14. Starting Over

Part 2

Later That Day

At Justin's Place

Somewhere in Rural NY...

It's been months since Delilah and I genuinely hung out as friends.

Every day that went by, she consumed my thoughts just a little bit more than the previous day.

And, there was nothing I could do about it.

Until now.

So I had this idea that I would invite Delilah over to my new place, since things haven't been the same between us ever since my encounter with Ethan and I moved out of Higher Heights dorms a few months ago.

I'm sort of getting back my old life, and I'm sort of not.

I've managed to stay out of the public's eye and out of the tabloids but I'm not sure how long that's going to last.

People will eventually know that I'm no longer living on campus and when that happens, the paps will most definitely come looking for me.

It doesn't help that I have an interview with the media on campus at the end of next week which is a big deal.

But all of that is unimportant to me right now.

When I signed up for this school experience, I had no idea what to expect.

My life was moving along just fine before Higher Heights. I was in the studio working with the artists signed to my label as well as other artists from other labels; I was helping out with charity; I was working on my clothing line with Trace; I made various appearances, did talk shows, radio interviews and even had a steady relationship with Jessica Biel.

I would have never guessed that one stupid slip up on my part on live television would have landed me here in the wastelands of education torture. But it did.

And while I cursed it to hell at the beginning, now, it's not so bad anymore.

It's not so bad anymore because of her...Delilah Marshall.

Rachel was right. Goddamn, Rachel was right? I'll never let her know that though.

But, Delilah is the main reason why I like it at Higher Heights now despite the drama that came with knowing her.

She made it worthwhile.

And even if I know why I stuck around, I'm still having a hard time figuring out why it came so easy for me to do.

After being apart for the last few months, I thought it was imperative that I replenished the tight bond of our friendship.

But, according to Delilah, what kinds of friends have our type of relationship? She's right...we're dysfunctional.

I mean, how can I possibly view her as only a friend and then plant a kiss on her like I'm craving her or something?

It doesn't make sense. Our friendship doesn't make sense. Delilah and I...we don't make sense.

And that's what's been driving me crazy. That's why she's been on my brain for the past few months to the point where I had to find a way to see her for an extended length of time so I could figure this whole thing out.

That's why she's here right now...sitting in the living room on the leather couch of the two story house I rented out in the rural areas of New York, because I changed my mind about living in an apartment for the rest of my stay here.

Even if I'm glad that we're off campus and away from the rest of Higher Heights' students and their curious eyes, somehow, this isn't exactly what I had in mind.

"And then Cindy is like, ‘why don't you help us plan the dance coming up next week since you and Justin did such a great job with the last one?' And I'm looking at her like she's out of her goddamn mind because I still don't do dances so that's why I never even bothered asking you or telling you about it since I decided that I wasn't going to do it anyway..." Delilah explains, giggling softly.

"Uh huh...yeah."  I mutter mindlessly, shifting on my feet as I continue to eye her.

She's sprawled out on the couch in her uniform with her luggage by her feet.

We walked in probably about an hour ago and the moment we did, she went right into the kitchen and straight for the alcohol cabinet.

Of course, I didn't stop her at first because I thought it was funny and I simply laughed.

I guess, somewhere between Delilah's ranting and raving about her exams and the fact that she was so stressed out and needed to release the pressure, she managed to drink about a quarter of the bottle of scotch I bought just yesterday.

So, I maybe should have stopped her, but, she looked like she really needed it. She needed to get away and while I'm cool with being her getaway, I had no idea the girl could drink like that.

Before I could even grab the bottle out of her grasp, she had already downed two more shots.

So I cut her off. And, she was angry with me, but I didn't care. She didn't stay angry for long though and stumbled into the living room plopping down on the couch haphazardly.

Which bring us to now, with me standing awkwardly, looking at her as she continues with her pointless stories about whoever pissed her off recently as she stares at me, her eyes glassy since she's partially intoxicated.

I'd laugh but, well, I'm not used to seeing Delilah like this and while I still think she's cute, her current state is making me kind of nervous.

"Justin? Justin! Are you listening to me?"

"What?" I snap out of my thoughts, my blues connecting to her questioning gray-browns. "Sorry Lilah." I sigh before placing down the bottle of scotch in my hand on a nearby table and removing my blazer.

I root off my tie and take a seat next to her on the couch, still studying her closely.

"Why don't you...relax and watch some television? I'll bring your things up to the guest bedroom and then I'll make something for us to eat." I suggest but she shakes her head in protest.

"No, stay with me please?" She pleads and I groan softly.

"I should have never let you drink." I mutter and she arches a brow at me.

"I'm not drunk." Delilah defends and I scoff.

"You're not sober either Lilah." I counter and she smiles but doesn't respond. "Ok, if I'm staying here with you what do you want to do? We have all the movie channels and pay per view. Do you want to rent a movie? We have tonight to ourselves to do whatever and tomorrow we'll head into Manhattan to gather some things for the party tomorrow night." I suggest.

"I don't want to watch television Justin." She voices stubbornly, resting back in the couch to get more comfortable.

My eyes travel over her tired features all the way down to where her hands are gripping fistfuls of her skirt that inches further and further up her thighs with each move she makes.

Swallowing harshly I look away about to stand but she suddenly grips my arm, tugging on it roughly.

"Relax Lilah." I warn her, pulling out of her hold.

"I know what I want to do." She decides and I nod, waiting for her to continue. "Let's talk."

"Talk? What about?" I ask.

"About what I promised you...about my past." She states.

"Look, I don't think now is a good time Lilah. You were drinking and..."

"Oh give it a rest Justin! I'm not drunk!" She snaps and I shut up, giving her a hard glare. There's no getting through to her when she's like this is there?

"Fine, I'm all ears then." I relent, getting more comfortable in my seat. I angle myself to face her with my hand lying over the top of the couch as I rest my back against the armrest. "So tell me, what's the whole mystery behind Delilah Marshall?" I smile brightly and she laughs along with me.

"Yeah, I am kind of a mystery aren't I? Well, that's all about to change." She pauses, rooting off her blazer and tossing it onto the floor. "Damn it's hot in here."

"No, that's the alcohol taking effect." I point out and she rolls her eyes at me, ignoring me.

"So anyway...let's start off with when I came to Higher Heights in my freshman year. I didn't tell you at first but, Ethan and I, we were serious to the point where we got engaged. Of course, I was ecstatic because I thought he loved me but, look how that turned out." Delilah sighs heavily and I frown. So Ethan was right about her being his ex fiancé. No shit. "Look, my past with Ethan is just that, the past. But, I don't think he's gotten over it and neither have I because we never did have any closure. But, our problems began soon after he made the basketball team. Like I said before, he changed for the worse not better. He was cocky, conceited and a plain out asshole. He let the popularity go to his head so much so that he totally disregarded the fact that he had a girlfriend or fiancé...me."

"He used to flirt a lot, and always had a group of girls around him, hanging on his every word. I was never a jealous girlfriend per say until rumors about him cheating started to surface. I think that was what sparked off a lot of our arguments. Me hearing about the rumors and asking him about them to which he got defensive and picked fights with me. In all of our drama, our dads still managed to remain friends because they had no idea about the turmoil we were experiencing in school since we were away from home. Ryan was around but, he never did like getting between Ethan and me. He had his reasons." Delilah decides and I smirk.

"I bet he did." I mumble bitterly and she glowers at me.

"Anyway..." She says, shaking her head at my displeased expression. "I was finally able to get proof that Ethan was cheating on me and when I did I totally lost it. I was hurt, angry and seeking revenge. So I did the stupid thing and decided that getting even was much better than waiting for karma to run its course. He cheated, I had proof, so I got back at him. I uh, cheated on him too and while I know two wrongs don't make a right and all that jazz, it made sense to me then and it felt good."

Delilah drifts when my eyes widen in shock, but I remain silent. I'm just a little thrown off here. The asshole cheated on her and she thought cheating on him to get back at him was the best route to take? She never pegged me as that type of person but then again, I don't know her that well do I? That was a stupid move on her part, I'll give her that. But, I guess I understand her reasoning behind it.

"That's not all though." She says in a weak voice, looking away from me in shame.

"Oh?" I feign shock. Like I didn't know that wasn't all. I mean really.

"I was so angry at him, I sort of sabotaged him. I tipped off the coach that he and his friends were taking steroids which are against the rules and got them kicked off the team for the rest of the season since they were tested and the steroids were found in their blood. Ethan was livid and he knew I was the one who sold him out because I was the only other person who knew. When we were arguing about it one night, I blurted out that I knew he was cheating on me or whatever and that I didn't want to marry a lying, cheating asshole. He tried to stop me when I decided to walk away from him and I sort of smacked him and told him to stay away from me. Then, I asked him how it felt to be cheated on and rooted out a picture of me and the guy I cheated on him with."

"I think that was my biggest mistake and regret. I should have never let him find out who it was. He um..." Trailing off, Delilah sniffles lightly and I'm just sitting there, staring at her blankly as this all sinks in. "Ethan was so angry with me for what I had done, he practically walked away from me and headed back to the dorms where he and his boys went after the guy and basically beat him to a pulp. The same guy ended up being hospitalized due to fractured ribs, a concussion and broken limbs. Ethan totally lost it on him and by the time he was pulled away, the guy was knocked unconscious. Of course, our parents got involved, headmaster Williams got involved and the police got involved and it was just utter chaos. Ethan's dad Mr. Landing was furious because when word of what happened got out to the press, it wasn't exactly the best image to have with his political status."

"Ethan and I never spoke again after that night and our parents sort of blamed each other for our problems. Mr. Landing said it was my dad's fault for raising a daughter like me who was a trouble maker, and my dad said it was Mr. Landing's fault for never being the father figure Ethan needed since he was too caught up in his career and was too busy for his son. Our parents had their dispute over Ethan and me falling out and things were never the same again. But, I thought it was over you know? I thought everything was said and done and we would just go our separate ways at Higher Heights. Ethan had to go to court but the guy never did press charges since it was rumored that Ethan's dad paid the dude to be quiet. He transferred schools when he was out of the hospital and I never even spoke to him again. I only used him to get back at Ethan so I didn't care, though I did feel guilty about what happened. But after all of that, I really thought things were over. I was so wrong."

"Apparently, Ethan still wasn't over what I had done even if he was the one who fucked up first. So, he figured he'd get me back yet again since I cost him his spot on the team for the rest of freshman year. At the end of semester freshman school dance, he aired a tape of the two of us...the two of us...um...being intimate with each other for the entire student body to see. I was actually outside with Sandra and Michelle when it happened. When we heard all the commotion going on in the gym, we went in to see what was happening and I nearly passed out from utter shock when I saw myself on the large screen mounted up on the wall. I think a part of me died inside that night at the dance from embarrassment and humiliation alone. Everyone was looking at me and judging me like I was some slut or something and a large portion of the video ended up playing before the headmaster and faculty were able to make it to the video room and stop the footage."

Inhaling deeply, Delilah passes her hands over her face as a few stray tears escape her.

I'm frozen solid in my seating position, not able to process or even digest what I just heard. What do I think or say to that? I knew her past wasn't pretty but I never imagined any of this. And, so far, she's proven everything Ethan spat at the mouth to be true. I'm not sure how I feel about that either.

"Lilah..." I say softly, but she cuts me off.

"I know how this all sounds Justin. I know. I messed up. Ethan and I both messed up and we were young and stupid. But...but you know, I got suspended, Ethan got suspended and so did Ryan since Ryan refused to communicate with the police, our parents and the headmaster. We paid for our wrongdoings but it never solved any of our problems. It's like everything was left up in air and..."

But I interrupt her, not wanting to know any more.

It's true when they say curiosity kills and be careful what you wish for. I'm wishing I didn't know any of this right now because my thoughts are running wild.

"It's ok, I really think you should stop now Lilah." I utter but she shakes her head frantically.

"No! You need to know Justin! You need to know that, that I'm sorry for getting you mixed up in all of this. That was never my intention. Ethan is just a huge jerk and he has no right pressuring you just because we're friends..."

"Lilah...Lilah!" I shout for her to shut up. "I get it ok!? Just, you need water...I'll get you water." I suggest, jumping up from my seat when I notice how dilated her eyes are getting.

I'm pretty sure the alcohol she consumed is now circulating in her blood stream which means she's going to knock out any minute.

"I don't want water!" She slurs lightly. "I want a redo. I want to take it all back." She whimpers, bowing her head and placing her hands over her face.

"You can't take it back Lilah." I voice gently. "You just need to get over it and move on."

I bite my lips as I stand in place feeling conflicted. I want to comfort her but at the same time I want to tell her how stupid she was for ever getting mixed up with Ethan in the first place.

It doesn't take long before the waterworks consume her and she starts sobbing lightly.

I take a step towards her but then stop, images of her and Ethan being intimate with each other flooding my mind. I shudder, the mere thought making me nauseous as I feel an all too familiar tug at my emotions and heart.

"Fuck." I whisper, looking away from Lilah.

Shit, this is bad. This is really...I want to kill him. I want to kill the bastard for hurting her like this.

"I'll get you some water Lilah. I'll be right back. Don't move ok? We're going to get you sober." I assure her before turning to head into the kitchen.

Oh my way there, I catch the last statement she manages to choke out through her sobs which practically makes my blood boil and head spin.

"I was so stupid. I felt used and betrayed. I mean, I didn't even know Ethan videotaped us. After seeing that tape, it made me wonder just how many times he did that to me and, and if he ever even loved me at all...."

That's the last thing I hear before I'm out of earshot and in the kitchen rummaging through the cabinets for a glass.

As I grab a bottle of water out of the fridge, I inhale deeply, trying to calm my temper when my hands begin trembling slightly.

I swear, if the asshole was here right now I'd probably snap his neck for doing that shit to Delilah. Nobody deserves that.

I place the items in my hands down on the counter and I lean against my island, Delilah's muffled cries filling my eardrums as I swipe my palms over my face and through my hair in frustration.

"Shit." I gasp, feeling a slight burn in my chest as my heartbeat speeds up and my adrenaline kicks in. That was the last straw. What Delilah said was all I needed to hear to know how to deal with Ethan. "That bitch is going down, no questions asked."