Beth is the most fucking beautiful thing I have ever seen in my bed. In my life. She was all curled up next to me this morning clothed in my shirt and hair that was all tangled in that way that only girls can do. The kind that when they first open their eyes and a few stands fall into their face makes you go week in the knees and you thank God you weren’t standing up because they just might give out from under you.

Unfortunately this morning, I didn’t wait for her to wake up. My cell phone had started to ring this morning around six and I woke up in a daze, frantically searching for the phone before Beth woke up, “Hello?”

“It’s me.”

I sigh heavily and get out of bed, moving to the lounge area, “What’s up Trace?”

“Can we talk? I haven’t really spoken to you since I rejoined everything.”

I glance at the clock on the wall, “Meet me in a half hour in my dressing room.”

“Can do.”

I hung up and got dressed. I took one last glance at Beth and kissed her head before heading out to the arena. I take the familiar path to my room and arrive to see Trace already sitting down on the couch, waiting for me, “Hey.”

Trace stands up, “Hi.”

“So you wanted to talk to me?” I begin, breaking the awkward silence between us. It’s the weirdest feeling in the whole world to be standing inches away from someone who two months ago I would have considered my best friend. And now we are in this mess. Desperately trying to figure out where we stand at all.

“Yeah. I wanted to know if we could hang out together today.” he mumbles.

I pause before saying anything as I try to avoid eye contact, “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.”

Trace sighs in exasperation, “Come on, I’m really trying here.”

“Look, it’s not my fault you did what you did Trace. I remember who was there for me.” I seethe recalling exactly how I felt that night. 

“And I said I was sorry. There isn’t anything left to say.” he protests.

“For crying out loud Trace, Beth was there for me and she didn’t even like me at the time! And you who claimed to be my best friend left me to die.”

“Beth? Who’s Beth?” he murmurs.

I spin around to look at him in confusion, “What?” 

“Beth. You mean your assistant?” he says, starting to laugh.

I’m totally lost, “Yeah.”

“The girl who you bitched out in the bar and flipped off at the record store AND made the comment about her breasts?”

“That’s the one.” I say, clearly annoyed but he’s not getting my drift.

“I mean, I heard rumors just like anyone else who has the internet but I never thought for one moment you would actually develop a thing for this girl. Sure the pictures were convincing but I figured that she had to follow you around. Boy was I wrong.”

“Don’t make fun of her.” I warn.

“I thought you were just trying to piss me off by making me ride with Gia after that night but now I see it was for a different reason. Dude, she’s insane! Didn’t you read the papers? Girl is suicidal, a nutcase and you fell for her!” Trace gasps through his laughter.

The words insane and nutcase burn as they sink in. My mind drifts back to Beth that morning in the hotel, her with the empty beer bottles staggering around the hotel room as her world came down around her. The privacy she once had taken from her in less than a couple hundred words. My anger starts to boil over as Trace sinks to the floor in hysterics and before I know what I’m doing, I grab him by the shirt and pull him up, pushing him against the wall, “Don’t you ever talk about her like that ever again.”

Trace’s expression has changed to one of sheer terror, “Justin, she’s one girl.”

I slam him against the wall again, “Don’t ever call her those names again.” I growl, letting go of him. This time he slides down the wall for a different reason. A very different reason. I feel like were worlds apart now.

________________________________________________________________________

I wake up alone much to my distaste and get dressed, checking my blackberry for messages only to find out I missed a call from Sam. Damn it. A knock on the trailer door breaks my concentration as I hear Gia’s voice sail through the small area, “Justin, you up?”

I pull on my shoes and head out to the lounge area, “Hey G. Justin isn’t here.”

Gia opens one of the drawers near the kitchenette area and takes a candy bar from it, something she would never do if Justin was present, “He took off so early?”

I shrug, “When I woke up he wasn’t in bed.”

“Johnny is looking for him. More pictures of you two are starting to surface.”

I roll my eyes and rub my temples lightly, “And he’s pissed?”

Gia takes a bite of her milky way, “Pissed is such a loose term, I prefer concerned for the well being of his client.”

I grab a chair and sit in it, “In other words, if anything does go wrong between Justin and me, not only is my ass fired but he’s not going to be recommending me to anyone anytime soon.”

“It’s the risks you took when you guys got involved with one another. It’s not like this kind of situation has never come up before, you’ll live no matter what happenes.”

I bite my nail and try to smile, “I hope so.”

Gia breaks off a piece of her candy and hands it to me, “Cheer up, there is no show tonight and since we are officially in LA, Justin has a house here so you my dear do not have to spend another night on the bus or hotel room since the arena is so close to his property.”

“It’ll be a nice break.” I admit though I’m not focused so much on her as I am on the conversation Justin is going to be having with Johnny.

“Rob said he would take you over this morning since Justin will be busy till tonight. Justin wanted to give you a day off so I kindly get to take over your job.”

I snap to attention, “ But I’m his assistant, you shouldn’t have to do my job.”

Gia smiles. “Hon, he hasn’t made you do one thing since you two started your relationship. I mean, he only makes you stay because he likes having you around constantly. Have you noticed you haven’t done one coffee run, arranged for transportation or had to schedule anything in the last couple of weeks?”

My mind searches for the last time I got a call to do anything major and I wake up from my coma I was in, “Oh no.”

“Don’t say that. Girls would kill to be in your position. Enjoy it, besides working for Justin is easier than working for Johnny these days. You have yourself to thank for that.”

I begin to feel a headache come on as Gia gets up, “Get ready, Rob will be here in a few minutes.”

I start to fumble around trying to get my stuff together as I put everything in my bag. Tears threaten to spill over and I realize how stupid I have been. I hear a noise and I go out to greet Tony but I come face to face with someone else.

“What are you doing here?” Trace asks as he stands in the doorway of the bedroom.

“No, I think the better question is what are YOU doing here.” I answer, putting my hand on my hip.

Trace sinkers, “No, I used to be here. All the time actually. It was my bus, my friend. Then you came along.”

I feel the weight of his stare bear down on me, “Get out.” I whisper.

“You know he’s just going to use you, just like the others before you. I suppose that would be the right move though since you are using him as well.”

I fight back the tears, “Like you?”

He tenses up and I so do not want to be killed so I respond to his previous question, No I’m not. I care for him.”

“Sure you do. And that caring comes with the opportunity to play house and use his credit cards and have the pleasure of being one of the most envied girls on earth. But it won’t last.”

“Bethany? You ready to go?” Tony calls out.

I push past Trace and head outside to the van and I’m whisked away as I tear up in the back seat.

________________________________________________________________________

I chop vegetables angrily and throw them into a pot with the rest of the stir fry. I have found that chopping things in the kitchen is better than angrily punching numbers on a remote. Of course, Justin’s state of the art appliances help to find the longest, sharpest utensils and put them to good use. I swear this stuff has never been used. Some of the pans were still in their original boxes with price tags that would make your eyes bulge out of there sockets.

I stir the veggies until they are crisp and add the chicken and soy sauce mixture. Justin should be home any minute and we have a lot of talking to do. I can’t go on like this. It’s nice to float on cloud nine for a while but I need to work. I can’t get paid for just following him around, I was hired to do a job that I’m really not fulfilling.

Justin’s voice interrupts my inner battle as he comes in the house, “Hey baby.”

I put the food into the designated bowls and I mix the salad as Justin comes in, “You can cook.” he says, putting his duffel bag down and immediately digging into the food in front of him.

I nod and lick my lips, putting the salad in the middle of the island and taking a seat in the stools, “We need to talk.”

“Mmmm, doesn’t sound like you had a good day.” he says, sighing quietly.

“Look, I don’t want to lay this all on you or anything but I have to say something. I need to do my job.”

“Okay?” he says puzzled.

“You are not letting me do that. You never ask me to do things for you, I never set up appointments anymore, I haven’t had a call from anyone but my family in over a week.”

Justin takes a sip of his water, “That’s because I told them not to call you.”

My jaw drops, “Why?”

“Because other people could do that, you don’t need to be bothered with that kind of stuff, besides, I like your full attention.” he says jokingly.

“Don’t you understand? This is all part of it. You are paying me to essentially follow you around and I feel like I’m way in over my head. I mean if anything was to happen between us I would be out of a job and by the way Johnny feels about me I may never be able to do this again for a living.” I say, breaking down.

Justin immediately jumps up and takes my arms away from the salad I must have flipped several hundred times, “Listen to me, you and I are going to be fine. Don’t worry.” he says, hushing me.

“I’m not doing my job.” I insist.

Justin bends down a little so were eye to eye, “I love you Beth.”

Chills go up my spine, “What?”

“I said I love you.”

I tremble a little as I respond, “I love you too.”

He smiles before putting his hands on my cheeks and pulling me into a kiss. I get lost in him and he pulls me up so I’m sitting on the island as he devours my lips. I can feel the pressure building inside of me as my previous problems disappear. I break our kiss as I look him in the eyes, “I’m ready.”

He doesn’t even have to ask me what I’m ready for, he already knows, “Are you sure.”

I nod as he picks me up and reattaches our mouths together, carrying me upstairs. We make it to the bed and the rush stops as he tenderly removes each article of clothing from me gently, kissing each new piece of skin revealed. I swear I have died and gone to heaven. He rids himself of his clothing and wraps himself around me, skin to skin. I try not to panic as he does but it’s been a long time since the last time I did this. He enters me and I feel myself adjusting to him, letting him engulf himself within me.

After what feels like hours, I collapse underneath him, gasping for air. His pants become quicker as he achieves his release and lays his head down on my chest, “You okay?” he whispers.

“More than okay.” I answer.

“You sure?” he asks, rolling so that he’s propped up on his arm next to me.

I nod and he pulls me to him melting the two of us together before we close our eyes to get some sleep.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”