18. Early Morning Monday

End of May

Next day...

My eyes shoot open and I sit up with a start breathing hard.

I look around, realizing it's still night, or according to my clock, minutes to five am.

"Shit..." I sigh while rubbing at my bare chest. "Did I dream that?" I wonder, images of Delilah and I kissing out by the pool flooding my mind.

I'm in my bedroom obviously and everyone turned in for the night so...I begin replaying yesterday's events in my mind.

I went out with Rachel and then came home to a high Trace and Delilah. Delilah ended up confessing that she...she liked me or whatever under her weed high and then when I attempted to leave, she stopped me and we ended up kissing. I think that about sums it all up.

So it wasn't a dream. I didn't dream her saying she had a crush on me or that she had feelings for me. Granted she was high when she said it. I'm kind of hoping she'll still feel the same way when she's sober and wakes up. It would make things a lot easier if she did.

Tensing when I feel shifting next to me, I frown and look to the other side of my bed.

Air rushes into my lungs when I make out a head of dark soft hair sprawled out on my pillow blocking out the person's face.

But I know who it is. I know exactly who's lying next to me. What I'd like to know is how and when she got here because I distinctly remember going to bed alone.

After Lilah and I kissed out by the pool last night, I sort of still walked away from her and headed into the house. In fact, I passed Rachel and Trace straight and headed right up to my room before I ended up doing or saying something I would regret. I was pissed and confused. I was angry at myself for giving into Lilah and at her for getting my hopes up.

I didn't even pause long enough to see her reaction.

I mean, who the fuck am I kidding? High Delilah and sober Delilah are two very different women. One is outspoken, bold and funny and the other is withdrawn, uptight and sometimes brusque.

I thought that by the time the next day came, we'd be back to square one.

I should have maybe stayed to find out how far we could have gone but the logical and decent side of me wasn't going to take advantage of her or the situation.

But I loved kissing her; god I loved kissing her a lot.

Still, what the hell is she doing here right now, sound asleep, snoring lightly beside me?

"Lilah?" I whisper, nudging her shoulder gently.

When she doesn't budge I sigh and smooth my palms over my bare chest.

I smirk softly when I realize that I'm only in my boxers here.

Clearing my throat, I pass my hands over my head and throw the covers off my body before kneeling to face her sleeping form.

I look at her closely, noting the large t-shirt she has on where one side is hanging slightly off her shoulder.

She's partially on her side and stomach and her hair is covering most of her face which has me wondering how she's breathing between her hair and the pillow.

"Lilah." I call a little louder this time.

Nothing.

Groaning, I bend down and shift some hair out of her face and behind her ear.

I bring my mouth all the way down to her ear and take in a deep breath before shouting lightly, "wake up!"

Her eyes immediately pop open and lock onto my blues in horror.

She gasps in shock but then quickly calms down as she continues to eye me.

"Damn it Justin! Are you trying to make me deaf?" She mumbles, about to turn and go back to sleep but I stop her, my hands gripping her waist to hold her in place as I hover over her.

"What the hell are you doing in my bed Lilah?" I ask in an amused tone, looking at her with interest.

"Sleeping." She mutters with a roll of her eyes.

"Clearly. But, what's wrong with doing that in your own bed down the hall?" I question her again and she sighs before rolling onto her back. "Not that I'm complaining but..." I pause and chuckle softly. "Ok, I am." I decide. "Why are you here?"

I release my hold on her, watching as she casts her vision to the ceiling.

"I don't know; I couldn't sleep." She says lamely.

"Oh is that all." I snap, lying on my side to face her with my elbow on the pillow and my hand propped underneath my head.

"I'm sorry Justin, I was so stoned and wide awake and after I told Trace and Rachel goodnight, I just laid there on my bed for what seemed like forever. Since you sort of stormed out on me I figured I'd go check up on you to see if you were ok, but when I knocked and entered your room, you were already asleep. I asked if you were awake and you actually muttered ‘no.' It was kind of funny. Then, I asked if I could join you because I couldn't sleep and you muttered ‘yeah, get in, but no loud snoring.' So, I hopped in next to you, told you I was sorry and whispered goodnight and you just hummed a response before you were out like a light again." Delilah explains.

"Wow, I have no recollection of that." I chuckle and Delilah giggles in return.

"You talk in your sleep." She nods and my chuckles increase.

"Nothing incriminating I hope." I muse and she shakes her head ‘no.'

Silence engulfs us but strangely enough, there's no awkwardness between us right now.

So maybe I'm still a little iffy about why Delilah's here but I shouldn't be complaining right? This should be a good sign that she remembers what happened earlier out by the pool and...

"About what happened earlier Justin..." Lilah begins, cutting off my trend of thought.

I gaze at her silently, waiting for her to continue.

She doesn't make eye contact with me. She's not even looking at me.

"I remember and..." But I cut her off, not wanting to face the inevitable.

"It's ok Lilah." I sigh, lying on my back as well with my vision now cast upwards.

"No, Justin I..."

"You were high. It's cool. No harm done." I interrupt her again.

"But I want you to know that..."

 "We can forget about whatever happened Lilah. I mean you're sober now right? So, all's well. We'll enjoy the rest of our time here, get back to finish up the last two or so weeks of school and then head home on our summer break..." I state.

"Gosh Justin, would you shut the hell up?!" She snaps and I turn my head in her direction with a half grin on my face.

"Sorry." I groan softly.

"Geez! You're so annoying sometimes and unbearable!" Delilah huffs and I pout lightly.

"Oh don't sugarcoat it or anything, I can take it." I say sarcastically. "Glad to see you're sober and back to your old self." I grumble.

"Aw, no don't do that. But just, ugh! You irritate me Justin. You get under my skin, I can't help it." She admits.

"I feel better now, thanks." I utter dryly.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Lilah rambles out and I can't help but laugh.

In the blink of an eye, she scoots over to me until we're practically touching before she's on her side facing me with half of her body hovering over me, her gray-browns wide and imploring.

"Ever heard of personal space Lilah? Need I remind you that we're in my room alone, on my bed alone, wearing..." But I drift when I see a smile forming on her face. "Ok, what part of this seems off to you? Because this isn't working for me." I suddenly switch, about to push her away, but I hesitate when she leans down and places a gentle kiss on my lips.

"Justin, nothing I do, think or say makes any sense to me when it comes to you. Had it been anyone else, I would not be in this position I've willingly put myself in presently. But, what I've been trying to tell you for the past how many minutes, without you rudely interrupting me, is that I remember what happened out by the pool last night and...I don't take it back."

"You don't take what back?" I question, playing dumb as I hold Lilah's gaze.

I can feel my heartbeat speeding up and the longer she stays this close to me, the harder it's going to be to keep my self control. I think I'm doing a damn good job right now considering we're still clothed even if we're not wearing much to begin with.

Shit, I can't even believe I feel guilty about thinking of Delilah in that context.

"You're going to make me spell it out for you huh?"

"Pretty much." I state smugly and she shoots me a warning glare.

"Ok Justin. I'll feed your ego just this once. I'm not going to take back what I said to you. I told you it wasn't the high talking and I meant it. I'm sober now. I remember what I said and I still feel the same way. I like you. I'm not going to deny it or pretend anymore. We're friends first and foremost yes, but we're a little more as well. Yes, I think we should talk about where we stand with each other and yes, in order for us to work or whatever, I need to put my past to rest. No, I will not require your help on that part even if I know you'd love to make your fists do the talking. I can handle Ethan on my own. But you were right. I needed to open up and start living my life instead of dwelling and holding onto the past. Everything you've told me since I've gotten to know you has been fact and I was just too stubborn to see it. But, I am grateful that I met you even if we were stuck with each other at first and I wanted nothing to do with you. Thank you for proving me wrong."

Delilah inhales deeply after her explanation and all I can really do is grin like an idiot.

"So..." I start off with a cheesy grin on my face. "Does that mean you're like my girlfriend now?" I ask jokingly.

"Ha! You wish Justin. No." Delilah says bluntly and my smile falls significantly.

"You get a kick out of telling me no huh?"

"Not really...ok kind of."

"Uh huh. But, I like you too. What's the big deal?" I ask in a displeased tone.

"The big deal is I don't know ‘celebrity Justin.' How are you so sure I'll like him?" Delilah challenges while poking me in the chest.

"He's the same guy. I mean, I'm the same guy." I say confused. "I'm me. What you see is what you get Lilah. My life outside of Higher Heights isn't that big of a deal and being here hasn't changed me."

That's not a total lie. Technically, Higher Heights itself hasn't changed me, but, Delilah might have. And I know I'm watering down my celebrity status for her, but the last thing I want is for her to run away because of the publicity and fame that comes with being me and being linked to me. We're finally making progress. I don't want to scare her away.

"Nice try, but from what I know, you're a big deal Justin. Just because I don't keep up with Hollywood and its trends doesn't mean they don't exist. According to Sandra and Michelle, you're the Justin Timberlake. Clearly, emphasis on ‘the' is huge." Delilah giggles and I shake my head in amusement.

"Fine...whatever." I brush her off realizing that as much as I'd love to continue this conversation, the sun isn't up yet which means I should probably try to grab a few more hours of sleep. "I just want to know one thing."

"What?" She inquires.

"Would you be willing to change your mind and come out to California to visit on our break so you can see for yourself that even in my regular surroundings, I'm the same Justin?" I ask hopefully.

She pauses to look at me, seemingly in thought before she exhales softly, ignoring my question. "We should probably get some more sleep. It's way too early to get up. Goodnight Justin." Delilah voices before she turns away from me to get more comfortable.

I stare at her back in disbelief for a brief moment before I shrug everything off, at least for now.

"Uh huh..." I mumble, releasing a light yawn. "Sure, sure. I'll get you to change your mind. And actually, it's good morning by the way." I correct her and she huffs but doesn't say anything else.

I close my eyes, trying to ignore the fact that Delilah is only a few inches away from me, lying on my bed. Having my mind jumping with all kinds of thoughts about her now will not relax me so I can fall back asleep.

It takes me a few seconds to completely clear my mind and allow the sleep to take over.

However, just before I can fully knock out, Delilah breaks the silence between us by whispering the most random thing.

"I really like your angel and cross tattoos by the way. They're nice." She breathes out and my lips slowly curve into a smile as my eyes remain closed. So miss Marshall has been checking me out huh? I wonder what else she's noticed about me.

"Thanks..."

"I have a tat too, but you can't see it; it's hidden." Lilah giggles. She lets out a soft yawn and I actually find that disturbingly cute.

"Well, look at it this way; there are only so many places you could hide it on your body, all of which are discoverable if you allow someone to explore. I'm sure I'll see it eventually...some time...one day." I say positively.

"Uh huh...eventually...you think so?" Lilah asks drowsily.

My eyes flutter open slightly and I take in the dim light seeping into the room through the windows as dawn starts rolling in.

"Without a doubt."