I grin before even opening my eyes as I feel him against me. Damn last night was amazing. I don’t think I have ever enjoyed sex that much in my life, not that I have a lot to compare it to, but still I was satisfied. He lazily has an arm draped across my torso and our legs are entangled with one another’s. Unfortunately during this whole eye opening experience which I plan on repeating with him, we never managed to get around to discussing my job. That thing that I supposed to be doing when I’m really not.

The more I thin about it the more it makes me nuts and I decide to get up and jab a glass of orange juice. I pull on Justin’s tee shirt that hits my mid thigh and find my way through the enormous house and to the kitchen. I search through the fridge for the jug and reach for a glass and pouring some for myself as I try to keep the fridge open with my foot. I door of the fridge closes as it slips and I groan as I turn around with the juice to put it back. I scream as soon as I do as someone is right in front of me and drop the jug on the floor, sending juice spilling onto the floor.

“Oh shit.” I whisper.

“Mmm. That is the understatement of the year.” Lynn says with her arms folded over her chest glaring at me in my attire.

“I…I….I” my stuttering is really eloquent right about now as she gets angrier by the minute.

“You are standing in my son’s kitchen wearing his shirt and if I’m not mistaken, you’re an employee. Did he give you a key or something?”   

“Um….” I begin but Justin interrupts me as his voice carries from the stairs to the kitchen.

“Beth, you should have let me put that thing in the magazine about your breasts, it’s so true.” he says laughing as he enters the kitchen only to freeze when he sees who I’m staring at.

“Mom?”

“Justin. Sleeping with the help are we?”

I feel like scum. What the hell kind of question is that?

“Mom, listen it’s not what it seems.” Justin begins.

“Really? Because what it looks like to me is that someone is looking for a promotion.”

“It’s not like that.” I say firmly as I’m belittled.

“Mom, can I please speak to you alone?”

I can still feel the anger in her stare as they walk away into the next room. I stand there for a minute feeling like an idiot before sprinting up the stairs and collapsing in Justin’s room in tears. It’s the whole trailer trash mentality. That’s what I am to her.

_______________________________________________________________________

I take my mom by the arm and guide her into the other room away from Beth’s ears, “Mom, how could you do that to her?”

“How could I do that to her? How could you do this to me? Let’s start there.” she says, spinning around to face me.

“I didn’t do anything to you mom. It’s not about you.”

Mom shakes her head and puts her weight on the other foot, “She’s your assistant Justin. You need to be so careful with people like that.”

“What kind of people mom? She’s a good person mom, I can’t even begin to explain it to you.”

“What you can explain to me is how this got started. What happened to Cameron?”

I laugh bitterly, “Trust me, you don’t want to know.”

“I can tell you what I do want. I want you to end it.”

I feel like I got the wind knocked out of me, “I can’t mom.” I argue.

“Sure you can. Go up there and tell her you made a mistake and end it. Believe me she’ll get over it, they all do.”

“But I can’t. I need her.”

“Justin.” mom says annoyed.

“No mom, she’s not like that. She’s different than the rest of them. She understands me mom, I love her.”

If her head could spin off I think it would right now, “Excuse me? How could you be in love with her?”

“I don’t even know how to answer that. How do you describe feeling that for someone else other than you just do. Mom if you would just get to know her I’m positive we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

Mom crosses her arms over her chest, “Honey-”

“Mom, she’s important to me.”

Her hands go up to my cheeks and hold my face in her palms the way she used to do to me when I was younger, “Sweetheart, she will never be good enough for you.”

I pull away from her grip at the words as they sting me, “Thanks a lot.”

“I’m trying to be honest with you honey. I’m your mother and it’s my job to make sure that no one takes advantage of you.”

“Than what the fuck was Cameron?” I ask angrily.

Mom sighs in defeat, “Look, we’ll talk about this later. I just came by to check on you and see what you were up to. Know I know what you were doing. Or should I say who.”

I give her an annoyed look, “Mom…”

“I’ll see you later hon, hopefully when you two are fully dressed.” She says, heading out the back door. It takes me a moment to recover before I make a beeline to the kitchen only to find Beth gone. I take the stairs two at a time up to the bedroom when I hear soft crying coming from the master bath. I walk in to find her just curled up in a ball on the floor, pressed up against the glass shower door.

“Beth, it’s alright.” I whisper as I bend down to her level as I wrap myself around her.

“No, it’s not. First it’s your friend, now it’s your mother. What is it about me that they don’t like.” she asks, looking up at me with a tear slipping from her eye and down her cheek.

“What friend?” I ask feeling my blood rise, knowing full well what friend she means.

“Trace.” she says simply.

I make a mental note to kill him later, “He’s a prick.”

“He’s your friend. And that still doesn’t mean that they like me.”

My voice converts to that of the way one might comfort a child, that soothing voice that tells them everything is going to be okay even though it seems the world is tumbling down, “It’s not that they don’t like you, they don’t know you. If they did they would be as crazy about you as I am.”

“Yeah, that must be it.” she says sarcastically as she wipes away a stray tear with her thumb.

“It’s true. Trace is probably pissed that he didn’t sleep with you first.” I add, tucking a piece of her hair away from her face so I can read it.

Beth scoffs, “Yeah you’re so right. It must be the same reason your mother doesn’t like me.”

The thought makes me gag, it is my mom after all, “No, she’s just protective. I think I’m living proof that she’s not into girls. Though is she was, she would realize just how drop dead sexy you are.”

“I think your mom knows after you commented on my breasts, yet again.” she says with a small smirk.

I laugh softly, “Yeah, I did do that didn’t I?”

“Again. How often do you think about my breasts anyway?” she says breaking into a fit of laughter thinking of the whole scene.

I pick her up off the floor, “Well allow me to tell you with a demonstration…”

________________________________________________________________________

I make myself comfortable on the oversized couch in the living room and go through a couple of Justin’s photo albums since he had to go meet a producer. The story of his life are emulated through goofy grins and candid moments captured within the film. Baby and school pictures, pictures of Trace and him fooling around, pictures of his family. I pull out the picture of Sarah and take another look at it. I feel pain, loss and resentment when I look at her face. Pain that she had to end her life the way she did, loss from the life we could have led together and resentment for only thinking about herself. I still lover her though.

My cell starts to ring and I answer it without glancing at the phone number, “Hello, Bethany Addison speaking.”

“Beth?” a familiar voice says.

If shock could kill, I’d be dead, “Jake?”

“Yeah, it’s me.”

I hold my hand against my stomach to keep from losing my breathe, as if that’s going to help one bit, “What do you want?”

“I called to apologize for doing what I did to you. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“You really should have thought about that before doing what you did.” I grit out.

“I just didn’t know how to react to the news. I am so sorry.”

I lick my lips, “And it took you a month to figure out?”

“I don’t know what else to say Beth other than I made a mistake. People aren’t perfect but that’s life. You forgive and move on because there are good people in this world Beth.”

“I know.” I respond as I close the book of photographs.

“So what do you think about giving us one more try?”

I pull my legs up to my chest, “I’m kind of seeing someone right now.”

Jake sighs over the phone, “Well, that was fast.”

I hear resentment is his voice, “Thanks a lot.” I answer.   

“Sorry. How about we just try to be friends?” Jake offers, throwing the question at me as what sounds like a last resort.

I squint as the sun pours through the glass window in the room, “Alright. How do you want to go about doing that?”

“Well when we see each other, we act civil.” he says laughing lightly as he tries to lift the mood.

“I think I could handle that.” I say, standing up and putting the photo album back on the shelf where I found it.

“Okay. I’ll call you when we reach New York. Maybe if you’re not busy you could come check out the show or something as long as your new boyfriend is cool with everything and all.”

“Okay. Talk to you later Jake.”

“You too Beth. I care about you know.”

I gently let my fingers slide over the frame sitting on the table that holds a picture of Justin and Lynn, “Thanks, bye.”

I hang up the phone and throw it on the other side of the couch. I rub my hands up my arms even though I know it’s not caused by a chill. At least not the kind of chill from the air temperature. The sound of the front door opening causes me to jerk upright and take a deep breath, fixing my hair as Justin walks in, “Hey.”

He smiles wryly at me, “Since you were having such a… long day, I brought you a gift.”

I cock my head to the side, “What gift?”

A second figure appears in the entrance way and I put my hand to my mouth in surprise, “Sam?”

He grins and runs over to me, wrapping his arms around my waist, “I missed you Belle.”

I breathe as sigh of relief as I touch his head gently. I look up at Justin and mouth, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” he whispers.

I really do love him, both of them. Sam tips his head back to look at me, “It was so cool. I got to ride in the coolest car where the rims spin.” He says with a smile.

“I’m so happy you’re here buddy.” I say in shock as I memorize his face like I’ll never see him again. I suppose the maternal instincts kick in when I’m with him.

Justin takes a step closer to me and hands me a box. I can barely take my eyes off of his as they fixate on mine. Sam lets go of me as he greets Justin’s dogs and I carefully open the wrapped box and lift the lid. Inside is a ring that has a ruby heart in the middle of a white gold band. Nothing too over the top, just sweet.

I move my body into his embrace and find contentment as Sam plays with the dogs. This is how life should always be.