He’s gone.

After two days of ignoring each other, he just left. No good-bye, no nothing.

I’ll be the first to admit I’m a little upset by that. I mean, we’ve spent the last two weeks together and he can’t even say good-bye to me?

I guess that just proves I was right about him. I was just another notch on his belt and he got mad when I wouldn’t give him what he wanted. Then when I wanted to give in, I wasn’t good enough anymore.

Hell, Trace even said good-bye to me. The little midget hugged me a little too long and gave me a tap on the ass before he left. I knew the whole being nice to me thing was all an act, but shit, I wish I knew why.

Well, I guess there’s no use dwelling on someone that couldn’t even be bothered enough to say good-bye to me. So, I’ll run. Run until I get to my favorite place in the entire world.

My rocks looking out over the ocean.

I climb up to the top and make my way towards the edge to sit to just relax. I spot a piece of paper flapping in the wind being held down by a rock. Curiosity got the best of me so I grabbed the paper, tossing the rock in the water below.

The piece of paper shook in my hand as drops of water hit it over and over. It took me a minute to realize I was crying. I sobbed for what felt like hours, just sitting on the rocks.

What have I done?

************************************************************************

I’m officially driving myself insane.

I’ve been crying constantly for weeks now and I don’t know what to do about it. I miss him, my heart feels hallow without him around and I have to admit that scares the shit out of me.

I told myself I wouldn’t let my heart get involved, but I guess it has a mind of it’s own.

I can’t take it anymore. I’ve been trying my hardest to get past this, but it’s tearing me apart.

“Maddy, just call him.” My good friend, Hadley says for the thousandth time.

“Had, I can’t.”

“Tell me again why you can’t call a man your in love with.” She says and I can just see her shaking her head at me.

“Hadley, he’s moved on. I’m sure he picked up some chick in the friggin’ airport for Christ’s sake. He hadn’t had sex in two weeks, he was due and I’m sure there were some good looking Barbie dolls at the airport or at his house just waiting for him.”

“Mad, not every guy is a jerk.”

“He all but, flat out admitted that he was a sex addict. I was the only thing available to him and he wanted me until he realized he could do so much better. I don’t need that in my life Hads.”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit, Mads. He cared enough to leave you a note in your favorite spot in the world telling you you’re an amazing woman. He has feelings for you, he’s just as scared as your are to admit them out loud.”

“If he cared he would have called.”

“Does he even have your number?” She asks.

“Well, no, but he knows how to get in touch with my parents and they know my number.”

“Yeah, like Victoria and Peter would ever give out your number to anyone. They hardly want to even admit to you being apart of their family.”

I sigh, “They know who he is though. I mean they let him rent this place and you know they don’t do that for just anyone.”

“Did you ever stop to think that the big Musician didn’t do his dirty work for himself. I’m sure he has people who called and made the arrangements for him to stay there which means your parents don’t have a flipping clue who was at their house. They know they got a shit load of money for it and that’s all they care about.”

“I hate it when your right Hads.” I admit with a sigh.

“Call him.” She says yet again.

“No, I think it’s time to let go.”

“Madison, don’t do this.” She says sadly.

“I have to Hadley. I can’t take this anymore and I know if I call him and he’s with another woman it will tear me apart even more. I think it’s just best for me to move on and get over this.”

I just wish I knew how.

************************************************************************

I’ve been busying myself in the studio for the past three months, but nothing seems to be enough to take my mind off Madison. I miss her. I flat out can’t stand being away from her and there’s nothing I can do about it.

The day I got back I was rushed into a meeting. First I had to work with three different artist and get out a single for each of them ASAP. Then I had to work with Trace on our Fall clothing line. Then I got phone call after phone call about an ‘issue’ at the restaurant.

I’m so overloaded with shit, I don’t even know what to do with myself. I’ve working my ass off for the last three months and I honestly feel like I’ve accomplished nothing. I know in reality I have and that’s all well and fine, but I still feel just out of it without Madison around.

I miss walking into a room to be greeted by that magical smile of hers. I miss hearing her laugh, fuck I miss just looking into her beautiful blue eyes, running my hand through her silky hair.

Fuck, I miss the hell out of her.

Trace has dragged me out to club after club almost every night, trying his hardest to get me to take any of the assorted women around us home. I can’t and I wont. I’ve turned down more ass the past three months then I ever thought I could in a lifetime.

I wish I could just call her, but I haven’t the slightest idea how to get in touch with her. I tried her parent’s but they claimed to not know whether or not she even had a cell phone and the beach house didn’t have a landline.

“Are you ever going to snap out of this funk?” Trace mutters, just loud enough for me to hear. “If you want this to be a hit, you need to put your heart in it man.”

I shrug with a sigh, telling Ciara to do another take. This song is going to be hot, but Trace is right, I need to snap out of this funk if I want it to be a hit. I can’t put my heart in this as much as I want though, because my hearts in a house in Miami Beach.

“Why don’t we call it a day C… I’ll play around with what we have at home and we’ll come back clean tomorrow.” I say through the speaker. She nods, waving as she leaves. Her crew follows her out after saying their good-byes leaving me and Trace alone.

“Dude, I really think you need to get over this chick and fast. It’s seriously fucking with your life and it’s not good, man.”

“What the fuck do you think I’ve been doing for the last three months, Trace? I’ve been trying my goddamn hardest to get over her, but I can’t.” I yell, running a hand over my face with a frustrated sigh.

“I just want to hear her voice, see her smile again. I miss her like fucking crazy and I don’t know what to do about it.”

“Call her.” He says.

“I don’t have her number.” I grumble.

“What if I told you I knew how to get in touch with her?” He says with a defeated sigh.

I turn quickly towards him, “You know how to get in touch with her? How?”

“She called me a few weeks ago. I still have her number on my phone.” He admits.

I could kill him, “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me? What did she want?”

He sighs, “She was calling because you left a couple of shirts there and she wanted to know how to get them back to you.”

“That’s it?” I ask, staring at him somewhat patiently.

He groans, shaking his head.

“What else?” I push.

“She wanted to know how you were doing.”

“And?” I push harder.

“I told her you were fine.” He pauses, but I can just tell there’s more.

“And…”

He sighs, heavily, “I may have said something about you having dinner with a woman.”

“You what?” I yell, “Why the fuck would you do that?”

“It wasn’t a lie! You were out with Ciara.” He defends himself.

“On business with ten other people, which I’m sure you forgot to mention. What the fuck Trace!” I yell getting more and more pissed off by the second.

“I figured it was for the best.”

“Well you were wrong.” I curse under my breath, “You just fucked up something that could’ve been the best thing to ever happen to me.”

“But you’re here and she’s there. You wouldn’t have become anything anyway. I figured I could get her to move on while I was trying to get you to move on.”

“I don’t want to move on! I want her.” I yell, grabbing his shirt, shaking him with each word.

“Then call her… Tell her I’m an idiot, which she already knows and… tell her how you feel.”

“Like she’ll fucking believe me now. She’s been fucked over by so many men… Fuck now she thinks I did it to her too. What’s the matter with you?”

“Well, Fuck! You’ve been so fucking quiet lately I figured you were just pissed off to be home. I didn’t realize you missed this chick.”

“I don’t just miss her, man.” I let his shirt go, “I’m in love with her.”

His eyes bulge out his head, “You’re what?”

“I love her and you just fucked up any chance I had with her.” I say, turning and walking out of the studio leaving him to his thoughts.

I spent the rest of the night pissed off, certainly not sleeping. The next morning wasn’t much better than the day before and I could tell Ciara was getting a little pissed off with me. She wouldn’t say shit with a mouthful, but if looks could kill…

After lunch things started to go a little more smoothly, but I still wasn’t on my A game. Trace never showed up and it’s probably for the best. I’m sure I wouldn’t have been on my best behavior if I had to look at him today.

After the longest ten hours of my life, I asked everyone to go home. I figure if I can just get some sleep tonight, tomorrow will be a better day.

“You work awfully late. No wonder you needed a vacation.” I hear as everyone starts to file out.

My head whips towards the door and my heart stops beating.

Madison.

“Hey Superstar.” She says with that gorgeous smile.