11.  Can't Hide From The Past

Part 2

Later That Day

Manhattan, New York

"It's my turn." I verbalize.

"Shoot." Delilah says enthusiastically, bouncing up and down in her seat.

"Truth or dare?" I inquire and she grimaces.

"Uh Justin, I thought we were playing ‘I spy?'" She asks flabbergasted and I chuckle softly.

"I just switched things up a bit. Last game was getting old." I point out and Delilah glares at me, not convinced.

"Uh huh..." She says flatly and I give her an innocent smile. We're so childish sometimes. But, it's fun and I like it. "Well..." She pauses, looking around. "Truth; but hold that thought, I'll be right back. I need to use the bathroom."

With that said, she jumps up from her seat and takes off to the ladies room leaving me alone and amused.

I rest back in my seat, hugging my long black jacket to my chest since it's cold out.

We're actually in the heart of Manhattan at Starbucks café no less hanging out after the movies.

Today has been a very fun filled, ‘we could get in a shitload of trouble if anyone found out we left campus', kind of day. And I'm loving every minute of it.

After the movie, Delilah and I decided that we needed to warm up and figured Starbucks was a good bet since their coffees are to die for.

I love winter, but there are times when I'd give anything for some warmth. It doesn't help that the weather up here has been kind of peculiar this season. But, Manhattan is always cold.

As I scan my surroundings, I pull down my black beanie over my head feeling a little paranoid of being spotted. I know for a fact, if Mike knew I was out right now without protection he'd have my head.

Not to mention that even if Delilah agreed to do this with me, I'd take the blame if we ever got caught and she got in trouble.

But, I really needed this though and I know she did too. We both needed to get away, her more than me. I don't know that much about her yet, but, I can see that Delilah is too complacent with playing it safe. Plus, I'm starting to realize that Higher Heights isn't the best environment for her based on whatever history she has there.

I know what Ryan said but, I'm not going to ask. I'm not going to ask about any of them. I have a feeling that I won't like hearing about Delilah from anyone else but her. So, I'm being patient and waiting but there's only so much waiting I can do.

It doesn't help that I miss my old life with my family and friends. If Delilah's the one person I'm going to trust at Higher Heights and open up to, I think she should do the same with me. It's only fair.

I quickly straighten my posture when I notice her heading back to our table at the far back in the corner of the café. It's as private as we're going to get. Luckily, there aren't many people around so that's a plus.

When she reclaims her seat, I look at her silently for a moment fidgeting in her seat before I take a sip of my coffee.

"You look really different when you're not wearing your uniform." I point out, studying the thick beige jacket she's wearing which matches her leggings, boots and top. She has a cute matching hat on, to shield her head from the cold as well.

"Really? Because you look the same to me either way." Delilah giggles and I smile, never breaking eye contact with her.

"Uh huh. So, you chose truth." I state, reminding her of our game which really isn't much of a game here.

I have a goal, and this is the best way I can get her interested in it.

"Oh yeah I did. Hit me with your best question." She beams, but somehow I have a feeling that when I tell her my question she won't be smiling anymore.

"Ok..." I pretend to think for a moment before saying what's on my mind. "Tell me about yourself...everything you're willing to share and be truthful about it." I voice and her smooth face instantly creases into a deep frown.

"That's not a question Justin." She mutters softly, breaking our gaze.

Looking down at the hot liquid in my cup I sigh, biting my lip slightly. "Fine, would you please tell me about yourself?" I ask again calmly, hopefully.

"There's not much to know..." Delilah begins but she drifts when I lift my head and I glare at her.

"Bullshit Lilah. You have no reason to lie to me. I don't get why you're so hesitant. I'm just a guy right? A guy who's your friend and who cares. Call me crazy, but, it's hard to be someone's friend if you don't know much about them." I explain and she nods in understanding but remains mute, her frame now visibly tense.

It takes her a while to gather her thoughts and I'm very much aware that this isn't some stupid game we're playing here. This is serious.

My sole intention was to make her comfortable enough to share some piece of herself with me; but now, I'm rethinking that decision. I really don't want her to feel like I'm demanding or controlling or forcing her...

"But you're not just some guy Justin." Delilah suddenly blurts out and my interest instantly skyrockets. Well, this is new considering that's how she's treated me since we met. "You're a celebrity!  And I know that. I do. It's crazy, but sometimes I forget that you have this whole other life outside of Higher Heights. But then, I remember and I'm brought back down to reality and realize I'm just fooling myself. You have no reason to even be sitting here with me right now Justin but you are, by choice. I don't know what to really make of that...I guess it's kind of weird for me and I'm afraid that if you get to know me, like really know me, we won't be friends anymore because you maybe wouldn't want to be mixed up with the likes of me."  She says with a pout. "It's kind of lame and a little annoying for me since I didn't even want us to be friends in the first place."

I laugh at that but quickly sober up.

I'm almost tempted to stretch across the table and smack that pout off her face.

I hate it when she cuts herself down like this. Low self-confidence and low self-esteem are not attractive. She never pegged me as that type of person before until I started noticing the vulnerable girl hiding behind all of her smart, witty and sometimes curt remarks.

"You've got to give me a little more credit than that Lilah. I'm not perfect either. Hell, no one's perfect. You need to stop acting like I'll run away screaming for the hills if I learn bad things about you, if I know your flaws. I'm still here sweetie and I've seen for myself that you're not flawless. But, what makes any type of relationship successful is being able to accept someone with their flaws. You should try me. You might be pleasantly surprised." I grin for Delilah and she blushes massively, bowing her head to stare at her untouched latté.

"This is one of those times when you appear to be wise beyond your years Justin and I know it's because you've experienced a lot in your life. Things I could only imagine." Delilah gushes.

"Comes with the path and career I chose but I don't regret it. It's one of the best decisions I've made. But I will admit I've fucked up along the way...big time. That's what makes us who we are. Being able to move on from our mistakes and better ourselves by learning from them." I explain. "You should try it sometime." I quip and she shoots me a warning glare which I totally ignore because she's smiling.

"Ok, I guess I do owe it to you to maybe try this opening up thing." Delilah decides and I shake my head in agreement.

"You owe it to yourself to try." I correct her and she nods, taking in a deep breath.

"Well in that case, I might as well tell you my life history in a nutshell. Maybe then you'll stop harassing me so much." She says smartly and I curve a brow.

"Oh? What makes you think so?" I ask.

"Because, there'll be no more mystery to me anymore and you won't have to try and figure me out. I know you guys like the chase more than anything, even if this isn't a relationship deal."

"Technically, this is a relationship."

"What?" Delilah snaps in shock and I laugh lightly.

"Friendships are relationships too." I clarify and she mouth's an ‘oh.'

"Of course. I knew that." She waves me off.

"Sure you did." I whisper, not believing her. "Just admit it." I tease.

"Admit what?" She gasps, her eyes widening slightly.

"That you think I'm hot and you want me." I muse, wriggling my brows suggestively for her.

I hate tension and there's clearly some tension between us.

I will do and say whatever I can to lighten the atmosphere.

"Ok Justin, we're swaying away from the topic here. My life history remember?" Delilah voices, brushing off my last statement and I hold my tongue, resting back in my seat and folding my arms across my chest as I get more comfortable.

I still think she's a cutie when she's all embarrassed and uneasy around me. It's fun making her uncomfortable but I have to give her props. She plays it off effortlessly.

"I'm all ears." I urge her to continue, my heartbeat suddenly picking up as I wait in anticipation for the next statement that leaves her lips.

"This is so weird for me because I don't talk about myself or my past or family for that matter. It's just who I am, but, I guess you're an exception. I should uh, maybe start off by telling you that your roommate Ryan is uh...um my cousin on my dad's side." Delilah swallows harshly when my eyes widen in disbelief but I think I'm doing a really good job of not giving my feelings or thoughts away. I'm not about to interrupt her now when she's willing to share.

Still, Ryan's her cousin? Un-fucking-believable. I did not see that one coming. I guess it makes sense though.

"Please...continue." I force out as her gray-browns search my blues closely.

She's maybe trying to read me, probably wondering what's going through my mind. As of now, my mind is completely blank. I'm just going to be a sponge and absorb whatever else she has to say.

"Right, well my dad's name is Howard Marshall and my mom is Linda Marshall. My dad's a white British man from England and my Mom's an African American from Boston. I was born in England but raised in Boston. Both my parents are into real estate so they're doing pretty well for themselves. My older brother Leon is attending Yale on his last year actually. He worked for two years with dad in the business before he went off to school. Um and then there's me." She shrugs and I smile at that.

"So let's see, I grew up in a regular household, regular family...nothing spectacular. I'm the artist, the dreamer in the family. My dad's brother, uncle Lawrence is Ryan's dad. Ryan is English as well but you'd never guess that because he grew up in America just like I did. His mom and dad are in England though. Ryan didn't live with us at first; he lived with his aunt on his mom's side but I always saw him growing up because we were all in Boston up until high school. My dad thought it was a good idea for Ryan and me to attend one of the top high schools in New York, so he moved the family out to New York for our high school years. At that time, my dad got the idea from a client he was working on selling a house to. That client, ironically enough, ended up being Ethan's dad, Mr. Landing. I think, that's how it all started."

There's a pause as Delilah finally takes a sip of her drink before she clears her throat.

This is really hard for her. I'm starting to wonder, just how many people know everything there is to know about her?

"Mr. Landing is in politics and is a very influential man. Having him as a client was a plus. He always spoke highly of my dad so my dad received a lot of positive feedback on his real estate business. It wasn't long before my dad and Ethan's dad built a friendship. Ryan didn't have many friends at the time since he usually kept to himself, so Mr. Landing thought it was a good idea to introduce Ryan to his son Ethan since they were about the same age and into basketball. It doesn't take rocket science to figure out that they hit it off really well. Ryan was hanging with Ethan long before I got to really meet him. They made the basketball team in high school and formed their own little clique of friends. They were the jocks even back in high school and I was the smart one, the odd girl who was deep and creative and breathed everything art related. I didn't have many friends and got picked on because of that since people thought I was weird. Ryan and I were close but, he wasn't my brother you know? We got along great but also fought a lot too."

"I think, on our second year of high school was when I really got to meet Ethan. He started coming around the house more often since he and Ryan grew to be best friends and one thing led to another and the next thing I knew, I was officially inducted into their circle of friends. We all hit it off and hung out a lot. I ended up spending a lot of time around the cheerleaders since they were always with the jocks. I was like the odd one out of the group but because Ryan and Ethan said I was cool, I was cool." Delilah divulges, laughing bitterly at the memory.

Wow, so, this is all starting to make sense to me now, but for some reason, I'm a little worried of what else is to come in this story.

"Right, so fast forwarding through our high school experience, we became a really tight group of friends and when we were all on our senior year leading up to graduation, Ethan and Ryan both were eligible to receive basketball scholarships. I think our senior year was what turned everything around. Ethan knew he was finishing high school and his dream was always to play for the NBA. When his dad spoke about sending him to the best school in the country, Higher Heights, where he was guaranteed to get drafted if he played for the school team, there was no question in Ethan's mind that he would make it. I guess, the whole basketball dream started getting to his head."

"Because Ethan and Ryan were so close, Ryan decided that Higher Heights would be his school of choice as well. Ryan's extremely intelligent so it was an easy acceptance for him even without the basketball scholarship. My parents only wanted the best for me and Higher Heights has a great art program. They figured hey, my best friend and cousin were going there so I might as well go too and I agreed at the time thinking it was a great idea. At least, our group wouldn't be separated you know?"

"Let me guess, this is where it gets complicated." I finally speak up, and Delilah looks at me with big glassy eyes, nodding timidly as she takes another large gulp of her drink.

"In senior year, Ethan and I we...we started liking each other a little more than friends and figured hey, we were already friends, it wasn't going to change anything right? We were just taking our relationship to the next level and if things didn't work out we could still be friends. Ryan always said it was a bad idea since we already invested so much into our friendship but we didn't  listen to him and went out a few times until one day, Ethan asked me to be his girlfriend at one of their huge basketball games and stupid as I was I said yes. He asked me during halftime by having the question "Delilah would you be my girlfriend and date to senior prom at the end of the year?" flash across the large teleprompter screen in the gym. It was cheesy but I thought it was the sweetest thing and people made a big deal of it weeks after we became official. That's a big reason why I don't do basketball games...because, every time I'm in a gym, these stupid memories come up and I try for them not to. But anyway, that's neither here nor there."

"This is a long-ass autobiography." I chuckle weakly, trying to lighten Delilah's mood. She's practically on the verge of tears now and I'm tempted to ask her to stop but I'm so fucking curious as to what went wrong with their group I can't bring myself to stop her.

"It really is, but it's good to let it out." She agrees and I nod.

"Ok, so, you all got together, went to the prom, became high school sweethearts, all that jazz. Great." I blurt out, suddenly feeling disgusted at the entire concept.

What Delilah saw in Ethan I will never know, but that's beside the point. The guy's a jerk now. He's clearly not the guy he used to be anymore or the guy she fell in love with. Well, she hasn't exactly mentioned the word love so...I'm guessing here...

"So, what exactly happened when you all got accepted into Higher Heights and started going there? You said it was freshman year right? What went so wrong that you all are practically enemies now? I know you said Ethan changed for the worst because he became ridiculously popular or whatever, but that can't be all it is Lilah. I know there's a lot more to it because whatever happened between you all changed you too. It made you into the person you are today and as much as I think you're a great person when you're not hiding in your shell, you clearly don't think the same.  It would really help me to know especially whenever Ethan decides to give me his shit." I mutter, the mere thought of the jackass hurting Lilah in any way enraging me for some reason.

"You're right Justin. There's much more to it. And, even Ryan suggested that I talked to you about it. While this is going to be super hard for me, he's right. I owe you that." Delilah cringes in thought, biting her lower lip as she prepares herself to spill her guts and I lean forward in my seat, all ears.

She inhales deeply, parting her lips to speak but then suddenly something happens.

Frowning, my eyes frantically search our surroundings when I hear a loud buzz before my ringtone starts blaring.

"Shit..." I growl, resting back in my seat to root out my phone from my pocket and silence it. I glare at the caller Id, feeling my heart leap up to my throat when Jess's name flashes on the screen. "Fuck...uh..." I ignore the call, sending it to voicemail before I place the cell phone down on the table, hoping Jess will get the picture. I wipe at my face nervously then tug on my beanie idly. "I'm so sorry Lilah. Please continue." I coax her when I notice that she's glaring at me oddly.

"Ok, well around the time Ethan and I started having our problems..." But Delilah is easily interrupted when my phone starts buzzing again.

"Aw come on!" I hiss softly, not wanting to draw any attention to us since we're in public.

"Maybe...maybe you should get that." Delilah voices and no, no don't say that!

"No. It's fine; I'll just call back later." I ignore the call again, putting the device on vibrate, suddenly wishing that professor Scotland still had possession of my phone.

This is not happening right now.

Delilah glowers at me, a light smile tugging at her lips before she rests back in her seat with a knowing look on her face.

"I'm sorry Lilah. Please continue..." I plead but she's not granted a chance to even respond when my phone goes off for a third time.

I glare at the vibrating phone trying to figure out for the life of me why fate's fucking with me like this.

"I really think you should get that Justin. Whoever's calling, it might be important. I'm not going anywhere." Delilah gives me a look that tells me she's not going to continue with her story until I take this call. God damn it.

Grabbing my phone, I hit the talk button, wondering if I should excuse myself to take the call or stay right where I'm seated. I decide on the latter and hesitantly say ‘hello' into the line.

"Jess?" I say softly, hearing a lot of noise in her background.

"Justin!? Oh my god, Justin I finally found you!" She giggles into the line and I frown in perplexity.

"Uh, yeah..."

"Oh my gosh, I know this is super late...like weeks late but happy belated birthday! I'm so sorry I missed it. I tried getting you but it's like you're on another planet in that school." She drawls and I press the phone to my ear, trying to hear her clearly since her background is so loud.

"I can barely hear you Jess, but thanks. It's cool. Trace and Rach told me you sent your wishes." I voice.

It's true, they kept telling me how Jess missed me or whatever and kept asking them about me. I sort of didn't take them seriously then since I was more focused on Delilah but now, actually hearing Jess's voice...I feel conflicted.

"That's good. So are you good? I hope you're good! I hope I see you for summer. I miss you Just. I miss us..." She slurs, trailing off when some people call out to her in her background.

"Uh Jess? Can we talk about this another time? You sound...busy." I swallow harshly, taking the chance of looking up at Delilah. I'm a little thrown off when I see her in her phone texting away.

"No, now is good. Trace told me you had your cell! I'm sorry I didn't call sooner but I just miss you so much..." Jess hiccups right into the line and when I hear what sounds like a DJ in the background talking into a microphone, I start to realize what's going on here. She's out clubbing.

"Jess, are you drunk?" I ask suspiciously and she giggles wildly, confirming my suspicion. "Damn it Jessica." I groan angrily. She knows I hate it when she goes overboard. I mean, she's not a drinker so it doesn't take that much to make her intoxicated. Plus, I'm not even there with her. "You know I hate when you get like this. Who are you even with?" I question.

"Friends." She mumbles flatly. "But I'm ok, I'm ok."

She's so not ok.

"Uh huh." I utter, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"I have to go now J, but we'll talk ok? I'll call you again soon. Hurry home Justin. I miss you."

"You too." I say quietly, not really wanting to actually voice that I miss her too even if I'm starting to realize that I kind of do.

"I love you J. Take care. Bye..."

"Ok, you take care of yourself Jess and ease up on the drinking. Bye."

I quickly end the call, switching my phone off entirely. I glare at it in my hands, mentally scolding myself that I didn't tell her I loved her back when I still do. Or at least, I think I do. That was just too awkward for me.

"Drunk dialing is never pretty." Delilah speaks up, shocking me back to reality.

"What?" I ask, looking up at her. "Oh yeah...uh...right that was Jessica...my uh..." 

What is Jess to me now? What are we really? I'm not even sure that I know anymore. It's kind of starting to bother me.    

Delilah laughs loudly, shaking her head at me before she stands and starts gathering her things to leave.

I smile bashfully for her, shrugging in the process. "What are you doing?" I inquire when I realize that she's pushing her chair in.

"We have to go. Sandra just text messaged me. Surprise inspections were issued and we have about two hours before our head boys and girls start making their rounds in the dorms." Delilah explains and I quickly jump to my feet.

"Shit..." I mutter.

"Yeah, it's dark out now; we've been out a while. We should maybe head back. If we leave now, we'll make it back in time." Delilah nods and I look at her closely, hesitantly agreeing with her.

I'm trying to figure out what she's thinking or even feeling right now. Her expressions give nothing away but I know Delilah enough to know that she's a master at hiding her true feelings. She was just pouring her heart to me a while ago and that wasn't an easy task for her.

If we hadn't been interrupted, I wonder if she would have willingly continued and told me everything or stopped mid-way.

I guess we'll never know because we've gathered our things and are now heading to the exit of Starbucks to catch our ride back to campus.

"Listen, Lilah, I'm sorry we were interrupted." I finally speak up as we carefully cross the street to head over to the ride I called from campus to take us out for the day.

"It's ok. Don't worry about it Justin." She dismisses me, patting my shoulder gently while giving me a light smile. "We'll just continue where we left off another time. No worries." She beams, and I glare at her, taking in a deep breath, the cold air filling my lungs.

"Sure, another time." I sigh, opening the door of the ride so she can get in first before I follow in after her.

I don't know why, but, I suddenly feel disappointed to the point where I'm basically pouting like some little kid.

I was really looking forward to Delilah shedding some more light on why she is the way she is. There's only so much I can learn just from observing her alone.

I think, the reason why I'm feeling a little downhearted and confused right now is because of the call I just got from my supposed drunk ex. It's that and the fact that the one person at Higher Heights, whom I actually feel comfortable enough to be myself with, still remains a mystery to me.