I really need to grow a pair and just walk into his office and play this demo for him. But my feet and legs aren't working so I'm sitting in the chair of my office not moving.

  It's been two weeks of nothing but the Justin I fell for all that time ago. He brings breakfast some days, offers to pick up lunch if he's going to be in and out, just sticks his head in to say hey. Always giving me that crooked grin that I love so much.

  If his plan is to wear me down, it's working. The longer I'm away from Ethan, the harder it is to not want to be with someone else.  When Ethan left, I told myself there was no way I was going to be a willing participant in this open relationship crap. I don't think he is either. I really think he just said it to make me feel better about him leaving. We're not going to be seeing each other on a regular basis for a long time and while Skype and phone calls are awesome, it's not the same.

   I look up at the soft knock coming from my door.

  "Hey." Justin grins.

  "Hey." I can't help the butterflies in my stomach. "What's up?"

  He shrugs and sits down in the chair across from my, propping his feet up on the edge of my desk. "Nothing really. I'm having a BBQ this weekend and thought you might like to come."

  "Yea, I'll be there."

  "Bring Lori."

  I nod. I don't know what to say to him. These things I'm feeling have really got me all messed up. I never had a problem talking to him befor and now every time he comes around I turn into mute girl.

  "You had lunch yet?" He asks.

  "No, I was gonna go get something here shortly."

  "You wanna go together?" He asks. "We'll go where ever you want."

  I bite my bottom lip. I do want to go, see if I'm just crazy thinking all these things. I can't love him. There's no way that I could love him and still want to be with Ethan. Right?

  I need to stay strong. I want to be with Ethan. 

  "No, I'm good." I give him a soft smile. "But thanks."

  "You sure?" 

  "Yea, really."

  "Alright." He brings his feet down and stands. "I'll see you later."

  "Later." I watch him leave my office and I'm mentally kicking myself. 

  I just turned down free lunch. Damn it.

~~

  "So....you've been spending a lot of time with Justin lately." Lori gives me a sideways look.

  "Yea. So what?" I pull up to the red light. 

  "Is there something I should know about?"

  "Like what? He's my friend." I shrug and hit the gas as the light turns green. Fucking stop lights in California. As soon as you stop at the red light it turns green again.

  "Ok, he's your friend." She nods.

   I know that tone. She's trying to force it out of me and there's nothing to tell her. Justin is my friend. Ethan is my boyfriend. End of story.

  "He's your really hot friend that you used to date."

  Ah ha! I knew it was coming.

  "Your point?" 

  "My point is you can't just be friends with someone once you have that history with." She says. "You guys were pretty intense for a minute and there's no way in hell something like that just goes away."

  "Newsflash, it did go away." I roll my eyes.

  "Tay, come on. He's Justin freakin' Timberlake. How can you not think the man is gorgeous?"

  "Easy, he's an arrogant ass." Actually I do think he's pretty gorgeous. Men usually aren't but this one is.

  She turns to me fully as we pull onto his street. She really needs to drop this cause we're too close to his house and that's the last thing I need. For someone at this BBQ to hear us talking about him. With my luck it'll be Trace who'll go running back to Justin with 'Taylor wants you' bullshit.

  "You want his ass." She grins at me.

  I groan and pull into the driveway. "I do not want him or his ass." I punch in the code at the gate. "I have Ethan."

  "Who you're in an open relationship with."

  "We are not seeing other people." I put the car in park. "I am only seeing Ethan. I am only interested in Ethan. I do no want to date or sleep with anyone who is not named Ethan."

  "We'll see." She smiles, climbing out of the car.

  Sometimes I really want to slap my best friend. 

~

  So...maybe Lori was right about one thing. Maybe I do want his ass. Cause right now, watching him grilling in just a pair of board shorts, I'm feeling the effects of not having any kind of physical relationship for the past two months.

  "You want cheese on your burger?" Trace yells over at me. He reaches out to take the spatchula from Justin.

  "Please." I yell back.

  He nods and throws a piece of cheese on a meat patty.  I turn back to Rachel and Lori but I can see Justin and Trace talk a minute before he turns and heads into the house.

  It's been a really weird afternoon. Justin greeted Lori and I when we got here but hasn't really said anything else to me. He's been floating around talking to everyone else but me. I can't help but wonder what's going on.

  "I'll be right back." I say to Lori and Rachel before turning and heading into the house.

  I walk to the kitchen thinking maybe he went to get another beer but he's not there. I make my way through the living room and out to the garage where I know he has the housekeep stock the extra beer.

  I see him standing in the corner of the garage, a box of beer in his hands.

  "Hey." I call out.

  "Fuck!" He yells as the box falls from his hands. The glass bottles inside explode and beer leaks from the box.

  "Oh my God! I'm so sorry!" I run over to help clean up. "I didn't mean to scare you."

  "It's fine." He says grabbing the broom.  He starts to sweep up the liquid and I have to laugh.

  "What's so funny?" He looks up at me, still sweeping.

  "You're sweeping up beer." I point out. "You need to just dry it. Sweeping isn't going to do you any good."

  He looks down to see the puddle of liquid still there. "Shit."

  "Hang on." I run into the house and grab a towel from the spare bathroom in the hall.

  "Here." I walk back across the garage. "Move out of the way."

  "I got it." He reaches for the towel. "There's glass everywhere."

  "All the more reason for you to watch out super star." I grin as I kneel on the concrete and begin to mop of the spilled beer.

  "Hang on." He bends down. "Let me move this before you cut yourself." He reaches for the box and moving carefully over to throw it away.

  I finish cleaning up the mess and stand up. "All done." I grin before throwing the towel in the trash can. "You'll never miss that." I say when he starts to protest about the towel.

  He rolls his eyes and crosses his arms across his chest. 

  My eyes are instantly drawn to his arms as they flex. I can't stop thinking about all the dirty things I want to do to him.

  "Stare much?" He smirks.

  "You wish." But I can feel my face flush. 

  He laughs. "I'm not complaining."

  I fight the urge to roll my eyes. He knows he fucking sexy and takes pleasure it pointing it out. Cocky bastard.

  "I just came to help you with the beer." I walk past him, towards the boxes in the corner of the garage.

  Before I can move to pick up one of the boxes, I can feel his fingers graze my lower back, just under my tank top.

  I lick my lips and close my eyes. He really needs to stop doing that. It's not fair to do that to a sexually frustrated woman.

  "You wanna stay tonight?" He whispers close to my ear. 

  I can feel his body heat close behind him. "Why would I do that?" His presses his hand flat to my lower back and slides it around to grip my waist.

  "I think we both know why you would do that." He steps closer, his body pressed against mine.

  I've lost all brain function. I cannot think when he's this close to me. All I want to do is take advantage of not having a boyfriend.

  I lean back into him. "Justin....is this a good idea?"

  "I think it's a great idea." He leans in and presses a kiss to my neck.

  I tilt my head to the side as his lips smudge up and down my neck. "What about Ethan?"

  "Open relationship." He whispers in my ear. "Look it up."

  I turn around. "I'm with Ethan."

  "I know that." He rolls his eyes. "But I love you."

  "How do you know he doesn't?"

  "He never would have suggested this whole dating other people shit if he really did."

  I sigh. "You don't know that. It's just easier this way. He's going to be gone for so long."

  "That's an easy out. A ready made excuse."

  I can't help but think maybe he's right. I shake my head. Ethan would never do that to me. He says he loves me and I believe him.

  I look at Justin, his face close to mine. As much as I care for Ethan and want to be with him, I cannot deny that there is something between us. There always has been.

   "I do not love you." I step closer to him. "Understand?"

  "You do." He says as his fingers trace my cheek. "But I can wait until you realize it."

  He's insane. I just need to get laid and then it'll be ok. I know the sex will be great. While Ethan is gone, I'll have a sex buddy in Justin. Not the brightest idea I've ever had but maybe I can get over whatever this attraction is to him. I'll sex him out of my system per say.

   "Just sex."

  "It's never been just sex." He whispers as he lowers his head and kisses me.