21. There's No Place Like Home [Part 2]

Somewhere in Boston

At the Marshall's Residence

End of June

Delilah's P.O.V

This is agony!

No, this is some sick twisted torture!

I can't believe I'm wishing I could trade places with Justin right now.

And you know what? I think my parents know this and they're having a grand ole time with it.

I'm home on my summer break finally, and while I'm glad to be away from Higher Heights for the next few months, I think that I'm more equip to handle Higher Heights drama than be greeted and ogled by my parents.

"So tell us more about this Justin character Lili. I think it's nice that he took up this challenge to attend Higher Heights for his fans."

Oh you have no idea mom!

I gaze at my mother, my eyes slightly wide and begging, pleading for her to stop this madness.

I mean seriously, this Justin character? Really mom?

"What else is there to tell mom? I told you everything from the moment I met him to when Marco showed up on campus to what happened after with the three of us hanging out and Marco nearly getting his hands on Ethan! There's nothing more to tell." I say dramatically.

Marco is having a grand time in the corner of our spacious living room, his silent amusement going unnoticed by our parents, but not by me. He enjoys when I'm in distress mode due to our parents' incessant antics.

"Well, he's a celebrity yes? How comes I've never heard of him?" Mom questions and I roll my eyes. "I think I'd like to meet him sometime. Would that be possible? I mean, according to Marco, he looked out for you and it's only fair that your dad and I meet him and thank him in person." She continues.

Not likely mom, not likely.

If I can help it, Justin will not meet my wacko parents. I'm actually the normal one in the bunch. That says a lot.

My mom, Linda Marshall, is a beautiful African American woman who's smart, sophisticated and looks and acts the part. But, when it comes to the entertainment world of generations after hers, she's clueless.

"Ever heard of N'sync mom?" I question cautiously and she shrugs uncaringly only causing me to groan. "That's where Justin's music career launched him into superstardom..." I explain.

"Oh wait!" She interrupts and I note the light smile on my dad's face. He's enjoying this too. Damn him. "Are they the ones who sang, ‘tell me why, ain't nothing but a heartache, tell me why, ain't nothing but a mistake...'cus I want it that way...'"

"Oh my god." I breathe heavily, my face heating up with embarrassment. By now, Marco is full out laughing at this little display. Parents shouldn't sing, especially when it's off key like my mom. "No mom, that's Backstreet Boys. Justin was in N'sync."

"But, I thought Justin was the blonde younger looking one..."

"Mom!" I wail. "No, that's Nick from Backstreet boys. Justin was in N'sync!" I reiterate.

She frowns deeply, not comprehending and I groan loudly.

"You know! ‘You're all I ever wanted, you're all I ever needed yeah, so tell me what to do now, when I want you back!' Or, ‘It's tearing up my heart when I'm with you, but when we are apart I feel it too, and no matter what I do, I feel the pain, with or without you.'" I sing the choruses to two of their songs for her, hoping that will jog her memory. They're the only two songs I know.

Oh wait, Justin did have that ‘Cry me a river' song, but if I told my mom that, it would open up a whole new string of conversation topics I do not want to go through right now.

Justin may not know this, but I did know those two songs of theirs when they just came out years ago in their little group. I remember I heard them on the radio and did confuse them with Backstreet boys at first but then I was able to tell the difference between the two boy bands. I'll never ever admit that to Justin though. He'd never make me live it down.

"Oh! Yes, I remember those songs. You sang them all the time. But you never could tell those boys apart." My mom remembers and I blush massively.

Justin is to never know about this. No one is, outside of my family.

"I wasn't exactly a fan mom. I just thought those two songs were catchy." I state and she nods in agreement, a large smile making its way onto her aging face.

It's true, they were catchy songs. Back in the 90s, boy bands and girl groups were in. But, I didn't have their posters in my room, I didn't go to any of their concerts and I didn't even buy their CDs. In fact, I didn't know any of their names and called them ‘backstreet boys number two' until I learned their group name was N'sync. Gosh, I wonder what Justin would think and say if he knew this. Well, that's too bad because he will never know.

"Well, that's nice hun. Like I said, I'd love to meet this Justin fellow some time. He sounds like a decent, respectful guy." She concludes and I heave a sigh, shaking my head in slight amusement at my mom's enthusiasm.

I know her, and I know the look she's giving me. She won't say it, but I know that she's thinking, maybe hoping Justin would be some type of romantic interest for me. It would definitely give her a sense of relief because to her, I'd be too pre-occupied with Justin to have time to deal with Ethan and his bullshit. And she would be right about that, but Justin and I...a couple? Boyfriend and girlfriend? Lovers? I just...I don't know...I can't see it.

Part of me wonders about him, about what it would be like if we...you know...especially with the kind of kisses he's been planting on me lately; but there's the other part of me who doesn't even want to take the risk and find out. That part seems to be winning when I keep remembering that Justin has a completely different life outside of Higher Heights that I know nothing about. Plus, if I ever got hurt again, I can't guarantee I'll be strong enough to get through it and over it this time around. I'd be destroyed for good this time and I don't fancy living the rest of my life as a shell of the person I once was.

"You should invite Justin up here to visit during you guys summer break." My dad interrupts my thoughts, his thick English accent swaying my attention.

"Doubt it dad. Justin's busy. He's got a lot going on."  I counter and he shrugs dismissively.

"Celebrities only want you to think they are busy 24/7. Most of the time, they're not." My dad quips and I laugh lightly.

That's Howard Marshall for you. He's the only one in the family with the refreshing sense of humor. Part of that is why I love my dad. My humor is very sarcastic and sometimes crude, but it works for me.

"Well, for what it's worth, I think mom and Lili should do a duet of their favorite boy band songs. I'd pay money to see you guys live!"

Marco finally speaks up and leave it to him to add salt to my already large wound of embarrassment.

"Oh Marco, behave." Mom giggles and I can't help but laugh as well this time.

Well, this is my life; this is my family...the few people I'd lay my life down for.

And you know what? Even if this is painful to endure, theoretically, it still feels good to be home.

*****

LA, California

At Justin's Place

Justin's P.O.V

"So..." I hum mindlessly, my feet tapping lightly on my living room floor.

This is awkward.

"So..." Rachel echoes, looking between Trace, mom, Jess and me.

"I uh..." but I'm interrupted.

"How was your trip really Justin? We want to hear more about it." My mom voices and I nod, swallowing harshly.

"Right...my...trip." I mutter, my blues traveling over the few faces in the room. "Well, what's there to tell really? I mean, I think between all of you guys, you know how my experience at that boarding school went." I say certainly with a nod. "And it's not over yet. I have one more semester to go."

"Well yes, but you made it seem so dull sweetie. I'm sure it wasn't half as mundane as you made it out to be. There had to have been people at that school who knew you and what you did for a living. I hope no one gave you too much trouble." Mom voices and I cringe slightly.

Oh, you have no idea mom.

"Well it was..." But I'm cut short by Jessica.

"If you uh, don't mind Mrs. Harless, I'd really like to have a quick word with Justin in private. I know he just came back but..."

"That's fine sweetie. And please Jess, just because you and Justin aren't together officially anymore doesn't mean you can't still call me mom."

Oh god. Shutting my eyes tightly, I take in a deep breath before standing.

I knew this distraction wouldn't last for long.

The moment I stepped foot into my home, my mom pulled me into the living room and ordered everyone to sit so I could tell them about my school experience at Higher Heights. That was a few hours ago.

It was going great until Jess's little request just now. In fact, I think I managed to ignore her mostly for the entire span of my story. Now, now there's no avoiding her is there? I really have to do this...

"Sorry..." I begin, stretching out my limbs. "I'll be...we'll be back." I say hesitantly, shooting Trace a look before I leave the room with Jessica.

I listen to her light footsteps hot on my trail as I waltz into the kitchen and then exit out the sliding doors towards the backyard where the pool and Jacuzzi are situated.

I look around noting the quiet atmosphere and I'm immediately reminded of my two dogs Buck and Bren.

I know they're safe though. They must still be at Trace's or Rachel's. I'll see them soon. I missed them and I'm sure they missed me, but they are the least of my worries right now.

I have an ex who I'm sure is going to demand some type of explanation as to why we weren't really in touch for the past half a year and counting.

Inhaling deeply, I swipe my palms down my t-shirt before whipping around to face Jess.

As expected, her arms are crossed and her eyes narrowed as she glares at me.

She's cute though in her short faded jeans skirt and red camisole top.

"Well?" She snaps and I curve a brow at her.

"Well what?" I act dumb.

"Aren't you going to say anything to me?" She hisses and I shrug.

"I just did." I say smartly. "But uh...you look nice." I smile bashfully and her eyes widen in disbelief.

"That's it Justin? I've barely heard from you all year and all you have to say is I look nice?"

I pause to think for a second or two and then nod in affirmation. "Pretty much, yeah." I hold my smile which totally pisses her off.

She huffs loudly and rolls her eyes in the process but that does nothing to deter me.

"Unbelievable. You're unbelievable Justin!" Jess grunts and again, I shrug my shoulders helplessly.

What is she expecting from me? What does she want me to say here? Women are so fucking confusing sometimes.

"What do you want from me Jess?" I ask half-heartedly and she gasps in light shock.

"What do I want from you? Are you serious? Oh I don't know Justin. How about an ‘I'm sorry Jess I never cared enough to check up with you and let you know I was doing ok while finding out if you were ok as well.' Or how about a ‘you were right Jess, going to that boarding school did change me.' Or maybe a ‘damn Jess, I had no idea what you meant when you said I'd be too preoccupied with the boarding school girls to care about the fact that I have or had a girlfriend.'" She rants.

Slowly, my smile falls and it's replaced by a deep frown as I process what she just said.

I dart out my tongue and lick my lips, my eyes drifting towards the pool before they're back on her. "That's bullshit and you know it." I snap and she glares at me.

"Really Justin? That's bullshit? How so?" She inquires curtly.

Ok, I'll fuel her nasty attitude for the heck of it. I can't really blame her for it. I sort of did ignore her but before I left, I was the one begging and groveling for her to reconsider this ‘time-out' or ‘break' in our relationship. She really can't blame me here for respecting her wishes. She sure as hell couldn't have it both ways.

"First of all, you knew I was fine through Rachel and Trace. So don't act like we were completely disconnected. I knew how you were doing through them as well. Secondly, I did not allow some fucking school to change who I am. If I changed, it was a personal choice, but I'll leave you to decide whether I'm the same Justin or not. And thirdly, too preoccupied with boarding school girls? Jess, you know me better than that. If I had any inclination that our relationship wasn't already fucking dead, distance would not have been the problem considering our careers. Don't try to throw me the guilt card sweetie. I happen to know you were having a grand time down here. Like the time when you called me from the club fucking drunk off your ass. Or the fact that you didn't do much to stay in touch with me either. Sure, you called a few times, I'll give you that. And I almost never did. But come on Jessica, face it. You weren't pining over me or our so called relationship." I explain.

"You're full of shit, you know that Justin?" She bites back, clicking her teeth together and I hum in response, wanting this conversation or more argument to end.

"Did you hear anything I just said?" I ask.

"I heard every single word, but it's all coming out of your ass because you and I both know the reason why you didn't bother with me is because you were too caught up with whatever new girl toy you were after at that school." She hisses and I freeze mid-breath, my heartbeat increasing immediately.

Don't say it Jess, don't...

"Who is she?" She barks. "I know there's someone else. Trace won't tell me and Rachel has been acting strange saying she preferred you and I talked about our issues, but I know...I know there's another woman involved."

"Jess..." I sigh, wiping at my face to quell my anger. "There's no one that..."

"Don't lie to me Justin!" She cuts me off. "I know you! Have you forgotten that? I know when you're lying."

"Well fuck Jess. Do you ever know when I'm telling the truth? Because you question everything!" I yell angrily, stunning her into momentary silence.

"Fuck that Justin; who is she? Is she the same one who answered the phone when I called you some time back? Because I asked her who she was and she simply said to ask you to which I told her not to flatter herself if she thought she had any type of ranks. Like I cared." Jess utters.

Oh you cared Jess, you still do else we wouldn't be having this conversation right now.

So that's what Jess told Lilah that day when Lilah seemed upset and ended up breaking my antic plates? This is ridiculous.

"Jess, you're overreacting." I state but she shakes her head in protest.

"We were supposed to be on a break Justin. A break. That didn't mean we were broken up. That didn't mean it was ok for you to pursue someone else and end up falling in love with them or something." She whines but I only catch the last part of her statement.

"What did you say?" I ask in shock, my entire mood switching almost instantly.

"I said..."

"Hold that thought." I cut her off and begin to turn away from her but she stops me.

"Oh great, so you're going to walk away from me now because you can't face the truth?" She sneers.

"No, Jess. Look I'm sorry ok? I really, truly am. You were right, you win. I was wrong. I was an inconsiderate jerk. But I do genuinely care about you; I do still have love for you. I just...I need to sort some things out. Can you excuse me for a quick minute? I promise after, we'll have the rest of the night to talk this shit out if that's what you want." I ask her hopefully and she pauses for a minute to think before she relents.

"Fine. Fine whatever." She says tightly with a wave of her hand and I give her a quick smile before rooting out my phone from my jeans pocket.

"Thanks." I mutter, quickly turning and heading in the opposite direction.

I round the corner of my house and make my way over to the lake that overlooks the small span of trees on my estate.

I hit one of the speed dial buttons on my phone and wait patiently for someone to pick up as I walk along the small path, the bright moonlight my only source of illumination...

"Justin? Help! I need saving!" Comes and all too familiar voice on the other end of the line.

I chuckle softly, my grip on my phone tightening as I press it against my ear.

"I'm not superman; you'll need my friend Joey for that one." I joke and I'm met with a small giggle.

"Yeah, you're more of a green lantern superhero type."

"Ouch, that stung Lilah." I smile, even if she can't see me.

"Thought it would since I'm not next to you with a pin to prick you." She jokes.

"You're really serious about this deflating of my ego thing huh?" I ask skeptically.

"Yes and no. But, seriously though, thank you for giving me a reason to leave the room and be away from my crazy family. You would not believe the kind of stuff we've been talking and arguing about."

"Oh? Now I have to know." I say curiously, stopping to take a seat on of the benches I had added out here.

"Sorry, you never will." She says confidently.

"Uh huh, we'll see." I muse and she laughs loudly on the phone.

I've missed that laugh. Shit what am I thinking? It's only been like a day...or less.

"So, what's up Justin? I said I would call you back when I could. You beat me to it. What's going on?"

"Nothing's going on Lilah. Can't I just want to talk to you?" I question.

"No. Because things are never that simple with you. Aren't you happy to be back home? Why are you wasting your time with me on the phone?"

"Come on Lilah, it's not a waste of time talking to you." I scold her. "And I've seen my family for the night. They're not going anywhere. You on the other hand..." But I drift, biting the corner of my lip when she breathes in deeply over the line.

"Did you have a fight with them?" She enquires and damn she's smart. "Because if you had a fight with your family that's not good."

"No." I state. "We didn't have a fight."

"Ok." She decides.

"That's it? You're not going to tell me I'm lying?" I ask in astonishment.

"What for? I always trust that you tell me the truth Justin. Even if I may give you shit sometimes, part of why we work well together is because I actually trust you, believe it or not. So, if you tell me you didn't have a fight with one of your family members, I believe you. It's your choice if you wish to lie to me or not. I'm not going to hold it against you." Lilah voices and wow.

Where the fuck has she been all my life? This is getting to be too much even for me. This can't continue. Never have I had someone accept me for me no questions asked who wasn't part of my family. And Trace doesn't count because he's basically my brother.  All the women I've been with, they've tried to change me in some way, shape or form. But Delilah, she's...she's different. She's...

"You're amazing you know that?" I say honestly.

"Oh stop." She jokes and my mouth curves into a large grin.

"I didn't lie just so you know. I didn't have a fight with any of my family members but I did sort of get into an argument with..." And I trail.

"With who Justin. Spit it out."

Should I tell Lilah? I'm not sure how she'll take it. I might as well just stick with this honesty streak.

"With my uh...ex girlfriend. Or, she's supposed to be my ex. I'm not really sure. That's what we were arguing about." I explain.

"Oh..." Lilah says softly, almost inaudibly. "Well, you do what you gotta do. Why are you talking to me for? You have your life to get in order on your end. You're back home Justin. You should be thrilled and getting your tasks in order..."

"But that's the thing Lilah!" I cut her off. "I don't want to! I thought I did, but I don't. I can solve my shit easily, but that's not the issue here."

"I'm not following. Then what is?" She asks reluctantly.

I can understand that she's skeptic about whatever it is I'm going to say but guess what? It needs to be said, only, not so much over the phone as opposed to in person. Plus, Jess has no fucking idea what she said to me...

"Would you believe me if I said you were the main issue on why my world is being flipped upside down?"

I shut my eyes tightly, waiting for some type of explosion from Lilah but nothing comes. In fact, there's dead silence on the other end of the line.

My blues slowly flutter open and I take in the slick reflection of the moonlight on the lake, the peaceful surroundings doing nothing to clam my heart or nerves.

"How did I end up being your biggest issue Justin?" Lilah whispers and I sigh.

"It's not that it's just...it's not in a bad way per say but...look I really can't do this on the phone with you Lilah. I can't really explain it. I'd rather it be in person."

"You don't have a choice. We're miles away from each other. This isn't Higher Heights Justin. We're back home, in the real world. If you have something to say to me, then say it now because I have to get off the phone soon. It's late." She states calmly and I nod, forgetting that she can't see me.

I think for minute, racking my brain for a solution, any type of solution that would make getting my feelings across easier for the both of us. Then it dawns on me, my smile slowly creeping back unto my face as I begin working out a schedule in my head.

"Ok, ok Lilah. Then how about this...how about, I get my shit in order here for the first week or so and then I come out to see you in Boston before you make your way down to Cali later this summer?"