We left LA for the second go around on Justin’s tour, on which we are back in the northeast. Boston. I smile as I relax on Justin’s chest as he nods off from time to time lounging on his couch, “You know, the first time I met you I swear I wanted to run out the other way screaming.”

“Aren’t you glad you stayed?” he mumbles softly.

I spread my chair out over his chest as I readjust myself, “Most of the time.”

His arms go to my back and rub my back softly, “You know your life wouldn’t be complete without me.”

I scoff, “Yeah, where would I be if I wasn’t following your ass around and making sure your coffee is hot.”

“You’re so funny,” he says sarcastically.

 I sit up a little and broach the subject I’ve had on my mind again, “Justin, can we talk?”

“Mmmm,” he moans to appease me, not really pay attention to me.

“I’m serious, you have to sit up and open your eyes.”

He doesn’t open his eyes, instead trying to push me down towards him again. I pull back and Justin moans out of annoyance, “Come on Beth.”

“No I mean it. Come on,” I protest, silently begging him to understand.

Justin sighs in defeat and sits up, “What is so damn important that you had to stop our little bonding session for?”

“I want to talk about work.”

“You have got to be kidding me,” he says, staring at me.

“I’m not. My work is very important to me and I’m not doing it.”

Justin clenches his fists and forces a smile, “Why can’t you just enjoy us? Why do we have to talk about work?”

I push the hair out of my face and behind my shoulders angrily over why he can’t understand where I’m coming from, “Because although I do love us, I also need to work. I don’t think you would be very happy to follow me around and do nothing.”

Justin raises his eyebrows, “Would I get sexual benefits?”

I smack his side, “It’s not funny. This is a serious conversation.”

“And I’m being serious. Everything is going to be fine,” he says trying to reassure me.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“What question?”

I move to the other side of the couch to demonstrate the seriousness of the topic, “Whether you would be happy following me around.”

Justin gets annoyed and jerks up from his position of lying down on the couch, “I have never ever wanted to be a personal assistant. Maybe if I did I would want to. Do you know how many people would love to get paid for simply traveling the country?”

“But that’s not me.”

We both stare at each other since we both want the other to understand each other’s point of view when my phone cuts our staring contest short. I groan and reach for it in my purse. I hold my hand over the talk button and try to get up to go into the other room to answer it. Justin watches me and his playful attitude stops, “It’s Jake isn’t it.”

I turn around as the phone continues to ring, “Justin please don’t give me a hard time. We already talked about this.”

He throws his hands up in the air in defeat and walks out. I press the talk button as I watch Justin walk away, “Hello?”

“Hi Beth it’s me.”

I waver on my feet, “Hey Jake.”

“Hi, I was wondering if you had a minute.”

I go to answer him but a hand tapping me continuously on the shoulder, “Hold on Jake.”

I spin around to find Lynn, “Betsy where is Justin?”

Oh good, it’s genetic. I stand there in shock for a minute before opening my mouth, “My name is Bethany and I have no idea.”

Lynn walks right by me, barely missing my shoulder as she continues her power walk to the other room. It takes a minute before I realize I’m holding the phone against my body and Jake’s still on the line, “Hey I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t apologize. I know you’re busy.”

I laugh at the humor in that statement, “Not as busy as you’d think.”

“Hard dating someone you work for?”

I move my fingers through my hair, “You have no idea.”

Jake stutters for a moment, “So how is life treating you?”

I grin, “Fine. That’s not why you called me was it?”

Jake laughs nervously, “No it’s not.”

“Then what can I do for you?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to set up that lunch date?”

I lick my lips as I go through my planner, “Well we will be in New York next week. How about Wednesday?”

I hear shuffling on the other line before I get a response, “That sounds fine to me.”

“Okay, well I’ll see you then.”

“It’s a date,” he says.

I hesitate from the response, “It’s something.”

________________________________________________________________________

I sit and contemplate the thought of Beth having lunch with Jake. Uh I’m thinking of laughing which will lead to kissing which will lead to sex. Okay, maybe I’m overreacting but you know what? I don’t want to share her. She’s my girlfriends, why the hell should I have to share her with her ex?

My me time is interrupted by my mother, “You know she’s really starting to get on my nerves.”

I give her the most confused look in the world, “Hi, why are you here and what the hell are you talking about?”

My mother sits down across from me, “Gee, hi to you to. I’m here because I thought I would visit my only son and your girlfriend is making me nuts.”

“Okay first, you never visit me. Second, you haven’t been around her more than a total of five minutes so there is absolutely no way she should have gotten on your nerves.”

Mom rolls her eyes, “Betsy just stood there staring at me.”

“Maybe she did that because her name is Bethany. Just a guess but it may have pissed her off. She tends to get that way when you don’t remember her name,” I add sarcastically.

Mom throws me a look, “Whatever. Does it really matter as long as she knows I’m addressing her?”

I smile remembering that adorable face she used to make when I couldn’t remember her name, “Trust me when I say do not try and tell her that.”

Mom puts her arm out to my knee, “Honey I ran into Trace earlier and he said he hasn’t seen you in a week.”

I shift uncomfortably under her gaze. She was the one person I could never say no to. She raised me, it was us against the world, “I’ve been busy.”

Mom scoffs, “Yeah with Bella.”

“Bethany, mom. Bella is the dog.”

“My point is that maybe you guys could hang out tonight,” mom pleads.

“I don’t need you to set up play dates for me.”

“Do you want to lose your best friend? Because that’s the road you headed down.”

“Mom.”

“You don’t have to listen to me, just let everything dissipate.”

This is not going anywhere, “Fine mom. I don’t feel like arguing.”

Mom smiles and kisses my cheek, “Thank you,” she says leaving the room.

I listen to her footsteps get further and further away until I can’t hear them any more. I sigh and head towards the stage to practice and run into Beth, “So you going out?”

Beth tries to keep from chewing me out, “No, not tonight.”

I nod, “Well I’m going to go out with Trace tonight.”

Beth doesn’t say anything as her lips form a strait line as she nods. I run my hand down the side of her cheek before hitting the stage.

________________________________________________________________________

I meet Trace outside the club and try to smile when I see him, “Hey.”

Trace nods at me, “Hey.”

And here comes the awkward silence. We look at each other for a minute before Trace opens his mouth, “Listen, let’s just go in there and have a good time.”

“I think I can handle that.”

I follow Trace into the club and strait to the bar. He orders two shots and hands me one as people start cheering when they see us. I hold the drink in my hand and shift it around in my glass, watching the liquid hit the sides of the cup. 

“Come on, you said we were going to have some fun,” Trace urges.

I hesitate for a minute before downing the drink.

“That’s the guy I know,” he says patting me on the back.

The familiar burn from the drink causes my blood to heat up as Trace hands me another one. Some girl grabs my hand that doesn’t have alcohol in it and grinds up against me on the dance floor. The moves come naturally and I remember what it felt like to go out without a care. Everything has been so intense these days it’s nice to take a break from it. And thinking about Beth and Jake.

I see Trace out of the corner of my eye give me the thumbs up and I know I’m doing something right. But I’m not so sure that it’s right in the moral sense. I miss Beth. I miss her smile, her eyes, her body against mine. This girl isn’t Beth. She just doesn’t fit against me the right way. The way only she can. But then again she probably isn’t thinking of me. She’s thinking of Jake. That jackass.

The girl giggles and eyes me erotically. I smile but move away from her slowly. Then I see a blonde I know all too well. She steps out from the sidelines and comes over to me, kissing me on the cheek, “Hi.”

“Cameron.”

She smiles, “So you want to dance?”

 It’s going to be a interesting night.

________________________________________________________________________

I wait up in his hotel room waiting for him to come home. Or back I guess I should say. He’s been gone for hours now and it’s three a.m. I’m so exhausted it’s unbelievable. I talked to Jake again and we set something up for next week, which I will have to tell Justin about and listen to the reasons I should not go.

I see Justin come in through the door and I get up to greet him but as I do I see his face. He’s totally hammered. He smiles a smile that is so dopey I want to laugh out loud and cry at the same time. I try to keep from yelling, “Are you drunk?”

Justin doesn’t say anything but locks his arms around my body, dancing with me around the room, “I missed you,” he slurs.

“So the second that you’re away from me you drink? Have you learned nothing?”

Justin holds his head in his hands, “Could you please lower your voice?”

“How could you do this?” I ask, sitting down next to him. I immediately smell expensive perfume on him but reassure myself he loves me. He loves me. 

Justin leans his head to look at me and grins, “I do love your breasts.”

That was the last straw. I pull away from him angrily and storm into his room, grab my pillow and storm right past him out of the room. Justin stumbles out the door, pratically falling out of it and calls after me as I jog down the hall to Gia’s as fast as I can to keep as few people as I can from seeing me in my pajamas.

“Beth, come on.”

I spin around, “You know what? I tried my best to help you but if you don’t help yourself there is nothing I can do.”

I leave him as he tries to understand the words I spat at him and throw open the door to Gia’s room and fall face first into the bed, crying into the comforter. I feel a arm go around me and a body hit the bed, “You just cry about whatever he did. Let it all out,” Gia says.

And I do. For hours after I don’t speak. I just lay there on the bed with Gia and make myself comfortable as she lays awake with me. She doesn’t ask any questions instead waiting for me to talk.

“He got drunk tonight.”

Gia sits up, “Oh I’m so sorry.”

“Me too.”

“I do think he loves you though.”

“It doesn’t make me feel any better.”

Gia smoothes my hair back, “It will just take time.”

“And then I talked to Jake.”

Gia falls back onto the bed, “Oh. That was a smart move.”

“It made me realize just how much I love Justin.”

“Then give him a chance to explain.”

“Okay. As soon as I calm down.”

“Good. Now how was the sex?”

I smack Gia with the pillow and roll over listening to Gia laugh.