I sit uncomfortably as Justin paces up and down the hall talking to Trace. I tried to listen to his conversation but I could only hear bits and pieces, essentially making me even more nervous than I already am. I can tell only one thing about this phone call, there is no yelling. I’m not sure whether that is a good thing or not but I do know that if it was me, I would have never picked up that phone. I’m not about to tell him who he can or cannot see, but how about my feelings? Or his life?

After I told him last night that Trace stopped by he has said nothing about it. Not one damn thing. He has been making phone calls all morning to a series of people who might know who spilled the news of the baby, but as soon as his voiced became hushed and he started pacing, I knew who he was talking to.

Justin comes back into the bedroom and I pretend that I haven’t been waiting on pins and needles to hear what the hell is going on. I scramble from my position at the doorway to jumping on the bed, grabbing a magazine and pretending to read it as he looks up at me, “Hey.”

“Hi,” I say anxiously.  

He grabs a beer and sits down next to me, rubbing my thigh as he looks over my shoulder to read the magazine. I wait a minute for him to say something and when he doesn’t, I sigh in frustration and move to face him, “Well?”

He gives me a confused face, “Well what?”

I try to dodge the question I was going to ask in favor of one I know he would have mentioned had he heard anything, “Do you know who told about the miscarriage?”

It’s not like it’s going to make much of a difference. It’d not going to change what has already happened or undo any of the pain I’ve endured but we really don’t need people like that in our life.

Justin shakes his head, “Not yet. Don’t worry, they’ll find out and kill the person.”

I try to smile and wait for him to continue but he doesn’t, “So anything else exciting?”

“No.”

I bite my lower lip until it hurts, “Okay I have to know.”

“What?” he asks.

“What do you mean what? You just got off the phone with Trace.”

He frowns at me, “How did you know that?”

Ugh, “I may have heard who you were talking to.”

“May have?” he says, a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.

“Okay, so I may have been listening to your conversation but only because I am a little worried about you. Is that a crime?” I ask innocently.

He grins, “I knew you were listening, I could see your shadow in the hallway.”

I throw my hands up in the air in defeat, falling back onto the bed. Justin starts to crack up, kissing my face as he settles onto my chest, “He’s coming over later to talk to me.”

“You’re going to trust him again after everything he’s done to you?” I ask.

“I’m willing to give him one more try. I know the Trace I used to know is buried underneath all the shit. It’s just a matter of waiting for him to find himself.”

I nod, running my hand down his back slowly, “If that’s what you want.”

Justin takes my hand, “I want you to be there when I talk to him.”

I chuckle from a sheer lack of any other way to express my frustration, “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea. I’m not his favorite person on earth.”

“If he can’t be nice to you he doesn’t belong in my house,” he states.

“Fine.”

He kisses the side of my cheek and puts his face in the crook of my neck, my biggest weakness, “Thank you.”

________________________________________________________________________

Beth sits at the dinner table picking at the food on her plate. The tension in the room is about as high as it could possibly be as we wait for Trace. The anticipation for a huge fight or forgiveness hangs in the air, killing any sort of appetite we might have had. Suddenly the doorbell rings, causing her to jump slightly. I touch her shoulder as I stand and walk to the door, opening it and greeting Trace, “Hey.”

He smiles and nods at me, “Hi.”

I move aside and he comes into the house with me, following me into the living room. Beth has already made herself comfortable on the couch and tries her best to smile as Trace comes in, although I know it’s forced. Trace sits across from Beth and I sit beside her, holding her hand in an effort to be supportive and let her know she comes first.

“Listen, I just came to apologize to the both of you for everything I did and didn’t do during the tour.”

Beth looks wary of him, “What made you change your mind?”

Trace looks from me to her, “I just realized that my shit lost my best friend. I refuse to let a powder get between a friendship that has been in existence more than twenty years.”

I smile and nod, “We did have a pretty great thing going didn’t we?”

Trace nods, “Yeah we did. I want you two to know that I have been clean for the last few months. I’m try to get my act together and clean up my life. And get my best friend back,” he adds quickly.

He looks like a lost puppy that is begging for a home and someone to pet him, “You have somewhere to stay?” I ask.

Beth stiffens like she’s not happy as to where this conversation is leading. Trace brightens up, “Not yet. I just wanted to stop in and get everything off my chest.”

I sigh silently, “Well if you want you can stay in the in-law suite.”

Beth bites the inside of her cheek and I pretend not to fear her wrath later. Trace stands up and leans over giving me a half hug, “Thanks so much man.”

I nod and put my hand on the side of her cheek but she doesn’t snuggle into it like she normally does, “Come on, I’ll show you the room and grab some blankets for the bed.”

________________________________________________________________________

Three seconds of an apology and he has already moved in. I sit on the couch silently, trying to figure out what the hell went wrong when I was sitting in the room. Guys. Ugh.

Another knock at the door makes me roll my eyes. Gee I wonder if his whole family is going to show up and move right in with us. I open the door and I immediately let a shriek of joy emit from my throat like I used to when I was younger. I wrap my arms around the figure in the door and hold on tight.  

“Okay, okay. Try not to strangle me,” Gia kids.

I let go of my choke hold on her and take a step back, basking in her energy, “I missed you.”

Gia smiles and gives me another hug, “I missed you too. The good news is that now that you are moving up in the corporate world, I get to take your job which in turn means you’ll never have to miss me again. In fact, you’ll be begging me to leave after a week.”

“Pshh, I will not. I can’t believe you’re here. I thought you weren’t supposed to start until sometime next week?”

Gia puts her bags on the floor, “I was but Derek had to leave early to learn how to set up certain new elements for the stage show for Christina and it requires a few days of training before you can do it to code. So here I am.”

“Good, because I need backup.”

“You want me to kick his scrawny ass for you?”

I smile, “No, I have been invaded.”

Before I can say anything else, Justin emerges with Trace in tow laughing over something incredibly stupid I’m sure. They stop dead in their tracks when they see Gia and a look if understanding crosses her face.

“Gia,” Justin stutters.

“Hey loser.”  

I smirk as he looks from me to her, “I thought you weren’t coming until next week?”

“Long story but the abridged version is that I’m here now.”

“Well I just gave your room to Trace for the night.”

I interrupt him before he can go any further, “That’s okay, we can spend the night in one of the other bedrooms.”

“We?” he asks, becoming annoyed.

“Well it is her first night here and we haven’t seen each other in a while so I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to catch up, talk about her wedding, stuff like that.”

“Couldn’t you guys do that tomorrow?” he asks, trying to throw me a glance of “don’t do this” but I pretend not to notice.

“No, were girls. We never get too old for sleepovers,” Gia quips.

Justin pleads with me silently before relenting, “Fine, go ahead and pick a bedroom. Have fun, pillow fight in your underwear, practice kissing each other. You do your thing.”

I roll my eyes at his annoyed tone, “Come on Gia, I’ll show you the upstairs.”

Justin flips the TV on and Trace sits down, not really sure what the hell is going on but looks like he has a sneaking suspicion that it might be because of him. Maybe not all of his brain cells are dead after all.

________________________________________________________________________

Gia and I talked for hours upon hours in the bedroom down the hall from the master bedroom until Gia finally passed out. It is not that easy for me unfortunately. I glance at the clock that reads three forty on in the morning. I just can’t seem to sleep without his body pressed up against mine. No breathing rhythm to lull me to sleep and no extra warmth wrapped around me. I finally decide to go get something to drink from the fridge before beginning my quest for some rest once more.

I make my way down the stairs, tiptoeing in an effort to let everyone else sleep. I go into the kitchen and am immediately greeted by the sight of Trace sitting down at the table by himself, having a drink himself.   

“Hey,” he says when he sees me standing in the doorway.

I recover from my surprise quickly, “What are you doing up?”

“I couldn’t sleep. Looks like you’re in a similar position.”

“Kind of,” I mutter.

Trace stands up and goes over to the stove, pouring some milk from a sauce pot on the stove into a mug and adding coco, handing it to me, “It’ll help you sleep.”

I take the mug and rub my cold hands against it, warming them, “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.”

He pulls out a chair next to him and beckons me to sit down. I cautiously walk over and take a seat.

“You are mad at him over me aren’t you?” he asks bluntly.

I take a deep breathe before answering, “Yes.”

“He wasn’t doing it to hurt you.”

“I know.”

Trace licks his lips, “He really loves you.”

“I know that too,” I respond.

“I’m really sorry for what I said to you in the trailer the last time I saw you. I don’t want you to think that I hate you or would try to come between you two.”

“If you don’t hate me why did you say it?”

Trace smiles, “Why did Lynn treat you the way she did? Why did Cameron hate you so much? We all wanted to be number one in his life and you won without even so much as spending more than a few months with him. We were all angry. Now we have come to realize that we weren’t always going to be his number one. Well, all except for Cameron. I’m pretty sure she’s still fuming.”

“I guess we can’t all get our way,” I murmur.

“That’s life.”

“Life screws us all at one time or another.”

Trace nods. “Yeah it does. Just don’t be mad at Justin. He loves you so much that when you said you weren’t shacking up with him tonight he spent the whole night going on and on about every smile or dimple he loved, the way your hair constantly falls in your face and the way you look in his clothes. I thought I was going to be sick,” he jokes.  

I smile a little, “I suppose it would.”

“Look, the bottom line is that I want us all to be friends. If Justin loves you that much I know we could get along.”

“You will just have to wait until I can trust you in order for us all to be comfortable around each other.”

Trace nods, “I understand that. I can wait.”

I push my chair back to stand up, picking up my hot chocolate, “Thanks for the drink.”

“Night,” he responds, putting the carton of milk away and leaving the kitchen.

I make my way back up the stairs and open the door silently, climbing into bed and wrapping my arms around Justin before finally falling asleep.