I sit at table in the restaurant thinking over the conversation I had with my mother earlier.

 Flashback- 

I bite my fingernail as the phone rings. I pray to God that she doesn’t pick up.

“Hello?”

Damn, “Hi mom.”

Mom sighs as I hear dishes hitting the sink, “Hi honey, good to hear from you.”

“I can’t tell you how good it is to hear you voice. I really miss you,” I say, letting my nerves be soothed by her voice.

“I miss you too sweetheart. How is work going?”

I immediately get a surging headache. It’s still one of those things Justin refuses to do or say anything about it, “It could be going better.”

“Well honey you could always work for someone else. The guy you’re working for isn’t exactly the nicest person you have ever worked for. I mean I know I let Sam go with him to see you but I didn’t exactly like the idea.”

I wince, “Well mom, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about…”

“You want Sam to come see you again?”

“No… well yes I want him and you to come. See, I was wondering if maybe you wanted maybe to come to New York and have dinner?”

I can tell my mom has stopped moving by the sound of nothing in the background, “You want to drive to New York so we can have dinner? What are you not telling me?”

“Well, you see, Justin and I are kind of-”

“Dating,” she says simply.

“You say the magazines I guess.”

“I did but after Sam came home and wouldn’t talk about him and now you calling, I can put two and two together.”

Sam is too damn smart. I never told him not to tell mom, he just instinctually knew I hadn’t told her yet, “Were kind of serious mom.”

“I have already met him,” my mom points out.

“But you haven’t met his parents.”

There is silence on the other line for a moment, “So you are serious.”

“Yeah, we are. I was kind of hoping you and daddy could come.”

“Oh honey you know I can ask him but that doesn’t mean he’ll come. You know he loves you but I think everything is still too painful for him.”

“Sarah’s death was painful for everyone mom, but we all have had to move on. Why can’t he just do this one thing for me?” I ask rhetorically, knowing this has nothing to do with my mother and asking her is pointless.

“I’ll call him sweetheart alright? That’s the best I can do.”

 End of flashback- 

My mom called back later to say she would come but daddy was going to have to miss it. Big surprise. A male voice interrupts my thoughts, “Long time no see.”

I smile as Jake slides into the chair across from me, “Hey.”

He grins and leans over, giving me a quick hug, “Hey yourself. So how is life going?”

I finger the silverware lightly, “I can’t complain yet.”

“You and Justin are doing well from the reports in the media. I’m really happy for you,” he says genuinely.

I shudder as he mentions the media. They are the last people I need commenting on our relationship, “I think we are trying to do well. It’s a struggle sometimes, but I guess those are the things you work hardest for.”

Jake laughs lightly, “You were always older than your years.”

“Certain things in life can cause you to grow up fast.”

Jake pushes his food around his plate that were just set in front of us, “I am sorry about the way things turned out between us.”

“Are you taking the blame?” I ask curiously.

Jake looks up from his fish to me, “Yes, I am.”

I take a bite of my food, “Thanks.”

“Don’t thank me, you deserve an apology. I really am sorry, we could have been good together.”

I ponder the comment for a minute, “Maybe everything is meant to be. What I have with Justin is something I have never experienced in my life. We just connect. I’m really happy.”

“Well that’s the important thing. I want you to be happy.”

“Thanks for the sentiment. I hope you’re happy to.”

Jake nods, “I’m getting there.”

“I hope everything turns out well for you. Of course touring with Pink Floyd is bound to open doors.”

Jake laughs, “It helps. How much can you eat?” he asks questioningly as I continue to shovel food in my mouth.

I try to smile and swallow at the same time, “Both Justin’s and my parents are meeting for the first time over dinner and I know I’ll be too nervous to eat so I’m trying to be as full as possible before they get here.”

“Good luck with that. How are you with Lynn?”

I smirk and raise my eyebrows, “I’m fine with Lynn. It’s how Lynn feels about me that’s the problem. She hates me.”

“Ouch. Are you sure you’re not just jumping to conclusions?”

“No, she made her opinion of me impeccably clear. She really does hate me.”

“It’s her loss. A lot of mothers would be happy to have you dating their son.”

I put my fork down and shrug, “I think she feels like I might rub off on him. Like I might still be suicidal and mentally unstable even though she doesn’t voice it.”

“Don’t worry about it, all that matters is you and Justin. After all, it’s your life and his.”

“I just have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that this is a huge mistake. I can’t seem to shake it.”

“I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you. This was really nice, maybe we can do it again sometime.”

I nod, “Yeah, it was nice. I guess when we get a free moment we will have to do it again.”

“Absolutely,” Jake says with a smile.

________________________________________________________________________

It took days of begging and pleading to get my mother to agree to have dinner with Beth and her mom. I mean I had to get on my hands and knees to make this happen. She finally relented and sits impatiently with me in the living room, waiting for Beth to appear with her mother.

Mom raps her fingernails on the coffee table, “Is she going to make a grad entrance anytime soon?”

I sigh in frustration, “Mom, she has another five minutes until she’s on time and could you please be civil towards the two of them?”

Mom rolls her eyes, “I can’t make any promises.”

I pray that everything goes well as Beth walks through the door with Nora. I hop up and greet the two of them, “Hi Mrs. Addison, how are you?”

Nora tries to smile as she takes my hand, “Fine thank you.”

“And this is my mother,” I say gesturing towards her as she stand up.

My mom takes one look from head to toe of Nora and barely touches her outstretched hand, “Lovely to meet you.”

That has to be one of the most insincere things she has ever said. Beth reads her like a book, “Mrs. Harless.”

“Bethany,” my mother says simply.

We stand there for a minute in an awkward silence before I interrupt, “Why don’t we all go into the other room and have something to eat? We have some lemon chicken and salad ready.”

Mom brushes past us and stalks off to the dining room as I offer Beth and Nora a apologetic smile for her behavior. Beth looks angry but sucks it up as she takes her mother’s arm and leads her to eat. We all sit down and serve ourselves some food. I watch Beth barely pick at the small helping she served herself, instead focused on her mother’s expressions. I’m afraid to look at my mother.

“So what exactly do you do Nora?”

Oh shit.

“I’m a waitress at a dinner.”

I know she’s thinking her suspicions were confirmed, white trash.

Mom puts her wine glass down and looks over the table at her, “Lucrative?”

I kick my mother lightly under the table but she doesn’t even acknowledge me. Nora looks uncomfortably back at mom, “Not really. Did you think it was?”

Mom purses her lips, “I wasn’t sure.”

Nora sits back against the chair, “Well now you know.”

“And your husband?”

“My ex husband works in construction.”

Mom shakes her head, “Well that’s…. nice.”

“I provide a roof over my children’s head and teach them right from wrong which is more than I can say for some people,” Nora says biting back.

“And what exactly is that supposed to mean?” mom questions.

“I taught my children never to look down on anyone and make the best of life.”

Mom puts the napkin on the table, “And I don’t?”

“No, as a matter of fact I don’t. I don’t think I have ever met a man who has acted poorly than your son did the first time I met him. Now that I have met you I know now where he gets it from.”

I feel my defenses go up and watch Beth move her chair closer to her mother, “Excuse me but I think I have done a wonderful job raising my son.”

“Yes his drug habit was a real winner,” Nora says.

Mom’s eyes narrow and Beth and I just stare, powerless to stop this train wreck, “Well at least my son is stable.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me, your daughter is a suicidal maniac.”

“Now you listen here,” Nora says standing up, “My daughter is just fine and your son doesn’t deserve her.”

“Wait a minute.” I interrupt but my mother cuts me off.

“Your daughter is a gold digger who needs to find another someone else other than my son. He’s too good for her.”

Beth goes white and holds her hand over her stomach as she quickly excuses herself from the table, running to the bathroom. Nora gets up, running after Beth and Mom sends the chair flying back as she grabs her purse, “Justin, end this thing.”

I watch her walk out the door and it takes me a second to recover before going to find Beth. I turn the corner to find her hugging Nora goodbye, “Mrs. Addison-”

She holds her hands up in the air, “Goodbye.”

Beth tries not to cry as her mother leaves. She stares at the door before turning to me, “Your mother is a real bitch.”

Beth angrily goes onto the dining room and starts to clean up, slamming the dishes into one another and carrying them out to the kitchen as I follow fast at her heels, “Do not call my mother a bitch.”

Beth pauses for a moment in an exaggerated position of rubbing her thumb against her chin as if she’s really thinking of the sentence, “No… no bitch comes to the forefront of my mind.”

“Hey, your mother wasn’t exactly pleasant either.”

“Which part wasn’t she nice, the one where she was ridiculed for having a job or where she was accused of raising a homicidal maniac?”

“Hey, your mother accused mine of raising a druggie,” I protest.

Beth slams the dishes into the sink, breaking some of them from the force, “Oh, I’m so sorry. Your poor mother,” she mocks.

“Hey, what she said was not exactly nice but it didn’t mean your mom had to blow up, besides, yours was the first to say I didn’t deserve you.”

“Well if the shoe fits,” she spats.

“Well at least what my mom said was true.”

“About what?” Beth challenges.

I don’t respond so Beth presses me, “About me being suicidal?”

I back off a little, “You were at one point,” I whisper.

Beth starts to hyperventilate and I reach out my hand for her, “Look that’s not really what I meant.”

She slaps my hand away from her, “Yeah I know exactly what you meant, your siding with your mother.”

I try to form words but Beth just turns around and runs for the door.

“Beth, get back here,” I call after her.

She spins around, “You know what Justin? Here’s a gesture you gave me when we first met,” she says, sticking her middle finger in the air.

She heads down the driveway to her car and backing out to the street. I call after her but to no response.  I slam the door and collapse in bed, wondering how we are going to pick up the pieces after this. Damn it.