17. Blazed Sunday

Next day...

"Damn J! This place is fucking spotless dude! Did you hire a maid while we were gone?"

"No asshole! I just thought, you know, I'd clean up for once since you all were coming through."

"Sure man, I totally believe you..."

My eyes flutter open and I roll onto my back smiling as I listen to Justin and Trace talking loudly and obnoxiously in the hallway.

"What aren't you telling us Justin?" Rachel pipes in and I giggle, shaking my head in amusement.

What a way to wake up. It's fun listening to them though as I stretch out my limbs from where I'm lying on what has to be one of the most comfortable beds I've ever slept on.

"Nothing, would you two please keep it down?" Justin demands in a low hiss.

"Why?" Trace inquires as their voices get closer and closer to my bedroom door.

"Because...because..." Justin hesitates and I can hear Rachel and Trace snickering. "Delilah's still sleeping." Justin snaps.

"Delilah's here? Oh really now. And why didn't you tell us that she was here?" Trace says suspiciously and I frown.

They didn't know I was going to be here?

"That would explain the clean house." Rachel teases.

"Shut it Rach." Justin snaps. "You know I'm a neat freak myself." He states.

"No shit. When your OCD kicks in you're a beast when it comes to cleanliness dude." Trace divulges and I hear Justin groan loudly.

"Both of you just shut the hell up and let's get your luggage to your rooms before you wake Delilah."

"But..."

"Shut the fuck up Trace! I'll talk to you when we get back downstairs." Justin growls and that's the last thing I hear before silence takes over and all I'm left with are faint footsteps and doors opening and closing.

I remain in my same spot for a bit, squinting under the rays of sunlight seeping through the curtains in the room.

Justin didn't tell Rachel and Trace I was going to be here? But why? The way he spoke about them coming over, I thought they knew. He lied and made it seem like they knew I was going to be here. For some reason that really pisses me off. But that's nothing compared to the surprise visit we got from Ryan last night.

I still can't believe that Ethan lied to his dad and told him some bogus story about I was pressuring him and messing up his game flow when I haven't even set foot in the gym for a long time. Ugh! I'm really starting to dislike Ethan. I have no idea what he's up to but I made sure to give my dad a heads up. Ryan can be useful when he chooses to be.

Justin seemed pretty calm about everything for the most part, but I know Justin well enough to know that when he sees Ethan again, he's not going to let what Ryan told us slide. I just hope it doesn't mess up the big game they have coming up at the end of the week.

Brushing off my thoughts, I stretch and finally hop off the bed so I can take a quick shower then grab something to eat.

"Now that Trace and Rachel are here...things should be fun."

**

Hours Later

"Your ex sounds like a psycho." Trace laughs loudly while sipping on his beer.

"Tell me about it." I sigh helplessly, sitting Indian style on the living room couch.

I just spent the last hour updating Trace on my life story. I figured, if he's Justin's best friend, then he must be someone trustworthy and worth talking to. I was right. He's a great listener and managed to crack jokes and make me laugh about my horrible situation with Ethan along the way.

Plus, this opening up to people thing isn't half bad. I guess Justin knew what he was talking about.

I didn't have much of a choice either since I've been stuck with Trace all afternoon. Justin and Rachel went out to do some shopping at Rachel's request so Trace and I got time to hang out and get to know each other better.

I'm not complaining. His company is nice.

"So, Justin told me you all are getting really close and that might be why your ex's been bitching." Trace speaks up.

I eye him wearily, noting how his brows curve with interest as I try to find the right words to respond.

"I guess I mean...I don't know. Ethan hasn't spoken to me in forever and then all of a sudden he wants to mend the past when Justin comes into the picture." I shrug and Trace nods, finishing off his beer before placing the empty bottle down.

"Sounds like a douche move to me." Trace says seriously and I giggle.

"I'm not worried though. By the end of this year, I'll be done with Higher Heights and done with Ethan." I beam.

"And what about Justin?" Trace inquires and my smile falls instantly.

"What about Justin?" I query.

"Will you be done with him too?"

There's a mischievous glint in Trace's eyes when he says this. What is he up to?

"I never gave it much thought. I mean, he'll be back to his regular lifestyle right? Whatever that is...and I'll be working on my art career so..."

I drift, not knowing what else to say. I don't want to be done with Justin. I want us to remain friends but, it's already hard to do now. How would we survive his life and my life combined?

"So just because you won't be seeing each other every day doesn't mean you have to cut all ties with each other." Trace interjects and I remain silent, glaring at him. "He told me he asked you to come out and chill with us in Cali on your summer break. He also told me that you said no." Trace grins brightly and I frown, wondering what part of this is funny.

"Why are you smiling?"

"Because, someone actually told him no." Trace chuckles but I fail to see the humor.

"Is he that spoilt?" I ask in curiosity.

"Yes and no. Justin's a complex person Delilah. But, the fact that you told him no very bluntly, I've decided that I like you a lot." Trace laughs and I can't help but crack a smile this time. "He was right. You're different, and I like that. Plus, you treat Justin like any other annoying guy when he gets on your nerves. That's also a plus. You're not one of those girls who drool over him and I think part of that is why he's so taken with you. But, you should come out. I'm sure you'd enjoy getting a tiny taste of his life outside your prison walls. And we'll have fun. Consider it." Trace states and I nod my head in agreement.

"Ok."

"Cool. You also look like you're stressed or maybe you have a lot on your mind. You need to relax some. Want to join me outside for a smoke?" Trace offers and my nose scrunches up in disgust.

"Ugh, Trace cigarettes are bad for you. They're slow killers." I point out and he laughs loudly before standing and stretching out his limbs. I do the same, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Who said anything about cigarettes Delilah?" He questions before dipping his hand into his jeans pocket and pulling out a small plastic bag.

I focus on the item and gasp in slight astonishment.

"Marijuana?" I ask in shock. "You smoke pot?"

"Who hasn't at one point in their life? I'm not really a smoker. I don't do this often anymore. Only once in a while. But Justin and I blazed a lot when we were younger, all back in his N'sync days. We've grown out of that hype though. Still doesn't hurt to mellow out every now and then."

"But I...I don't smoke." I hesitate, eyeing the substance in Trace's grasp.

I always used to be around Ethan when he and his friends would ‘light up' but I never had the guts to try it out. I've always been curious though about what it's like.

"Suit yourself. I'm not forcing you. I mean, you've got nothing to lose right? I'll be outside if you change your mind." Trace smiles and gives me a wink before he disappears out by the pool area.

I remain in my seat for a few more minutes, toying with my fitted black top and grey cotton shorts. I glance around, taking in the large plasma television and fireplace.

"Damn it, what the hell am I doing?" I whisper to myself before standing up and going in search of Trace.

He's right. I'm on edge because of everything happening in my life right now and I need to let the stress out. Is this the best way to do it? Probably not. But it's the only quick fix I have right now.

I find Trace sitting out by the pool taking a few puffs of his rolled up joint and I heave a sigh. I walk over to him and take a seat next to him all the while keeping my focus dead ahead on the pool.

"Are you sure?" He asks me while blowing out some smoke.

I take a whiff of the smoke and stretch out my hand to him, finally locking eyes with him as I note his amused expression. "Pass it." I demand and he does just that.

I glare at the joint in my hand for a mere second before I bring it up to my lips and take a long pull. I hold back my coughs and blow out the smoke before swallowing hard, the aftertaste causing me to cringe.

"Not bad Delilah." Trace sniggers when I pass him the joint.

"I'm so going to regret this." I groan, trying to get used to the feeling of having anything other than oxygen and carbon dioxide in my lungs.

"Maybe...maybe not. See, the best thing about a weed high is..." Trace pauses before taking a pull and blowing out the smoke. He licks his lips and passes the joint back to me while smiling. "There are no hangovers."

**

Later...

"Oh my gosh, the water is so blue!" I giggle wildly and Trace chuckles as well.

"Not really, it's the reflection of the sky." He points out as we both sit at the edge of the pool with our feet in the water.

"So, what gives the sky its color then?" I inquire, turning to look at him with glazed eyes.

"Uh...hell if I know. It's not really blue per say. It's all this science mumbo jumbo." He snickers and I smile until my cheeks hurt.

"That's awesome." I whisper before laying flat on my back with my hands stretched out on the pavement.

"Why are you whispering?" Trace asks, following suit to lie next to me.

"I don't know." I snort, erupting in laughter again.

"Oh shit, you're so high Delilah." Trace chortles.

"Really? I feel like...like I'm floating." I sigh contently and he groans.

"Definitely high." He reiterates.

"Whatever! I blame you and your green monster."

"Green monster? Holy shit." Trace busts out in laughing fits and I giggle along with him, not really knowing what the joke is.

"Guys! We're back!"

"Justin?" I frown at the sound of his voice. "Where the hell is that coming from?" I inquire because he sounds like he's so far away.

Trace gives me a look and shakes his head before responding. "We're out by the pool J!"

It's not long before I hear footsteps and notice a shadow blocking out my sunlight...well, the little light that's left from the setting sun anyway.

"Move, you're in my light!" I groan, lifting my hand to push at the person's legs. I immediately cringe and look up only to find Justin's sparkling blues looking down at me befuddled. "Goddamn, your legs are hairy Justin." I giggle, my palms slicking up and down his leg until I get to his toes and pinch the big one. "You should shave." I suggest and he smirks but remains quiet.

He takes a step away from me and I turn my head to see Rachel standing on the other side next to Trace.

"What the hell are you all doing lying on the pavement?" Rachel speaks up.

"Nothing." Trace mumbles. He says I'm high, but he's stoned as well.

"Everything." I add in.

"What the fuck is this?" Justin laughs lightly. "Are you all drunk?" He asks and Trace shakes his head before showing them the half full bag of weed.

"Nah man, we're high!" Trace drawls, finally sitting up and looking around dazed.

"Flying like a kite." I add in and I hear Rachel giggle in return.

"Ok then, well, I'm just going to take Trace here into the kitchen with me and Justin...you handle that." Rachel quips, referring to me I'd assume.

I watch intently as she helps Trace to stand so she can lead him back into the house.

"Don't be mad at Delilah Justin! We were just hanging out, having fun!" Trace calls out before he and Rachel disappear inside, leaving Justin and me alone.

I sigh, shifting my vision to the sky again, loving the light-headed feeling I have. Trace was right. This is much better than being drunk. It's like, I feel at peace with myself and with the world. It's like, everything is so clear and makes so much more sense.

"I can't believe you're high on weed Lilah." Justin says in disbelief while kicking off his shoes before he takes a seat next to me at the edge of the pool. "I should be angry, no furious at you for smoking it and at Trace for giving it to you but I'm not."

That grabs my interest and I slowly sit up before turning to face him.

"Why?" I question, taking in his soft yet worried stare.

"I don't know...I can't really be mad at you..." He trails off with a shrug and I scowl at him.

"Would it count if I said I was sorry?" I inquire and he smiles.

"What exactly are you apologizing to me for?" Justin nudges me playfully and I giggle, pushing him back.

"I'm not sure exactly. When I figure it out I'll let you know." I tell him.

"You do that." He shakes his head in amusement, casting his vision towards the pool and I sigh before resting my head on his shoulder.

He tenses a bit before relaxing against me. "Maybe we should head inside Lilah."

"I like it out here."

"I know but, Rach and I got food for everyone."

"I'm not hungry." I voice.

"Really? I usually have the munchies really bad when I'm high." Justin divulges and I hum in response.

"Trace and I raided the kitchen already." I giggle.

"Ah, that would explain the half eaten bag of Doritos on the counter." Justin muses.

"Uh huh..." I mutter distractedly. "Hey Justin?" I say softly.

"Hmm?"

"Would it be the weed talking if I told you you're not so bad after all?"

"I hope not." He whispers as I get more comfortable against him and my feet splash around some water.

"Would you believe me if I said I thought you were a great person despite the shit I've given you? And that you're a cutie, even when you're mad? And that I've missed you a lot more than I'm willing to admit? Would you believe me if I said I think I've developed a crush on you that goes past friendship?" I ask him, lifting my head to gaze into his blues.

He's looking at me with apprehension. He looks shocked like he doesn't know what to do or say.

"Ok, Lilah I think we should..."

"No!" I growl in protest, gripping his arm before he can attempt to move. "I mean it Justin. I don't think it's the high talking. I think, I always felt like this but never realized it until now."

"And what would that be exactly?" He's frowning at me, his lips pursing together as his brows knit in uncertainty.

Wow. What the hell did Trace put in that joint? Can weed make you hallucinate? I don't think so. So, why am I seeing this glow to Justin that I've never noticed before? Why is every single feature on him magnified all of a sudden? How comes I'm only now realizing how clear and blue his eyes are, how pink his lips are, or the fact that his hair has two color tones to it? How comes I'm only now noticing how thick and full his eyebrows and eyelashes are as he continues to glower at me? And, was he always this buff where I can see how defined his arms are in his t-shirt? Not to mention the fact that even if his legs are hairy, they're really firm too.

He's cute...no he's gorgeous. I'll give him that. But, still, I'm not like those girls who go crazy and loose all trend of thought at the sight of him. He's still preppy Justin to me. He still annoys me. Is it because he hasn't sung for me in person I don't see the whole celebrity factor to him and why people make such a big deal?

"Lilah? Are you going to answer me?" Justin inquires, interrupting my rambunctious thoughts.

"What if I said I like you?" I blurt out and he laughs softly.

"I like you too Lilah. Can we head in now?" He makes an attempt to move but I stop him.

"I swear it's not the high talking!" I try to reason even if my head is on its own planet right now.

"Sure." Justin says sarcastically and I groan.

"No listen Justin! I like you! I've always liked you! Oh my gosh, it makes perfect sense now. That's why I've tolerated you for so long."

"Geez, thanks..."

"It's not a bad thing though." I state in the middle of my epiphany when Justin decides to shift away from me to stand.

"I'm going in to grab a bite to eat. I'm kind of hungry. You can come in whenever."

"No Justin wait!" I call out to him, now on my feet as well. I rush over to him before he can make his way into the house and I spin him around to face me.

"I just told you I like you and you're walking away from me?" I state panic-stricken.

"I'm not even sure you know what you're saying right now Lilah." He mumbles sadly and I shake my head frantically.

"I do know. I know I'd be an idiot to not like you...to not care about someone as great as you. I'd be an even bigger idiot if I lied to you and to myself and called what we have simply friendship when it's much more than that now." I take in a deep breath, trying to make sense of my rampant thoughts. My heartbeat is steady and harsh and I feel like my feet are barely touching the ground but I ignore all of that because I think I just...I think I just admitted to having feelings for Justin. "I'd be an idiot if I said I didn't like those times when we kissed and that I didn't want it to happen again because...because I do want that moment again...among other things." I ramble out.

Justin's eyes widen as he looks at me but I can't decipher what emotions he's experiencing right now. His eyes give nothing away except maybe mild shock. "Among other things huh?"

I smile bashfully for him but he doesn't return the gesture.

"You're high Lilah." He decides with a shake of his head. "Try again when you're sober and we'll talk. I'll probably be an idiot for walking away from you now but that's what I'm going to do. I don't need to hear this right now." Justin admits before turning around to leave but I stop him yet again, determined to get my point across.

"No... Justin...I mean it! I do have feelings for you!"

I run in front of him to block his path, hoping he'll reconsider taking me seriously. Let me just say, I have no idea what's come over me.

Before I know it, one thing leads to another and the next thing I know I'm not only stopping him from leaving, but I'm also kissing him...our lips planted firmly against each other as I grip fistfuls of his shirt and he cups my cheeks in his palms, neither of us having any plans of stopping anytime soon...