just don’t hurt us…”  

           “Just put all the fucking money in the bag!!!” One of the men screamed at my brother, holding the gun up higher and making it plain to my view.

             We were being robbed.

             My heart was pounding as I slowly walked backwards and grabbed my cell phone out of my pocket. I knew I had to call the police and save my family from these psychos. 

            I took another step backwards and the floor slipped from under my feet. I had tripped over the box of cokes and fell straight into the wall with a bang, while my cell phone slid to the other side of the room.

             I really was a moron. I mentally screamed at myself as the two men turned around a glared at me.

              “Well look what we have here.” One of the men said and advanced toward me. I scrambled to my feet, shaking with fear. “Look it’s a pretty girl… Probably a fucking virgin.” The man spat as his other friend collected all the money from my brother and then grabbed some food from the shelves. “Ya know what I do with virgins like you? I fuck them like crazy till they can’t scream anymore… I make them into my own personal whores.”

             I knew the tears were falling down my face. By this point, I didn’t care who saw that I was crying. I was ready to break down at that point. I wanted them to go away and just take what they wanted. I wanted my brother, Uncle and I to just all be okay… 

            The man ran his hand down my cheek and by instinct I moved my head away from him, and then with all the courage in my body, I spat in his face, and ran down the isle.  

            I heard my brother screaming at me and telling me to stop, but I didn’t listen and even now I regret not doing so. The other robber grabbed me and I closed my eyes in fear.

              “This is what you get, bitch!”

              Then I heard a gun shot go off and I heard something fall to the floor. My eyes fluttered open and I saw my brother, lying on the floor clutching his arm. Blood seeped out from his arm and I started to scream.

             “ANDY!!!”

              The man holding onto me looked at me, with his eyes full of compassion. I thought I was going to be sick. My brother was shot and dying on the floor because I had to try and be brave. I should have taken it. I shouldn’t have refused.  

            I thought I was going to fall to the floor, but the robber held onto me tightly. He was looking at me like he felt sorry and like he wanted to protect me… 

            Uh… maybe I was just hallucinating.  

            “COME ON MAN!! WE HAVE TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE NOW!! DROP THE WHORE AND COME ON!” The other man held the gun in his hand; he didn’t know where to point it so he kept shifting the direction of it.

              After a few seconds the man just ran out of the store, while the compassionate one stared at me and then threw me over his shoulder.   

           “NO!!!! TIO!! ANDY!” I kicked my feet as the man ran out of the store and took me from my family. I saw my Uncle tending to my brother as I was taken out of the store. I hoped to God that my brother would be all right. 

            The man reached a black van and threw my in the back. There were no windows and a dark sheet covered the section between the front and the back. I was locked in, I was trapped.

             I started to cry harder now. I cried for my brother, and cried for the fate that I was going to meet. I was so frightened. I tried to open the door of the trunk but it was locked. I was stuck in that car. 

            I heard the men get into the front and speed away. They were all arguing. Thinking about it, I heard three voices. Two were yelling at the other for taking me. They told him to throw me out of the car somewhere.

             But when they heard the cop sirens, they knew it was too risky. I was stuck with these people.  I knew I was going to die for sure.